Fatherhood
by born2climb
Summary: Gretchen leaves her baby to Kyle for him to take care of. Gretchen is no where to be found so over night Kyle has become a teenage father. T to be safe. I own nothing!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Welcome to Fatherhood

(Kyle POV)

I shot one last basket then glanced at my watch; I had ten minutes to get home for dinner.

"Hey Declan, I have to go." I clasped Declan's hand, and then did what he called a man hug.

"Alright see ya man." Declan said as we hugged.

Declan continued to shoot while I ran off into the park. I made it home in 4 minutes and 27 seconds. I hopped up on the porch and was about to head inside, but something stopped me. I looked down at my feet and saw a little baby, wrapped in a light blue knit blanket. _How could someone leave an infant out in the cold all alone?_ I thought. I knelt down beside the baby, fast asleep in its baby carrier. That's when I realize that I recognized this baby; I had delivered this baby just a month and a half ago. I picked up the carrier and brought the little guy inside.

I took him into the living room and set the carrier on the couch, and then I scooped him up. He fussed a little, and then relaxed, curling up on my chest. I noticed an envelop with my name written on it, sitting in the carrier. Sitting down on the couch, I snatched the envelop and ripped it open, I needed some reason for why anyone would leave a baby out in the cold.

_Dear Kyle,_

_I'm sorry Kyle, but I can't be the kind of mother this child deserves. I wish I could but I can't. He needs a loving family, and someone like you to take care of him. Please you are the only person I trust that would take good care of him and raise him right. Kyle, all I ask is that you take him in, care for him, and provide the kind of loving home I am unable to provide. I know I am asking a lot of you but you're my last chance. Let him know that, even though I can't care for him, I love him and always will._

_Please he deserves better,_

_Gretchen Denver_

_P.S little bunny his first name is Brice, his middle name is Kyle after you_

I looked over the tear stained letter again and again. I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the idea of leaving your child. I was pulled from my trance by the sound of Nicole's voice.

"Kyle din-" But she didn't finish. I peered over my shoulder at her. "Kyle whose baby is that?"

My eyes locked on a few words from the letter _"Please he deserves better." _ Then my gaze shifted to Brice, the little boy that reminded me of myself once lost, confused and alone that was until someone took me in. He needed me even though he didn't know it yet I am all he has.

"Apparently he is my son…" I trailed off not knowing how to explain so I stood up and handed her the letter. Her face went from confused to shock, and then she frowned.

"Kyle this-"

"Nicole before you say I am too young to have this kind of responsibility, I am 18, and normally I would agree with you. But I am all he has." As I spoke Brice snuggled closer to the crook of my neck.

She gave me a weak little smile "Okay, Kyle, he can stay here for tonight, and we can talk more over dinner it's just the two of us tonight." Josh and Lori were out and Stephen wasn't home from work yet.

Before I followed Nicole to the kitchen I took Brice to my room. I set his carrier down, and then gently place him into it. I tuck his blanket around him and ruffled his hair, and then I left the room with the door open and headed to the kitchen.

We had finished dinner and we were still sitting at the kitchen table, talking about what we were going to do with Brice. Stephen came home and joined us. He was equally as shocked when Nicole and I filled him in about Brice. We talked for hours. We came to the conclusion that, if Lori and Josh didn't mind, I would adopt Brice. The Tragers would help me, but I would be the one that would have to get up in the middle of the night and hold him when he cried. I would assume all the normal roles of a teenage father. This also meant that I would have to get a job to pay for things like formula, diapers, daycare while I was at school, clothes, and what ever else Brice would need.

"To think that only a few hours ago I didn't have any other life but my own to worry about." I sighed running my hands through my hair.

"Kyle you don't have to do this." Stephen paused and glanced at Nicole. Nicole reached across the table and lovingly held my hand.

"Kyle you do have a choice in this." She reminded me.

I looked down at the table. I was all Brice had, he needed me. "No, I have to do this, if I don't take him in, I'll always be seconded guessing myself about if I did the right thing or not, and I'll always regret not protecting him." I paused "He reminds me of myself. I was once him lost, confused and alone, that is until you guys took me in." Nicole squeezed my hand causing me to look up, and see her smiling at me with tears at the brim of her eyes.

"Oh Kyle…" She trailed off. Then I heard cries coming from my room and I knew they heard it too.

Stephen gave me a smile "Well Kyle welcome to fatherhood."


	2. Chapter 2

Okay I just wanted to let everyone know that I have finished the 2nd chapter. Sorry for taking so long I had written the chapter once but after reading it a few times I decided that it wasn't very well put together and it didn't seem right. So over the last week or so I have been working on a new chapter 2. Anyway I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on. and no I haven't given up on the fanfic and you can look forward to chapter 2 being up soon I will post it once I get it back from my beta (a little shout out to KJ's Dad he has been my beta for this story check out his fanfics are awesome if you like mine you should check out his they amazing!) Thanks to everyone for reading this and look for a new chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Father and Son

(Kyle POV)

The morning sun was peeking through the clouds. I repositioned Brice for what seemed like the millionth time. I had put Brice to bed around seven o'clock last night, and he woke up around ten last night and he hasn't slept for more than a half an hour at a time since. This is the fourth night in a row that he has done this, which means I have been running off of three or four hours of sleep in the past 96 hours. Normally this would be okay, but with all the extra energy Brice has been taking out of me it's starting to take a toll on me.

I glanced down at him, finally he had fallen asleep. I slowly and gently got up and tucked him in his crib, which Stephen and Nicole used to use for Josh and Lori when they were little. I was about to go back to bed when I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Hey." It was Nicole. "Still not sleeping?" She frowned

I shook my head

She gave me a faint smile "Don't worry he will."

I nodded and she left the room. I assumed she left to make breakfast. The thought made me smile I could really go for some of her blueberry pancakes.

I caught a glimpse of the clock 8:30am, I let out a sigh, I was going to have to get up in a half an hour _what's the point in going back to bed _I thought. I dragged my feet over to the closet and pulled out my grey sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans, and then got dressed. I grabbed the baby monitor off the desk, not that I needed it, it just made things a little easier. I left my room and headed for the kitchen.

"Morning!" Stephen greeted I could tell there was a slight chuckle in his tone. I assumed it was because of my messy hair, and morning stubble on my face that usually wasn't there.

I smiled lazily "Morning." I yawned "Is Josh, up yet?" I asked

Nicole and Stephen exchanged glances. "Josh, get up before noon on a Saturday?" Nicole questioned in shock, as she stirred the pancake batter.

I smiled to myself at the thought. "He has to work I am tutoring a kid at the Rack so he is going in an hour early to watch Brice, for me in exchange for a ride and fixing the breaks on his car." I explained.

"Oh no he isn't up then." Stephen answered "who are you tutoring anyway?"

"Um a boy named Jacob and girl named Kate." I noticed that Nicole had her worried mom look on. I sighed I knew she thought I was taking on to much. "Don't worry Nicole, I'm fine. I have to do this to pay for Brice, going to daycare while I work and go to school…I'm all he has remember." I smiled.

Nicole lovingly ran her hand across my stubbly cheek. "It becomes final when you sign the papers tonight." She reminded me.

"I know." I hugged her "I'm going to go wake Josh." I called as I bound up the stairs.

"Kyle!" she called after me

"Yeah?" I called from the top of the stairs.

"Shave." She ordered.

"Alright!" I chuckled.

Josh's door was open, I knocked on it lightly anyway "Josh." I walked towards his bed "Josh, come on get up!"

"No!" he protested.

"Come on get up." I said as I started to peel his blanket off of him.

"Urg fine!" He grumbled and I left to get ready. "Stupid breaks not working." I could hear him carry on as I shaved.

I splashed the cold water on my face repeatedly until all the extra shaving cream was gone, and then I snatched the towel and dried off my face. It was about time to get Brice ready for the day so I headed back downstairs to my room.

"Hey there little guy." I smiled at him as I pick him up and grabbed a striped grey and dark blue sweater and a pair of jeans from the closet for him. "Alright buddy you have to be good for your Uncle Josh today." Brice just stared at me like I was crazy, I laughed a little. "He is doing your Daddy a real big favor, he woke up early today to watch you well I'm tutoring some kids." I explained this to him as I pulled the sweater over his head. "Okay your all set!" I set him back in his crib while I got his bag together, once that was all set I scooped him back up in my arms, his legs were straddling my rib cage. I slung the bag over my shoulder and left the room.

"Ready to go?" I asked Josh as I entered the kitchen

"Yep!" He replied tossing me a pancake for the road as he grabbed one for himself.

"Bye!" We called to Stephen and Nicole.

We arrived at the Rack in about ten minutes. I had gotten Brice all set in his stroller that I had brought for him. I knelt down to his level "Remember be good okay." I ruffled his hair and gave him a kiss of the forehead.

"He should be okay but if he isn't I have my cell." I told Josh standing up.

Josh laughed "Relax Kyle, I've got this." He said patting my shoulder "We're just going to be at the park across the street, don't worry."

"Okay thanks for doing this." I smiled at him then checked Brice one last time.

"Bye Kyle." He said turning the stroller around and headed for the park.

I went inside to find Jacob the kid I was tutoring, sitting at a table by the front windows.

"Hi! I'm Kyle." I greeted extending my hand to him.

"Jake." He smiled. He looked to be about 14 years old. He had short wavy brown hair and green eyes.

"Alright Jake what do you need help with?" I asked sitting down across from him at the table.

"Ah… math and some science."

"Well alright let's get started." He took out his books and we got to work.

(Josh POV)

I strolled around the park a few times and I got looks of judgment from walkers, joggers, and people just passing by. It made me mad to think that this is what Kyle has to put up with every time he goes out with Brice. I decided to stop at a bench to feed Brice. I had only done it a few times in the past seven or eight months but the last time I had to feed him he was still drinking milk.

My thoughts began to wonder_ how long had Brice, been with us? Lets see the accident was eight months ago, so that means Brice, is eight months old, he was about two months old when Kyle, found him, so that means he has been living with us for…six months, wow_. I shook my head refocusing on what I was doing. I dug through the bag Kyle had given me and found a jar of baby food.

"Okay squirt." I opened the jar and attempted to feed him. "Here you go." To my surprise it went real well. The only problem was that he had food all over his face. I rummaged through the bag again to find some wipes. "There all clean." I smiled.

He had light brown almost blond hair which he must have gotten from his biological father because Gretchen had dark brown hair. But he had blue green eyes like Gretchen though. I shook my head then decided to take Brice over to the swings.

(Kyle POV)

"Okay if you add X to 3 then multiple be Y what do you get?" I asked Kate who was struggling in math as well as Jake was.

Her eyebrows pulled together "Um 42?" She guessed.

I chuckled "Yeah, you're right." I glanced at the clock on my phone. "Well it looks like we're out of time." I said and she began to pack up her things.

"Oh before I forget my Mom wanted me to give you this." She slid a white envelop across the table.

I opened it "thank you Kate!" it was a check to pay for Kate's tutoring.

"No problem Kyle!" She beamed then left.

"Hey Kyle!" Josh greeted me. I glanced up at him, he had a very tired looking little boy in he arms.

"Hey, how was he?" I asked taking Brice from him.

"He was fine; he liked the swings a lot." Josh said from behind the counter as he grabbed his apron and put it on. "We spent most of our time there."

"He went on the swings?" I asked a little shocked.

"Yeah don't worry it was the baby swings of course." He rolled his eyes.

I laughed a little "Alright well I'm going to get him home." Brice had fallen asleep on my shoulder.

"See ya!" He called after us as we left.

We got home, and I ended up falling asleep on the couch with Brice sleeping on my chest. I don't know how long we were out but I awoke to the flash of a camera going off. My eyes slowly opened.

"Oh I'm sorry I was trying not to wake you, but you guys looked so cute I had to take a picture." Lori grinned setting the camera down on the coffee table.

"It's fine." I yawned, I looked at the clock I had about an hour till the social services guy was coming with the adoption papers for me to sign "I had to get up anyway Mr. Thomas, is going to be here soon."

"Oh yeah I almost forgot about that." She sat down on the edge of the coffee table.

"That's why Stephen and I traded out my tub out for a bed last weekend." I chuckled as I slowly sat up trying not to wake Brice.

She laughed lightly "By the way Mom, wanted me to tell you that you and Brice have to look quote 'presentable' so you better go get ready before she sees you."

I shook my head and smiled "Of course." I chuckled then went to go get myself and Brice changed.

It was 6:04 Mr. Thomas was late. Everyone was waiting on edge. Tonight I would sign the papers that would make Brice legally my son and I would be his father. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy Mr. Thomas was also going to take a look around the house to make sure that our home was a suitable environment for raising a child.

The whole family was awaiting Mr. Thomas's arrival in the living room. Nicole had made sure that everyone was wearing their nice clothes. Even Josh was wearing something other than a t-shirt and jeans. Josh and Stephen were wearing pretty much the same things; kaki pants and sweaters of course Josh had a red sweater on and Stephen had a blue sweater on. Nicole was wearing a white blouse and black pants. Lori had on of her purple tops on and black pants as well. But according to Nicole and Lori I was the one that had to look the most presentable I had on a blue button down shirt that was tucked into black dress pants. The only thing I had changed about Brice was his pants from jeans to kakis.

I paced back and forth with Brice in my arms, he was resting his head on my shoulder. I peered down at him and lovingly kissed the top on his head. The room was in complete silence until the sound of the doorbell filled the room. I took a deep breath and went into the hallway to open the door with my family following closely behind.

"Mr. Thomas!" I greeted as I opened the door "It's nice to see you again!" I extended my free hand to him and he shook it strongly.

"Please Kyle, call me Jeff." He smiled

"Okay Jeff, you've met Brice, here." I said bouncing Brice a little. "But this is the rest of my family Stephen, Nicole, Josh, and Lori." I pointed to each of them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all." He acknowledged them.

"Here let me take your coat." Stephen offered. Mr. Thomas shrugged out of his coat and Stephen hung it on the hook.

"Well Kyle, I would like to start by talking to you first." I nodded and led him to the living room were Nicole had set out some desserts and coffee on the coffee table. We sat down and began the process.

"So Kyle, tell me why you want to do this?" He asked.

I adjusted Brice on my lap "How could I not do this?" I simply replied.

"Well I mean you're 18, you're going to be graduating high school in a little over a month, and then you're starting college in the fall. Having the responsibilities of a child is not the ideal life a college student would like to have." What he was saying made sense, but over the past few months I had grow attached to Brice and from the start I felt a connection with him.

"I understand that it seems abnormal for an 18 year old to want to take on all this, but I also understand what it is like to have not to have anyone at all, and I don't want that for Brice, since he does have someone, he has me." Mr. Thomas made a few notes on his note pad.

"Well Kyle, from what I have seen from our last meeting and this one you do truly want what is best for Brice here." He paused "But how are you going to handle a child when you move away to college and don't have your parents to help you."

"The same way every other single teenage father does, and the same way I have been since Brice became a part of my life." Mr. Thomas sighed then took a sip of his coffee. He took a few more notes then continued to ask questions.

After about a half an hour he wanted to see my room, and were Brice was sleeping. I led him to my room; he walked around and took a few notes. Then he smile and looked at me.

"Well Kyle." He paused "I've got the adoption papers in my bag if you really want to do this you can sign them tonight."

The biggest grin spread across my face and I held Brice a little closer to my chest. "Yes! Of course I'll sign them right away."

We went back to the living room and he got the papers ready for me to sign. The Tragers had begun to flow into the room when they realized what was going on. Brice was straddling my knee with his back resting on my torso my hand was wrapped around him as well. Mr. Thomas set the papers in front of me then handed me a pen.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked again.

"Yes!" I beamed then signed my name on the papers. Right then and there Brice became my son and I became his father.

This is the unedited version tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Fatherhood

Choices

(Kyle POV)

I had ten letters spread across the counter top at the Rack. Each letter would d not only decide my future but my son's as well. The letters were acceptance letters from top medical school across the country. I had narrowed the list down to ten and now I had to choose the college I would be attending in the fall. There was one from Brown, Columbia, Dartmouth, Duke, Stanford, MIT, University of Michigan, University of Washington, Mount Sinai, and Boston University. There were so many factors that were running through my mind. What could one school offer that the other couldn't, how far away the school was, and what the school offered to a single father.

I glanced down at Brice, who was asleep in his stroller. I had picked him up from day care an hour ago, and then came here because I thought getting out of the house would help me think. I was so lost in thought I didn't realize Amanda had placed a smoothie in front of me.

"Here you go Kyle!" Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Oh thanks but I didn't-" She cut me off.

"I know, but you looked like you could use it." She smiled

"Thank you!" I grinned back.

"Still trying to decide" she said glancing at the letters that were scattered on the counter.

I sighed and nodded "yeah."

She peered around the room "Well its slow today let me see if I can help." She beamed taking a piece of paper and a pen from over by the register. Then she wrote the names of the ten schools down on the paper.

"What are you doing?" I asked

"I am going to help you make a pro and con list of each of the schools." She said not looking up from the paper as she wrote.

I smiled and shook my head and decided to go along with it because nothing I was doing seemed to be helping.

"Okay what are the pros and cons of going to MIT?" I didn't know why but there was a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Well it is a great medical school, and they are willing to accommodate for Brice and I." I paused "But it's far away from the people I love." She looked up at that and I noticed that her heart was beating a little faster.

"Do the cons out way the pros?" I had a feeling I knew what she was referring to. She was referring to us.

I looked down at my hands not sure how to answer the question. "Amanda…" I tailed off, I looked into her bright blue eyes and I felt it again. I felt like I did the first time I saw her when she was playing the piano. I reached across the counter and grasped her hand in mine. "Amanda I told you I loved you once… and that hasn't changed. Amanda I still love you, but I don't know were we stand."

She glanced down at our hands and was about to say something but she just couldn't get the words out.

"Hey guys!" my heart fell and I let go of Amanda's hands. Leave it to Lori to have perfect timing.

"Hey!" I greeted half heartedly; Amanda mumbled a hello then went to help a customer.

"Kyle, mom called and said we had to go home for dinner." She informed me, but I could tell she was questioning what went on with Amanda and me.

I nodded "Alright I'll meet you at the car I've just got to get my stuff together." She smiled but she still appeared suspicious of me as she walked out to the car. _Great this was going to be a fun ride home_. I thought.

I reached over the counter and grabbed the pen and paper Amanda was using and wrote her a quick note.

_Amanda,_

_I'm sorry about Lori, text me when your shift is over, we need to talk._

_Love, _

_ Kyle_

I folded the note and set it by the register where I knew she would find it. I gathered Brice's things and my letters and then left the Rack.

"So Kyle…" Lori pushed once I got in the car "What's going on with you and Amanda?"

I sighed "Well I don't know we were sort of interrupted." I peered over at Lori who kept her eyes focused on the road.

"Sorry." Her voice was filled with guilt.

"It's okay you didn't know." I reassured her. "We started off talking about what school I should go to and then we got onto the topic of our relationship, and that's when you came in."

We pulled into the drive way "Well what did you say?"

I took my seatbelt off and turned a little toward her "I told her I still loved her and she didn't get the chance to tell me how she felt, so I left her a note saying to text me when her shift was over and that we needed to talk." Lori looked off, I could tell she was analyzing.

"Alright so here's the plan I'll watch Brice, for you and you go talk to Amanda." The plan seemed really simple.

I laughed "Okay thanks."

"No problem I'm always here to help you lover boy." She giggled as we got out of the car and I got Brice out of his car seat. He was still asleep so I took him inside and but him down for a nap.

After dinner I sat on the edge of the couch and played with Brice. He was standing between my knees trying to keep his balance. Even though Brice had my attention my thoughts were still on Amanda.

"Hey Kyle," I heard Declan say as he sat down in the chair next to me.

"Hey." I said still lost in thought.

"I heard about you and Amanda," I looked at him, then it clicked Lori "what are you going to do?" His question was simple but even I couldn't answer it.

"I don't know" I sighed

"You love her don't you?" he asked

"More than anything" I said looking up at him

"Then isn't that enough?"

"It should be shouldn't it?" I paused "But I don't want to put her life in danger."

"Kyle, you told me your secret and so far nothing bad has happened to me." Declan said leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees.

"Yeah but…" I trailed off, what he said made sense but it was different with Amanda.

"I think that if she loves you, you should tell her because if you can't tell the person you love who you really are, then who can you tell?" He was right. If she loved me I would have to tell her who I really am.

Just then my phone vibrated on the coffee table. I glanced over at Declan then picked up my phone and read the text. It was from Amanda she was telling me her shift was over and she was asking if I could still meet.

"Go." Declan ordered taking Brice from me "Lori, and I will watch Brice, don't worry about it." I smiled gratefully at him then said goodbye to Brice and left the house to meet Amanda.

**AN: Alright so finally I posted another chapter! Sorry guys but I've been busy with finals and other life things. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know if you're a Kylanda fan you did, as did I. But if you are a Kessi fan I am sorry but I do hope that you continue to read because you will be seeing some of Jessi in later chapters. I am a Kylanda fan and from the beginning of this FF I have said that I won't be writing a Kyle Jessi fanfic, sorry guys. Ok I am rambling so let me sum it up, if you are a Kylanda fan look forward to them having drama, and if you are a Kessi fan I hope you keep reading because Jessi will be in the story soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

Fatherhood

Chapter 4: Goodnight Kiss

(Kyle POV)

Her house was a little dark only the downstairs hall light and her bedroom light was on, which was good for me because it meant Mrs. Bloom wasn't home. I knocked on the door and waited after a moment I could hear her foot steps pattering down the stairs.

"Hi!" I smiled

"Hi!" she replied nervously.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" I suggested holding out my hand.

"Okay" she took my hand.

We walked in an awkward silence for a moment, neither one of us really sure how to start.

"I think with the way things were left at the Rack…maybe… I should start." She said a little unsure and anxious.

"Okay." I said softly

"Kyle… I still love you too!" she paused and my heart fluttered "But there are so many things I don't know about you." She sighed. This was always our problem but it wouldn't be anymore, now I knew what I had to do.

We wondered into the park and found a bench near the lake to sit on. I looked over at her and into her eyes. "Amanda, I realize there is a lot you don't know about me, and you only know bits from what you found out from Nate and the little I've been able to tell you. I also understand that, that has to be very frustrating. But if you want us to be together and to work." I paused collecting my thoughts. "I need to tell you everything."

She looked at me with worry in her eyes but she nodded for me to continue. I told her everything; I told her about Zzyzx, Madacorp, Latnok, Adam, Jessi, I also told her about Brice and Gretchen, I had told her everything.

"That's it that's everything." I glanced back at her there were a few tears in her eyes but I could tell she felt relief.

"Kyle…"she tailed off "none of that matters to me. I still love you." She paused "I don't care about your past all I care about is who you are now, and right now you're the man I love."

By then her face was only a few inches from mine and in seconds I was kissing her. I wrapped my arms around her and I couldn't help but worry about the new danger I had just brought into Amanda's life. But like Declan had said 'if you can't tell the person you love who can you tell?' We parted but I still kept her in my arms, all I wanted to do was keep her in my arms forever.

I noticed the sun was setting behind the thick trees across the lake. I felt Amanda shiver a little so I shrugged out of my jacket and draped it over her shoulders. I stood up and offered her my hand. We began to walk back home and she started to ask questions, but they weren't about Zzyzx, or Madacorp, or even Latnok they were about Brice.

"So how old is Brice?" I hadn't told her much about Brice in the past few months he has been in my life.

"He'll be a year September 2nd."

"If Gretchen, left him with you what happened to his biological father?"

I sighed "I don't really know. Gretchen never said anything about him, all she said was that she couldn't be the parent Brice, needed."

I saw that she snuck a glance at me to see if her question bothered me, I reassured her by placing my arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to my side as we walked.

"Does he talk yet?" She asked another question.

"He is getting there." I laughed "But he is getting quiet well at walking" I bragged like one of those proud P.T.O moms.

By this point we were at her front door and I didn't want to leave her just yet. I looked into her brilliant blue eyes and smiled then leaned down to give her a goodnight kiss. Her lips met mine and the kiss began to deepen. I felt her hand lace around my neck and into my hair as I settled my hands on her hips. We turned and her back was against the door and that's when I knew I had to stop before things went too far. I pulled away from her and she was gasping for air.

"Wow." I sighed and smiled.

She giggled and opened the door; she turned around in the door way to face me with a grin on her face.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked

"Yeah." I nodded "Goodnight Amanda" I said giving her one last kiss goodnight.

"Goodnight Kyle." She said and I turned to head home.

**AN: Okay so I know that I have a lot of fans with mixed feelings about who Kyle should be with Jessi or Amanda. But I'm a Kylanda fans always have been and always will be. So yes Kyle and Amanda are together and yes I will try to work Jessi into the story to cause some drama. **

**Anyway I hope you liked it please leave a comment feedback is always welcome! I enjoy the ideas the fans of my writing give me and I try to work them in depending on the idea! Thank you for reading and this is getting long to that's all! **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Time of Your Life

(Kyle POV)

The even rhythm of the rain beating on the house and the claps of thunder lulled me to sleep. That was until about 2am when Brice's cries brought me out of my deep sleep and into consciousness. I flung the blankets off my legs and climbed out of bed. Stumbling over to his crib I embraced him in my arms. His cries became muffled as he burrowed into my shoulder.

"Its okay buddy." I cooed "You're alright Daddy's here."

I rubbed small soothing circles on his back, and paced around the room. I checked to see if he needed to be changed but that wasn't it. I thought he might be hungry but it wasn't that either. Then there was a flash of lighting followed by a loud clap of thunder causing Brice burrowed closer to my chest and I realized he was afraid of thunder.

I chuckled "Aw Bri, its okay." I told him.

I sat back down on my bed, laying him on my chest and every time there was a boom of thunder he clutched my finger with his tiny hand. I began to tell him stories to distract him from the storm. Eventually his cries became whimpers until they just stopped all together. I glanced down and noticed he had fallen back asleep.

For a while I watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful when he slept. He still had a grip on my finger so I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. I couldn't help but think about how much he was growing everyday. He just started walking and already I felt like I wanted to keep him my little guy forever.

Eventually I realized what time it was and decided to go back to bed. Tomorrow was graduation and Nicole was planning on having a family breakfast as well as going out for dinner to celebrate after the ceremony.

I awoke to the aroma of homemade blueberry pancakes making their way to my room.

"Good morning!" Only Stephen and Nicole seemed to notice. Lori and Josh were engrossed in their banter.

"Good morning Kyle, how'd you sleep?" Stephen asked looking up from his paper at the breakfast table.

"Pretty good I guess, I found out Brice, here is afraid of thunder." I said tickling Brice's stomach as I placed him in his high chair and I took my place at the table across from Lori.

"Alright guys dig in!" Nicole announced setting a plate stacked high with pancakes on the table.

As everyone filled their plates and contributed to the conversation I took note that Nicole was rather quiet. She seemed to be savoring every moment. Lori picked up on it as well but neither of us pushed the subject.

We finished breakfast and everyone fell into their own routine. The girls went to get their hair done at some fancy salon, and us guys hung out at home until about a half an hour before the girls would be home.

We scrambled to get ready in time. We each took shifts in the shower, getting dressed, and keeping an eye on Brice. Since he had begun to walk he was getting into everything.

I was getting dressed and Brice was playing with his toys on the floor. I stood in front of the mirror trying unsuccessfully to tie my tie.

"Here Kyle, let me help you with that." Stephen offered and I turned to him. "There you go, all set!" He beamed and patted my shoulder.

"Thank you!" I said slipping on my gown and cap "Are the girls here?"

"No, they'll be here soon though." Stephen shoved his hands into his pockets. He seemed nervous like he wanted to say something but he didn't know how.

"Is everything okay?" I asked

"Yeah." He smiled "I can't believe you're graduating, it seems like just yesterday Nicole, had brought you home." He paused "Whose going to watch basketball with me and talk sports?" he chuckled "I'm just… very proud of you." He struggled to find the right word.

"Thank you!" I paused "For everything" I said embracing him in a hug.

Just then there was a knock on my door "Mom, just got home she wants everyone outside in five minutes for pictures." Josh informed us.

"Okay we'll be right there." Stephen replied.

I bent down and took Brice's little hand leading him into the hall and out into the front yard. We took some pictures of Lori and I, then the whole family, and a few pictures of just the kids. The pictures took a little longer then we had planned on so we were running a little late to the ceremony.

We made it to the school in time. I left Brice with Stephen and Nicole. But even though we were on time Lori and I were still running to get in line with the rest of the students. We were all in alphabetical order so I was in front of Lori and a guy named Brent Smith was in front of me.

"Kyle, what if I trip?" Lori asked nervously

"You won't." I simply replied

"But what if I do?" She asked.

"Try not to think about it, mind over matter remember?" I smirked

She took a few deep breaths trying to calm her nerves. The ceremony flew by before we knew it Brent Smith was being called and then it was my turn.

"Kyle Trager!" Mr. Hooper called

I strolled on stage and accepted my diploma and I could hear the Tragers cheering and clapping. Then Lori was called on stage and the Tragers cheered again. The ceremony finally ended with the traditional tossing of the caps.

All the graduates and their families were in the school parking lot congratulating one another and talking with their friends. I had yet to find the Tragers when I saw Amanda in the crowd craning her neck to find her mother.

"Amanda!" I called

She spotted me in the swarm off people and some how we made our way to one another. I scooped her up in my arms lifting her off the ground.

"We did it!" I cheered and she giggled

"We did it!" She agreed when I set her down.

I leaned down and kissed her not caring if Mrs. Bloom were to walk up.

"Congratulations." I whispered

"You too!" She whispered back.

"Amanda!" I could recognize that voice anywhere it was Mrs. Bloom.

I said a quick goodbye to Amanda then left to fined the Tragers.

"Good job Kyle, you made it out of the living hell we call high school." Josh said patting me on the back.

"Thanks Josh." I answered taking Brice from him. "Where are Stephen, and Nicole?"

"Over there talking to Declan's dad." He said pointing over his shoulder

I trailed behind Josh over to Stephen and Nicole. Shortly after Declan and Lori met up with us. After Stephen and Nicole were finished catching up with Declan and his dad Nicole asked them to join us for dinner.

"I would love to take you up on that offer Nicole, but I have to get back to work." Declan's face fell "But Declan, here is more than welcome to join you and your family."

Mr. McDonough turned to Declan "Well done son!" then he hugged him and left.

"Well at least he showed up." Declan shook his head and chuckled sadly.

Lori rode with Declan to the restaurant and we all met up there. The hostess led us to our table and shortly after a waiter arrived and took our orders. While we waited for our food we were all talking about how great it was to finally be done with high school and we also talked about life after high school.

In the Fall Lori would be moving to New York City to go to college there and get a degree related to music.

Declan was also moving to New York City with Lori to go to college as well, but he wanted to earn a degree in sports medicine.

And I was moving to New Hampshire with Brice and Amanda to attend Dartmouth because I wanted to become a doctor.

**AN: Okay so this isn't my favorite chapter but I still had fun writing it! Please comment I love reading all your comments and I do my best to reply to them all!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Dada

(Kyle POV)

I stood there in the rain and watched her get out of her car.

"Jessi, why did you call me here?" we were pulled over on the side of some abandon road.

"I came to say goodbye." Her voice was coated in pain and sadness.

"What? Why?" I said taking a few steps closer to her.

"I understand now why my mother felt trapped here." Her voice quivered and a few tears escaped her eyes.

"Jessi, this doesn't make any sense." I told her wiping away the tears oh her face that had mixed with the rain.

"Kyle, I don't belong here I have to leave." She whispered.

"Jessi, yes you do!" I assured her "You have a fam-"

"No Kyle, you have a family. The Tragers are your family, no matter how many times you tell me they are, they aren't my family!"

"Jessi, don't think like that of course they're your family." I said embracing her in a hug.

She fought against me pounding her fist on my chest, but she quickly gave up and began to sob into my chest.

She pulled back after a moment and wiped away a few tears. "I have to go." She said turning to her car.

"Where will you go?" I called over the rain.

She just shrugged "I don't know, anywhere." Then she climbed into her car and drove off.

I stood there in the rain for at least two hours after she left. For a while the rain felt like needles on my skin and soaked clothes. Then I just began to feel numb.

I awoke gasping for air. I glanced at the green glow of the alarm clock, 3:14 am. This was the third night this week I had relived the nightmare where Jessi- the one person who understands what it's like to be different- left me. Each time I had the dream it felt as real as it did the day I had lived it. I thought I had gotten over this nightmare months ago but for some reason it was back.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair falling back on my pillow and tried to fall back asleep with success.

I awoke later that morning around 9:30 to Brice screaming for attention. I climbed out of bed and stumbled over to him.

"Hey Buddy," I cooed "Hey what's with all the screaming? Huh?" He began to calm down when he was safely in my arms.

I noticed his bottom felt a little damp so I gently laid him on the changing table. His cries turned to laughter when I got him all cleaned up. I couldn't ever resist his laughter it always got me to smile or chuckle myself.

"There you go!" I smiled pressing gently on the tabs of the diaper. "All better."

I got him dressed in his play clothes- a long sleeve blue and white shirt and cargo pants- then I set him on the bed while I got dressed. I decide to wear old clothes since I would be working on Josh's car. I pulled on some old jeans and a white t-shirt.

After I fed Brice and got myself a bite to eat I grabbed a blanket and a few of Brice's toys and led him outside. I laid out the blanket on the grass near the driveway and placed his toys on it. He found the toys and was instantly occupied.

I opened the front door to Josh's car and put it in neutral letting the car roll back from the garage and into the driveway. I popped the hood and got my tools from the garage and began work on the car.

Every so often I would check on Brice and he would be doing something silly that would cause me to chuckle. But when I wasn't looking that's when I heard it the small innocent voice call out to me.

"Dada!" He hollered for attention.

Immediately I dropped my wrench and went over and scooped him up in my arms.

"What did you just say?" I beamed

Then I heard someone walking up the driveway "Did he just say what I think he said?" it was Stephen.

Then Brice said it again "Dada!" He smiled up at me.

"Yes he did!" I said proudly

Stephen noticed I was all greasy from working on the car "Here Kyle let me take him you're covered in oil."

I did a quick scan of myself a realized he was right "Alright" I said handing him over.

Stephen took him and began pestering him to say grandpa "Come on Brice, I know you can do it just say it come on Grand-pa" He said each syllable for him.

"Dada!" He said looking at me.

"That's right buddy." I said ruffling his hair and going back to work on the car.

"So what's the damage?" Stephen asked as he peered over the car with Brice still in his arms.

"Well it looks like his battery is dead and he'll need a new one." I told him tightening a loose bolt.

"Well it's a good thing he has a job." He said shaking his head.

After a moment of Stephen watching me work he spoke again "Do you want me to take him inside?" He asked gesturing to Brice "No one else is home and I'm a little bored" He admitted sheepishly.

"If you want to that would help a lot, thank you!" I told him and he walked back to the house attempting to get Brice to say Grandpa.

I was just finishing up with the car when I heard Amanda walking up the driveway.

"Hey!" I called from behind the hood

"Hey."

I felt like she was starring at me and then I remember a conversation Lori and Hillary were having one day about how they found a guy 'hot' when he worked on cars. I shook my head and chuckled a little under my breath.

"What?" she asked becoming self-conscious.

"Nothing." I said coming out from under the hood wiping my hands off on a rag.

"What?" she asked pushing the subject.

I wrapped her in my arms and pulled back a little to look at her "oh nothing I was just laughing at the fact that you were 'watching' me" I smirked.

"I was not 'watching' you!" she protested

"Yes you were!" I teased

She looked away for a moment "Okay maybe I was a little" she smiled innocently.

"That's okay." I told her pulling away from her.

"So guess what!" I said closing the hood of the car and leaning on the front of it.

"What?" she asked playing into my amusement.

"Brice said his first word this morning!" I boasted

"He did! What did he say?" she asked and her excitement climbed.

"Dada" I grinned.

"Aw Kyle, that's great!" She told me leaning into me to give me a kiss.

I placed my hands on the small of her back and she laced her hands around my neck. I could feel the kiss deepening and I pulled her even closer. After a moment we pulled away gasping for air. I held her in my arms and smiled.

"What?" she asked softly

"Nothing," I whispered pulling her close again and she rested her head on my chest "Nothing at all."

She pulled away looking into my eyes "Kyle, you look tired." She commented.

"Yeah I didn't get much sleep last night." I admitted.

"Brice giving you a hard time?" She worried

I decided not to tell her about my dream that was the real cause of my insomnia "Yeah," I lied.

I quickly changed the subject "Come on." I said nodding to the house and taking her hand and leading her to the house.

I took her into the living room because Stephen had just put Brice down for a nap in my room and I didn't want to wake him.

I stretched out on the couch and she curled up on my lap. "So have you talked to your mom about living together this fall?" I asked

She became quiet "Yeah I have." She paused "She said that I'm eighteen and I should be making my own decisions but the way she said it…" she trailed off.

"Amanda if you don't want to live together-" but she cut me off

"No Kyle of course I want to live with you I just hate to upset my mom." She said and I kissed the top of her golden blond hair, letting her rest her head on my chest.

"I know." I said rubbing her arm trying to comfort her. "Amanda, it's up to you I can't tell you what to do." I told her and for some reason I was having to fight with myself to stay awake.

She looked up at me and changed the subject. "Kyle you look exhausted how much sleep have you been getting?"

I sighed "like four or five hours a night." I admitted.

"Kyle that's not good." She scolded me.

"I know." I told her trying to end the conversation I hated lying to her but I knew she wouldn't like the real reason for my insomnia. I pulled her back down so she was resting on my chest again, and I shut my eyes and eventually we both gave into sleep.

After a little while I felt her rise off of me.

I stirred to a semi consciousness "where are you going?" I mumbled.

"Shhhh, shhh I'm just heading home." She whispered "Get some sleep." She said kissing me on my forehead then leaving and I gave up to sleep again.

**AN: I know this chapter was basically fluff but I still enjoyed writing it so please comment!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Priorities

(Kyle POV)

"Dada, Dada!" I could hear my son sniffle from my room. I hopped off the computer in the living room to check on him.

"Hey there buddy, what's wrong? Huh?" I asked, as I scooped him up in my arms.

I rested him on my hip and looked at his tear stained face and flushed cheeks.

"You don't look so good." I said, gently placing the palm of my hand on his forehead. "You feel warm too."

I grabbed his blue knit blanket and his favorite stuffed lion and brought him to the living room. On my way I grabbed the thermometer from the kitchen.

"It's okay shhh, shhh," I cooed, as I took his temperature and of course he did have a fever 100.2.

I paced around the room thinking about what to do when Lori and Josh walked through the front door.

"Hey Kyle," Josh said, hanging up his jacket

"Kyle what's wrong with Brice?" Lori asked, before saying 'hi'

"He has a fever." I informed her and both her and Josh came over to check on him.

"Aw poor thing," Lori said, stroking his blond hair.

"Feel better champ." Josh mumbled, before running up the stairs.

Lori rolled her eyes at the little compassion Josh seemed to show.

"Did you call mom?" She asked

"No, I think I can handle him." I stroked his hair "He is my son."

"Well if you need anything I'll be in my room." She offered, hanging up her coat "By the way mom always gave Josh and me baths when we weren't feeling well." She added, heading up to her room.

I searched online and read a couple articles on how to bring down a fever. Most of them said to give your child baby Tylenol, keep them hydrated, and make them comfortable.

I repositioned Brice on my hip and went up stairs to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and got the baby Tylenol.

"Okay Brice, this will make you feel better, alright?" I assured him, giving him the medicine.

He took the medicine and I chose to take Lori's advice on giving him a bath to help him relax.

I ran the bath water and made sure it wasn't too hot but it wasn't too cold either. Then I slipped Brice out of his pajamas and into the bath tub.

I held him in the tub and poured small one handed cups of warm water over him. He seemed to like the warm water. After a while of soaking in the tub I figured he had, had an enough of the bath so I snatched the big fluffy yellow towel off the rail and wrapped him in it.

I brought him back down stairs and changed him into a fresh set of pajamas. I got him a Sippy cup with apple juice in it to keep him hydrated. I took him back to the living room and sat down on the couch and wrapped him in his blanket and held his cup for him. He finished drinking his juice so I just held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep.

"Shhh, shhhh." I would occasionally say to sooth him.

After a while his eye lids began to droop but he wasn't giving in to sleep yet. I watched him; he had grown so much in the past few months. His blond hair was starting to curl at the ends now. He was learning how to talk, he knew how to walk. I just couldn't believe how truly fast he was growing up. I have started to savor every moment of him being little, because I know he won't be my little boy for long. Like now this was the first time he has ever been sick.

I was so lost in thought I didn't realize he had fallen asleep; I softly kissed his forehead and continued watching him sleep.

Stephen and Nicole came home not long after Brice had fallen asleep. I put him down in his crib and kept the door a little open so I could hear him better. When I walked into the kitchen to tell Nicole about Brice it seemed Lori had beaten me to it.

"Kyle, why didn't you call me and tell me Brice had fever? Stephen and I would have come home and helped you." Nicole told me in her worried motherly tone.

"I didn't want to ruin your evening besides I handled it fine. I gave him baby Tylenol to bring the fever down. I gave him apple juice to keep him hydrated, and I gave him a bath to make him comfortable." I informed her.

"Well I guess you didn't need us." Stephen said, a little shocked

"Nope" I gloated, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.

"Well I'm just going to go check on him, I hate that he isn't feeling well." Nicole left.

"Mom worries too much." Lori said, taking a seat at the counter "I mean you should have seen it, Kyle, was like super dad!"

"It's her grandson of course she is going to worry." Stephen pointed out, taking a sip from his coffee.

After a while of talking everyone went to bed. I got changed into my blue and white pin stripped pajama pants and a light grey t-shirt. Before I got into bed I checked my email. I had one new message from an unknown sender. I clicked on the email and read it.

_Kyle,_

_I'm sorry I left the way I did. I know you don't understand why I left but I hope one day you can forgive me._

_-J_

I read the email over and over again. The email had to be from Jessi she was the only possible person. I tried to track the email but it only led to a coffee shop in Chicago. So she was in Chicago, why Chicago?

I glance over at my sleeping son. He was my priority not Jessi. My life was finally some what 'normal'. I decided not to reply to Jessi's email because I was happy with my life and she seemed to have found a new life. So why try and fix something that isn't broken? If Jessi wants to contact me she can but I want to keep my distance from the fire.

I turned off my desk lamp and my computer as well. I walk over to Brice's crib and tucked his blanket around him and brushed a few stray hairs out of his face.

"I love you." I whispered, and softly kissed his cheek then climbed into bed.

That night was the first night in a long time that I didn't have my recurring nightmare. Instead I dreamt of my future. I was playing basketball with my son and he couldn't have been more than seven.

**AN: Okay so I know this seems like Jessi is out of the story for good but don't worry she isn't! I just want to keep her as a character that is either mentioned or shows up randomly through out my story. And remember when I started this fanfic (I think I mentioned it once or twice but if I didn't I am now) Brice is Kyle's main focus.**

**Thank you for reading please comment!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

Unexpected

(Kyle POV)

**This takes place about two weeks after the last chapter**

I scanned the room of the small coffee shop. I was meeting a new kid for me to tutor here but he hadn't shown up yet. I glanced at the clock on my phone; our session would have ended eight minutes ago.

I sighed and looked into my half empty coffee cup, he wasn't coming. I was about to get up and leave when a woman at the register caught my eye. From the side she looked very familiar, she had loose curly dark brown hair. She turned her head and that's when I realized why I recognized this woman. She was the mother of my son. Gretchen Denver.

I watched her pay for her drink then wait for the barista to finish making it. She hadn't noticed me yet which was good because I was afraid that if she did she would leave.

I debated if I should go talk to her. If I did what would I say? I mean it's not everyday that you run into the woman who abandoned her son and left him with you.

"You've been staring." I wasn't even aware of the fact that she had taken the seat across from me at my table.

"Yeah, I guess I have." I admitted.

"Kyle, what are you doing here?" She asked, she seemed very tense.

"I guess I could ask you the same question." I paused "Gretchen-"

"Kyle, don't" she cut me off.

"Gretchen, I think I deserve a few answers here."

She was quiet for a moment.

"Do you remember Brice?" I almost spat and she winced at the sound of his name then glared at me.

"Kyle," She warned

"No, Gretchen!" I could hear the anger slipping in my voice. "You don't get to do this. I took him in." I reminded her. "You've got to give me some answers." I said more calmly.

She looked down at her drink "I left Brice, with you to keep him safe."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

She kept from making eye contact with me but I could tell tears were forming in her eyes.

She spoke very softly "I was engaged to a man named, Alexander Bennet," She started "He was wonderful to me…until…until his mother, Ann, died from cancer." She paused "Alex became very depressed after Ann, died. Not even his father, Peter, could help him. After a while things got worse… he… he…" I reached across the table and caringly took her hand.

"He would get drunk and when he did he became someone I didn't know. He would hit… me." I tightened my grip on her hand and I felt my jaw clench. "When I found out I was pregnant with Brice I knew it was unsafe to bring a child into that kind of environment. So when I met you that day I was actually leaving Alex." She said, finally making eye contact with me.

"I'm so sorry Gretchen if I had known…" I trailed off there was nothing I really could say.

"Kyle I don't want your pity. All I want is for you to keep Brice safe and away from Alex that's why I left him with you. But it's only a matter of time before Alex tracks you guy's down-"

"Gretchen I won't let him get anywhere near Brice." I cut her off.

"Good." She smiled but it didn't meet her eyes.

I reached into the back pocket of my jeans and pulled out my wallet and took out the most resent picture I had of Brice and handed it to her.

It was a black and white picture Lori had taken of him and me one afternoon in the living room. We were both sitting on the floor, I was holding him on my lap and we were playing with his blocks neither one of us looking at the camera.

She took the picture and ran her finger over Brice; she had tears in her eyes.

"Thank you, Kyle" She said not taking her eye off the picture.

"You can keep that." I said standing up. "I've got to go he's probably driving his uncle insane." I chuckled.

She smiled and looked up at me "Kyle, please let him know that I love him." She said standing up from the table.

I engulfed her in a hug and whispered "I will." Then I left.

I got in my car and drove home. My mind was still trying to take in everything Gretchen had told me about Alexander Bennet. A part of me wanted to track him down and rip him apart, but another part of me wanted to go home and hold Brice in my arms and hide him from Alex forever.

As soon as I got home Declan informed me that Brice was taking a nap and Nicole just got home a few minutes ago. He had to leave though because he had a doctor's appointment for his ankle.

I found Nicole in her office going over some of her notes. The door was open but I knocked anyway.

"Oh Kyle I didn't hear you come in." She said looking up from her papers.

"Oh I'm sorry if you're busy I can just-"

"No Kyle don't worry about it is fine, have a seat." She hesitated "Is everything okay?"

"Not really," I told her sitting down on one of the chairs across from her desk.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm just trying to process it myself." I said playing with my hands.

"Did anything bad happen?" She asked

"Kind of, I ran into Gretchen today." I said stealing a glance at Nicole. She seemed shocked but she just nodded for me to continue.

"We talked for about an hour, and I got her to tell me why she left Brice with me." I paused collecting my thoughts "She was in a really abusive relationship with this guy, Alexander Bennet, and when she became pregnant with Brice she decided she didn't want to put a child through what she had been through so she left Alex."

"What are you thinking about all this?" She asked

"I'm relieved that I finally know why Gretchen left Brice, but it makes me…nervous I guess that there is yet another person out there that can harm my family." I struggled to find the right words.

"Well Kyle, all you can really do is be aware of the fact that Alex is out there, but you can't let that rule your life. Brice is almost a year old and so far Alex hasn't wanted to be a part of his life, but if the day comes that he does, just be ready to fight for Brice. We all will." By this point she had moved to the seat next to me and had lovingly placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Nicole." I said and she wrapped me in one of her famous motherly hugs.

After I was done talking to Nicole I could hear Brice starting to walk up from his nap. I quietly walk over to his crib and sure enough he was just laying there just waking up. I picked him up and he rested his head on my shoulder. I swayed from side to side rubbing small circles on his back.

"Dada." He mumbled into my shoulder

"No matter what happens, Brice, Daddy will always love you." I assured him as I held him a little tighter and kissed his head. "Always," I whispered.

**AN: Hope everyone likes the new chapter! Please comment!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

Alexander Bennet

"Drifting Further Away"- Powderfinger

(Kyle POV)

I read through article after article online trying to find any new information on Alexander Bennet, which wasn't much. What I had found though, was that he was born in Anchorage, Alaska, his father, Peter was a doctor and his mother, Ann was a first grade school teacher. Alex joined the military after high-school and was discharged for unknown reasons.

I sighed and threw my pen at the desk in frustration and I held my head in my hands. I was frustrated because I felt like a failure. I was a failure to Brice because I couldn't protect him; I was a failure to Gretchen for breaking my promise. But most of all I was a failure to myself for letting all this happen.

**FLASHBACK:**

_**The white envelope sat on the counter and I couldn't bring myself to open it. The thing that bothered me about the envelope was the return address 'A. Bennet'. This was the one thing that I had been worried about for weeks, and the one thing Gretchen had warned me about. **_

_**I took a deep breath collecting my thoughts and reached for the letter. My hands shook as I opened it and read the letter aloud to my family that surrounded me in the kitchen. I looked at each one of them as I read; Stephen had his arms folded across his chest.**_

_Dear Mr. Kyle Adam Trager,_

_It has been brought to the attention of myself and my client Alexander Bennet, that you are the adoptive father of Mr. Bennet's biological son Brice Kyle Trager._

_**Josh clenched his jaw.**_

___Mr. Bennet has started the legal process to obtain custody of his son._

_**Lori had tears falling from her eyes.**_

___I have arranged for a court hearing to sort out this dispute._

_**Nicole was fighting tears trying to be strong.**_

___The court date is August 4__th__, 2009._

_Sincerely,_

_Nicolas T. Marks_

_**I finished reading the letter and no one said a word. I looked at Brice –in Nicole's arms- last and I almost broke down right then and there. I loved him so much yet I was losing him. **_

**END OF FLASHBACK:**

"Kyle, Mr. Grant is here." Stephen said knocking on my open door.

"I'll be right there." I muttered over my shoulder not looking at Stephen.

I gathered my things and turned to leave. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Brice sleeping in his crib. It brought tears to my eyes to think that after tomorrow he could possible not be in my life any more. No. I was going to fight for Brice, no matter what happened tomorrow.

I found Mr. Grant in Nicole's office talking to Stephen and Nicole.

"Mr. Grant, it's good to see you." I greeted entering the office.

He stood and shook my hand "Ah Kyle, how many times do I have to tell you, please call me Levi." He chuckled.

"I know, I'm sorry Levi," I replied trying to match his tone but I failed miserably.

I sat down in one of the chairs across from Nicole's desk were she was seated and immediately we got to work.

"As I was just telling your parents here, I was able to track down and email address of Peter Bennet. I have yet to receive a reply but if he is willing to testify against his son in order to keep his grandchild safe than that would help us a great deal." Levi explained as we looked over our information.

"And what makes you think he will?" Stephen doubted.

"Well from the story Gretchen, told Kyle, I think he wants to help his son and if his son is still an abusive person, Peter seems like the kind of person that will want to protect his grandson in order to help his son realize the kind of person he really is." Levi said rolling up the sleeves on his button up white dress shirt.

We spent the next few hours going over information and preparing for tomorrow. Then around 10 p.m. we decided to call it a night and Levi went home.

I quietly crept into my room and over to Brice's crib. I rested my forearms on the edge of the crib. He looked so peaceful when he slept. I tried to memorize everything about him. His little laugh, the way he says 'Dada', and how I just want to hold him and never let him go. I let a few tears fall from my sleep deprived eyes and roll down my stubbly cheeks. I smiled sadly down at him and I couldn't help but go through all the memories I had with him. His first words, when he spit up on Josh, his first steps, the stormy nights he spent in my arms, and when I first heard him giggle. They were just few of the many moments I had with him and I didn't want those memories to be all I had left of him after tomorrow.

I softly reached out and brushed a few hairs out of his face, and pulled the green knit blanket closer to his chin.

I smoothed back his hair and kissed his soft forehead. "Daddy will always love you." I whispered.

**AN: Okay so I know that this is a short chapter but it is just the start of a LOT of drama. By the way I'm not really up to date on all the legal terms so please forgive me if I word something wrong.**

**As you may have noticed I put a song title at the top of the chapter by the usual information. I am going to try to start putting a song title there that I think would fit well with the chapter. I am going to leave up to you to figure out where the song should start playing and where it would fade in and out and things like that.**

**If you have read all this AN than thank you! Please comment and thank you for reading the new chapter I hope you enjoyed it!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10

Heartstrings

"Yesterday"- The Beatles

Kyle (POV)

I played with the light grey collar of my button up shirt that peeked out from under my black v-neck sweater.

I glanced over and noticed that Amanda was quietly standing in the doorway of my room. "Hey." I muttered acknowledging her with a fait smile.

"Hey," she replied with a similar tone. "You look great." She complimented me giving me a light kiss on the lips.

"You do too!" I said noticing her dark blue blouse and black dress pants.

I picked up Brice and slung his bag over my shoulder. I took Amanda's hand and was going to lead her out of my room when she stopped me.

"Kyle, wait!" She said and I turned to face her making eye contact this time. "I know you're nervous about today, I am too…" She admitted "But just know that whatever happens today I still love you."

I took her cheek in my free hand and kissed her gently on her forehead. "Thank you." I whispered "I love you too!"

I took her hand again and led her to the hallway were the Tragers were gathered all dressed up waiting for us.

Nicole and Lori looked to be on the verge of tears once they saw Brice. Stephen had a saddened pained look on his face, and Josh seemed to be concealing all his anger that I could feel radiating off of him.

"Are we ready?" Stephen finally asked breaking the depressing silence.

I nodded and we left the house heading to the court house. The thing that worried me was if we would be coming home with Brice.

My family sat behind me on the wooden benches as I took my seat next to Mr. Grant.

"Hello Kyle," Levi greeted me

"Hello Levi," I sighed

After a few moments the one person I never wanted to see, entered the courtroom, with his lawyer following closely in tow. Alexander Bennet, he wore a black suit and had his blond hair parted. Just from looking at him I didn't get a good feeling from this guy. The minute he sat down he began whispering with his lawyer.

I glanced back at my family and the people who were going to testify on my behalf. Stephen sat with Brice on his lap, holding Nicole's hand. Declan sat next to Lori consoling her by keeping his arm around her. Amanda was between Lori and Josh; she gave me a reassuring smile which I tried to return. I noticed Brice's pediatrician, Dr. Carmichael, sitting a few rows behind my family, I also noticed Mrs. Austin an elderly woman who watched Brice at the daycare was also there.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Osler!" the bailiff announced as an older man in a black rob entered the courtroom.

"Be seated!" Judge Osler commanded taking his seat at the judge's bench.

"I call to order the trail of Alexander Bennet vs. Kyle Trager!" Judge Osler broadcasted to the courtroom.

"Mr. Marks, will you bring your first witness to the stand please?"

"Yes your honor," Mr. Marks, Alex's lawyer replied, bring Alex to the stand

"Mr. Bennet, would you please explain your relation to the child Brice Kyle Trager?" Mr. Marks questioned.

Alex cleared his throat before he spoke "Yes, he's my son."

"And how did you become aware of the fact that he was your son?" Mr. Marks inquired.

"Ah his mother left me a message on my cell phone." Alex answered leaning forward.

Mr. Marks continued asking questions until it was Levi's turn to question Alex. I watched as Alex fidgeted in his seat and not make eye contact with anyone but his lawyer.

"Mr. Bennet would you please explain your relationship to Gretchen Denver?" Levi probed.

"Well ah," Alex stuttered. "Gretchen Denver was my former fiancé and my son's mother."

"Why would Ms. Denver feel the need to keep you away from your son?" Levi asked as he paced back and forth.

Alex's eyes darted back and forth from his lawyer to Levi nervously "Gretchen, was…" Alex played with his hands "Gretchen was a very troubled person."

"How so?" Levi questioned

"Objection!" Mr. Marks called

Judge Osler nodded agreeing with Mr. Marks so Levi withdrew his question and ended questioning Alex.

After Mr. Marks questioned Alex's landlord who had seen Gretchen and him together and told the courtroom about how a wonderful couple they were it was Levi's turn to bring up witnesses.

"Mr. Trager would you explain to the court how you knew Gretchen Denver." Levi asked

"I delivered her baby." I paused "And now I'm the adoptive father of her child Brice Kyle Trager."

"How long has Brice been under your care?"

"10 months." I stated

Levi continued with his questions then he turned me over to Mr. Marks.

"Mr. Trager why would you want the responsibility of raising a child, when you are so young yourself?" Mr. Marks asked.

I thought about my answer for a moment "I may be young but I know what's right."

"What do you mean?"

"Brice was left in my care so he is my responsibility and I take care of my responsibilities." I gave a quick and unnoticeable glare at Alex.

"How can you deny a child the right to their father?" Mr. Marks questioned.

"I'm not, I am Brice's father." I said peeking over at Brice.

"Not according to the DNA test." Mr. Marks stated.

"I may not be blood related to him but I'm the one who taught him how to walk, I'm the one who holds him when he cries, I'm the one who has always been there." I hear anger rising in my voice "And I'm the one he calls 'Dada'."

Mr. Marks was shocked "No more further questions." He stammered.

Then Levi brought up Stephen and quickly questioned him.

Stephen (POV)

I handed Brice over to Nicole and walked up to the witness stand and took my seat.

"Mr. Trager how is Kyle's relationship with Brice?" Mr. Grant asked.

I chuckled "Brice adores Kyle, whenever Kyle walks into a room Brice's face lights up instantly, if you're holding him from arms length away from Kyle, Brice will reach out to him." I smiled at the thought.

Mr. Grant continued with his questions and when he finished Mr. Marks had no questions for me so I left the stand.

Nicole (POV)

Mr. Grant brought me to the stand next.

"Mrs. Trager how do you think Kyle handles the emotional strain of being a father?"

"I've always been one to worry about Kyle, and how taking care of Brice, affects him." I smirked at Kyle "But taking care of Brice, doesn't seem to be affecting Kyle, in any negative way. He still manages to go to school, work, and make time for his friends and family."

After a few more questions it was Mr. Marks turn to question me.

"Mrs. Trager, you're a psychologist right?" I didn't know where he was going with this.

"Yes"

"And Kyle was one of your patients right?"

"Objection!" Mr. Grant called standing up in a sort of rage.

"Mr. Marks relevance." Judge Osler reminded him, ruling in the favor of Mr. Grant.

"No more further questions."

Lori (POV)

Mr. Grant quickly asked me a few questions then Mr. Marks said he had no questions for me. So I took my seat next to Declan and he put his arm back around me.

"You did good." He whispered in my ear.

Josh (POV)

I slowly made my way up to the witness stand and answered the few questions Mr. Grant asked me. Basically they were questions about Kyle's parenting skills. He finished with his questions and like Mr. Marks had done with Lori, and Dad he didn't ask me anything.

Kyle (POV)

I sat and watched as each of my family members were questioned, then Levi brought up some people that weren't related to me so they didn't have a biased opinion. First he brought up Dr. Carmichael.

"Dr. Carmichael, Brice, is one of you patients right?" Levi asked

"Yes." Dr. Carmichael stated.

"And as a physician how do you think Kyle, is as a parent?"

"I have seen many young parents come into my office, but none of them treat their children with the caring, compassion, and concern that Kyle does." Dr. Carmichael folded his hands in his lap.

Mr. Marks asked him a few questions, and then Levi brought Mrs. Austin up to the stand.

"Mrs. Austin, do you think it is in the best interest of the child to have been left with Mr. Trager?" Levi questioned.

"I believe that Kyle is the best person that Brice, could have been left with." She paused "He cares so much for little Brice it's quiet endearing." Mrs. Austin gushed.

Mr. Marks didn't have any questions for Mrs. Austin so she went back to sit by my family and Dr. Carmichael.

Then the moment of truth occurred and we awaited Judge Osler's verdict.

He came back from his chambers and announced his verdict.

"I believe it is in the best interest of the child that he spends one week with Alexander Bennet, with supervision and we will resume on the 11th of August to determine the custody of the child." I could hear the words flowing out of Judge Osler's mouth but I didn't believe them.

"Mr. Trager you and your family may have a moment to say goodbye to Brice but then you have to turn him over to Mr. Bennet." Judge Osler ordered me.

"Yes, your honor." I choked out.

"Don't worry Kyle, we won't let him keep Brice, you're his father." I could hear Levi assure me but I kept my eyes on Brice and made my way to my family.

I was fighting with myself to hold it together I had to be strong. I felt Amanda wrap her tiny arms around me and I buried my face in her golden hair.

"It's going to be okay." She whispered releasing me.

I clenched my jaw and nodded not looking her in the eye. My family consoled me and said their goodbyes to Brice. Then I had to do one of the worst things I have ever had to do.

Brice was sitting on the bench; his feet didn't even hang over the edge. I knelt down in front of him.

"Dada!" he giggled. He had no idea what was about to happen to him.

"Hey there buddy." I said forcing a smile "You're going to be going away for awhile okay." I choked out trying to explain to him.

He just looked at me and his smile disappeared as if he knew something was wrong.

"Brice, I'm going to fight to get you back so I'm not going to say goodbye, in one week you'll be back in my arms where you belong." I fought with myself to not break down.

"Dada." He whispered. I scooped and he relaxed a little in my embrace. I held him trying to memorize his sent and the way he felt in my arms.

"Everything's going to be okay, alright buddy?" I whispered into his hair and I could feel a few of his tears dampening my sweater.

Levi followed next to me as I walked over to Alex and his lawyer. I adjusted Brice so he could have one last look at his family. Declan had Lori in his arms, Josh was balling up his fists, Stephen was holding Nicole, and Amanda had a few tears in her eyes. But each of them tried to give Brice one last smile.

I looked down at Brice in my arms and he looked up at me. "Daddy will always love you." I told him. "Always,"

I squeezed him tight then handed him off to Alex. The minute Brice was in Alex's arms I could tell Brice didn't like it he started squirming and reaching out to me.

"Dada! Dada!" He cried and I wanted nothing more then to hold him.

"You'll be okay Brice! Daddy loves you." I called to him as Alex and his lawyer walked out of the courtroom.

We had picked up Chinese food for dinner but I didn't feel like eating so I walked Amanda home and went strait to my room.

I began to feel like I was suffocating, so I ripped off my sweater and tore open the top buttons of my shirt and the cuffs of my sleeves.

My eyes locked on a picture of Brice and I that I had on my desk. It was the one of Brice and me sleeping on the couch. I picked up the picture frame and my knees buckled beneath me. I wrapped one arm around my rib cage as if to hold myself together. My vision became blurred with tears and my body shook with silent sobs.

He was gone. My son was gone.

**AN: Okay so I hope you like this chapter it is my longest chapter so far! (2,188 words) Like I said a LOT of drama! Anyway please comment!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11

Clock That Never Ticks

"Clair de lune" – Debussy

_*Side note: the song really only fits for Kyle's pov*_

Kyle (POV)

I laid on top of my sheets staring at the ceiling. My door was shut but I could hear my family whispering behind it. I knew they meant well but I just wanted to be left alone. I closed my blood shot eyes and tried to block out the rest of the world that didn't consist of the four walls around me.

Brice had been gone for a total of 48 hours now and I missed him every second. I was a mess without him. I hadn't shaved, changed my clothes, I had barely eating anything, and sleep was just out of the question.

After a few hours I felt my bed shift and I realized Amanda was crawling into bed with me. She propped her head up with her hand and lovingly stroked through my messy hair with her other hand. We didn't say a word I just snaked my arms around her waist and held her. If you thought about it I wasn't the only one who lost a child, over the past few months Amanda had become the mother figure in Brice's life.

We just laid there in each others arms for a while. She would occasionally run her hand across my stubbly cheek and when her hand would near my lips I would softly kiss it.

"You look horrible." She teased trying to lighten the mood.

I laughed softly. The sound felt weird in my chest, I couldn't remember the last time I laughed.

I gave her a sad smile "Thanks" I chuckled slightly. I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and then on her lips.

Alex (POV)

The kid wouldn't stop crying from the minute I brought the little brat home. I grabbed a beer from the fridge chugging it down, slamming the empty bottle on the counter. If I was going to get through having to act like the worlds greatest dad for the next two hours for the inspection lady then I wasn't going to be sober.

I grabbed some old cereal from the cupboard. "Here." I muttered sliding a bowl of dry cereal across the counter to him.

"Okay so this is how it's gonna go down kid." I said popping the cap off another beer bottle. "For the next two hours you're gonna shut up and be daddy's little angle okay?"

The intercom buzzed so I chugged the rest of my beer then threw the two empty bottles in the trash.

"Alexander Bennet" I call over the intercom.

"Mr. Bennet, this is Mrs. Schwartz, from child services I'm here for your inspection."

I quickly buttoned up my shirt and fixed my hair. "Ah yes, yes come on up!"

Within minutes I could hear a pair of heals clicking down the hallway outside my apartment door. I quickly grabbed the kid and rested him on my hip. He fussed a little but to my luck the brat didn't cry.

"Ah Mrs. Schwartz," I charmed opening the door. "It's so good to see you!"

"Hello Mr. Bennet, how are you today?" She asked

"Good thank you." I replied leading her into the living room.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked placing the kid in the play pen Nick had brought over for him.

"No thank you."

"Are you sure, a beautiful woman like yourself, I would be more than happy to get you anything you wanted." I flirted trying to win her over.

She blushed and took out a note pad from her brief case. "Lets get started shall we?"

"Anything you want beautiful," she blushed again.

She asked me a lot of questions that Nick had prepared me for and I was able to answer them perfectly.

"Well Alex, it seems to me that you have all the right accommodations for raising your son." She was trying so hard to keep it professional.

"But if you ever need anything here's my cell number." She flirted writing down her number on the back of her business card and handed it to me.

"Well thank you darling," I winked and folded the paper between my fingers.

I walked her to the door leading her with my hand on the small of her back.

"Oh thank God!" I sighed and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

**AN: I know this chapter is very, very short but I didn't want to drag this in between chapter on forever. I wanted to focus on the court chapters. **

**  
I just wanted to let you guys know that I put some pictures up on my profile for people I think would play the role of the characters I've added to the story. So please check that out and tell me what you think.**

**Anyway I hope you liked this chapter. Please comment!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

Fate

"Off I Go" –Greg Laswell

My body shook with rage and sorrow when the judge told the court his verdict. Brice was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I could feel Amanda wrap her arms around my trembling body and call my name. It wasn't until then that I awoke on the couch, in the living room, gasping for air.

"You're okay." Amanda assured, trying to calm me down by rubbing small circles on my back "It was only a nightmare, its okay."

I sighed holding my head in my hands "I can't lose him."

"I know," she said taking my hand and running her thumb over my knuckles.

I wrapped my free arm around her and gave her a peck on her cheek. "We should get going; we have to pick up Josh and Lori on our way to the court house."

"What about Stephen and Nicole?" She asked, following me to the door.

"We're meeting them there." I stated, glancing over at her. She seemed to be worried and I knew that the cause her nerves were from the court hearing.

"Hey listen," I said, lifting her chin up, and embracing her in a one armed hug. "Everything is going to be fine, don't worry. Alright?"

She nodded and I softly kissed her. Then I weaved my hand around hers and led her out to my car.

After picking up Josh and Lori we met up with Stephen, Nicole and Declan at the courthouse. The minute we were out of the car Lori went straight to Declan's arms.

"I thought you couldn't make it." I said

"You think I would miss such and important date in my best friend's and my nephew's life." Declan said more as a statement rather then a question.

"I'm glad you could make it." I muttered as we gave each other a man hug.

"No problem man." He said patting me on the back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

I let my family go into the courtroom with out me. I just needed a minute to collect my thoughts before I went in there. I found a bench a few feet away from the door. Sitting down I rested my elbows on my knees holding my head in my hands.

"You seem troubled my boy." An older man said, sitting next to me.

"Just a lot at stake," I muttered not looking at the man.

"Family?" he guessed.

"Yeah," I mumbled "my son,"

"Well then if it's in fate's hands for you and your son then everything will work out." He assured me "Now go fight for your son."

I nodded and thanked the old man and did as he told. I marched into the court room and took my seat next to Levi.

"Good to see you Kyle," Levi greeted me.

"You to Levi," I responded fixing my suit coat.

Moments later the most heart wrenching cry filled the courtroom.

"Dada! Dada!" It was my little boy.

I went to stand but Levi stopped me.

"You can't go over there." He reminded me grasping my forearm.

I was torn, my eyes focused on Brice and all I wanted to do was hold him and make his cries stop.

In the course of my dilemma the bailiff ordered the court to rise and Judge Osler entered the courtroom and commanded everyone to be seated.

Mr. Marks, Alex's lawyer, called Ms. Schwartz to the stand.

"Ms. Schwartz, please explain to the court what you observed while the child was in the care of my client." Mr. Marks ordered.

"Mr. Bennet had all the right accommodations for the child and he was very attentive to the child's needs."

I could tell she was lying; when ever she looked at Mr. Marks her heart rate increased and when she glanced at Alex her eyes would fill with lust.

Then Levi questioned her and she continued to be dishonest. After Levi was finished Mr. Marks brought up Alex and had him explain what it was like to take care of Brice. He also was being deceitful with his answers.

Mr. Marks brought up a few more people that had witnessed how Alex cared for Brice in the past week.

I didn't look back, but I could hear the courtroom doors open and someone shuffle about taking their seat.

Now it was Levi's turn to bring up witnesses. He brought up someone I didn't know but I recognized.

"Mr. Bennet will you please tell the court your relationship to Alexander Bennet, and his biological son Brice Kyle Trager?" Levi asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched Alex's jaw drop.

"I am Alex's Father, and Brice's Grandfather."

That's when I recognized the older man; he was the man who I had talked to outside the courtroom.

"And would you please inform the court why the child's biological mother left Mr. Bennet?" Levi questioned.

He sighed as if he was ashamed "Yes, my son, Alex would get very drunk and beat Gretchen to the point were she had bad deep cuts and had been very badly bruised."

Then Levi turned to a projector and brought up a few images.

"If you will all turn your attention to the projector you will see evidence of the beatings Ms. Denver received from Alexander Bennet."

Gasps filled the room as more and more images where shown.

"Mr. Grant, please continue with your questioning I think we've all seen enough." Judge Osler finally stepped in.

"Yes your honor."

"Now why did your son feel the need to do this?" Levi pondered.

"Objection! Your honor relevance!" Mr. Marks almost shouted.

"Mr. Grant," Judge Osler warned.

"Alright, Mr. Bennet isn't it true that you tried to help your son?" Levi changed his question.

"Yes but he only got worse, so when Gretchen told me she was pregnant I helped her get away from Alex." He said looking down at his hands.

"No further questions your honor." Levi confidently took his seat next to me.

Mr. Marks asked a few pointless questions, and then Judge Osler resided to his chambers to decide his verdict.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Osler!" The bailiff ordered once again.

"Be seated!" Judge Osler commanded.

"From all the evidence that has been presented in this case I believe it is in the best interest of the child that he stays in the custody of his…." He paused looking at both Alex and I.

"Adoptive father Kyle Adam Trager." Judge Osler informed trying to stay professional but a small smile escaped his lips.

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened and slowly I could feel my mouth form a grin. Immediately I went straight to Brice and scooped him up in my arms and he clung to me.

"Daddy missed you so much Brice." I muttered into his hair.

"Dada!" he whispered into my shoulder.

I took Brice over to his family where everyone was overjoyed to have him back. I saw smiles I hadn't seen in a very long time return.

I left Brice with my family so I could talk to Mr. Bennet **(not Alex)**

"I just wanted to thank you." I said shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Kyle, it's not a problem." He paused "Kyle, my son is a very troubled man and if Brice were to be left in his care I worry about Brice's safety."

"I know but it still couldn't have been easy for you." I replied.

"You'll learn that what is best for your child isn't always the easiest thing to do." He said looking me right in the eye.

"Mr. Bennet-"

"Peter," he cut me off.

"Peter, I would understand if you wanted to be apart of Brice's life. I wouldn't stop you." I assured him.

He smiled. "Thank you Kyle I would love that very much."

We quickly exchanged information and I went back to my family.

"We should celebrate!" Josh cheered, as I wrapped my arm around Amanda who had Brice in her arms.

We all went out to dinner to celebrate Brice being back in our lives. I couldn't explain how happy I felt in that moment to finally have my son back. My life felt whole again.

**AN: Okay so I posted a picture, of what I think Peter should look like, on my profile. Tell me what you guys think. Thank you for reading and please comment!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13

1 year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days

"Photograph"- Nickelback

Amanda (POV)

I slung my purse over my shoulder and grabbed the box, wrapped in blue and green stripped wrapping paper, off the table in the hall way.

"Amanda!" My mom called poking her head in the hall. "Where are you going?"

"Over to Kyle's, its Brice's birthday today." I reminded her.

"Amanda, you know I don't approve of that boy. And now that he has a child-"

I cut her off "Mom, we've been over this. Kyle adopted Brice because Kyle was all Brice had."

She didn't say anything she just folded her arms across her chest.

"You should give Kyle the benefit of the doubt, not many 18 year old guys would take on that kind of responsibility."

"Amanda how many times has that boy hurt you? Yet you continue to welcome him back with open arms." She huffed.

I sighed _this would be so much easier if she knew the truth _I thought.

"I'm not going to do this again Mom, Kyle has explained himself to me and I accept that. He shouldn't have to explain himself to you, when I already have been over this with you." I told her keeping my voice calm.

I turned to the door. "I'll be back for dinner." I said over my shoulder as I left the house.

Kyle (POV)

"Hey Birthday Boy!" I called to Brice as I made my way into the kitchen with an arm full of groceries. "Helping Grandma make a cake?"

"Daddy!" I ruffled his hair; his cheeks were covered in flower.

"Did you get all the stuff for the party?" Nicole asked poking around in the bags.

"Yes I did."

"How many kids from day care are coming to the party again?" She questioned.

"Well there's; Jared, Kevin, Hailey, and Hannah."

"Okay, everyone should be here at 3, so why don't you go get him cleaned up?" Nicole suggested.

"Alright, come on Buddy," I said scooping him up with one arm, and carrying him up stairs.

He was starting to put a few sentences together and as we walked he was babbling on about today.

I got him all cleaned up and took him out back where Lori, Declan, and Josh were setting up.

"Wow, it looks great you guys thank you." I thanked them, looking around at all the decorations they had set up. There were balloons, streamers, and over the door hung a banner that said 'Happy Birthday'.

"No big deal," Josh said his voice high pitched from inhaling helium.

"Josh that's for the balloons not for you!" Lori scolded, slapping him on the back of his head.

"Ow," He whined his voice still affected from the helium.

"Hey Birthday Boy!" Declan cheered taking Brice from my hands.

"Would you keep an eye on him I've got to go take care of his pre-"

"Not a problem, it's all covered!" Lori cut me off not wanting me to finish my sentence.

I walked back into the house through the kitchen sliding door.

"Stephen! That's for the cake not you!" Nicole scolded, hitting Stephen's hand with her wooden spoon.

"I was only tasting," I could hear him come up with an excuse as I left the kitchen and headed to my room.

I found the present I had been working on with the help of Lori, Nicole, and Amanda and I attempted to wrap it.

"Hey Kyle," I turned and saw Amanda making her way to me.

"Hey!" I mumbled through a kiss.

"Uhm…" she started glancing down at my attempt to wrap a gift. "Need some help?" she giggled.

"I thought I did pretty well." I joked.

"Here it helps if you don't have so much paper." She said, undoing my mess.

A little after three Brice's friends from day care started to arrive. Everyone had migrated to the back yard and the kids ran around playing a game they had made up.

Lori was going around taking pictures of everything.

I glance over everyone to the end of the drive way and saw Peter walking up.

"Peter!" I called extending my hand. "I'm glad you could make it!"

"I am too! Thank you for having me." He shook my hand.

"Well there's plenty of food just go ahead and help yourself." I told him leading him to the deck where the adults seemed to gather.

After a while Nicole tapped me on my shoulder. "How about we do cake?"

"Okay, let me just go get Brice and the rest of the kids." I told her.

I found Brice playing with his friends.

"Hey buddy," I said kneeling beside him.

"Daddy!" he cheered.

"You want cake?" I asked knowing the answer already.

"Yeah!" His eye's lit up.

I held his hand and gathered the other kids around the table that had been set up on the deck.

I knelt down next to Brice where he sat at the head of the table. Nicole brought a chocolate cake with a giant one candle on it out and led everyone in singing 'happy birthday'. Amanda stood behind me with her hands gently placed on my shoulders. Lori was snapping pictures every second.

"Make a wish Brice." I told him, just like the Tragers had told me the day Lori shared her birthday with me.

He giggled and blew out his candle.

"Yay!" everyone cheered and clapped.

After we ate cake Brice opened the gifts from his friends and shortly after that they left. It was just family now so we went inside to the living room and watched as Brice opened his gifts from the family.

He sat on my lap and Nicole handed him a present wrapped in red wrapping paper.

"Okay Buddy this is from Grandma and Grandpa." I told him as Amanda and I helped him open the present.

It was a teddy bear and a new green knit blanket that Nicole had made for him.

"Can you say thank you Brice?" Amanda reminded him.

"Thank you!" he giggled and went on to his next gift.

Lori gave him a toy guitar, Declan gave him a basketball, Josh gave him a toy fire truck, and Amanda had given him a framed picture of the three of us.

"This is from Gretchen and me." Peter said, and Brice a small box.

It was a necklace with a pendent on it.

"Just something to remember us by," Peter said.

"Thank you, Peter." I said for Brice this time.

Now came my turn to give him his present.

"Brice, this is from Daddy." I told him and helped him un-wrap it.

It was a photo album that started from the time he became apart of my life until now. I flipped through it and let him look at all the photos.

"Me?" He asked pointing to the picture of him when he was 4 months old sleeping in his crib.

"Yeah buddy, that's you." I laughed.

He played with his new toys for a while then Amanda and I put him to bed.

"Peter thank you for coming, it meant a lot." I told him as he slipped his coat on.

"You're welcome Kyle; you've done a wonderful job with him." He said, then reached into his coat pocket and pulled out two envelopes and handed them to me.

"The first one is from me, its nothing really I just wanted to start a college fund for him in his name."

"Peter I can't-" He cut me off.

"Nonsense Kyle I wont take no for an answer." He paused. "The second letter is from Gretchen, you can give it to him when you feel the time is right. Gretchen just wants him to know that she loves and cares for him."

"Peter… Thank you," was all I could think of saying.

"Not a problem, my boy!" He said then left.

"Hey I should head out too," Amanda said. "My Mom is leaving on a business trip tomorrow, so this is the last night we have together before we leave for New Hampshire."

"Four more days," I whispered in her ear as I gave her a hug and a kiss goodnight.

"Can't wait!" she grinned.

"Me either," I said leaning down and kissing her again. "I love you."

"I love you too!" she said disappearing into the night.

**AN: So I hoped you liked it I wanted to bring Mrs. Bloom's view into the story. Someone mentioned to me that I hadn't done that yet and I thought I would do that before I have them move to New Hampshire. I'm not too happy with the end of this chapter but whatever. Please comment and tell me what you think!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 14

Leaving the Nest

"Light on" – David Cook

Kyle (POV)

"It's so empty in here." Nicole commented, looking around my room.

"Yeah, it is." I chuckled, glancing around.

It was quiet for a moment just the sound of me putting a few more of Brice's things into a box.

I peered up at Nicole and saw that she had tears in her eyes.

"Aw Nicole…" I trailed off, embracing her in a hug. "It's okay we'll be back."

"I know it still won't be the same though all my babies are leaving." She said, wiping away a few tears that hadn't fallen.

"You'll still have Josh," I reminded her.

"I know, but I'm used to a house full of teenagers." She laughed, sitting down on the edge of the desk next to me.

"Just enjoy the quiet." I chuckled.

"You guys, we've got to get these trucks loaded by 3." Stephen harked, poking his head in the room. "Come on lets go!"

"Can't wait to see us go?" I joked, picking up a box.

"Hey I'll be happy when I don't have kids coming in and out of my house at all hours of the night." He replied, picking up another box following me out to the truck.

After going in and out of our house and Amanda's house 278 times mine and Amanda's truck was all loaded up and ready to go.

"Okay Kyle, you've got everything loaded up right?" Stephen double checked, as I yanked the latch of the truck down and locked it.

"Yes,"

"Lori how much more stuff do you have?"

"Just a few more boxes," she said, handing Declan the box she was holding.

"Few," Declan scuffed.

"Shut up," she muttered, as the made another trip back into the house.

"I'm going to go pick up Brice from day care," I hopped, in my car and rolled down the window so I could quickly talk to Amanda.

"Do you mind getting together Brice's things to do on the plane?" I asked. "He picked out some stuff last night I just never got the chance to get it all together."

"Okay no problem." She smiled, leaning forward giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Kyle!" Stephen called "3 o'clock remember, they're towing your car to New Hampshire."

I nodded and continued down the road. I was in a daze thinking about all the things I had to do before we left, print out our boarding passes, get my carry on bag together, and other little things that I didn't realize I was at the day care in minutes.

"Hello Mrs. Austin!" I walked, through the door.

"Hello Kyle," She smiled "I'll go get Brice for you."

I waited for a moment and she came back with a sad looking boy holding her hand.

"Hey Brice, what's the matter buddy?" I asked, knelling down to his level.

"Jared gone." He whispered. He was having a hard time with the fact that we were moving and his best friend couldn't come with him.

"I know buddy, but hey you'll make lots of new friends in New Hampshire!" I reminded him, pulling him into a hug and standing up with him in my arms.

Brice was quiet he just buried his head in my shoulder.

"Well thank you Mrs. Austin, for everything." I said.

"Kyle you're welcome and take care my dear." She smiled, giving me a hug and saying goodbye to Brice.

I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Brice pouting in his car seat looking out the window.

"Brice, you're going to love New Hampshire." I told him.

He didn't say anything.

We arrived at the house and I got him out of his car seat. He borrowed into my arms again.

"What's wrong?" Amanda asked, as I walked into the house, she was referring to Brice he usually only clung to me like this if he was upset.

"J-A-R-E-D" I spelled, afraid if I said his name I would upset Brice even more.

"Oh…" She said, stoking his hair.

Brice played with a few of his old toys that we didn't pack, while we finished up last minute things.

I helped the moving truck man load my car onto the hatch he had **(AN: not sure if this is how it works so bear with me.) **and that was it we were done everything was packed and ready all we had to do was leave.

I found Brice passed out on the couch and all our bags in a pile in the hallway by the front door.

"So we're really doing this?" I said, wrapping my arms around Amanda, who had just laid a blanket over Brice.

"I guess we are." She whispered, resting her head on my chest. "When does our flight leave?"

"Not till seven." I kissed the top of her head.

"And we have a lay over in Chicago." She sighed.

"Hey we wanted to spend as much time with the family as we could." I chuckled.

"I know," She whispered into my chest.

"Pizza!" Stephen and Josh bellowed, barging through the front door.

Brice stirred awake but luckily didn't cry. I plucked him up in one arm and gently place my hand on the small of Amanda's back leading her to the kitchen.

Everyone loaded their paper plates then congregated around the breakfast table.

"So how long is you're guy's lay over in Chicago?" Lori asked, picking at her slice of pizza.

"Two hours," I grumbled "What about you guys, how long is your lay over?"

We planned it so we would have a lay over in the same city.

"Almost three hours," Declan complained, answering for Lori.

"Why don't you guys go see the city?" Josh chimed in.

"There's no point really because once we get in and out of security you have about an hour it see the city." Amanda pointed out.

"Remember when we went to Chicago last summer." Stephen reminisced.

"Yeah…" Nicole sighed.

"Okay before this conversation becomes awkward." Lori cut them off.

Everyone snickered a little and our last dinner before we left passed.

"Do we have everything?" I asked Amanda, as I helped Brice put his tan sweater on.

"Looks like it," She said, quickly scanning the bags we had collected in the hall.

"Let's get the bags loaded in the car." Stephen announced, patting Declan and I on the shoulder.

I handed Brice over to Amanda and grabbed our bags.

We packed up the car and everyone piled in, it was crammed but we managed.

"Lori, move over!" Josh complained.

"There isn't anymore room!" Lori elbowed him in the ribs.

"You would think now that they are 17 and 18 years old they would be mature enough not to bicker." Stephen commented to Nicole.

We arrived at the airport shortly after and everybody filled out of the car.

Stephen popped open the back latch and at the same time Stephen, Declan, and I said "Luggage cart,"

We loaded the two luggage carts up with our suitcases and carry on bags. Then we checked in the suitcases and it was time to say goodbye.

"So this is it, you're leaving me alone with Mom and Dad." He muttered, when I hugged him.

"I'm sorry, but hey you can come visit any time you want." I told him.

"I'll see you at Thanks Giving!" Stephen smiled.

"Yep," I said giving him a hug.

"Take care,"

"I will, and you too." I laughed.

"Aw Kyle," Nicole sobbed, after she said goodbye to Lori.

I embraced her in a hug and she cried into my shoulder. "We'll be back for Thanks Giving and I'll talk to you on the phone." I kept saying.

She sighed and wiped away a few tears. "You better call mister!"

"Don't worry I will." I chuckled.

I watched as they said goodbye to Brice, then we waved goodbye one last time as we went through security.

We boarded the plane and I sat in between Amanda and Brice. Lori and Declan sat in the row behind us.

The three hour flight went well Brice slept fine and Amanda took a short nap on my shoulder.

"Ah, it feels so good to stand!" Declan stretched.

"I know." I said, grabbing our carry on bags from the over head cabinet.

We got off the plane and found a coffee shop in the food court to spend the next two hours.

"It feels weird," Lori commented, out of no where.

"What do you mean?" Declan chuckled.

"We're finally off on our own." She clarified.

"Yeah it kind of feels like we're just going on a vacation and we'll go back home in a few weeks." I added.

"But for the next four years New York and New Hampshire are our homes." Amanda said, sipping her coffee.

"For you and Lori four years, Kyle and I are in school for forever!" Declan joked.

The two hours went by fast soon we were saying goodbye.

"I'm gonna miss my brother." Lori sighed as she hugged me.

"I'm gonna miss you too." I whispered "But we'll talk"

"Yeah! Of course!" Lori giggled.

"I'll see you in a couple months man." Declan said as we did a man hug.

"Yeah, I'll see you, bye Declan."

"Bye Kyle,"

"Okay I hate to break up this little bromance but I'm afraid if I don't you'll run off together." Lori teased.

Declan and I sighed and hugged one more time, making the girls laugh.

I picked up our bags and Amanda took Brice from Lori. We waved goodbye as we walked to our terminal.

The flight from Chicago to Hanover, New Hampshire went well. This time I slept while Brice and Amanda watched a movie.

"Kyle, Kyle, sweetie we're here." I heard Amanda whisper, and stirred awake.

"Oh." I sat up and stretched then grabbed our bags.

We got off the plane and found a luggage cart then found our luggage and loaded up the cart.

I flagged down a taxi and the driver helped me load up the trunk. I got in the back with Brice and Amanda.

"Where to?" the taxi driver asked.

"The Family apartments on campus." I told him, glancing at Amanda with a smile.

We arrived and I carried our suit cases into the first floor of the apartment building.

"Hi we're here to pick up our keys." I told the lady at the desk.

"Alright and your name is?" she asked, trying to be seductive.

"Kyle Trager, and this is my fiancé Amanda Bloom, and our son Brice." I winked at Amanda.

It was a lie but I wanted to get my point across.

"Well here's your key; room 78 2nd floor." She scuffed, handing me the key.

"Thank you." I said, turning to the elevators.

"76, 77, and 78!" I beamed, unlocking the door and opening it.

It was nice. It was a two bedroom apartment, only one bathroom but that was okay.

"So this is it." I said, setting our bags down in the living room.

"This is it." Amanda said, setting down Brice's diaper bag and keeping him in her arms.

"Home," I said, wrapping my arms around both of them.

"Home," she smiled.

**AN: I had a LOT of fun writing this. It was kind of sad that the all went their separate ways but it leaves the story open to so much more! Anyway thank you for reading; I hope you all liked it and pleased comment! **


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15

Routine

""-

Kyle (POV)

I awoke early to hear Brice fussing a little. I stumbled into his room and the minute he was in my arms he relaxed, resting his head on my shoulder drifting back to sleep. The sun hadn't risen yet, but it was going to be in a few minutes. I snatched the blanket off the couch, in the living room, and wrapped it around Brice and me. Then sliding open the glass door to the balcony I stepped outside into the fresh morning air. I watched as the city awoke people leaving their apartment buildings and hoping into their cars, people going for a morning jog, people walking in and out of the coffee shop on the corner. The view from our apartment was amazing I loved to take Brice out here in the mornings and watch the sun rise. Of course Brice just slept but I still enjoyed it.

It had been three weeks since we moved in. We were just starting to get into a routine; in the morning Amanda and I would go to class and Brice would go to day care, sometimes one of us would work in the afternoon but we made sure that someone was home with Brice and we always spent our nights at home or somewhere together.

"Good morning," I herd Amanda whisper behind me.

I turned slightly to engulf her in the blanket with Brice and me. "Good morning," I mumbled, kissing her softly on her lips.

We stood there in silence gazing at the morning sun find its way into the sky. It was a little chilly so I pulled the blanket closer to us.

"It's really pretty," Amanda broke the silence.

"Always is," I spoke softly.

"You're out here every morning?"

"Just about," I chuckled "Usually only when Brice wakes up this early."

"Mommy," Brice muttered, into my shoulder waking up.

He started to call Amanda, 'Mommy' about a week ago, and it made me the happiest man in the world to know that he accepted Amanda into his life like that.

"Right here sweetie," Amanda whispered, rubbing his back.

"Hungry Mommy," Brice said, lifting his head up looking at us.

"Well how about we get some breakfast then?" I suggested, stepping back into the living room of the apartment.

I sat him in his high chair so he could watch us in the kitchen. I didn't know why but whenever we were cooking in the kitchen he liked to watch. I got the coffee started and Amanda made some oatmeal.

"My first class is at 9, when is yours?" I asked, while I waited for the coffee to finish brewing.

"8:30, so you'll have to drop Brice off at day care." She reminded me.

"Okay and you're done at 11:30?" I double checked.

"Yep, so I'll pick up Brice." She said, pouring the oatmeal into bowls and getting Brice apple juice from the fridge.

I poured two cups of coffee and brought them to the table setting mine down by my bowl and the other one by Amanda's bowl.

Brice was insisting on feeding himself this morning so half his breakfast ended up on his face and clothes.

"Brice," I chuckled. "You're supposed to eat the oatmeal, not wear it."

"Aw sweetie," Amanda giggled, grabbing some napkins.

"He's going to need a bath before we go isn't he?" I sighed, looking at the time.

"I think he might."

"Well then let's get you cleaned up." I said, plucking him out of the high chair.

I ran a quick bath and got the oatmeal off of his face and whatever had was tangled in his hair.

"What do you want to wear today buddy?" I asked, pulling his red sweater and jeans from his closet.

"Kyle, I'm heading out." She said, giving me a quick kiss on my cheek. "Bye sweetie." She said kissing Brice on his hair.

"Bye Mommy,"

I had Brice all set and ready to go so I set him down on the couch and turned on Elmo for him. I got dressed then grabbed my books for class.

"Brice we've got to go buddy." I said, turning off the T.V and scooping him up in one arm.

I had him in one arm, his diaper bag over my shoulder and my backpack strapped to my back.

The day care wasn't far from our apartment building so I walked there.

"Okay buddy Mommy, will pick you up in a little while alright?" I said, setting him down.

"Okay bye Daddy!" He muttered, giving me a hug.

"Bye buddy," I ruffled his hair, I gave his bag to Ms. Lindsey, a younger girl that worked there.

I strolled across campus and found my class. I took my seat a few rows back from the front next to a guy who looked half asleep.

"I don't know how I'm going to make it through this class," He sighed, when I sat down. "I'm Paul."

"Kyle," I said. "And I know what you mean." I joked, to be honest I was quiet tired from keeping up with Brice and my school work, I was glad I had Amanda though.

"So how is the professor for this class?" he asked.

"He's good, talks a lot, and he gives a heavy work load, but other than that he's pretty good." I said, realizing I hadn't seen him in this class before.

"I just changed my schedule," He clarified, noticing that I wouldn't remember him in being in this class.

"Oh," I said, and then Professor Wilder started his lecture about on the power of the mind.

The class passed by fast before I knew it Professor Wilder was telling us what our home work was.

"Guys I want you to read chapters 7-10 and write a paper on how much the mind influences how much pain we feel, if we can or can't do something, mind over matter you guys it was in today's lecture."

I wrote down the work and gathered my things. "It was nice meeting you Kyle," Paul said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"Yeah, you too Paul," I said, and then walked out of the classroom.

On my way home I grabbed lunch for Amanda, Brice and I from the café on the corner by our apartment. Then I went straight home.

"Hi Kyle," The front desk lady, Amber, said as I walked through the lobby.

"Hello Amber," I said politely, without looking at her, and got on the elevator.

"Daddy!" Brice screamed, wobbling over to me when I walked through the door.

"Hey buddy," I said, setting the bags down on the table. "Where's Mommy?"

"Right here," She called, coming out of Brice's room.

"I brought some lunch home." I gestured, to the bags.

"Oh good I'm starving!" she said, placing Brice in his high chair.

"How was your class?" I asked, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Long, we talked about the difference of Debussy's music vs. and Beethoven's music."

"Interesting," I thought of the differences myself.

"What about you, how was your class?" She asked sipping on her coke.

"I met this new guy Paul, and we sat through Wilder lecture us on the theory of mind over matter." I smirked, thinking of my training with Foss.

She giggled probably thinking the same thing I was.

"Well, Brice here made a new friend too." She told me, helping Brice with his juice box.

"You did!" I smiled "What's your new friend's name?"

"Lucas," Brice said, eating his goldfish crackers.

"That's great buddy!" I gave him a high five.

We finished up lunch and I decided that I would call the family and check in.

_"Kyle!"_ Nicole answered the phone.

"Hello Nicole,"

_"You haven't called me in almost a week and a half mister, and come to think of it Lori hasn't called me in almost two weeks!"_ She scolded.

"I know I'm sorry." I apologized

Then we talked for almost an hour, she wanted to know about everything that had happened in the last week and a half.

"Well, I've got to go now." I said.

_"Okay Kyle, I'll talk to you later, tell Amanda and Brice I say 'Hi'" She ordered._

"I will."

_"Alright bye, I love you!" she said._

"Bye, love you too!" I replied, closing my phone.

I got started on my work for the class I had today. When I finished Amanda was still working and Brice was napping so I had nothing to do.

I started to watch T.V but there wasn't anything good I so I settled for taking a nap.

I don't know how long I was out but when I woke up the sun was starting to set and Brice was sitting on my chest playing with my face. I let him continue playing, and I caught a glimpse of the clock it was seven.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" I tickled Brice and he giggled.

"You're up," Amanda said, making her way over to the couch.

"Yep," I stood and stretched the sleep out of my muscles.

"I think its time some little boy went to bed though." I said scooping Brice up.

Amanda agreed and Brice pouted.

I carried him to his room and changed him into his pajamas. We settled into the rocking chair that was in the corner of the room and I rocked him until he drifted off to sleep. I watched as his eyelids drooped and he fought the drowsiness.

When I was sure he was fast asleep I carried him to his crib. I tucked the blanket around him and watched him sleep. Watching him sleep was my favorite part of the day; he just looked so peaceful when he slept.

"Good night, buddy," I whispered gently kissing him good night.

**AN: I hope everyone liked the chapter, it was basically fluff but that's okay. I wanted to let you know that there are some new pictures up on my profile. Check them out and tell me what you think. Also I couldn't think of a song that would fit this chapter so if you think of one let me know. Thank you for reading and please comment!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 16

Trains

"Hey There Delilah" –Plain White T's

*The song really only fits for when Kyle is talking to Declan. And it's a joke*

Kyle (POV)

Amanda was working late at the bookstore so it was only Brice and I tonight. We were sitting on the floor of his room playing with his trains.

"Brice what sound does a train make?" I asked holding up one of the trains.

"Choo! Choo!" He giggled.

"That's right buddy!" I chuckled

I glanced at the clock it was time for him to go to bed.

"Okay Brice, I think its enough trains for today, time for bed buddy."

"Choo, Choo?" He asked, handing me his train.

"No buddy, bed time." I said, setting the train aside scooping him up.

I tucked him in and turned the night light on for him.

"Goodnight buddy." I said, pushing a stray hair away from his eyes.

I quietly shut the door and crept into the living room. I knew Amanda wouldn't be home till around ten so I decided to work on my paper for a class of mine.

In the middle of me working Declan called me through _Skype. _

"Hey Declan!" I said, turning on the web cam.

"Kyle!" He cheered "We haven't talked in forever man."

"I know it's been four days!" I chuckled.

We talked for a while about the usual stuff we talked about then Lori came home and Declan had to go.

"I've got to go man," he paused, thinking for a moment. "I miss you." He said, with sincerity.

"Kyle, stop trying to steel my man!" I heard Lori giggle in the background.

"I miss you too! Bye Declan."

"Bye Kyle, only 3 more weeks!" He cheered, referring to Thanks Giving when we would see each other again.

We logged off and I got back to working on my paper.

"Hey Kyle, open up man!" I heard Paul pound on my door, I was sure his noise would wake Brice.

I quickly jump off the couch and over to the door.

"Paul what are you doing here?" I asked, I could hear Brice stirring and I knew he would be crying any minute.

"Why hello to you to Kyle," Paul joked. "We're going out man, come on get your coat." His voice boomed.

"Paul I can't," I told him, hoping he wouldn't question why but I knew he would.

"Of course you-" But before he could finish Brice had woken up and was screaming.

"Daddy!" Brice sniffled.

Paul looked at me with shock and confusion, before he formed his words I went to get Brice.

"Paul, this is my son, Brice." I told him, Brice was burrowing himself into my chest.

"Son?" He asked, still shocked

"Yeah, he's my son."

"Kyle, man, why didn't you tell me you were a single dad." I had only known Paul a couple of weeks, we didn't know that much about each other.

"Because I'm not a single father, my girlfriend Amanda, Brice's mother, lives here with me." It wasn't a complete lie sure we aren't Brice's biological parents but we are his parents none the less.

"Well still you didn't tell me you had a kid." He clarified.

"I'm telling you now." I said.

"Still a kid," he paused, looking at Brice again. "You just don't seem like the kind of guy who gets a girl pregnant."

I shrugged it off, debating if I should tell him I adopted Brice or let him continue to think that I got Amanda pregnant.

I glanced down at Brice, who had fallen asleep, then back at Paul, "I'll be right back." I told him.

I put Brice back down in his crib and shut the door again.

"So Kyle, if you and Amanda have a kid together, are you guys married?" He asked when I came back into the kitchen and sat at the table with him.

"No Paul, Brice is my adopted son." I told him

"You're raising some other guy's kid." I knew he meant that I was helping Amanda raise her son.

I sighed. "No Paul, it's complicated."

"Well I'm a smart guy; I think I can keep up." He said.

"Amanda and I had just broken up, and my Mom had taken my brother, Josh and I with her to a business conference she had. I was driving but I wasn't thinking about the road I was thinking about Amanda. I didn't see a lady pulled over on the side of the road so at the last minute I swerved out of the way, causing our car to go off the road. Josh and I were fine so we got out of the car. My mom kept insisting she was fine and that Josh and I should go check on the lady in the other car. I should have known that she wasn't okay but we went to check on the lady anyway.

"Turns out that the lady was going into labor, so Josh and I had to help her deliver her baby. After we did I went back to check on my mom she had passed out and bleeding badly, but luckily the ambulances were coming." I sighed remembering that day.

"They were able to get them to the hospital in time and everyone was fine. Two months later I came home from playing basketball with a friend of mine, and I found the baby I had delivered sleeping in a baby carrier on my front porch. That baby was Brice. I took Brice in and he became my son when I signed adoption papers. A few months later Amanda and I got back together, and I ran into Brice's biological mom and she told me her real reason for leaving her son with me. His biological dad was a drunk that would beat his biological mom. She didn't' want to bring a child into that kind of world. And now here we are."

Paul was quiet for a moment taking it all in.

"Kyle…" He trailed off "I don't really know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything Paul," I told him.

We talked for a while until Amanda came home.

"Hey how was work?" I whispered kissing her softly.

"It was good." She replied.

"Amanda this is my friend Paul." I introduced her.

"Nice to meet you Amanda, but I should probably get going." He said slipping on his coat.

"So what did you and Paul do tonight?" She asked wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I told him about Brice." I gently wrapped my arms around her waist.

"How'd he take it?"

"Just fine." I smiled kissing her again.

**AN: Okay so Paul knows about Brice! I hope you guys liked the chapter I know it isn't that long but I've been really busy. This is why I haven't really had the time to update my story. I also wanted to let you guys know that I might not have a lot of time for updating so it could be a while between chapters. Check out a picture of what I think Paul would look like on my profile. Thanks for reading and please comment!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 17

Fallen Friend

"How to Save a Life"- The Fray

Kyle (POV)

"Buddy lets get you sweater on," I helped Brice slip into his light grey zip up sweater.

"Where we goin' Daddy?" Brice questioned.

"To the park, we're going to meet Mommy there, remember?" I chuckled; he had already asked me about the park a million times this morning.

"Oh yeah!" He shouted, taking my hand as I led him out of the apartment and onto the elevators that took us downstairs to the lobby.

"Daddy swings!" He tugged at my hand.

"Okay, okay calm down buddy, we can go on the swings if you want." I chuckled at his excitement.

I helped him up on the swing and gave him a light push.

"Higher!" he giggled.

"Higher? Okay," I pulled the swing back just a little, but to him it was much more.

He squealed and laughed when I let go.

As I pushed him I kept my eye out for Amanda, she was meeting us here after her study group. When I spotted her across the park I waved to get her attention.

"Mommy!" Brice cheered, when Amanda made her way over to us.

"Hey sweetie," She scooped him up.

"Hey," I smiled, and gave her a peck on the cheek. I would have asked her how her study group was but my phone went off interrupted us.

"Hold on a minute," I muttered, answering my phone.

"Hello," I said.

"Hello, is this Mr. Trager?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Yes, who's this?" I asked.

"This is Dr. Lynn at the Hospital of New Hampshire in Hanover; I have a patient, Mr. Thomas Foss." **(AN: I have no idea if this is a real hospital.)**

"Is he alright?" I panicked.

"He was brought in after suffering from a massive heart attack." The doctor's voice seemed cold and distant, like she had given this kind of news multiple times before, and now it was natural to her.

"Is…is he…alive?" I managed to ask.

"Yes, but we have to take him to surgery soon to repair the damage that was done to the heart."

"I'll…I'll be right there!" I said, closing my phone.

I glanced up at Amanda and realized that she only heard my end of the conversation.

"Kyle, is everything alright?" I could barely make eye contact with her my mind was racing so much.

"Foss had a heart attack." I whispered

"Oh my god, is he going to be okay?" She stepped closer.

"I don't know I have to get the hospital." I said, giving her and Brice a quick kiss "I'll call you as soon as I know something." Then I left stopping by the apartment to grab my car keys.

"Excuse me could you please tell me what room Thomas Foss, is in?" I asked the nurse at the front desk, when I arrived at the hospital.

"Mr. Trager?" A voice behind me asked.

"Dr. Lynn," I assumed turning to her, she was an older woman in her late 40s I imagined, her black hair was kept up in a bun, and a pair of silver glasses hung from a band around her neck.

"Yes, I'm glad you're here we were just going to take him to surgery. I can give you a few minutes if you like?" she offered.

"If that's alright, thank you." I followed her to Foss's room.

She gestured to the door; and I knock softly and went in.

"Kyle," I almost didn't recognize his voice, it was so strained and weak.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, pulling a chair over to his bed side.

"I'm fine," he lied.

"Why are you in New Hampshire Foss?" I was glad he was here, but I had no idea that he had followed me from Seattle.

"I go wherever you go Kyle," He tried to laugh.

He looked so frail, weak, and sick. He had dark circles under his eyes that looked more like bruises. His skin was a pale grey color that didn't look healthy.

It pained me to see him this way. To know that he has always been there for me, yet the one time he needed me I wasn't there.

"Foss I'm sor-" but he didn't let me finish.

"Kyle, there was nothing you could do so I don't want to hear it." Even though he was sick he still found the strength to be stern.

I gave him a weak smile and a nod. I knew there was no point in fighting with him.

There was a quiet nock at the door causing me to turn my head. "Mr. Trager, I'm sorry but we have to take Mr. Foss to surgery. One of the nurses will show you to the waiting room." Dr. Lynn informed me.

"I'll see you in a couple hours." I said to Foss, not wanting to say goodbye, I could feel my eyes tearing up but I fought them back.

"Don't worry Kyle, I'll be fine." He assured me.

I bent over him to hug him then they took him down to the O.R and a nurse led me to the waiting room.

I sat in one of the plastic chairs, leaning my head against the wall. How could this have happened, he seemed fine when I saw him just before we moved. Foss was the last person I would have expected this to happen. Every time I was around him his heart beat was normal and healthy.

I sighed drumming my fingers on the arm rest. I figured I should probably call Amanda and give her an update.

"Hey, it's me…" I sighed into the phone.

_"Kyle, how is he?"_ She asked.

"I don't really know much. They took him into surgery a little while after I got here." I pinched the bridge of my nose, resting my elbows on my knees.

_"How are you holding up?"_ she worried.

I almost broke and I didn't know why. I had to cover the speaker of my phone just incase. I took a deep breath collecting myself again.

"…I'm fine." I lied. "How are you and Brice doing?"

_"We're fine Kyle don't worry about us." _

"Okay…good… I should probably go." I muttered not really wanting to get off the phone, but I knew if I stayed on much longer I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

_"Alright call me when you get anymore news." _

"I will, tell Brice goodnight for me and that I love him."

_"I will." _She said.

"Amanda," I paused "I love you."

_"I love you too, Kyle,"_ She said softly.

"Goodnight." I whispered and she said it back then we got off the phone.

I sighed and held my head in my hands. I had to clench and unclench my jaw to fight back my emotions.

Foss was more then just someone who trained me. He was my friend, my mentor, and in more ways then one, my guardian angel. He was always looking out for me no matter what. If I was in need he just seemed to show up, it was like he could sense I was in danger. So why couldn't I do that for him? At least once why couldn't I have been there for him?

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. But what could I do I had no information from the doctors about how he was doing. All I could do was wait, his life wasn't in my hands, it was in the hands of the doctors.

I sat there for hours before someone came and gave me an update it wasn't much though but at least it was something.

"Mr. Trager?" I peppy voice asked.

I looked up at this woman, she looked really young most likely an intern.

"Yes," I rose from my chair.

"I just wanted to come and tell you that Mr. Foss is still in surgery there was more of a blockage than we had thought so it's going to be a few more hours."

"Thank you." I said sitting back down, placing my head back in my hands.

It was nearing 10:30 now and his surgery had started at four. I peered around the waiting room there weren't many people here besides myself. There was an older many and a little girl; I could only guess that it was her parent and his child that they were here for.

I hadn't notice someone standing by me until I recognized the heart beat.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, standing up.

"After I got off the phone with you I called Paul and he came over to watch Brice." She paused, wrapping her arms around me. "I didn't think you should be alone."

I held her in my arms and buried my face into her hair.

"Thank you, Amanda." I whispered

We stayed like that for a while. I didn't want to let go of her, she calmed me.

But after a while I remembered we weren't the only ones in the room so I let go.

We sat back down but this time one the couch in the corner of the room. She curled up against me and I held my arms around her.

"Kyle, I know what you're going though." She whispered.

I looked at her for a moment puzzled.

"When my Dad died, he died from a heart attack." She explained

"Amanda, I'm sorry if this is too much…"

"No Kyle, I've come to terms with my Dad's death…" She trailed off.

"Besides you need me." She gave me a reassuring kiss.

"Thank you Amanda, that means a lot to me." I smiled.

We talked a little during the hours we spent waiting for one of the doctors to come and give us any kind of news.

I heard the door to the waiting room open and Dr. Lynn walk in. Her face was unreadable I couldn't get anything from her no anxiety, nervousness, concern, nothing.

It was like trying to read a blank book. I couldn't tell if this was good or bad.

**AN: I know I left you guys with a cliff hanger!!! I hope you guys like it I know you were getting tired of all the fluff and happy life style so I thought I would add some drama. I hope you liked the chapter! Thank you for reading and please comment!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 18

Open Heart

"Weight of the World"- Blue October

Kyle (POV)

"Mr. Trager, we ended up having to perform open heart surgery on Mr. Foss. When we opened him up we found that there was more damage than we had originally thought." Dr. Lynn explained. "Mr. Trager the next 24 hours are critical."

I slipped my arm around Amanda rubbing her shoulder, I needed her close.

"What happens after the 24 hours?" I asked calmly.

"Well we would have to perform a heart transplant as soon as we can get a donor heart. We already have a team searching for a heart; Mr. Foss is at the top of the recipient list. " She said directly "With out the transplant his chance of living isn't very high. If he didn't have the transplant he would likely have another heart attack, but this time it would be fatal."

I was shocked at how easy it was for Dr. Lynn to tell us this news. That a loved one would likely die without a transplant. But I knew that in order for her to be able to do her job she couldn't become attached to her patients.

"Can we see him?" All I wanted to do was see him.

"He's resting now, but in a little while I'll have a nurse bring you to see him."

"Thank you." I mumbled to be honest I just wanted her to leave, which she did. It wasn't that she wasn't being nice or doing her job, it's just that every time I talk to her she seems to have bad news.

"I'm just… I just…" I couldn't get my words out. "I need…a minute…" I told Amanda as I left the waiting room. I could hear her call my name once, but I didn't respond.

I stepped out into the hall way, I didn't want Amanda to see me if I broke. I faced the window my back to the waiting room door. My hands shook as I clasped the window sill. I had to clench my jaw again to fight back the tears.

I took deep breaths tying to compose myself. Foss could die. It was hitting me like a ton of bricks. He could die. A tearless sob shook through my body.

I felt Amanda's gentle hand on my shoulder. She turned me to face her and pull me into a hug. I buried my face into her hair, and another tearless sob shook through my body.

I held her in my arms not wanting to let her go, she was keeping me calm. After a while I stopped shaking, and pulled away from her so that I could see her face.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"You don't have to thank me Kyle," she gave me a weak smile. "I'm here for you."

"Mr. and Mrs. Trager?" A nurse assumed interrupting us.

"Yes," I said on instinct, not really thinking about what she had said.

"I can take you back to see Mr. Foss." She informed us.

I took Amanda's hand. "Okay, thank you."

"Ah, Kyle I should call Paul and see how Brice is doing." Amanda stopped me.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine, you go ahead." She tried to assure me, but I could tell something was wrong.

"Okay." I kissed her softly on her forehead. All this talk about heart attacks had to be hard on her, and I didn't want to push her.

The nurse showed me to Foss's room. When I walked in he was sleeping so I quietly pulled a chair over to his bed side again, and waited for him to wake up.

I examined everything that was hooked up to him. His monitors were beeping steadily and he had pain medication flowing though his I.V. Then I looked at him. He still looked weak, he had dry sweat on his forehead, and his color was still a mix of grey and white. I looked at his eyes they still looked like they had purple bruises under them.

As I was mentally examining him he started to stir. He groaned a little but he wasn't in any pain, he was just groggy.

"Good to see you," I spoke softly.

"Kyle," His voice was hoarse.

"How do you feel?" I asked, helping him with some water.

"Fine, tired." He lied about being fine again, but he told the truth about being tired.

"Did you know?" I asked.

"Did I know what?"

"About the heart problems." I clarified.

"Yeah…" He grumbled.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I questioned calmly.

"Nothing for you to worry about." He said sternly.

"Yet you can worry about my life." I retorted.

"Kyle," He warned, and I dropped it not wanting to stress him out.

Dr. Lynn came in and explained, what she had already told me, to Foss. He didn't seem to show any emotion about it. After Dr. Lynn left Foss drifted back to sleep so I left.

"Hey," I tried to smile when I found Amanda in the hallway outside the waiting room, it was the only place we could use our phones. "How's Brice doing?"

"Paul say's he keeps asking for us." She frowned.

"I have to be here for Foss…" I trailed off.

"I understand, I was thinking about running by the apartment today to get a change of clothes, take a shower, and spend sometime with Brice." She told me.

"Okay, thank you." I said looking out the window realizing the sun coming up which meant it was morning.

"Have you eaten or slept since you got here?" She worried, running her had across my stubbly cheek.

"No, I don't need to sleep." I chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

"Kyle you haven't slept or eaten for almost 24 hours." She scolded.

I shrugged.

"Okay well we should eat, let's find the cafeteria." She suggested, taking my hand.

After wondering around the hospital getting lost we found the cafeteria.

I ordered a coffee and a blueberry muffin, and she ordered a coffee and a bagel. We found a table by the windows that over looked the courtyard.

We talked, while we ate, about how crazy the past few _hours _were, it hadn't even been a full day even though it seemed like it. We also talked about Brice, and that it wasn't fair to him that we left him with Paul for a couple of days, Brice needed his parents. So Amanda was going to bring him back to the hospital with her.

"I'll be back in a little while," She told me, I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Okay, I love you." I kissed her softly on her lips.

"I love you too, Kyle," She kissed me one more time before leaving.

I went back to Foss's room, he was still sleeping but I had bought some magazines at the gift shop to keep me busy. Every so often a nurse or Dr. Lynn would come in and check on him, but he slept for the majority of the time.

After a few hours I got a text from Amanda saying she was on her way back to the hospital. I glanced over at Foss, he was sound asleep, Dr. Lynn said that it was normal for him to be sleeping this much. I sighed standing up; on my way out I told his nurse that I was just going to meet my family and that I'd be back soon.

When I got to the waiting room I stopped outside the door for a minute to collect myself. Brice hadn't ever seen me like this, unshaven, and sleep deprived, the last time I looked like this was when Brice was taken away from me.

Brice looked up when I opened the door, immediately his face lit up.

"Daddy!" He shouted, dropping his train and scurried over to me.

"Hey buddy," I said picking him up.

I tried to smile for him, but Brice is very perceptive.

"Daddy, sad?" he worried touching my stubbly cheek.

"Yeah, buddy Daddy's sad, but I'll be okay." I comforted him, kissing his forehead.

I took a seat next to Amanda and Brice sat on my lap. Once it got close to his nap time he dosed off, curling up on my chest. I wrapped one arm around Amanda. It felt good to have my family with me.

"How are you holding up?" I whispered to Amanda.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She said.

"No, I know all this talk about heart attacks has to be hard on you." I paused. "That's why you didn't come back with me."

"You noticed that…" She trailed off.

"Yeah I did, are you okay?" I asked

"I'll be fine, I just don't think I'm ready to see him, I think it will be too much of a… reminder." She leaned her head on my shoulder.

"That's okay," I said kissing her softly on the top of her golden hair.

Eventually we all had drifted off to sleep, and for Amanda and me it was the first time in the past 24 hours.

**AN: Hope you guys liked it, please comment!**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 19

Restart

"Jump Rope"- Blue October

Kyle (POV)

I listened to Foss's even breathing and tried to fall asleep myself. I had promised Amanda that if she went to class today that I would get some sleep. I had been trying to sleep for a while now, I didn't know if my insomnia was caused by the discomfort of the chair I was sitting in, or the worry that if I did fall asleep something would happen to Foss.

The nurse had offered to bring a cot in here; but I thought it would get in the way if they needed to get to Foss. She had insisted on bringing me a pillow and blanket though which I gladly accepted. The curtains were drawn so it felt like night but in reality it was the middle of the afternoon. I let my head fall back on the pillow and attempted to sleep again. And slowly I did.

When I awoke it was around 4 and I knew Amanda and Brice would be here soon. I glanced over at Foss expecting him to be asleep but he was awake and watching T.V with the volume muted.

"Finally." He chuckled.

I just laughed along with him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

"Healthy as a horse." He joked.

I sighed and shook my head, we had been here for three days now and not once had he told me the truth about how he really felt.

"What are you watching?"

"I don't even know I haven't really been paying attention." He said turning off the T.V

He was quiet for a while so I assumed he was going to fall back asleep again. I pulled out my laptop from my back pack a decided I should get some work done that my professor had emailed me.

"Kyle," his voice was just above a whisper.

"Yeah?" I answered, setting my laptop aside.

"Kyle… I think…something's wrong." He gasped for air clutching his chest.

I sprung to my feet and yelled for a doctor. I looked at his monitors; his heart rate was dropping rapidly.

"I need some help in here!" I bellowed, as I began C.P.R.

Nurses were flying in around me, calling things to each other, one tried to pull me back but I refused and continued the C.P.R. Dr. Lynn called for a crash cart.

"Mr. Trager you need to step back, I have to use the paddles to get his heart starting again." Dr. Lynn explained calmly.

I moved out of her way back against the wall and watched everything unfold right in front of me.

"Charge to 300!" Dr. Lynn ordered. "Clear!"

Foss's body flopped but the flat line continued.

"Charge to 350!" She ordered again "Clear!"

Eventually all the noise became a buzzing sound and I could only hear one voice.

"Kyle," it was soft and kind, I hadn't heard it in the longest time.

"Kyle," it called again,

"Adam…" I could only hear his voice, I couldn't see him, all the doctors and nurses were still moving around me, but they made no sound, like the muted T.V.

"He needs you Kyle… now more than ever." His voice was composed.

"How can I help him when he needs something I don't have?" But he was gone, only his words lingered in my mind. _'He needs you Kyle… now more than ever." _I had to be strong for him.

The sound of the room intensified, but Dr. Lynn's voice was the clearest of them all.

"Charge to 400!"

"Clear!"

There was a pause then a steady beeping rhythm. There was a sigh of relief that filled the room.

I moved passed a few nurses to his bed side. I gripped his hand and looked him directly in the eye.

"Don't do that again."

People started to file out of the room and go back to their work.

"I'll order an eco to check your heart." Dr. Lynn said before leaving.

We were both quiet, I went back to sitting in my chair and letting him rest.

"Daddy!" I heard him call from the door; I peer over and saw him in Amanda's arms reaching for me.

I smiled and walked over plucking him out of Amanda's arms. "Hey buddy, you've got to use your inside voice, Uncle Foss is sleeping."

My eyes darted over to Foss to make sure Brice hadn't woken him up, which he hadn't. I was glad because after today's episode Foss needed his rest.

"Hey," I whispered to Amanda giving her a quick kiss.

"Hey," she smiled back.

"Daddy?" Brice questioned looking at me and pointing at Foss.

"That's your Uncle Foss." I explained sitting back down with him on my lap.

He looked confused and I chuckled at his expression.

"You know how you have and Uncle Declan, and an Uncle Josh?" His face lit up at the mention of Josh and Declan.

"Well you also have an Uncle Foss," A hours voice came from Foss.

Brice leaned closer to me. Amanda and I laughed.

"Its okay sweetie, you don't have to be afraid of Uncle Foss." Amanda giggled next to me.

I stood up and took Brice over to Foss. This was the first time they had formally met each other. I placed him on the edge of the bed, he was nervous at first leaning close to me, but then Foss held his hand out to him. Brice took two of his fingers and giggle.

I noticed a small smile play on Foss's lips.

"Mr. Trager?" Dr. Lynn interrupted.

"Yes," I said turning to her.

"May I speak to you in the hall, please?" She asked, Amanda took my place by Brice and I stepped out of the room.

"I have good and bad news." She told me closing the door behind us.

"What's the good news?"

"We found a donor heart!" and for the first time since I met Dr. Lynn she smiled.

"That's great!" I cheered, I immediately wanted to go tell my family but I remembered that she had more news. "But what's the bad news?"

Her smile faded just as quickly as it came. "We don't have much time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well when he went into cardiac arrest it's a sign that his heart is failing and we don't have much time, so we need to get the new heart as soon as possible." I looked up at her and again she was giving me bad news.

"How long?"

"We can't say, it could be a few days, it could be a few hours." She whispered the last few words. "But we already have a team flying out to New York City to get the heart they should be back by tonight."

I nodded and turning to go back to my family and she followed closely behind. Brice was still sitting at the edge of Foss's bed playing with his fingers.

I watched my family as Dr. Lynn told them the news. And I watched their smiles disappear right before my eyes.

**AN: More drama! I hope you liked it though, please comment!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20

Hidden Thoughts

"Do you realize"- The Flaming Lips

Foss (POV)

I silently watched him sleep sprawled out on the chair next to my bed. He barely left this room and if he did it was for brief periods of time. He worried so much about me and it pained me to be the cause of his stress. He has been my life for the passed 18 years, and I haven't regretted a single minute of it because he's been worth it. In a way I have cared for him as if he were my own son, in truth he is the closest thing I have to a son.

I peered up at the monitors above me, beeping steadily. I glanced back over at Kyle, my only family. I wasn't going to leave him, I wasn't going to be taken away from him, I knew what it was like to have a loved one taken too soon and I wasn't going to do that to him.

Kyle (POV)

I kept up with the doctors and said by goodbyes to Foss as the wheeled him to the O.R.

"I'll see you in a couple hours," I leaned down and hugged him, _for what could be the la-_ I cut that thought off before I could finish it.

"I'll be the one with the new heart!" He laughed at his own corny joke.

"Mr. Trager, you can't go passed this point." One of the nurses informed me.

They wheeled the bed through the doors and down the hall until I couldn't see them anymore.

I found my way back to the waiting room and sat there for an hour or so. I checked my phone out of habit and noticed there was a text from Amanda.

_Just put Brice to bed he misses you… I do too. Tell Foss we love him. I'll see you in the morning. Love you! _

I smiled and closed the phone she had sent it around nine the night before and it was nearing six in the morning now.

"Mr. Trager?" A deep voice asked.

"Yes," I stood up realizing the deep voice belonged to one of Dr. Lynn's interns.

"Ah, Mr. Foss insisted on me giving you this note." He dug in his pocket. "Here."

I took the note and scanned it over. "How's the surgery going?" I asked not looking up from the note.

_Kyle,_

_I want you to know that I'm going to be fine, so while I'm in surgery GO HOME! Spend some time with your FAMILY! I'll still be in surgery when you get back._

_-Foss_

I chuckled just thinking of Foss saying these words.

"The surgery is going well." The intern muttered.

I folded the note between my fingers. "Okay well I'm going to head home for a little while," I paused at the door. "I want you to call me if_ anything _happens!" I said the word slowly.

"Yes Mr. Trager!" He informed me.

I knew I was being a little over protective but if Foss wanted me to leave then I was going to leave him in the best hands possible.

I pulled into a parking space in the parking garage across from the apartment building.

When I strolled through the lobby Amber stopped me.

"Kyle!" her high pitch squeak was like nails on a chalk board causing me to wince.

"Hello Amber," I said trying to just leave it at that.

"I haven't seen you around lately, did you and your fiancé get in a fight?" she probed.

"No and if we did that would be between _me _and my _fiancé._" I reminded her stepping onto the elevator.

I quietly unlocked the apartment door not wanting to wake Amanda or Brice considering the early hour. I slipped out of my shoes and tossed the keys on the table.

I checked on Brice and found him sleeping soundly in his crib. I found Amanda passed out on the couch. I gently slipped my arms behind her back and behind her knees scooping her up in my arms. She stirred but relaxed when she realized it was me. I carried her to our bed tucking her under the covers. I slipped off my jeans and my sweat shirt and climbed into bed with her wrapping my arms around her. I kissed her golden hair and she cuddled closer to my chest.

It felt good to lay in our bed with her in my arms I had missed this. Within minutes I dosed off.

When I awoke Amanda was still sleeping soundly in my arms. I smiled and watched her, she looked like an angel. My angel. I brushed a few stray hairs away from her face and kissed her softly on her lips.

"Amanda…" I whispered then laid another gentle kiss on her lips. "Amanda…" Her eyes began to flutter.

"Mmmm…" She moaned. "I missed that." She smiled her eyes still closed.

I chuckled then kissed her more tenderly "We have to get back to the hospital." I murmured between kisses.

"Okay," she sighed in defeat.

I went over to the closet grabbing a fresh set of clothes.

"I'm going to hop in the shower!" she called from the hall.

I quickly changed into a light grey long sleeve waffle shirt and dark blue jeans. I heard Brice begin to wake up, I glanced at the clock it was nearing nine; I was surprised he hadn't woken up sooner. I pulled the shirt over my head as I walked through the hall to his room.

"Daddy?" He asked standing up in his crib.

"Yeah buddy," I smiled scooping him up.

"Daddy!" He squealed.

I smiled as I helped him get dressed. It made me sad though that this was the first time in a little over a week that I had been there when he woke up in the morning.

Amanda was dressed and out of the shower making a quick breakfast when we made it out to the kitchen. We ate and luckily Brice didn't end up with his breakfast all over himself.

"Daddy where we goin?" Brice asked as I buckled him into his car seat.

"To see Uncle Foss." I told him

"Oh," was all he said.

I climbed into the front seat and started the car. "Ready?" I asked Amanda.

"Yeah," she smiled "Kyle, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I lied; the truth was I was worried about Foss.

As we drove my phone went off, I glanced at the caller id _Nicole_. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't talked to anyone from my family in over two weeks. This meant they had no idea about Foss.

"Hello," I said answering my phone.

_"Kyle?"_ Nicole's voice was coated with concern.

"Yes,"

_"Kyle Adam Trager!"_ I knew I was in trouble. _"You haven't called me or anyone in this family for over two weeks!" _she scolded.

"I'm sorry Nicole; things have been a little crazy here." I told her as we parked in the hospital parking lot.

_"What do you mean is everything okay?"_ Her mothering senses were kicking in.

"Well…" I started as I got out of the car and got the stroller out of the trunk.

"Foss is having a heart transplant today." I just said it like tearing a band ad off.

_"Oh god what happened?" _

"I was at the park with Brice and Amanda about a week and a half ago when I got a phone call from the hospital saying he had just been admitted because he had suffered a massive heart attack."

I wrapped my free arm around Amanda as she pushed the stroller toward the hospital and I continued to talk to Nicole.

_"And now he's having a heart transplant?"_ Nicole confirmed.

"Yeah I didn't know this but he has had a history of heart problems he never told me about and I never pick up on." I felt bad that I hadn't picked up on it.

_"Well Kyle, you can't catch everything."_ She reminded me. _"Even you are human."_

"I know…" By then we had made it to the waiting room. "We're at the hospital now so I'm going to go get an update on how the surgery is going."

_"Alright Kyle, call me when you get the chance." _

"I will, bye Nicole tell everyone I say hi and I love them." I said sitting down in one of the chairs by Amanda and Brice.

_"Okay Kyle, I love you and tell Brice and Amanda I say hi and I love them as well."_

"Alright love you too bye!" I hung up the phone.

I glanced at Amanda she was scowling at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You didn't tell you're family that you've been spending the past two weeks in the hospital because Foss had a heart attack." She scolded

"Things have been a little hectic." I defended.

"Kyle," She folded her arms over her chest trying to be angry.

"I know, I know I should have told them," I chuckled. "You know you're kinda cute when you're angry."

"I did not know that but what I do know is that you're trying to suck up." She retorted.

I leaned over and pecked her cheek and whispered in her ear. "You're not really made at me are you?"

"No," She sighed and I chuckled.

"Now that is something I haven't seen in a long time Mr. and Mrs. Trager." Dr. Lynn's head nurse Todd announced as he entered the waiting room.

"Oh we're not married." Amanda blushed.

I grinned at the thought. "How is the surgery going?"

"Just fine the doctors are just finishing up." He informed us. "It should be about another hour until they are completely finished."

"Alright thank you Todd." And with that he left.

"So if he thought we were married does that mean everyone else thinks so as well?" Amanda whispered as she placed a sleeping Brice back into the stroller.

"Maybe, but would that be such a bad thing?" I asked.

"Being married?" she questioned.

"Yeah," I smiled, running my thumb across the back of her hand.

"No I'd love being married to you, but we aren't even finished with college." She reminded me.

"Well we haven't exactly done things in order." I said. "I mean we're living together, we're raising Brice together… We might as well be married."

"Are you proposing Kyle?" she giggled.

"No, if I was proposing believe me you would know." I chuckled wrapping my arm around her.

We both decided to get some school work done while we waited. I was working on my Anatomy class work when Dr. Lynn marched into the room.

"Dr. Lynn," I said setting my lap top aside and stood up.

"Mr. Trager, I wanted to inform you that Mr. Foss is out of surgery and in recovery." She told us.

"That's amazing!" I cheered.

"But we're not out of the woods yet Mr. Trager, recovery is not going to be easy." She harked.

"I understand, when do you think he will be able to go home?" I asked.

"Well if everything goes well than in the next couple of days." She smiled for the second time since I had met her.

"Thank you Dr. Lynn! Thank you!"

"You're welcome Mr. Trager, I'll have one of the nurses come get you when he wakes up." Then she left.

"He's going to be fine!" I almost shouted. "He's going to be fine!"

I scooped Amanda up and spun her around "He's not going to die!" I set her down.

"This is great Kyle!" She smiled still in my arms.

"It is…" I agreed crushing my lips to hers.

**AN: Well I hope you all loved this chapter, I've been working on it whenever I've had any free time. Sorry it's been so long since I have updated but like I said I've only been working on this in my free time which isn't much. Thank you for reading and please comment! **

***Oh and I almost forgot to mention I saw Matt Dallas (for all of you who don't know he played Kyle) in a new show called Eastwick on abc.***


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

Home Coming

"Looking After You"- The Fray

Kyle (POV)

Foss was sitting at the edge of the bed, his legs dangling over the edge. He was already changed out of his gown and into a pair of black jogging pants and a white t-shirt. I squatted down to his level I wrapped one arm around his back and he did the same to me. Slowly and gently I supported him as he stood up, just the way the nurses had taught us. We took the few steps to the wheel chair and I helped him sit down. He sat there for a while catching his breath, even with the new heart he still didn't have all his strength back.

"I'll see you guys next week, just be sure to stop by the nurse's station to fill out the discharge papers." She told us as we left the hospital room.

"Will do Dr. Lynn, and thank you for all that you've done." I looked her in the eye to show my appreciation.

We stopped at the nurse's station and filled out the discharge papers. A few of the nurses and interns that had gotten to know Foss said their goodbyes and good luck.

I gently pushed the wheel chair through the parking lot and to the car.

"Here let me just get the door," I muttered, moving around Foss to the car door. "Easy, take it slow." I whispered as I helped him move from the wheel chair to the front seat.

"Thanks," Foss mumbled adjusting into his seat.

"No problem," I said, closing the door and loading his wheel chair into the back of the jeep.

We drove in a peaceful silence. When we got to the parking lot outside the apartment building I helped him again into his wheel chair.

I pushed his chair as we strolled through the lobby; I was lucky it was Amber's day off. We rode in the elevator in silence just like in the car.

"Well this is it!" I announced opening the apartment door "Home,"

"Only for a couple weeks," Foss reminded me.

"Right," I mumbled "So what do you want to do? I can make us something to eat; you can take a nap, whatever you want to do."

"A nap sounds nice."

"Okay," I leaned down and helped him into the pull out couch bed.

"Where are Amanda, and Brice?" He asked slipping under the blanket.

"Ah… Amanda is at class and Brice is at day care." I told him as I picked up my books and notes. "I'm just going to do some work, call if you need anything!" I said over my shoulder as I left to go to my bedroom.

I spread out all my work that I had to catch up on out on the bed. I decided to start with chemistry first and work my way through all the other classes. Every so often I would take a minute and listen to Foss just as a way to keep an eye on him with out him knowing.

I hadn't noticed that I had fallen asleep until I heard Amanda moving my work onto the night stand. I kept my eyes shut so she wouldn't know I had awoken. When she went to move the book on my chest, I gently slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her down to the bed.

"Kyle," she giggled in a hush tone.

I smiled devilishly and places tender kisses on her lips.

"How was class?" I hovered over her, resting most of my weight on my forearm.

"Good," she smiled "How did everything here go?"

"Just fine, Foss has been napping since we got home."

"I take it he's not the only one who has been napping." She joked.

I chuckled "Well I did get caught up in two of my classes."

She ran her thumb across the deep purple bruises under my eye. I looked into her eyes; she didn't need to say it I could read the concern in her eyes. I knew I needed more sleep and I knew she was worried about me.

"Have you had lunch?" I quickly asked, before she could say I needed more sleep.

"No," she smiled. "But Brice ate at daycare so I think he'll just nap the rest of the afternoon."

I nodded and climbed out of bed, holding my hand out to her.

"Well than I guess we have a lunch date." I smiled.

"What about Foss?" she questioned.

"He seemed pretty tired when we got home; I think we should just let him sleep."

We quietly made our sandwiches and took them back to our room, not wanting to wake Foss nor Brice.

"Do you remember the last time we had lunch together?" she asked, leaning into me, both of us using the head board for support.

"Well I remember having breakfast that morning at the hospital." I reminded her, even though that was over two weeks ago.

"That's really sad, we haven't had a meal together in almost 3 weeks." She pointed out.

"I know," I mumbled kissing the top of her head. "Amanda I'm going to make you a promise alright?"

"Okay," she smiled.

"Once things calm down I'm going to take you out on a date, just you and me. No worrying about Brice, or Foss, or school. It will be a night to just us." I promised.

She turned to look me in the eye.

"Promise?" she questioned.

"Promise." I grinned. I took our empty plates and set them on the night stand.

I took her cheek in my hand and brought her closer to me kissing her. Her hands weaved into my hair. I kept one hand on the small of her back hovering over her body. She was an angle. I deepened the kiss but we both froze when we heard a knock at the front door.

I sighed pulling away from her. Brice had woken from his nap and was fussing.

"I'll get Brice you get the door." Amanda ordered.

I nodded heading for the front door.

"Coming!" I called when I advanced to the door.

Foss was already stirring so I wasn't worried about waking him.

I swung open the door only to find an unexpected person standing there.

"Nicole?" I ask dumb founded that she was here. "What are you doing here?"

"I take a plane across the country to come see you and that's the greeting I get. 'What are you doing here?' Kyle I thought I taught you better." She teased walking through the hall slipping out of her coat.

"No, it's not like that." I said giving her a hug and taking her coat. "I just didn't know you were coming."

"Well when we talked on the phone you seemed stressed and I thought you might need some help." She smiled "So whatever you need I'll be here."

"Thank you," I gave her another hug.

"Nicole?" Amanda asked making her way toward us with Brice in her arms.

"Amanda!" Nicole called hugging both her and Brice. "It's so good to see you guys!"

"It's good to see you too! I didn't know you were coming." She glanced at me and I shrugged.

Even though I had no idea she was coming I was glad she was here.

"Where is the rest of the family?" I asked poking my head into the living room to find Foss watching the news with the volume down low. I shook my head and chuckled.

"They'll fly out for Thanks Giving." Nicole said bouncing Brice.

"All of them?!?" I choked out, my mind immediately going to who was going to sleep where.

"Yes but don't worry we have everything worked out. We're going to stay at the nice hotel down the street." She explained.

My heart beat relaxed and I noticed Amanda calm down as well.

We all settled into the living room and watched the evening news with Foss.

"Foss you haven't eaten," I pointed out. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Whatever you're planning is fine with me." He simply said not taking his eyes off the TV.

Nicole and Amanda had moved out to the balcony to talk and Brice was watching TV with Foss. I rummaged through the cabinets making a mental note to go to the store. I was able to find some pasta and a jar of sauce in the pantry. I started the water and waited for it to boil.

I listened to my family in the living room. Nicole and Amanda had come back in from the balcony and I could hear Nicole say she was going to see if I needed any help.

I smiled when she came into the kitchen and I broke the pasta and dropped it into the boiling water.

"Pasta?" She questioned standing beside me.

"It's the only thing I could find." I chuckled. "I have to run to the store tomorrow to pick up some groceries."

"I can do that for you if you want." She suggested.

"Are you sure?" I said stirring the pasta.

"Of course that's why I'm here." She said. "Just make a list and I'll go."

"Thank you."

"Kyle, don't worry about it." She rubbed my arm as she went over to the cabinets to find plates and began setting the table.

I strained the pasta then poured it into a bowl and mixed it with the sauce. I set the bowl on the table and chopped up a salad to go with the pasta.

"Here let me do that you go get everyone." Nicole ordered taking over.

I chuckled and did as she told.

"Dinner's ready!"

I helped Foss walk to the kitchen and Amanda set Brice in his high chair. Everyone began to load their plates and we caught up on everything. I glanced at Amanda who was seated next to me. I took her hand in mine under the table. Things were slowly getting back to normal and I was happy.

**AN: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I finally posted another chapter I hope you all like it please comment and tell me what you think! Thank you for reading!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22

Family

"Pictures of You"- The Last Goodnight

Kyle (POV)

I sat in class listening to Professor Linton lecture on the bones in the hand. Even though I had already learned all the bones I was still interested in the lecture. Glancing down, I found that Paul was barely able to stay awake. I chuckled slightly as his cheek slid off his hand and his eyes opened with surprise.  
The last half hour of the class ticked by and soon students were gathering their books.  
"Kyle, we're still going to the library, right?" Paul asked as he slung his black bag over his shoulder.  
"Sure, sure you still need help with-"  
"Mr. Trager!" Professor Linton cut me off.  
"I'll meet up with you at the library." Paul said patting me on the shoulder. "Good luck!"  
"Mr. Trager it seems that Dean Charles would like to see you."  
"Okay. Did he say what it was about?" I asked out of curiosity.  
"I haven't the slightest idea, Mr. Trager." Professor Linton told me.  
I left his classroom and strolled across campus to the student services building.  
"Hi, I was told that Dean Charles would like to see me," I told the receptionist outside the Dean's office.  
"Your name?" she asked, glancing up from her computer.  
"Kyle Trager."  
"Just have a seat he'll be with you in a moment."  
I took the time to text Paul and tell him I wouldn't be able to meet with him after all.  
I peered at the clock on the wall, it was a little after two in the afternoon.  
"Dean Charles will see you now," his secretary announced.  
When I walked into his office I saw a great deal of books and diplomas on the walls and shelves. I was interested, but I felt the need to find out why I was wanted rather than ask about the Dean's achievements.  
"Ah… Mr. Trager! Please have a seat." He motioned to the chair across from his desk that he was seated at. "I have been reviewing your grades here Mr. Trager and…" He paused. "They're perfect, they're beyond perfect they're outstanding!"  
I just smiled sheepishly as he continued talking.  
"So I went back and reviewed your high-school transcript and found the same thing. I've also looked over some IQ tests that were in your portfolio and found that those, too, were exceptionally high.  
"So Mr. Trager I have to ask what are you doing taking such remedial courses?" he concluded.  
"To be honest, sir, I didn't know I had the option of not taking those courses, they're all required," I explained.  
"If you would like I can set it up so you can test out and still receive credit for the course," he offered.  
"How many courses can I test out of?" I questioned.  
"Well you can test out of all the courses you are currently taking, but I have a feeling that second year courses wont be challenging for you, either, so if you would like I can arrange for you to test out of the second year ones as well and you will ultimately have third year status," he explained.  
I sat back in my chair. I would be a fool not to take such a great opportunity.  
"When can I take the tests?" I was anxious to take them as soon as possible.  
"Be in my office at eight tomorrow morning."  
"I'll be here!" I told him standing up to shake his hand. "Thank you!"  
I left his office and practically ran to the book store Amanda worked at. I walked through the store scanning the aisles of books, following the sound of her gentle heart beat until I found her. I let her finish putting her last book away before I snuck up on her and wrapped my arms around her from behind.  
She jumped. "Hello there," I whispered in her ear.  
She turned around in my arms and relaxed when her assumptions that it was me were confirmed.  
"Kyle! Don't do that!" she playfully slapped my chest.  
"Oww," I pretended to be hurt.  
She ignored me though. "I thought you were going to the library with Paul."  
"I was but I have great news!" I paused. "I went to see the Dean today and he said he has been looking at my grades and he wants me to test out my first and second year courses."  
"Seriously?" She asked.  
"Yes." I grinned.  
"Kyle that's fantastic!" she cheered giving me a kiss which I would have been more than happy to get a little carried away with had she not been at work.  
"Thank you…" I mumbled. "I should head to the library and study a  
little bit."  
She smiled and rolled her eyes "Have fun!" She giggled.  
On my way to the library I called Nicole to share my good news. She was ecstatic saying I should spend all the time I needed at the library. I had asked about Brice and Foss but she told me not to worry everything was fine.  
I spent hours reading every textbook on the courses I would be testing out of. When I finished it was nearing eight.  
I left the library and it was already dark out. The crisp cold night air felt good, it helped to clear my mind. I strolled through campus and through town until I reached the apartment building. I peered through one of the lobby windows and saw that Amber was working.  
"Just my luck." I mumbled as I dug through my back pack for my iPod.  
When I advanced through the lobby to the elevator I could hear Amber calling my name. I could tell she was getting frustrated that I wasn't responding. I turned the volume up a little more. The elevator doors opened and I walked in, slightly singing along to the song that way playing.  
I quietly opened the apartment door and shrugged out of my coat hanging it on the hook. I hoped I hadn't woken Foss as I did this. Nicole wasn't here so I assumed she had gone back to her hotel room.  
I found Amanda in Brice's room. I leaned against the door frame and watched as she rocked Brice to sleep. I smiled to myself; Amanda has always amazed me. She could have chosen any other life yet she chose to be with me and to be a mother to Brice. I knew it wasn't the life she had planned but she always reminds me that she wouldn't have it any other way.  
"How long have you been standing there?" her angelic voice said, pulling me from my daze.  
"Not long," I whispered as I strolled across the room to her.  
"Has he been okay?" I asked.  
"He's been fine he was just a little fussy so I didn't want to move him," she explained as she stood up.  
Before she could put Brice in his crib I pulled both of them into my embrace. I smiled down at them.

"I love you," I whispered to them both. Right then and there I knew that this is what I wanted. Our little family.

"Alright Mr. Trager here is your first test, good luck!" Dean Charles said when he placed the test in front of me. I opened the test booklet and began instantly. I had finished it quickly and moved on to the next one, and finished that one, too, before Dean Charles could even finish scoring the first.  
That process went on for about 2 hours. Then, I sat there while he finished scoring the last exam. He looked up at me with wide eyes. "Mr. Trager…" he started when he'd finished scoring the last test. " I don't understand: Each exam should have taken at least an hour yet you've finished 24 of them in a little under two hours and on all of them you received a perfect score."  
I grinned and asked. "So I have third year status right?"  
Dean Charles chuckled. "Yes Mr. Trager you do indeed have third year status. Congratulations!" He shook my hand.  
"Thank you, Dean Charles!"  
When I arrived home the apartment smelled wonderful I could tell Nicole had started baking for Thanksgiving dinner.  
"It smells wonderful!" I called from the hall as I made my way to the kitchen.

"Kyle! How did the tests go?" Nicole instantly asked.  
"It went well," I shrugged, trying to be modest.  
"Well did you get third year status?" Foss probed.  
"Yeah," I smiled sheepishly.  
"Kyle that's amazing! Congratulations!" She hugged me.  
"Good job Kyle." Foss smiled.  
"Thanks." To be honest, I didn't really want to make a big deal about it. "When do Lori and Declan get here?"  
Nicole sighed and shook her head knowing that I wasn't going to bask in my own glory. "They're already here Amanda picked them up from the airport about an hour ago they all took Brice to the park."  
"Well I guess I'll go meet them." I said leaving the kitchen and grabbing my coat heading down to park.  
"DECLAN!!!!!" I shouted when I spotted them at the park.  
I watched as Declan's head shot up and he looked around. I was a few yard way when he spotted me. "KYLE!!!!!!!!!!" he shouted back.  
We instantly hugged and I heard Lori whisper something to Amanda that made me roll my eyes.  
"I've missed you, man!" Declan said when we parted.  
"I've missed you, too!"  
"What Declan gets a hug but your own sister doesn't." Lori said pretending to be offended.  
I chuckled and just because she said something I gave her a hug picking her up off the ground and spun her around.  
"Kyle…. can't …. Breath" she gasped and I set her down.  
"You said you wanted a hug," I reminded her.  
She just glared at me and I smiled back.  
I wrapped my arm around Amanda who was holding Brice.  
"Kyle, how did your tests go?" She whispered quietly to me.  
"Third year," was all I said and I knew she understood.  
"What are you guys whispering about?" Lori caught on.  
"Let's go grab a cup of coffee," I suggested.  
"You guys aren't engaged are you?" Declan joked.  
"No, we're not getting married; I'll tell you guys when we get to the café," I assured them.  
We ordered our drinks and sat down at one of the tables by the windows. I adjusted Brice on my lap knowing that he was going to fall asleep soon.  
I explained to them about my meeting with the Dean and about the exams and how I would have third year status.  
"That's not fair!" Declan joked. "But I'm happy for you man, congrats."  
"Yeah, that's awesome Kyle," Lori added.  
I slid my arm around Amanda who was sitting next to me. "Thanks," was all I said.  
We caught up as we drank our coffees and, just as I had guessed, Brice fell asleep on my chest. When we were finished we went back to the apartment and Stephen and Josh were already there.  
"I thought we were coming to pick you guys up?" I said giving Stephen a one-armed hug since Brice was still in my other arm.  
"Our flight landed early so we took a cab," he explained. "By the way good job!"  
"Thank you."  
I gave Josh a hug then went and put Brice down for his nap. Once he was all settled I rejoined my family who were spread out between the kitchen and living room.  
I found Lori, Declan and Amanda talking in the living room. I noticed Josh was out on the balcony so I went out and joined him.  
"Hey,"  
"Hey," he replied over his shoulder.  
"What are you doing out here by yourself?" I asked.  
"Thinking," he said simply.  
"Andy?" I guessed.  
"How did you know?"  
"You have the same look I did when Amanda was in New York," I smiled.  
He chuckled sadly. "I just wish she hadn't moved."  
"Didn't she get into UW with you?" I asked.  
"Yeah but that's not till next fall, that's almost a whole year."  
"Don't think about it as a whole year you guys start in August so think of it as only eight months," I chuckled. I knew it was horrible advice.  
"Not helping," he glared.  
"I know… and I know it sucks but…" I trailed off not really knowing what to say.  
"Guys dinner." Lori interrupted us.  
Josh sighed and we went back inside. They had gotten a fold-out table so everyone would have a place to sit. We all took our seats at the table and began passing around the festive foods.  
"Lori hurry up!" Josh teased.  
"Now that you said some thing I'm going to take that much longer," she retorted.

"Guys knock it off," Stephen intervened.  
I chuckled slightly to myself; I hadn't realized until now how much I truly missed family dinners.

We sat around the table for an almost an hour, talking and chatting, and eating. I hadn't realized how much we'd eaten until I reached for the potatoes and found that they were all gone!  
"Uhhh… I'm so full," Declan complained as he lounged on the couch.

"Me too," Josh added.  
About an hour after dinner was over everyone had gone back to the hotel and Foss and Brice had fallen back asleep. I found Amanda curled up in our bed reading a book.  
"Hey there," I smiled  
"Hey." She sat her book down.  
I pulled off my sweater and t-shirt tossing them to the hamper.  
"So what did your mom end up doing for Thanksgiving since she didn't fly out here?" I asked as I slipped out of my jeans and into my blue stripped pajama pants.  
"She had dinner at one of her male coworker's house." I sensed slight pain in her voice.  
"I'm sorry," I said crawling into bed with her wrapping my arms around her protectively.  
"I get that it's been three years but, at the same time, it's only been three years. It just feels too soon." She was referring to her mom moving on from her dad.  
"I know." I tightened my grip around her.  
"And around the holidays I can't help think out him," she admitted.  
"That's why you've been so quiet?" I guessed.  
"Yeah," she whispered.  
"It's okay," I assured her kissing the top of her head.  
Eventually she drifted off to sleep and shortly after I followed.

**AN:** Hey everyone! Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate it! Sorry I haven't posted a new chapter in almost a month I've been busy. I hope you guys like this chapter it is one of my longer ones. I also wanted to say thank you to my new beta you did a fantastic job with this chapter. Like I said hope you like it tell me what you think!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

Promise

"Sail Away"- David Gray

Kyle (POV)

Things were beginning to slow down again. Stephen, Nicole and Josh had flown back to Seattle; Lori and Declan flew back to New York a few days after they left. And Foss was cleared by his doctor to live on his own, which he was happy about. I guess he just enjoys his solitude better than our company.

Since everything was calming down and getting back to normal I had to make due on my promise to Amanda. For the past week I had been talking to Lori and Hillary planning out the special night. Everything was set: Paul was going to watch Brice and Amanda and I were to enjoy a night to ourselves.

I hopped in the shower and shaved. I made a point to wear Amanda's favorite cologne on me. When I was done in the bathroom I poked my head in Brice's room to check on him. He was just happily playing with his trains and blocks. I went into my room to change into my "Lori and Hillary approved" outfit. It consisted of a white button up shirt, black slacks, dress shoes, a black leather belt and a black sports coat.

"How does Daddy look Brice?" I asked his opinion.

He just looked up from his toys and giggled. I scooped him up in my arms.

"You think Daddy's being silly, huh?" I tickled his stomach as I sat in the rocking chair with him on my lap.

"You know one day you'll be this crazy about a girl." He didn't say anything; instead he began playing with the buttons on my coat. "And you better not keep anything from her." I thought back to how much I'd hurt Amanda when I was trying to keep my secret.

I chuckled when Brice began to play with my nose.

"Dada," he giggled.

There was a quick knock on the front door followed by a "Honey, I'm home!"

"Only Paul." I sighed, carrying Brice with me to greet Paul.

"Hey, Paul," I was barely able to get out before Brice cheered.

"Pawl" Brice cooed happily. Every since Paul had babysat Brice the first time, they had grown quite fond of each other.

"Still can't say my name right, huh kid?" Paul said, taking Brice from me.

"All the stuff Brice will eat is right there on the counter," I pointed out. "He usually goes to bed around eight, and I'll send you a text when Amanda and I are on our way home. Are you sure you can handle this?" I checked slipping on my winter coat.

"Of course I can, Kyle. Have some faith."

"Right, okay. I have my phone; call if you need anything," I paused grabbing the note for Amanda out of my pocket, and the rose I had for her off the counter. "Before I forget, these are for Amanda."

"Aww, well aren't you cute," he teased.

"Yep."

"Okay Bry, you be good, mommy and daddy will be home soon." I kissed his forehead and left saying a quick goodbye to Paul.

Amanda (POV)

I couldn't wait to get home. I had been studying for my last final of the semester all day. When I strolled through the lobby Amber glared at me which was nothing new. As long as she didn't say anything to me I was fine.

I waited as the elevator doors dinged open and I stepped on hitting the fourth floor button.

"Kyle!" I called as I walked through the door and slipped off my coat. I waited a moment but there was no response. "Kyle?"

"Oh, hey there, Amanda. I didn't hear you come in." To my disappointment it was Paul who finally replied.

"Paul? Where's Kyle?" I asked a little worried.

"Oh, well hold on." He scurried over to the kitchen table with Brice in one arm, and snatched a note and a single red rose off the table. "These are from Kyle."

I took the note from him and read it immediately.

_Amanda,_

My promise to you begins Love, there is a limousine waiting for you down stairs. Get ready, and the limo will take you to me.

I love you always,  
Kyle

A smile crept across my lips, but instantly my mind raced to what I should wear. I left Paul to search my closet until I found a red dress I had never seen before. It was a beautiful dress. I spotted a sticky note poking out, and it had to be from Kyle.

_Lori picked it out._

I chuckled slightly and hurriedly changed and got ready.

"Moma!" Brice squealed when I entered the living room.

"Hey, honey," I smiled, lifting him away from Paul.

"So do you have any idea what Kyle is up to?" I thought it was worth a shot to ask.

"Yes, I do," Paul smirked, "but I'm not telling." He folded his arms across his chest.

"Of course not." I rolled my eyes. "Well than I'm off!"

I rode the elevator back to the first floor and stood outside for a moment. A man whom I assumed was the limo driver called, "Miss. Bloom?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"My name is Walter. A Mr. Kyle Trager would like me to take you to him," Walter informed me, opening my door politely.

"Alright, then," I smiled as I climbed into the limo.

I found another rose in the back of the limo. I just shook my head and giggled to myself. He was definitely gaining points for this.

We drove for almost an hour until we stopped. I peered out the window but it was too dark to see anything.

"Here we are Miss. Bloom," Walter announced, opening my door.

I stepped out and pulled my coat closer to me. I glanced around I was in a snow covered field with trees blanketed with the white powder as well. I spotted Kyle almost immediately; he was standing next to a sleigh that was pulled by horses looking absolutely amazing, like he always did. He began to advance toward me with a grin that grew with every step.

His strong arms folded around my waist and he gently pressed his lips to mine.

"Hello," he mumbled between kisses.

"Hello," I smiled when our lips parted and I laced my hands around his neck.

Kyle (POV)

Amanda looked absolutely beautiful she was a true angle. I laced my fingers with hers and lead her to the sleigh.

"Kyle, where are we going?" she questioned when I helped her onto the sleigh.

"You'll find out soon." I smiled and climbed on the sleigh.

"You look stunning, love." I wrapped my arm around her and pulled the blanket closer to her as we settled into our seat.

"Thank you." She blushed. "You look pretty handsome yourself."

Everything was falling into place, even things I hadn't planned on were happening. Like the snow that was gently falling as the sleigh driver drove us through the forest.

"Kyle, this is perfect," Amanda whispered as she snuggled closer to me.

We arrived at the log cabin restaurant that overlooked a frozen lake. I helped Amanda off the sleigh and led her inside.

"Hi I have reservations for two under Trager," I told the hostess.

She peered down at her list and saw where I had made the reservation.

"Right this way," She smiled.

She led us back to a secluded table that had been set up for Amanda and I which I had specially requested to have a view of the lake. It was absolutely stunning, almost half as beautiful as Amanda herself.

"Your waiter will be right with you," the hostess announced before leaving.

I pulled out Amanda's chair for her then took my seat across from her.

"Kyle this is all…" she trailed off a loss for words.

I reached across the table and clasped my hands around hers. "I made you a promise that I would take you out on a date… And I wanted to make it special because you deserve it, Amanda."

Before she could reply the waiter had arrived.

"Hello, my name is Wes," he paused, looking at Amanda with buckets of lust in his eyes. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Amanda didn't seem to notice the way he looked at her. "I'll just have water."

"And you?" he glanced at me for a split second then his eyes were right back to Amanda.

"Water," I almost spat.

"Alright, I'll be right back with those," he said, winking at Amanda before he left

I sighed as I looked over the menu, trying not to let it got on my nerves too much.

"Kyle what's wrong?" Amanda asked, seeming to know that something was bothering me.

"Nothing," I muttered. I didn't want to ruin our perfect date.

"Kyle, something is obviously wrong. What is it?"

I sighed and avoided her gaze. "I just don't like the way the waiter was looking at you," I finally told her.

She laughed.

"Great. Now you're laughing at me," I shook my head in frustration.

"I'm sorry," she giggled. "It's just I forgot that you could be jealous, I haven't seen you like this since I was dating Nate."

"I'm not jealous," I huffed.

"Really? Than what are you?" she teased.

"Annoyed," I informed her.

"Well, don't be because we're here to enjoy ourselves, and besides you have no reason to be 'annoyed'." She reached back out for my hand.

I smiled I knew I was being petty. "I'm sorry. You're right."

Wes came back with our waters with terrible timing, interrupting mine and Amanda's moment.

"Here you go, sweetheart," he said, placing the water in front of Amanda.

I tightened my hand into a fist under the table.

"Here." He slammed the water down in front of me.

"Alright now what can I get you to eat?"

"I'll have the Cesar salad." Amanda ordered with out looking at him.

"And I'll have a stake, cooked medium well," I told him. He didn't even so much as glance in my direction, which made me even more annoyed.

"Okay I'll be back with those when they're ready," he smiled creepily at Amanda.

"If he does anything, I swear…" I started but Amanda cut me off.

"Kyle, don't worry about him," she assured me.

I smiled, wondering how she could be so truly amazing. "I love you."

She chuckled at my randomness. "I love you, too."

We talked for a while about everything then she asked, "Where do you see yourself ten years from now?"

"With you," I replied simply, even though I knew she wanted me to elaborate.

"Kyle, I'm serious."

"Okay," I chuckled "I see myself with you. Married, probably more kids. Hopefully I'll be working on my residency. Why?"

"Just curious," she shrugged.

Wes came back with our food before I could ask Amanda about her ten-year plan. Luckily this time he didn't make any passes at Amanda. We ate and continued our conversation until we were finished with our meals.

"Come on," I said standing up holding my hand out to her. "Lets dance."

"Kyle there's no…" she trailed off and the music started.

"Did you do that?" she asked taking my hand.

"Maybe," I shrugged pulling her closer to me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"Everything, all this has been wonderful," she smiled

"It's all been worth it," I told her swaying us both to the beat of the music.

After a long while I paid for our meal and we left taking the sleigh back to the limo. It wasn't long after that we were walking into the lobby of our apartment building. Lucky for us Amber's shift was over.

The elevator doors opened and we walked on. When the doors closed I had sudden urge to kiss Amanda, so I bent my neck down to her and locked my lips to hers. She didn't resist so I pressed her up against the wall of the elevator. Again, she didn't resist and I remembered the advice Declan gave me: Take the next step.

I moved my lips along her jaw line and down her neck. I caused the elevator to stop but I didn't think she seemed to notice. My hands were resting on her hips and I gently slid one hand up as I moved my lips back along her neck and to her lips again. My hand slid closer and closer until I was unaware that it was resting on her breast. But again she didn't resist.

I was glad I subconsciously started the elevator again and the doors dinged open because if they hadn't I was afraid we would have taken it too far.

**NA: All right you guys I hope you like this chapter. I'm trying to make the transition of the lovey-dovey ness of Kyle and Amanda's relationship to something more hands on I guess would be the word. But I also want to keep true to their characters and have them wait to have sex until their married. Okay let me know what you think and let me know what you want to see in future chapters!**

***Pic of Amanda's Dress is on my profile!***


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 24

Holidays

"Post Cards from Far Away"- Cold Play

Kyle (POV)

Amanda and I had decided to go back to Seattle for the holidays to see our families. We'd just landed and I grabbed our luggage from the luggage belt. I carried our things while Amanda carried Brice towards the doors that led outside the airport. We were meeting Stephen who had offered to pick us up.

"Kyle!" I heard my name and turned to the direction of Stephen's voice.

"Hey, dad!" I set the bags down by the car so I could give him a hug.

"How was the flight?" he asked as he continued his hugs to Amanda and Brice.

"It was good," Amanda answered, buckling Brice into his car seat while I loaded our stuff in the trunk.

"Alright, well let's go!" Stephen said as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"How have things been at home?" I asked once we were on the highway heading home.

He was quiet for a moment as if he were choosing his words carefully. "Quiet, but good," he finally said, and I knew there was more to it than that.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" I chuckled and decided I would ask him about how things really were later.

"Well...yeah, but after about the first month it gets a little… boring," he admitted.

"I knew you would miss us," I gloated.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled.

"So Amanda, are you staying with us or at your mom's?" Stephen asked glancing at her through the review mirror.

"Well...my mom isn't getting home until tomorrow morning," Amanda explained.

"Our house it is!" Stephen decided.

We pulled up to the house and I could see the Christmas tree through the living room window.

"Are Lori and Declan here?" I asked as we climbed out of the car.

"Yep. They got in this afternoon," he said moving to the back of the car to help me with the bags.

"Kyle, I'm going to take Brice inside," Amanda told me and hurried in out of the cold.

"Dad," I paused to make sure Amanda and Brice were inside. "How have things _really_ been at home?"

He sighed, shutting the trunk and turning to me, "You caught that, huh?"

I nodded.

"Your mom and I have been a little worried about Josh."

"Is he still down about Andy?" I thought by now he would have been doing somewhat better.

"Well it's not just that, I mean...when you and Lori left he took it pretty hard. I think he kind of felt like everyone abandoned him," Stephen explained.

"Maybe us being here for two weeks will do some good," I said as we walked up to the house.

"Hope so," he whispered once we were though the door.

"Kyle!" Nicole was the first to greet me.

"Hey mom!" I engulfed her in a hug.

"Hey Lori!" I moved on to her.

Then I moved on to hug Josh and from him I moved on to embrace Declan.

"Where's Amanda?" I asked Lori once we had migrated to the kitchen.

"She had a phone call. She's in your room," she told me.

I decided I would take our bags to my old room and make sure everything was alright.

I was in the doorway of my room when I could hear Amanda arguing with her mom.

"Mom…No…It's not that…Yes…I know…It's just..." I could tell she was having a hard time getting a word in. "Yes, I'll be over tonight." She paused. "After dinner, alright bye." She snapped her phone shut and I could sense that she was beyond frustrated.

I set our things down and went to comfort her. "Hey, you okay?" I asked rubbing her shoulders.

"Yeah I'm fine." She rested the back of her head on my chest. "My mother's flight got in early so now I have to go meet here new boyfriend after dinner."

I moved my arms around her protectively and kissed the top of her head.

"You don't have to meet him alone. I'll go with you if you want." I offered.

"You would do that?" I could feel her smile.

"Of course," I whispered, kissing the top of her head again. "We should probably get back," I mumbled after a few moments.

"Okay," she said, taking my hand. I led her back to the kitchen.

Lori was the one who was monopolizing Brice at the moment and I could tell he loved all the attention.

"Kyle, Josh will you set the table?" Nicole asked sweetly, but we knew it was an order.

"So what have you been up to, Josh?" I asked setting one of the plates down.

"Not much really. Just school and work," he said setting a set of forks and knives down.

"Hanging out with friends?" I questioned.

"Little bit."

"Talking to Andy?"

"Every once and a while," he paused as he put down the last set of utensils. "Why?"

"Just wondering what you've been up to Josh, that's all," I said, setting my last plate down.

Then Stephen and Nicole came in with the chicken and vegetables Nicole had prepared.

"Dinner is ready," Stephen announced.

Everyone filed into the dinning room and took their seats.

We ate the delicious meal and enjoyed a conversation of how everyone was doing. I was happy to see that Josh was laughing and enjoying himself. I could tell Stephen was happy to see that as well.

Once we were finished it was nearing Brice's bed time and I decided to put him to bed.

I changed him into his pajamas and rocked him to sleep.

"Now that I miss," Nicole said quietly.

I hadn't even noticed she'd been watching me.

"What?" I whispered.

"Just being able to see how good of a dad you are to him," Nicole elaborated.

I stood up and placed him in his crib and tucked the blanket closer to him.

"He needs me," I said without taking my eyes off him. I just hovered next to him for a moment. "Goodnight buddy," I said, moving a few stray hairs away from his face.

"Amanda and I have to go over to her mom's for a little while. Will you keep and eye on him?" I asked once we were out in the hall.

"Of course, but I thought her mom wasn't home?" Nicole questioned.

"Her flight got in early," I explained.

Nicole went off into the kitchen to finish tidying up while I went to the living room and found Amanda and Lori having one of their girl talks.

"Hey Amanda we should probably get going," I said.

"Uhh noo," she groaned.

"Come on, it won't be that bad," I said while leading her to the hallway.

"See you later, Lori!" I called over my shoulder as we left.

Amanda and I walked outside and in moments we were walking through the front door of her childhood home.

"Mom!" Amanda bellowed as she shrugged out of her coat.

"Amanda!" Mrs. Bloom greeted when she appeared in the hall. "Oh, you brought Kyle with you?" I could hear the false joy in her voice.

"Hi, mom," Amanda said with a hug.

"Well, come on. There's someone I want you to meet." Mrs. Bloom led us to the living room where a middle aged man sat.

"Amanda, this is David. David, this is my daughter Amanda and her boyfriend Kyle." I was surprised Mrs. Bloom even mentioned me.

"Hello Amanda." David stood up and shook Amanda's hand. "I've heard so much about you."

"I wish I could say the same," Amanda replied, it wasn't harsh: it was just fact.

Amanda and I sat next to one another on one of the couches and Mrs. Bloom and David sat in chairs across from us. No one said a word or made any eye contact. The minutes ticked by with lasting silence. I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place to and even if it was I wouldn't know what to say.

"So I hear you're going to school for music," David finally said trying to connect with Amanda.

"Yes, at Dartmouth." I was glad to see she was making some what of an effort.

"Piano, right?" David asked.

"Yes."

"You know, I play a little myself." I could tell David was really trying.

"You do?" Amanda said, looking surprised.

"Yes, but I am more of a guitar player," David chuckled, and I heard a small laugh escape Amanda's lips.

After a while a real conversation started to flow and Mrs. Bloom excused herself to get us some coffee.

"I'm going to see if your mom needs any help." Really it was only and excuse for me to leave as well.

"Did I hear Amanda laugh in there?" Mrs. Bloom asked when she noticed my presence.

"Yeah, I guess you did Mrs. Bloom," I shrugged.

"Kyle please call me Carol." I almost dropped the mug I was getting from the cabinet.

"Now I know I haven't been too fond of your relationship with my daughter in the past." That was an understatement. "But I've seen the way you two look at one another… and if Amanda is willing to give David a chance…I suppose I would be willing to give you a chance as well."

I was silent for a moment; she was actually giving me a chance.

"Thank you Mrs.- I mean, thank you Carol." I finally said.

"Well, this is your only chance," she warned, picking up the coffee cake and went back to the living room.

I quickly grabbed the four coffees two in each hand and followed her back.

"Well you two seem to be getting along," Carol said setting down the desert.

I took my seat again next to Amanda and watched as she interacted with David. I could tell she was being careful but every once and a while she would let her barrier fall.

"Well, it's getting late we should get going," Amanda finally said. "I'll see you for Christmas dinner Mom." Amanda admitted, since she would be spending Christmas Eve dinner with my family.

"Alright Amanda," Carol said.

"It was nice to finally meet you Amanda," David said.

"You, too, David," Amanda replied and she was being sincere.

Then we walked out the door and back to my house.

The next day was Christmas Eve so we were all busy preparing dinner for tonight. There was barely a moment for any down time. Brice was too young to really help so he spent most of the day playing with his toys.

"Kyle and Declan, you two can peel and cut the potatoes," Nicole ordered handing us a bag of potatoes and two potato peelers.

"Lori and Amanda, will you chop the vegetables?" Nicole continued.

"And Stephen and Josh, I trust you with the roast. I'm going to handle the pie." Nicole smiled to herself.

We got to work and shortly after Stephen and Josh were the first to complete their task and went to play x-box.

Declan and I had each peeled nine potatoes and we were becoming bored and it was starting to show. Declan and I were having a contest to see who could peel the most potatoes in 30 seconds.

"I win!" I shouted

"No fair the potatoes kept slipping out of my hands." Declan whined.

"Boys," Nicole warned and the girls giggled.

Once we had all finished our assigned tasks we were assigned new ones. Lori and I received the job of wrapping last minute gifts that weren't ours.

"Oooo looks like Josh is getting new underwear," Lori teased.

"So what are you getting Amanda?" Lori questioned placing a bright red bow on Josh's gift.

Since we were in my room I knelt down by my suit case and found Amanda's present and handed it to Lori.

"Oh Kyle, it's beautiful," Lori said when she'd opened the box.

"You think she'll like it?" I asked.

"She'll love it," she assured me, handing the box back.

"Good," I smiled.

Before I knew it everyone was dressed in their nicer clothes. I joined the rest of the family, minus Stephen and Nicole, in the living room.

"You look handsome," Amanda whispered to me, crawling onto my lap since we were left with the arm chair to share.

"Well you look beautiful," I informed her. At that moment, we were in a little world of our own.

"I'm starving!" I could hear Josh complain, but I wasn't really paying attention to him. No one else was, either.

"Alright break up the love fest," Declan said throwing a pillow at us.

"God I hope we aren't like that," Lori joked.

"Oh, don't worry: you're worse," Josh assured her and Lori slapped the back of his head.

"Dinner!" Stephen called from the dinning room.

Amanda slid off my lap and I scooped Brice up in my arms taking him to the table.

Since there were eight of us it was a little cramped at the table. We piled our plates and dug in. I watched as my family laughed and a few pictures were taken through out the meal.

I had helped Brice cut up his food but other than that he was pretty content on feeding himself.

Shortly after dinner and desert were over were all gathered in the living room were we were aloud to open one gift.

Amanda and I sat on the floor with my back against the couch and she sat comfortably on my lap. Brice was sitting with Nicole.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered in Amanda's ear handing her the gift I'd gotten her.

She opened it carefully "Oh, Kyle! It's stunning." It was a golden locket with a small picture of the two of us in it and on the back the word '_Forever_' was inscribed.

"I'm glad you like it," I smiled. I helped her put it on and we both admired it around her neck.

"Thank you," she said. "Here," she handed me a present wrapped in red paper.

I opened it and found that it was a silver watch. "Amanda, this is a really nice watch. Thank you." It looked really expensive as well but I didn't say anything. I just snapped it on my left wrist: I had to admit it did look really nice.

"Your welcome, Merry Christmas."

After that we watched the others open their gifts and saw the different facial expressions that appeared with they opened their present. Some were shocked and others laughed at a comical gift. To be honest this was the best part of Christmas, not the gifts, but being with my family.

**AN: Okay I hope you like the new chapter. I know its a few days late considering that they are celebrating Christmas but whatever. There is a picture of David on my profile so check that out. Also I have a question for everyone what do you think about doing a time jump? Whether it is a few months or a few years? Let me know!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 25

Time Goes By

"What's a Boy to do"- Mat Kearney

Kyle (POV)

3 years later…

The funny thing about life is it can all change in the blink of an eye. One minute you have everything going for you and the next minute everything comes crashing down.

I gazed down at my hands firmly clasped around Amanda's one hand as she lay in the hospital bed. She looked like she was just sleeping but no matter what I did, I couldn't wake her. And I had tried everything.

I glanced toward the diamond ring on her finger and remembered the day she agreed to marry me.

FLASHBACK: 4 Months prior:

We had moved back to Seattle because Amanda had gotten a job with a music company out here and I had jumped ahead in my schooling and I was starting my internship at the hospital out here. We had moved into another two bedroom apartment in downtown Seattle. And for almost a month now I had, had an engagement ring burning a hole in my pocket.

Amanda and I had just put Brice to bed and we were sitting on the balcony just enjoying the Seattle sky line view. Amanda was on my lap and I had my arms wrapped around her. I realized that as simple as this moment was it was the perfect moment to propose. I reached into my pocket keeping one arm still around her and I fumbled for the velvet box.

"Amanda?" I whispered.

"Hmm?" She was oblivious to what I was doing.

"Will you marry me?" I opened the box in front of her as I spoke.

She was speechless and quickly sat up on my lap to look at me.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am, Amanda I haven't been this sure about something in my life." I smiled. "So…Amanda Bloom will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes! I'll marry you!" As soon as the words left her mouth I slipped the ring on her finger and her lips were on mine.

END OF FLASHBACK:

"Kyle." Dr. O'Shea said, motioning for me to step out into the hall. He was the doctor working Amanda's case as well as being my attending.

I gently set Amanda's hand down and kissed her forehead before leaving.

"Kyle, I'm sure you've looked at her chart so you already know…"

"That all we can do is wait," I finished. Truly that was all we could really do because really it was all up to Amanda to wake up.

"Right, now Kyle your parents are with your son he had to get a few stitches but other than that he is fine. The CT came back normal which is good."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and listened to him explain everything and also processing it all.

I had been paged to the E.R and when I got down there my fellow interns and I waited for the ambulances to arrive. All we knew was that they were car accident victims. Little did I know the ambulances were bringing my fiancé and my son.

"Have you contacted her parents?" Dr. O'Shea's question pulled me from my daze.

"Yes they're on their way." I recalled the phone call to Amanda's mother and step father and hearing Carol get choked up on the phone.

"Alright we're going to monitor her closely," he said. "Kyle…She's going to be alright," Dr. O'Shea added, placing one hand on my shoulder.

"Right, okay. I'm going to go check on Brice." I turned to leave. "Page me when her parents get here."

I peered through the glass window on the door to Brice's room. He was sitting up in the bed with Stephen and Nicole by his bed side.

"Daddy!" Brice was the first to notice my presents.

"Hey buddy," I tried to smile as I advanced to his bed and scooped him up.

"How's Amanda?" Stephen asked.

"She's stable; all we can do now is wait for her to wake up." I was quickly scanning Brice's chart and checking the stitches on his forehead.

"You okay buddy?" I asked.

He nodded and tucked his head under my chin.

I felt my pager vibrate and I immediately checked it.

"Amanda's parents are here," I said. I tried to hand Brice to Nicole but he clung to me.

"Daddy don't go." My heart broke.

"Kyle just go, we'll tell the nurses he's with you. Then we'll meet you up there," Nicole told me.

"Thank you," I mumbled, holding Brice a little closer to me as I left.

I found Carol and David talking to Dr. O'Shea outside Amanda's room.

"Kyle," Carol greeted with a worried hug. "How did this happen?"

"I…I don't know…all I know is that there was a car accident." That was all I honestly knew.

"Mrs. Bloom-Martin, (AN: David's last name) the police are investigating what exactly happened," Dr. O'Shea added.

"Can we see her?" Carol asked as Stephen and Nicole made their way over to us.

"Yes, you may." Dr. O'Shea opened Amanda's door and let Carol and David into the room.

I didn't go in because I felt they should have a moment alone with Amanda so I stayed in the hall with Stephen, Nicole and Brice.

Brice still had his head tucked under my chin and with out moving he asked for Amanda. And again my heart broke. I looked up to Stephen and Nicole for something to say but I knew I was the only who could answer his question.

"Brice, Mommy isn't feeling very well right now." I tried to keep it very simple.

"I want Mommy." He mumbled into my chest.

"We have to let her rest buddy but in a little bit we can go see her." I kissed the top of his head.

Eventually he fell asleep and Stephen took over holding him. I went back to Amanda's room to be with her for a little while. Carol was sitting by her bedside and David had gone to go get some coffee from the cafeteria.

I was checking Amanda's vitals and looking over her CT and MRI scans for the millionth time.

"How is she doing?" Carol asked.

"Her vitals are strong and her scans are perfect," I tried to keep positive.

"Than why won't she wake up?" Carol was almost pleading.

"She will when she's ready." I hated of how much of a doctor I sounded like right now but there really wasn't anything else I could say.

David came back with the coffee and took Carol to get some air. I took her place by Amanda's bed side and held her hand.

"Amanda you have to wake up…I… I need you…" I trailed off.

Those were the last words I spoke that night. I dosed off with my head resting on the edge of her bed.

I was only asleep for a little while when I was awoken by Amanda shifting in her bed. Instantly my head shot up. I watched her eye's open and adjust to the light. They flickered over to me with a searching and almost confused look.

**AN: So a LOT happened in such a short chapter! I hope you all like it, sorry about the cliff hanger at the end there. But you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter it should be up sometime by the end of next week. I have a lot of exams and once they're over I'll have some writing time. **

**Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this chapter tell me what you think and a picture of Amanda's ring is on my profile.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 26

Memory

"Shooting the Moon"- OK GO

Kyle (POV)

"Amanda," I spoke softly.

"Who…are you?" Her question killed me, but before I could say a word she asked another question, "Where's my Mom?"

"I'll go get her," I sighed, leaving the room.

She didn't remember me. This meant she didn't remember Brice. She didn't remember that we are engaged. It also meant that she didn't remember anything about my past. To her there was no Zzyzx, or Madacorp, or Latnok, or Adam Balin, or even Jessi.

Before I tracked down Carol I had one of the nurses page Dr. O'Shea.

"Carol," I called once I spotted her and David turning the corner.

"Kyle what's the matter?"

"She's awake." I watched as a smile spread across her lips. "Carol…she doesn't remember me."

"What do you mean she doesn't remember you, you're her fiancé." I could tell she was a little frustrated.

"The head injury from the accident caused a case of amnesia. She can remember some things, like you, but that's all I know," I explained.

"Can't we go see her?" Carol asked.

"You can go see her, but if she doesn't know who I am I don't think she'll remember you, David," I clarified.

"Alright, than I'm going to go see her," Carol declared and I could tell this was all a little overwhelming for her.

David and I hovered outside Amanda's room while Carol explained to Amanda that she was in a car accident. Carol didn't mention that Brice was in the car with Amanda, which was good. Shortly after Dr. O'Shea came. He asked me to join them in the room which I was kind of glad he did.

"Hello Amanda, I'm Dr. O'Shea, and this is my intern Dr. Trager," he said, gesturing to me.

Amanda kept her eyes on me the whole time Dr. O'Shea did his exam. I couldn't help but wonder if a part of her remembered me.

"Well, let's do another CT scan that will be able to tell us a little more. Amanda, what exactly is the last thing you remember?" he asked, closing her chart.

"I remember being at school then waking up here," she explained sneaking glances at me.

"Okay. Well, Dr. Trager will take you to get that CT." I nodded and grabbed the wheel chair from the corner of the room.

"Here," I mumbled helping her into the chair. I wanted nothing more than to be able to give her a reassuring hug and tell her everything would be okay. But I knew I couldn't.

As I wheeled her through the halls of the hospital she was a quiet.

But then she finally spoke. "Dr. Trager?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you related to Lori or Josh Trager?" At least she remembered them.

"Yes, they're my brother and sister."

"But I've lived next door to them since we were kids, why haven't I met you?" she questioned.

"Amanda, you know how Dr. O'Shea and your mother explained to you that because of the accident you don't remember some things?"

"That's why I don't remember you." She finished.

"Yeah." The tone in my voice almost gave away my sorrow.

"But I still don't understand how you're related to them," she said as I helped her onto the CT scanner.

"They adopted me when I was sixteen." I kept it simple because it was just easier that way.

I started the machine and stepped back into the control room. I looked over the scans, which had appeared on the monitors, they were clear which meant that her memory loss was only temporary. So for how long would she not remember me?

I sent the scans to be printed than went back into the room and turned off the machine.

"We're all done," I smiled and helped her off the table.

"So, if you were adopted by the Tragers does that mean we've met?" she asked on our way back to her room.

"Yes, we've met."

"Oh" was the last thing she said.

Once I had her safely back in her room I paged Dr. O'Shea then went to find Stephen and Nicole to update them.

Once she noticed my presents she quickly ended her phone conversation.

"That was Lori." She said putting her phone back into her purse. "She was about ready to buy a plain ticket and fly out here."

"She's not going to is she?" I asked sitting down in the chair next to her.

"No, no I figured the fewer people here the better." She assured.

"Oh, where's Dad?" I asked.

"Brice was getting fussy so he took him back to our house," she explained.

I yawned and leaned my head back on the wall.

"She's awake but she doesn't remember me," I almost whispered.

"Oh Kyle…"

"Her CT scan was clear so that means its only temporary but still…"

Nicole lovingly took my hand. "I remember when you didn't have your memory and you were so lost."

"That's because there was nothing to remember," I reminded her.

"That's true but at the time you didn't know that and it didn't make you any less frustrated."

"I know," I said rubbing my eyes.

"You should go home and get some sleep; you've been here all night," I told her.

"So have you," she retorted.

"I know. But I work here, I can crash on any bed I want," I chuckled.

"Are you sure you don't mind if I go home?" she asked.

"No. Go home. I'll be over once my shift is over."

"You're still working?"

"Yes, I'm still on-call," I explained standing up to give her a hug goodbye.

"Get some sleep," she ordered before leaving.

I decided to take Nicole's orders and go take a quick nap in one of the on-call rooms. Once I got there I was glad I was the only one who needed a nap at the moment. I took the bottom bunk of one of the beds and once I got comfortable I was out.

I wasn't able to sleep for too long before one of the nurses paged me. I dragged myself out of the bed and to the nurse's station.

"I was paged," I told Nurse Daniels.

"Yes. Dr. O'Shea wanted you to check the vitals on the patient in room 132." As soon as she said the numbers I knew it was Amanda's room.

I took the chart and glanced at my watch it was nearing eleven in the morning which meant I had gotten more sleep than I had thought.

"Hello, Amanda!" I smiled when I entered the room.

"Hello, Dr. Trager." She returned the smile.

I took my stethoscope from around my neck and placed it in my ears.

"I'm just going to check your vitals." I placed the medallion of the stethoscope on her chest and listen to her breathing. I never needed the stethoscope it was just more of a prop.

"Your breathing is clear," I confirmed.

I had placed her chart on the tray by her bed so I began recording all her vitals that appeared on the monitors. I still didn't understand why Dr. O'Shea was having me take Amanda's vitals since she was my fiancée. I guess he just figured that there wouldn't be a conflict of interest taking vitals.

"Ky- Dr. Trager, when will Amanda be able to go home?" Carol caught herself.

"She should be able to go home this afternoon. I think Dr. O'Shea just wanted to keep her here for a little while to monitor her," I clarified briefly looking up from my notes.

I continued charting but really I was just going over the notes Dr. O'Shea had made, since I had finished mine. The truth was it gave me an excuse to be in Amanda's room.

"Amanda, I'm just going to get some coffee. I'll be right back," Carol excused herself. I knew she was going to go talk to David though.

"My mom says you're important." Amanda said once Carol left.

I looked up from the chart a little perplexed.

"In my life, I mean," she enlightened me.

"Yeah, I guess you could say I am," I smiled.

I watched her play with her ring.

"I asked my mom about this ring and she told me to ask you," She seemed unsure of how to phrase her words.

"You want to know who gave it to you," I concluded.

"Yeah," she was looking me directly in the eye now.

"Amanda, I gave you that ring when you agreed to marry me." I knew she wouldn't remember but maybe it shed some light on some of her questions.

"So we're a _big_ part of each others lives," she stated.

I chuckled, "Yes, we are."

"I just wish I could remember."

I moved to sit on the edge of her bed a little bit hesitant to. I took her hand and she didn't say anything.

"When you were sitting in my room when I woke up I couldn't remember who you were but…I knew we were some how…connected," she admitted.

"Amanda, I could tell you every story and everything we've been through...but the thing is you wouldn't be remembering it. I would just be telling you facts," I explained.

"Then just tell me the basics about us, like how old we were when we met." She was eager to know more.

"Well we were 16 when we met, and we were 17 when we started dating and I proposed about four months ago," I couldn't help but smile.

She asked a few more questions and I answered them as best as I could, but it was difficult not to tell her a memory we shared rather than giving her basic answers.

Later that afternoon she was discharged and went home with Carol. When my shift ended I went and picked up Brice then we went home to our apartment.

"Alright buddy once we're done with dinner you have to take a bath," I told him while pouring him a cup of milk.

"Daddy, where's mommy?" he asked.

I contemplated how to answer his question. "Bry, mommy's going to be staying with her mom for a while. She hasn't been feeling too well."

"Why can't she stay with us?"

"Well, Bry, you know how when you don't feel well you want to stay with mommy or daddy. It's the same for us sometimes: we just need our mommy's." I tried to explain as simple as I could without fully telling him what was going on.

"Oh," he said and I knew he wasn't happy about it.

Once we finished dinner I helped him with his bath then I read him a story and tucked him into bed.

"Goodnight buddy," I kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too," he mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

I went to mine and Amanda's room and sat on our bed. I picked up the picture frame from the night stand. I smiled when I saw it; it was one that had been taken of us at the Tager house when we had announced that we were engaged at one of the family gatherings. Amanda was sitting between my legs and I had my arms around her and I was resting my chin on her shoulder both of us shared the same grin.

I set the picture frame back down then stretched out on my side of the bed. I didn't mean to fall asleep but the minute my head hit the pillow I was out. I didn't even have a chance to change out of my scrubs.

**AN: Alright everyone I hope this answers a few more questions (I know not many). I haven't had too much time to right (or even post for that matter). I have no idea when I'll be able to post the next chapter but I hope you all enjoyed reading this one.**

** Not to whine about not getting reviews but I noticed that I went from getting about 5 or 6 reviews a chapter to about 1 or 2. I just wanted to make sure everyone was still reading. Also I'm very close to 100 reviews and I think it would be pretty awesome to finally get there. Anyway you guys are great and I appreciate every single review I receive! **


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 27

Photos of the Past

"The Glass Parade" – Cary Brothers

Kyle (POV)

When you're a doctor, the sound of an alarm, whether it is your pager, your alarm clock or a patient's heart monitor going crazy, they all mean the same thing: Move. But this morning I woke up before my alarm went off. I just spent the 7 minutes and 23 seconds I had left lying there. I tried not to think of anything just so I could clear my mind of all the tasks I had to get done later that day, all the worries my day usually brought, and most of all of Amanda.

I focused of my breathing each breath slower and deeper than the one before, lowering my heart rate and just letting go. I achieved this for a very brief amount of time, but all good things come to an end, no matter how simple. I shut off my alarm that sounded at promptly 6:30am and climbed out of my empty bed.

I tried to be as quiet at possible so I wouldn't wake Brice. I grabbed a towel from the linen closet in the hall and went to the bathroom and turn on the shower closing the door behind me. While I let the water heat up I stripped off my sweat pants that I had fallen asleep in the night before.

I slipped into the shower and let my body temperature adjust to the unusually hot water. The water helped to loosen my tight muscles from the eight mile run I had gone for the previous night. I closed my eyes, letting the beads of water run down my skin.

My hand fumbled for the shampoo bottle as I continued with my shower. Once all clean, I quickly ran a towel through my hair then shook it out like a wet dog would. I then wrapped the towel around my waist; I shaved and gathered my clothes I had dropped on the floor.

Before I went to my room to get dressed I stopped at Brice's room.

"Brice, Buddy time to start waking up." I knew it was pretty brutal to wake up an almost-four-year-old at seven o'clock in the morning, but I didn't have a choice. Usually Amanda wouldn't have to go to work till nine and she would look after him.

I left his room and got myself dressed. I finished by clipping my pager to my belt and putting my cell phone in my pocket. I gathered all the things I would need for work in my bag and put it in the hall by the door before checking on Brice.

Lately Brice was keen on dressing himself so I wasn't taken back when I found his shirt inside out and backwards.

"I dressed all by myself!" he stood there admiring his work.

"I see that." I couldn't help but chuckle, I knelt down to his level to help him out. "But buddy, your shirt is inside out."

He looked down at himself then back at me. "Looks good to me Daddy."

"Here," I smiled fixing his shirt. "All better!" I said tickling his stomach.

He smiled faintly but lately it was hard to get him to smile or laugh.

"Alright, let's get you some breakfast." I sighed and scooped him up in one and brought him to the kitchen table.

I cut up an apple and poured him a bowl of cereal before grabbing myself an apple and heading back to my room.

I snatched a duffle bag from the closet and began filling it with some of Amanda's clothes. I had promised Carol I would bring them over after work. I reached for one of my sweat shirts I knew she liked to wear and what she called a 'lazy day'. I reached for something on the top shelf and found the photo album she had been working on for us.

I cracked it open and flipped through the pages. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the photos that went in sequential order from when we met till our engagement party.

"Daddy?" I heard Brice call.

When I looked up he was standing in the doorway.

"What's that?" he asked coming closer.

"Just some old photos of Mommy and Daddy." I smiled, closing the album and placing it in Amanda's bag.

"Ready to go?"

He nodded and I led him out to the hall, and helped him get his shoes on. It was a warmer day out so we didn't have a need for our jackets and we drove with the windows down.

"Daddy?" I glanced back at him through the review mirror.

"Yeah buddy?"

"When's Mommy coming home?" He had been asking the same question everyday since the accident almost two weeks ago.

"I don't know buddy, soon." I sighed, it was the truth and it was the same answer I gave him every time he asked that question. I killed me to not be able to give him a better answer.

We pulled up to the hospital and I parked the car. I got out and went to unbuckled Brice. I could see a few tears in his eyes which broke my heart.

"I'm sorry Bri," I said plucking him up in my arms, and he clung to me. I felt my shirt dampen a little and a sniffle here and there.

"Its okay, you're okay," I would whisper.

After a little while he stopped crying.

"Are you alright?" I asked and he nodded without lifting his head off my shoulder.

I grabbed my bag and started walking toward the hospital. Once inside and I dropped Brice off at the daycare and went to the intern locker room. "Okay everyone, rounds in five minutes!" Our resident, Dr. O'Shea, called as I slipped my scrub shirt over my head.

"Kyle, you okay?" Ian, another intern of Dr. O'Shea, asked.

"I'm fine," I lied shrugging on my lab coat.

Our group of five interns met Dr. O'Shea for rounds. We visited eight patients on the surgical floor all from various wings of the floor. I had glanced at each of the patients charts so I would know their history but during the rounds themselves I was able to let my mind focus on other tasks.

We left our last patients room and Dr. O'Shea gave us our assignments.

"Trager: Neuro, Walker: PEDS, Barns: Ortho, La Flour: Scut, and Foster: Cardio," he concluded and we dispersed.

Dr. Fords the head off Neuro let me scrub in on a craniotomy which took hours but it only seemed like minutes. I was fascinated by the brain and how it worked. My fixation made sense since enhancing the brain power was Adam's fascination.

The craniotomy went well and Dr. Fords and I scrubbed out.

"Dr. Trager, don't tell the others but you're the best intern I've seen in years," he gloated.

"I wouldn't go so far as to saying that."

"Ah, you're being modest," he retorted. "Ever since you caught my mistake on your first time on my service I knew that you were going to go far."

"Thank you, Dr. Fords," I said, drying my hands.

"It was great working with you Dr. Trager, I'll see you tomorrow," he said before leaving for the night.

I was flattered when the attendings or residents complimented me but I also felt guilty because I had an advantage compared to the rest of the interns.

I checked on a few patients before I picked up Brice from the daycare. I called Nicole on the way to their house to let them know we were on our way. Josh and Andy were staying with them for a few days since it was summer vacation for them.

When I pulled up into the drive way I saw Brice's face light up a little realizing were we where. I got him out of the car and brought him inside.

"Hello," I called

"In here!" Josh called back from the kitchen.

"Hey guys," I said entering the kitchen.

"Uncle Josh!" Brice squealed.

"Hey squirt! God, you're getting big," he chuckled, taking him from me.

"Hey, Kyle," Andy greeted me with a hug. "How are you holding up?"

I sighed. "As well as I can."

Josh took Brice into the living room to play.

"I think the hardest part is when he asks for his mom," I admitted.

"It has to be confusing for him, you know. One minute he has his mom in his life everyday and the next she's gone and he doesn't really understand why," she said, taking a seat at the counter.

"How am I supposed to explain to a 3 year old that his mom doesn't remember who he is?" I was frustrated but there wasn't any anger in my voice.

"You don't…you keep doing what you're doing… and hope that one day your life goes back to normal," she said, giving me a weak smile.

I shook my head and smiled. "No wonder you're going into psychology."

She laughed and nodded.

"Hey where are mom and dad?" I went on, noticing they weren't home.

"Stephen's car broke down Nicole went to go pick him up," she explained.

"Oh… what are your guy's plans for the night?"

"To be honest, I think Josh is plotting to kidnap your son," she giggled.

I peer at them in the living room and saw Brice laughing and having a good time. It was good to see Brice smile.

"Maybe that's a good thing; I haven't seen Brice that happy in forever." I smiled. "Do you mind if I go over to Amanda's? I have to drop off a few things..."

"Go ahead. We'll take care of Brice."

"Thanks," I said before grabbing Amanda's bag and leaving.

I hopped up the steps to Amanda's door and rang the bell. I could hear Carol advancing to the door from the kitchen.

"Hello, Kyle!" she said kindly.

"Hello, Carol," I reciprocated. "How is she doing today?"

He face fell. "I had to explain to her about David, she's a little upset."

"Is she upstairs?" I already knew she was but I asked anyway.

"Yes, maybe you can cheer her up," she sighed.

I nodded and climbed up the stairs to Amanda's room. The door was cracked and I knocked. I could see her lying on her bed with her back to the door.

"Mom, I just want to be left alone," she called.

"Oh, I'll just leave these here than," I said, about to leave but I heard her flip around in her bed so I hesitated in the door way.

"Kyle, I thought you were my mom," she said. "You don't have to leave."

"But I thought you wanted to be left alone," I reminded.

"Well you obviously came here for a reason," she pointed out, eying the bag.

"Yeah. I brought some of your clothes over and…" I paused taking the album out of the bag, "I brought this."

"What is it?" she questioned, sitting up in her bed.

"It's a photo album that you made for us. I thought it might jog some memories or something…" I trailed off sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Can I see it?" she asked scooting closer to me.

"Of course," I smiled, cracking it open.

The first picture was the one that had been taken at mine and Lori's birthday party.

"Were we dating here?" she asked pointing to the picture were she was kissing my cheek.

"No, we weren't dating yet, we were just friends," I explained, recalling the memory myself.

She flipped through the various pages examining each photo and every caption.

"Our first apartment?" she questioned.

"We lived together when we went to Dartmouth," I told her.

"Oh," she whispered flipping the page.

"We look so happy in these pictures…" she trailed off admiring the photos.

She lingered on a photo that had been taken of us. Neither one of us had been paying any attention. I had her engulfed in a hug and she was smiling up at me and I had returned the smile.

"I wish I could remember…" she added.

I placed my hand on her shoulder a little hesitant. "You will."

"But what if I don't, Kyle? What then? Am I just supposed to forget the past 6 years of my life?" I could tell she was getting upset. "It's just… so… frustrating!"

By then she was in tears and I couldn't help but feel a little responsible.

"I'm sorry…" I murmured wrapping my arms around her and letting her cry on my shoulder.

"Why are you sorry?" she mumbled.

"If I hadn't brought the album over then you wouldn't have gotten upset," I replied still keeping her in my arms.

"Kyle, I'm not upset that you did that, I'm glad you did," she insisted. "I'm upset about the fact that I can't remember my life."

By this point I was cradling her in my arms. I didn't know if I was pushing a boundary or not but she didn't object. I just held her in my arms and let her cry it out. I think this was the first time she had truly shown her emotions about her situation. Eventually she cried herself to sleep and I was about to tuck her into bed and leave.

"Don't go," she mumbled, holding onto my hand.

"Okay," I said climbing back into her bed with her. She instantly snuggled up next to me and fell back asleep.

I reached into my pocket and texted Josh to make sure he was okay with watching Brice for the night. He texted back saying he was.

I held Amanda tighter to me. I felt so good to be able to hold her in my arms. So natural. So right.

"I love you." I whispered for the first time since the accident.

Eventually I fell asleep as well and that night I dreamt about our first kiss in the garden.

AN: Hope everyone likes this chapter! Tell me what you think and thank you for reading!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 28

New Found Talents

"Off I Go"-Greg Laswell

Kyle (POV)

I laced my fingers around Amanda's as we meandered through the park. It was nice to be able to spend the day with her. I was the first day I'd had off in a very long time and Stephen had offered to take Brice so Amanda and could get out.

As we walked we talked about various things. Mostly Amanda was asking questions about her past.

"Kyle?" she asked when we had found a bench to sit at. I knew Amanda wouldn't remember the significant of this bench. But it was the same bench we sat at when I revealed to her my past.

"Hmm?"

"We started dating when we were 17, right?" I knew she knew that was true so I was curious as to why she was asking.

"Yes," I humored her.

"So that means we've been together for six years?"

"Yes," I continued to play along, interested as to where she was going with this.

"I was wondering…I mean six years is a long time…. Did we ever…?" She trailed off and I watched as a blush appeared on her cheeks.

I had a feeling I knew what she was getting at.

"Have sex?" I asked softly.

"Yeah…" she mumbled turning her head away in embarrassment.

I smiled "It's alright Amanda; you don't have to be embarrassed," I reassured her.

"So did we?" she asked

"Ah…yes," I mumbled, "we did, but it wasn't until after I had proposed and we had been engaged for a while."

"Oh," she paused and I could tell she was thinking about something. "We…waited that long?"

I couldn't help but chuckle a little at her response it wasn't something I had anticipated.

"Well I knew how you felt about sex and how you wanted it to be with someone you were going to be with forever, someone you truly loved." I explained. "So I didn't want to pressure you into anything you weren't comfortable doing, so we waited." I smiled toying with a piece of her hair.

"There's something else I wanted to ask you abouts," she said biting her lower lip as if she was unsure.

"Okay, but last question because I promised you're mom you would be back for dinner," I smirked: I hadn't said something like that since we were in high school.

"Last night I had a strange dream," she started. "At least, I think it was a dream. But I'm not sure: it felt very…real."

"What was it about?"

"I was sitting on a bench in front of a fountain at Lancaster Park. You had walked up behind me and told me the garden was 'beautiful', then I asked how you knew I would be there and you told me it was were I used to come with my father. Then you sat down next to me and we talked about Stephen's dad. We talked about how you gave him a chance to say goodbye. Then we talked about my dad when he was sick and after seeing what you had done I was able to say goodbye and know he heard me. Then you asked what my look was for and I told you that you were the mind reader you should tell me. You didn't say anything after that…."

"Because we were kissing," I finished and she looked at me with shock in her eyes. "Amanda, that was a memory."

"A memory?"

"It was our first kiss actually." I grinned at the fact that she remembered something. But in the back of my mind was the fact that I had fallen asleep last night recalling the same memory.

"So this means I'm starting to remember things!" she beamed.

"Yeah! I guess you are!" I grinned but I couldn't help but wonder if I had been the one to give her that memory some how.

She grinned and walked with a slight bounce in her step the whole way home. She was so delighted at the fact that she remembered something. Her happiness radiated, because even though I was happy for her being around her made me that much more elated.

We reached the front door of her house and we lingered on the porch.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked.

"I have to work." She frowned. "Maybe I can stop by after, though."

"I hope you can," she smiled. "Good night, Kyle," she took a step closer to me and placed on hand on my chest and gave me a peck on the cheek before disappearing inside.

When I arrived home to the Trager's, Stephen and Brice weren't home yet, Josh and Andy were upstairs and Nicole was in her office. Part of me was glad everyone was preoccupied because it gave me a chance to call Foss. Since he had some of Adam's journals I was hoping he would be able to help give insight as to if I had 'given' the memory to Amanda or if it was just a coincidence.

Foss had moved back to Seattle a few months before Amanda and I had. He had begun to reconnect with his sister Elizabeth a few years after his heart transplant. Their reconciliation was what had prompted him to move back in the first place.

After the third ring his voice mail answered and I left a quick message telling him to call me back. As if planned, the minute I ended my phone call I heard Stephen and Brice walk through the front door. I left my room and met everyone in the kitchen were they had gathered.

"Daddy!" Brice squealed from his seat at the counter.

"Hey buddy!" I smiled ruffling his hair.

Stephen had brought home pizza for dinner which seemed to be the reason why everyone had gathered in the kitchen.

"What did you do with Grandpa?" I asked taking a slice from the half eaten cheese pizza on the counter.

I listened to Brice tell me about how he and Stephen had been to get fitted for their tuxes for Lori and Declan's wedding that was in August.

"Which Josh, Kyle—you both are driving Lori crazy by putting off getting yourselves fitted for tuxes," Nicole added.

"Hey I've been busy," Josh defended himself.

"Doing what?" Andy giggled.

"Well…. I've been enjoying my summer…" he mumbled realizing his excuse wasn't going to work. "Besides you haven't gone to be fitted for your dress."

"Because Lori's flying out here in two weeks so Hillary, Lori and I can all go together," Andy retorted and Josh just glared at her in defeat.

"Well you guys just have to get that taken care of. Soon," Nicole instructed.

After dinner I helped Nicole with the dishes.

"So what's on your mind?" she asked, scrubbing a plate.

"Where do I even start?" I chuckled.

"That bad?"

"No," I sighed. "Just confusing." I said and began to explain to her what had happened with Amanda.

"Isn't that a good thing though? I mean you're able to help her recover her memories." By this point we had finished the dishes and we were sitting at the counter.

"Yes, but I don't even understand how I'm able to do that." I could hear the frustration in my own voice.

"Kyle I can't help you understand how you can do this, but with you abilities, and everything you can do and everything you will be able to do may not have a reason right away." I smiled sipping the cup of tea she had made for herself. "But I do think that if you're helping Amanda isn't that a good thing?"

Before I could answer Josh walked into the kitchen with Brice sleeping on his shoulder.

"I think its time for someone to go to bed," Josh told me handing over Brice. "He is worn out."

Brice didn't even seem phased that he had been moved from one person to another he just curled right up on my shoulder.

"I should probably get him home," I smiled. "He's had a long day."

Nicole and Josh walked me to the door and said goodnight.

I walked out to my car and buckled Brice in his car seat with out him even waking.

The car ride was very quiet which I was glad for because it gave me time to think. I thought of all my abilities and how I am able to do them. But if I was able to give Amanda a memory did that mean I could get into her mind as well?

When we arrived home to the apartment Brice hadn't woken up yet so I tucked him into bed. Immediately after I went to my closet and dug out the two boxes I had with all my things from Adam that Foss didn't have. We felt it would be safer to divide all of his old books and journals.

There was so much of it I didn't really know were to begin. That's when I just started picking up book after book, journal after journal and reading each one of them. I looked at every picture, every diagram. If my legs fell asleep from sitting on the floor I would pace as I read. I noted everything that might be relevant. It wasn't until I saw the sun coming up that I realized I had been up all night and I needed to start getting ready for work.

**AN: Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since my last update but I hope you all liked this new chapter! Tell me what you think and thank you for reading and commenting!**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 29

Tradition

"Sideways"- Citizen Cope

Kyle (POV)

It had been a few weeks since I had discovered my new ability. Since then Foss and I had spent most of my already minimal free time studying Adam's notes and journals. We had also started to train a little in the mornings.

Lori and Declan had been in town for a few days and I had promised Declan that after my shift I would meet him at the park for a pick up game of basketball. It was our little tradition that we had kept since we went off to college. Whenever we were both in town we would try to play at least one game.

I just had to check in on my patients before my 19 hour shift was over.

"Hey Collin, how are you doing?" I asked as I entered his room.

Collin was my favorite patient. He was nine years old and he was fighting leukemia. Not even that would get him down, though. That's what I loved about him: he was a fighter.

"I'm alright, Dr. Kyle." He smiled.

I glanced at his mom for conformation, Collin never would admit if anything was bothering him.

"He's just been a little tired," she elaborated standing up from her seat to stand next to Collin. "Thanks for being with him this morning for his chemo treatment."

His mom Julia worked two jobs in order to keep up with the medical bills. Whenever she couldn't be here for his treatments I would sit with him to keep him company.

"It's not a problem, we had fun playing cards didn't we Collin?"

"I beat Dr. Kyle four times," he said with a laugh in his tone.

"Only because I let you win," I joked, even though I _had_ actually let him win. I moved over to his bedside so I could check his breathing.

I placed the medallion of the stethoscope on his back. I had done the same thing with tons of patients before and not once had I actually needed the stethoscope.

"Your lungs sound good," I informed, helping Collin lean back down. The chemo left him pretty weak.

"Is there anything you guys need?" I asked, recording his vitals in his chart.

"No, I think we're fine," Julia answered.

"Okay, well I'll be back tomorrow night," I said before leaving the room.

When I finally got out of the hospital and over to the park to meet Declan it was the late afternoon. Lori and Declan had been watching Brice all day while I was at work. When I met up with them Declan was helping Brice shoot a basket.

"Hey!" I called jogging the last few yards to the court.

"There's your dad," I heard Declan mutter to Brice, who immediately ran as fast as his little legs would carry him over to me.

"Hey buddy!" I scooped him up in my arms. Lori had been sitting on the bench and had made her way over to us.

"How was apartment shopping?" They were planning on moving back to Seattle after their wedding. Declan had transferred to University of Washington for his last few years of med school.

"It was good." Lori said.

"We found one in your building actually." Declan smirked.

"Really? What floor?" I could hear the excitement in my own voice.

"Right. Across. The. Hall." Declan was now grinning.

"Tell me you guys are taking it!" My grin matched Declan's.

"Yes!" Declan cheered

"Declan was whining worse that a child," Lori sighed.

"Wait, you don't want to live right across the hall from your own brother? That hurts Lori." I pretended to be offended the same way Josh would.

"No, it's not that, it's that Amanda and I will never be able to separate you two," she complained.

Declan and I exchanged glances. "And that's a bad thing?" We laughed.

She huffed and took Brice from me. "Just play your game," she said pretending to be flustered. She walked off taking Brice over to the playground.

"You're going down," Declan taunted before checking the ball to me.

"You always say that but it never happens," I retorted, checking the ball back.

"First one to twenty-one, and no half court shots," he explained, like always dribbling the ball between his legs.

We were playing for only 20 minutes and I was up by four and only had to make another four shots before I won.

Declan had just made a basket and was checking it in to me.

"Doesn't look good," I mocked.

"Just remember that when _I_ win," he shot back.

"Really?" I teased dribbling past his block for a lay up.

We continued like that for another 15 minutes or so before I won. We found Lori and Brice by the monkey bars. Brice was swinging from bar to bar.

"How bad did you beat him this time Kyle?" Lori asked.

"Thanks babe! Thought my fiancé would have some faith in me," Declan sulked.

"Awww, I do sweetie...But I also know that you can't beat Kyle." She smiled.

"Daddy: shoulders," Brice said to me swinging his way over to me across the bars.

"Okay buddy." He swung both legs over my shoulders and held on to my head.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked holding onto his legs.

"I think so," Lori said and Declan put his arm around her and we began to walk home.

I watched them walk off for a minute and I couldn't help but wish that Amanda were here. As we walked all I could think about was her. In the past few weeks since I had discovered my ability I had been giving her a few memories here and there. I was lucky that those were triggering the memories I couldn't give her. I had been careful not to give her memories that were about my past or about Brice. The only time I could give her memories was when she slept that way I could keep my abilities a secret. I didn't want to overwhelm her so I kept them simple. Our first 'date', first kiss, and the night she spent in my room instead of going back to New York were just a few.

I lifted Brice off my shoulders before we went through the front door so he wouldn't hit his head.

Nicole had planned a barbecue and everyone had gathered on the back porch for dinner.

"The steaks are done!" Stephen announced placing them on the table as everyone took their seats.

It was the first meal we had all had together in a long time.

"Lori will you pass me the broccoli?" Josh asked.

"Wow you're eating something healthy? I'm shocked," Lori teased, passing him the plate of broccoli.

"You're so funny Lori."

"Okay kids knock it off," Stephen stepped in.

There was a casual conversation going and I was helping Brice cut up his meat.

"This is nice," Nicole commented.

"What do you mean?" I asked. She was sitting at the other end of the table from me and across from Stephen.

"Having everyone here for dinner," she explained.

It was nice to be able to sit down for a meal with the family. I hadn't had time to do that in a very long time. But I couldn't help but feel like Amanda was missing.

Once dinner finished and we had cleaned everything up. Declan, Josh, Brice and I were out in the back yard. Brice and Josh were playing with a football while Declan and I got a chance to talk.

"So how's New York been?" I asked.

"To be honest I can't wait to come back." He chuckled "Seattle will always be my home."

"I know what you mean." I nodded.

"What about you, things have been kind of hectic," he inquired.

"That's a little bit of an understatement." I sighed. "I just wish Amanda could have her memory back and things could go back to normal."

"Well isn't that what you're doing? Helping her remember?"

"Yeah, but it can't happen over night, besides there's things that I don't know about that she experienced. I don't know every detail of what happened when she went to New York, I only know what she told me but even then I never went through it."

"So you're only giving her memories you were apart of," he stated.

"Right. I have to hope that those memories trigger other ones."

"Well you've just got to be patient man, eventually she'll remember everything and you're lives will go back to normal. You'll be living together again, then you'll get married and it will be as if she never forgot anything." He chuckled.

I felt my phone vibrate and I quickly checked the message:  
_  
Will you come over? We need to talk._

Amanda

"Do you mind watching Brice? Amanda needs to talk," I asked. Her message seemed important.  
"Sure, take all the time you need."

"Thanks Declan," I said.

"Hey Bri," I called making my way over to him. "Daddy has to go back to work, but you're going to stay here with Uncle Declan, and everyone," I told him, knelling down to him. I knew it was a lie but if I told him the truth I knew he would want to come with.

"But I want you here, Daddy." It broke my heart; I constantly had to choose between him and Amanda.

"I know you do Buddy, but I also need to work." Another lie. "How about tomorrow you and I spend the day together, you can come with your uncles and I while we get fitted for our tuxes. Then after that, just you and me for the whole day. Okay?"

He looked up at me and smiled but I knew he was still sad. "Okay Daddy."

"I love you Bri," I told him holding my arms out for a hug.

"Love you too," he mumbled falling into my arms.

Declan and Josh took Brice inside and I walked next door to Amanda's. I felt terrible for leaving him. I hopped up the porch steps and knocked on the door.

After a moment I could hear David's heavier footsteps near the door.

"Hello Kyle," he greeted, gesturing for me to come in.

"Hi David. Is Amanda upstairs?"

He nodded and I was about to head up before he stopped me.

"Kyle, I should warn you that she found a picture of you, Brice, and her. I think she's put together that you're his father and I'm pretty sure she knows that she's his mom." So that was what was so important.

"Okay," I sighed. "Thank you David."

I turned and continued my way to her room.

"Amanda," I called pushing her open door open further.

"Hey," I almost whispered. She was sitting on the window seat holding the picture.

"Please tell me what this means," she said, standing up meeting me half way across the room holding out the picture.

"Where did you find that?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter where I found it, what matters is you didn't tell me!" She defiantly knew. "How could you not tell me we have a son?!"

"Amanda I'm sorry...I've been dealing with a lot."

"What could have been so important that you couldn't have told me about him? I don't even know his name Kyle!" Her voice shook a little at the end.

"What did you want me to say 'oh by the way I adopted a baby boy when I was 18 and you signed the adoption papers six months ago.' I didn't want to overwhelm you, I wanted to protect you and I was trying to protect our son." I could feel my voice raise a little. There were a few tears in her eyes but she stayed quiet.

"Amanda he asks about you everyday. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to force you into anything." My voice softened

"Force me into anything?" she snapped.

"You've been given a clean sleight here. You can choose to leave and I'll understand Amanda."

"Why would I do that?" she seemed to calm down a little.

"Not many twenty-one year-old women would choose to be a mom," I explained

"Kyle, I know that I love you and I may not even remember our son's name, but if he is our son and I choose to be his mother I know that I love him too," she said. I reached out to wipe away the few tears that had fallen.

"What's his name?" she asked, my hand still holding her cheek.

I smiled "His name is Brice Kyle Trager, he's three but he'll be four September 2nd. I adopted him when I was 18. His biological mother felt that she couldn't give him what he deserved and she also wanted to get him away from his biological father who was abusive. When we were living together at Dartmouth you became close to him. Six months ago you signed the adoption papers to become his legal mother." I told her everything then held her as she absorbed it all.

I knew it would be overwhelming for her but she needed to know. She cried on my shoulder frustrated with herself for not being able to remember. After a while of just standing there holding her not saying a word she asked 'when she could see him?'.

**AN: Hey everyone I know it's been a while… But I finally updated. I hope everyone likes this. I'm really looking forward to writing the next chapter hopefully in the next couple weeks it should be up, maybe sooner if I have the time. **

**Anyway I was thinking about a couple things the other day and I wanted to see what you guys thought about them, so here are some questions to ponder for everyone.**

**1.) We all know that the reason Kyle is extremely intelligent because he was in the pod for so long. My question is would his abilities/intelligence be genetic?**

**2.) Foss. We all know that he was the drunk driver that caused the death of his family. But why was he drinking in the first place? Was he an alcoholic?**

**I'm not sure if I'll end up using these ideas in my story but I was just curious to see your thoughts. And if you have read this far than THANK YOU! I hope that means you'll reply.**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 30

Fairy Boats

"And Then You"- Greg Laswell

Kyle (POV)

It was around 7 o'clock in the morning when I woke up. Brice wasn't even close to getting up. I had been lying there for about an hour just thinking about what had happened the night before. Part of me was glad that Amanda knew about Brice, another part was nervous because she was going to meet him today.

Eventually I flung the blankets off myself and swung my legs off the side of the bed. I sat there for a moment and rested my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands. My muscles ached from the run I went for last night to clear my mind before I took Brice home.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stretched before I got up. I checked in on Brice just like I did every morning. He was curled up under his blankets fast asleep. I took a quick shower to help myself wake up and get ready for the day. I decided on my blue and white plaid shirt and my dark wash jeans to wear.

I was rolling up my sleeves as I strolled into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. Before I could sit down there was a knock at the door. And before I had even opened the door I knew it was Foss.

"Good morning Foss," I could hear slight grogginess in my voice.

"Hey, Kyle," he said, walking past me.

I went back to the kitchen and he followed.

"So what are you doing here so early?" I finally asked when I sat down at the table to drink my coffee.

"I've been thinking," he paused to take the seat across from me. "The C.I.R was intended to help people with memory loss right?"

"Yeah," I agreed taking a sip of my coffee. "But Madacorp isn't safe to get involved with."

"We don't need Madacorp." He grinned. "We have you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"We already know you can access Amanda's mind. The C.I.R was capable of linking a person's specific memory to a part of their brain. So what if you do the same but unlock the parts of the brain that hold the memories?" He suggested this as if it was the simplest thing in the world to do.

"Theoretically that makes sense Foss, but I wouldn't even know where to start with something like that. I wouldn't want to hurt Amanda," I explained.

He sighed and glanced away from me. "That's the thing… the only person who can help you with this is-" but I cut him off.

"No." My voice was stern.

"Kyle she's the only one who can help us."

I looked down into my almost empty mug.

"She left when I needed her the most," I muttered not looking up at him.

Before he could reply I noticed Brice standing in the door way of the kitchen. He definitely looked like he had just woken up. He was still in his pajamas and holding his stuffed lion.

"Hey Buddy," I smiled and he made his way to me. "Sleep well?" I asked as he climbed up onto the empty chair at the table.

"Uh huh, Uncle Foss what are you doin' here so early?" he questioned.

"Oh, I just came over to talk to your Dad." He explained, ruffling Brice's blond hair, which seemed to be getting a little long. I made a mental note that he needed a hair cut.

"Hungry Bri?" I asked standing up to get his cereal.

"Yeah."

I poured his cereal and sliced up some strawberries for him.

"Kyle, I should head out," Foss said, standing up to leave.

"Alright I'll walk you to the door," I said, setting Brice's breakfast down in front of him and following Foss to the door.

"Look Foss I'm sorry I got upset… I just can't have her back in my life." I said once we were out of ear shot of Brice.

"It's alright Kyle," He placed his hand on my shoulder. "I understand."

Foss left and Brice finished his breakfast and I helped him get ready.

"Okay how about your gray polo and your jeans." This was what I had to do every morning. I suggested clothes to him and as long as he could dress himself he was fine.

He nodded and I handed him his clothes.

"I'm just going to go brush my teeth," I said before leaving his room.

Once we were both set we left to meet Declan and Josh at the tailors for our last tux fittings before the wedding.

"Hey guys," I said once we found Josh and Declan in the fitting rooms of the tailors.

"Hey Kyle, yours and Brice's tuxes are over there," Declan said while pointing to the two tuxes hanging by the door.

"How the hell are you supposed to tie these things?" Josh complained coming out of his dressing room.

I just shook my head. "Josh, language," I reminded him.

"Oh right, sorry," he said and continued playing with his tie.

I helped Brice with his tux then I put my own on.

"Declan we need to talk," Josh said trying his best to be serious. "As Lori's brothers, it is our obligation to do our brotherly duties," he explained and I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"If. You. Hurt. Lori. We. Will. Hurt. You." He emphasized each word.

"You guys don't have anything to worry about I would never hurt her," he said sincerely. And I had no reason to believe otherwise. Declan loved Lori more than anything in the world. He would never hurt her.

"Good," I mumbled patting him on the back.

"Alright these still fit just like they did two weeks ago, so can we get out of here?" Josh asked already starting to take off his suit coat.

"I guess so," Declan said, shrugging off his jacket and heading into the changing room.

We finished up there and Brice and I went off on our own.

"Okay Brice it's just you and me, what do you want to do?" I asked as we walked pasted the shops on the pier.

His eyes lit up. "Ferry boats!" He was almost jumping up and down.

"Okay, ferry boats it is then!" I smiled.

Brice and I stood by the railing and I held him so he could see the water. It amazed me that a simple boat ride could bring him so much joy.

"Hey Bri, I wanted to talk to you about your Mom." I paused choosing my words carefully. "Remember how a few months ago you and Mommy were in an accident?"

I felt him nod against my chest.

"Well Mommy was hurt and she's been staying with grandma Bloom, getting better." I tried to keep it simple. "And I wanted you to know that even though she hasn't been here, she still loves you, okay?"

He lifted his head to look at me with the biggest grin on his face. "When's she coming home, Daddy?"

"Soon, Buddy, soon." I didn't want to get his hopes up just in case Amanda wasn't ready yet.

"I miss Mommy," he mumbled, resting his head back on my chest.

"I know you do…I do too," I said while kissing the top of his hair.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Once the boat docked we went to his favorite pizza place for a late lunch. I sat there and listened to all of his stories very intently. He told me everything from his friends at day care to the color socks he chose to wear. It was nice to be able to be alone with my son for a change. Ever since my internship started, and then the accident, our time together had been minimal.

"How was everything?" the waiter came over and asked when he saw we had finished our lunch.

"It was great thank you!" I smiled kindly taking the bill from him.

"You ready to go?" I asked leaving the cash for our meal and a tip on the table.

"Uh huh," He said scooting off his seat and taking my hand

"Dad, can we go to the park?" Brice asked as walked out of the restaurant.

"Um… Sure Buddy we can do that." I checked the time just to make sure. Amanda said she would be at the apartment around seven; it was only a little after four though.

After I pushed Brice for a while on the swings he ran off to the jungle gym and I sat down on a near by bench to keep an eye on him.

I watched him run around with the other kids and I couldn't help but wonder what he would be like 10 years from now. I couldn't help but wonder what I would be like. I also felt like he was growing up way to fast and I wanted to keep him my little man forever.

I looked at my watch again and it was already 6:30.

"Brice come on buddy we've got to go!" I called, standing up from the bench and waving him over.

"Daddy guess what!" he cheered, running over to me.

"What buddy?" I asked when I took his hand.

"I met this girl…" he paused as if thinking about something. "…I forgot her name, but we're going to get married and live in a castle with fountains that spray chocolate milk…" he trailed off.

"Really?" I chuckled buckling him into his car seat.

"Yeah!"

He went on telling me all about this girl on our way home. When we reached the apartment his story was coming to an end.

"Brice you have to take a bath buddy." I reminded him once we were home.

"But I took one yesterday," he whined.

"Yeah and you've been playing outside all day, you don't want to have to sleep in your own dirt, Buddy," I said as I led him into the bathroom.

I started his bath water and he undressed and hopped in the tub.

"Head back," I said filling a cup with some bath water and rinsing the shampoo out of his hair.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?" I said helping him wash up.

"Thanks for today, I had fun." He smiled and it was one of his true smiles that I hadn't seen in a long time.

"I did too." I said. "Okay you're all clean."

He dried off and changed into his pajamas. I promised him we would watch a movie before bed so I told him to go pick one out.

While he was busy choosing I heard a knock at the door. I knew it was Amanda.

"I'm just going to go see who's at the door; I'll be right back Bri," I told him as I hopped off the couch.

"Hey," I smiled opening the door.

"Hey," she greeted stepping inside.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I whispered, our faces only a few inches apart.

"Yes, I'm sure." I could tell she was nervous but I didn't say anything.

"He's probably going to call you 'Mommy' it's just what he's used to," I warned.

"Alright," she said, following me into the living room.

"Brice," I called and he turned away from his movies.

Before I could say anything Brice was already on his feet running his way over to Amanda.

"Mommy!" he screamed, his arms wide open ready for an embrace.

"Hey sweetie," she was tense but she was also doing really well.

"You're here!" he cheered falling into her arms. "I missed you Mommy,"

"I missed you too," she smiled still holding him tight.

"What do you say to Mommy watching the movie with us?" I asked after a moment.

"Will you Mommy?" He looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Sure,"

We sat down and Brice crawled onto Amanda's lap. I turned the movie on and took the seat beside her. I could hear her heart rate increasing a little so I wrapped my arm around her and reassuringly rubbed her arm. Slowly she calmed back down.

I watched Brice for a moment and could tell he was overjoyed about Amanda being here. He had asked me everyday since the accident when she was coming back and now that she was finally here I knew he never wanted her to leave.

A little more than half way through the movie Brice fell asleep.

"He's beautiful, Kyle," she whispered, gazing over him as he slept on her lap.

"He is," I agreed while brushing a few stray hairs away from his face.

"All I want is to remember and for things to go back to the way they were. So he can have his mom back, and you and I can be together." The determination was quite evident in her voice.

"I know you do," I said kissing her temple gently.

"I should probably go tuck him in." I said scooping his limp body off of Amanda.

I took him into his room and tucked him in under his blankets.

"Good night Buddy." I whispered kissing his forehead.

I left his door cracked open just like I did every night. I found her looking at the pictures hanging in the hallway. The pictures that she had hung up. I watched her for a moment trying to imagine what could possible be going through her mind.

"This one here," I said pointing to the picture of Brice and I, "you took."

"And this one," I pointed to the picture in the middle of the three of us. "Lori took this one; we're sitting on the back porch of the Trager house."

"And this one right here," I pointed to the last picture; it was of her and Brice. "I took that one."

"To be honest, I think I would do just about anything to get my memories back," she said with a slight smile.

She looked at me. Her eye's revealed everything she didn't say. I could see the confusion, the loss: I saw it all.

Then I contemplated what Foss had told me this morning. I hated seeing Amanda this way, part of me wanted to just call Jessi right away, but then I wondered if I would even needed Jessi.

I thought of all the times I had been able to access Amanda's mind she had been asleep. This meant she was in a complete relaxed state. And in the beginning of Jessi figuring out her true identity the only way I had access to her mind was if she was completely relaxed and focused on me.

"Amanda, what if I told you I might be able to help you remember?" I proposed this a little unsure of how she would react. By this point we had made our way back to the living room and she was sitting opposite of me on the couch.

"What do you mean?" I didn't really know how I was going to explain what I was about to do. The only thing I could to was show her.

"Do you trust me?" I asked holding out my hands.

Her eyes darted from me to my hands until she finally took my hands.

"I just want to try something," I mumbled. "I need you to just relax and tune out everything else in the world besides the sound of my voice."

I told her the same thing Nicole had told me when she helped me calm down.

"Let the noise from the street become like static on the radio, until it just disappears all together. Focus on my voice, feel your body start to relax, every muscle start to loosen." I could hear her heart rate drop and I could feel her starting to relax.

The deeper she fell into relaxation the easier it was to focus on her mind. Soon I began to feel the room around us disappear until subconsciously I was no longer in the apartment any more. I was stranding on the side walk in between her house and the Tragers.

I saw a man and a little girl; she couldn't have been more than 6 years old. The man had to be the girl's father because of the resemblance. I watched the interaction for a moment; the man was teaching the girl how to ride a bike. The man held on to the back of the seat and kept the little girl steady as she began to peddle.

"I begged my dad to take off those training wheels." I heard Amanda's voice before I saw her appear beside me.

Then the memory changed, we were no longer on the side walk, we were at a birthday party in the Bloom's back yard.

"All the neighborhood kids were invited. I remember having a vanilla cake with pink frosting," she smiled, explaining the memory.

That memory came to a close and we weren't in her back yard any more. We weren't anywhere. All around us was blackness it was just the two of us.

"How is this happening?" she questioned, fumbling for my hand in the darkness.

"I can't really explain it," I paused. "The only way for you to understand is for me to show you."

"Where do we start?" she asked, gripping tighter to my hand.

"We start at the beginning, the last thing you remember," I smiled.

**AN: So here is a new chapter that I hope you all will like. I know it took me a while to update and I'm sorry for that. I am hoping that the next chapter won't take me as long to write but it might I have a lot planned for the next one. Anyway let me know what everyone thinks, theories, comments, questions, whatever it is all welcome! **


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 31

Walk Down Memory Lane

"18th Floor Balcony"- Blue October

Kyle (POV)

We started off with the last thing she could remember then we watched the first time we met: her teaching me how to swim, talking in my tub or "wallow central", the fair where I had a seizure. We also saw things that I wasn't there for, like when she contemplated her feelings for me verses her feelings for Charlie. We saw our goodbye with out really saying goodbye when I left to live with the Peterson's. Then there was the fight she and Charlie had when he didn't understand why she was sad when I left.

We watched the months go by when I wasn't around. Then finally when I returned. We saw me try to tell her about Charlie until it was too late and she found out the worst way. We saw the tears she cried at home in her bed. Every tear was like a bullet in my heart. She was mad at Charlie for cheating, but she was hurt because I knew and didn't tell her. Then we saw the intruder break into their house. And the memories of the police station along with the conversation with her mother when the truth was finally revealed about Amanda's bracelet. We saw her join me in my tub and she told me about the money troubles her mother had been having along with her forgiving me for not telling her about Charlie.

Then it came to us sitting on her front steps and she received her letter from the conservatory in New York. We saw he tell her mother the news and the contemplation she put into telling me. There was also the dance that she had to sneak out to attend. And the kiss in Lancaster park, after she had helped me with Stephen's father. Then there were the Zzyzx tunnels and her saving my life. We saw the disappointment after I had canceled our date to the concert. Along with the betrayal she felt after she saw how close I had become to Jessi. We watched her listen to me explain about Jessi and she told me about New York. We saw her pack her things and we witnessed the goodbye we thought we might not have.

Then she was on the plane to New York and getting settled in there. As soon as she left she was back, too home sick to stay away. We watched as she snuck out of her house to meet me at the rack. Then there was the argument she had with her mother after. This led to her mother shipping her back off to New York again. We saw the thought she put into purposefully missing her flight to New York and taking a cab back to my house were she spent the first night with me in my tub. We saw her get her first job at the rack, still grounded from seeing me. Then there was prom and all the preparation that had gone into the event. We watched us say we loved each other for the first time, and the abduction from Latnock. This all led up to the secrets I couldn't tell her about in order to protect her, until she couldn't handle the deception any longer and my kiss with Jessi was the last straw.

We stood back stage and saw Amanda sitting in one of the chairs. She looked so hurt, broken, vulnerable. The lady came and gave Amanda, her two minute warning. Amanda stood paced around slowly until I appeared before her.

"_What are you doing here?" _

"_I couldn't let you perform without trying to make things better." I said taking a step closer._

"_I feel so sad." Her voice just above a whisper._

"_I did this to you…Amanda I'm so sorry." _

"_I trusted you..." tears welling up in her eyes._

"_And I broke that trust… I hurt you, I never thought I'd do anything to hurt you but I did." I paused. "I love you so much Amanda."_

"_I love you too…That's why it hurts so badly… It's not that you kissed her…It's that I can feel what's happening between you two."_

"_Amanda nothing-"_

"_I know you don't see it, but its there." She sniffled "I can't be with you, when I know I'm losing you to someone else."_

"_You could never lose me."_

"_I already have." Her voice cracked._

_The lady came back with a one minute warning._

"_I can't do this." Tears were streaming down her cheeks._

"_Let me help you. I know how to fix your problem."_

"_How?" She asked facing me again._

"_If you have any trust left for me at all, let me show you."_

_She nodded and I held her face in my palms as the electric current pulsed through them. I kissed her gently as the electricity transferred. I knew that this kiss could be our last so I didn't want to let her go._

"We broke up?" Amanda whispered as we continued to watch the memory play out.

"Yes for a while." I replied

_The lady came back again telling Amanda it was her turn._

"_I have to go now." She murmured and by then she wasn't the only one who was choked up._

_She walked out onto the stage and began to play. She was playing at her best and it broke my heart to know that she might be playing on without me._

When the memory ended I remembered thinking about how her music had brought us together.

"We broke up because you kissed Jessi." She stated not looking at me.

"Yes." I whispered ashamed of what I had done. "Do you want to continue?" I wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Yes." She nodded taking my hand again.

We watched the memories that followed, ones of awkwardness between her and me, and conversations between her and Nate, along with small things here and there just about her daily life.

A new memory started one that I wasn't apart of but I knew it must have happened after the Chemistry party at Latnock. Amanda was sitting at the rack drinking a cup of coffee just finishing a conversation with Nate. When he left he passed Jessi on her way in.

"_Please Jessi leave me alone," she begged._

"_I'm sorry about tonight," Jessi admitted._

"_For once you weren't the one responsible." _

"_Yes, I am." She mumbled taking a step forward. "I messed with you necklace, I wanted you to get together with Nate."_

"_Why?" Amanda shook her head._

"_Because if you were with him…Then I could…" she trailed off._

"_You could be with Kyle," Amanda finished._

"_But it doesn't matter what I do…Even if you were with Nate, Kyle would still want to be with you. And you want to be with him. I see the way you watch him when you know he's not looking. You still love him." _

"_Doesn't matter, I can't let myself get hurt again." The way she said it looked as if she was building a barrier around herself, but on the inside she knew Jessi's words were true._

"_Forget what you think you know about him. All he's ever done is love you with his whole heart." You could tell Jessi was having a hard time admitting this._

"_Why are you telling me this?"_

"_Because I care about him… and you told me when you care about somebody you put their needs first. Kyle needs you. So I won't be getting in your way any more." Jessi said before leaving._

Amanda had never told me about this so I was seeing this for the first time. We watched as Amanda sat at the counter and contemplated what Jessi had said. It was a side of Jessi she had never seen. A side I rarely saw myself. She was showing maturity, self-righteousness.

"Wow we actually got along for a minute there." She smiled.

"It didn't happen that often," I chuckled.

The memory changed again this time Amanda and I were watching from the Trager's back porch. We saw myself walk out from the kitchen and Amanda walk up the steps.

"_Kyle,"_

"_Amanda I…I didn't think you'd want to see me," I admitted._

"_I don't want to be mad anymore. I feel like that's all I've been lately." She sighed. "I'm so confused about what to think of you…and the only thing I can do to get through it is to follow my heart…My heart says that there's still something there." _

_There was silence until she spoke again._

"_Please say something."_

We could see the tears fill the brim of my eyes.

_"Amanda…This person I am…This life I lead it's…Its different than anyone else's…I'm different." _

_ "I know that."_

_ "You know some of it…But there are things that I can never tell you…And people who want things from me who know that the way to get to me is through the people I love."_

_ "What does that mean 'get to you'?" She seemed so frustrated._

_ "It means that as much as I want us to be together, we can't."_

_ "Why does that get to be your choice?" _

_ "Because my choice is to protect you…Always." _

_ "You don't need to protect me…What you need to do is explain," she pleaded._

Watching myself I wish I had explained everything to her right there. But I didn't.

_"I'm sorry…But I can't…"_

She back away and left hurt and even more confused. Amanda and I didn't say anything we just continued through the next couple of memories. Mainly just her trying to understand why I was trying to protect her. Then a new memory started of her and Nate.

We watched him open the door to his apartment.

_"So this is it, my domain." _

_ "Wow."_

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself I knew that Amanda wasn't impressed she was just being nice.

_"You must study a lot," she said, looking over the stacks of books. _

_ "There's always someone studying more." _

_"Why do you make everything a competition?" _

_ "Wow. Direct."_

_ "Sorry…" she said._

_ "No…No, I think I need that. You should call my out on my stuff, that's good. Can I get you anything?"_

_ "I could use a soda." _

_ "Machine's right down stairs," he said before leaving._

Amanda and I hovered by the window watching as the memory version of Amanda looked around Nate's apartment. She scanned over the pictures until she stumbled upon some notes. They were notes about Adam Baylin, Pod diagrams, things about Zzyzx. She quickly cleaned them up before Nate came back.

_"You're beverage, my lady," he said, handing her the can of soda._

_ "Thank you."_

_ "You okay?" _

_ "Fine." _

"What was so funny about that memory?" Amanda questioned once that memory was over.

"Nothing…" I smiled and she glared at me.

Then Amanda's memories changed again and she was at my window telling me what she had seen at Nate's apartment. From there it went to a conversation she had with Lori at the rack to talking with her mother to another discussion with Jessi.

Amanda was at my window again hoping to find me but she found Jessi instead.

"_I imagine you're not dropping off another lasagna," Jessi inquired, opening the window._

"_I'll come back later," Amanda scuffed. _

"_Sorry, but you can't leave."_

"_Why?" Amanda asked._

"_Because you've seen me," Jessi says matter-of-factly_

"_Not following."_

"_I'm supposed to be missing and if you go and tell you new boyfriend that I'm not, you'll ruin everything."_

"_He's not my boyfriend," she defended. "He's not anything anymore. I told Kyle I'd stay away from him, but he still has all that stuff about Kyle in his dorm room."_

"_Why didn't you just take it?"_

"_I don't know, because that would be stealing." _

"_But Nate stole it in the first place."_

"_I guess it just didn't occur to me, alright. I'm not as smart as you!"_

"_That's true," Jessi agrees._

"_I just came by to say Nate's working till ten tonight. So if Kyle wants to get into the room, he can," Amanda explained._

"_Kyle's not home right now."_

"_Then you do it." _

"_I can't go anywhere."_

"_You still haven't explained that," Amanda reminded her._

"_And I don't plan on it. Look unfortunately you're going to have to do it."_

"_Do what? Break into his room and steal his files?"_

"_I was thinking fire bomb, but…okay."_

I shook my head thinking of how they acted toward one another. They hated each other yet I was the one thing they had in common. Now the memory was back to Nate's dorm room.

"_Can you hear me?" Amanda asked putting the ear piece in and opening Nate's laptop._

"_Yeah, I can hear you," Jessi replied. "I'm going to ghost his system, so basically it will be like I'm sitting right where you are. Less chance for operator error."_

We see Amanda roll her eyes.

"_Okay open up the system's file, I need you to get his I.P. Address…If you know what-"_

"_I know what that it, save the sarcasm," Amanda cut her off._

"_Type it in to the share post box down at the bottom. And change all the settings to allow."_

We see her type a few things in.

"_Perfect." Jessi paused. "Wow, there's a lot of stuff here, Nate's been collecting."_

"_About Kyle?"_

"_See for yourself."_

She shakes her head. _"I've wanted to know his secrets for so long…and here it all is."_

"_Yeah, well take a good look."_

"_No, when he's ready to tell me then it will mean something, for now this is just weird." _

"_Always the good girl?" Jessi nagged._

"_Not all of us can be as wild as you, Jessi."_

"_Apparently you can," Nate said, walking in and taking Amanda off guard. _

"_Nate!"_

He questions Amanda and then he decides on calling someone but we don't know who, we can only hear his end of the conversation.

"_Yeah, I just caught Kyle's girlfriends going through my stuff...Yeah, Amanda and Jessi...Well if she was she isn't anymore," he said before hanging up._

"_I told you I didn't see anything," Amanda pleaded._

"_Yeah, I wish I could believe that," he said, taking a step closer. "I really do."_

We see Amanda's eye's dart from Nate to the door and Nate notices it to. Amanda gets up to run but Nate grabs her and throws her to the floor. Seeing this made me want to kill Nate, even though he wasn't the real Nate. Before anything else can happen Jessi breaks down the door and immediately attacks Nate. We see Amanda take a vase and crack it on Nate's head.

"_Why did you do that?" Jessi seemed rather annoyed._

"_I thought you could use the help."_

"_We have to get the files and get moving he's not going to be out for long." _

"_Why not?" Amanda asks _

"_Because you don't hit hard enough," Jessi spat._

I saw that Nate started to wake up and reach for Amanda. But she just punches him right in the face knocking him out again.

"_Better?" Amanda smirked._

Jessi ignores it and starts collecting all the files.

"_We're okay. Nate's out cold." _

We see Jessi search through the papers on the desk and she finds Sarah's ring that Nate had taken from Cassidy.

"_That ring looks a lot like the one Kyle wears around his neck," Amanda stated._

"_Nate stole it from Cassidy…It belonged to my mother," she said, slipping it on her finger. "So I guess you kind of helped me find it." _

"_And you saved me so… I guess we're even."_

Jessi goes back to looking at the papers.

"_Look, I know we've never really gotten along but… I don't know I feel like we might be a little closer than before. So I think its only fair that I tell you…" Amanda trails off._

"_Tell me what?" _

"_I'm going to tell Kyle that I want him back," Amanda stated._

_Jessi stands up. "You really have the nerve to say that? After everything that's happen tonight?"_

"_Like I said, fair warning…You deserve it."_

_Jessi raises an eyebrow. "You're a lot braver than I thought."_

We see Jessi sit back down and continue going through the documents.

"_Origin?" Jessi questions._

"_What is it?"_

"_I don't believe it…" Jessi says reading over the document. "Grace Kingsly…She can't be," Jessi said, more to herself than anyone else. _

**(AN: Okay so the memory that were just mentioned actually happened in the show. Except for the last part were Jessi was talking about Grace Kingsly I added that. The next memories are things that I've come up with that I think could have happened.)**

We continued to watch as Jessi scrambled to gather what ever information Nate had been collecting. As soon as everything had been copied and deleted Jessi was on the phone with Foss telling him to meet them at the Tragers house.

"_Jessi, what's going on?" Amanda finally asked once they were in the car. "Who's Grace Kingsly?" _

"_Did Nate ever say anything about a man named Michael Cassidy?" Jessi asked, keeping her eyes on the road._

"_Yeah, he was apart of the group at UW. He ran it or something," Amanda rambled. "But what does he have to do with anything?"_

"_Kyle, Cassidy, and Grace are all related. Kyle and Cassidy are half brothers."_

"_Grace is their mother," Amanda concluded._

"_Unfortunately," Jessi mumbled putting the car in park in the Trager's driveway._

We saw them both jump out of the car and run into the house. Foss was already there when they found their way into the kitchen and saw me holding Cassidy's throat in my hand.

"_Kyle stop," Foss was firm; he had on hand on my arm. "This isn't who you are." _

The girls stay back a little letting Foss handle things. This memory still haunted me and it was strange to see it from Amanda's perspective. Finally we saw me release my clutch on Cassidy and slowly back away.

"_I…I did…I." _We saw Cassidy's body fall limp.

"_Kyle…" Amanda said, taking a few steps closer to me_

"_I'm sorry… I…" _

We could see that I was sobbing in shock of what I had done. We watched Amanda hold me and I kept apologizing over and over. Myself, I hadn't paid attention to what Jessi and Foss were doing, but in this memory, Amanda had.

"_Jessi, I can't feel a pulse," Foss whispered _

That memory ended and I was ashamed to look at Amanda. What she did surprised me a little she placed her hand on my cheek and pulled my face so that I was looking at her. She didn't say anything…She didn't have to.

The next memory was of Foss explaining to the Trager's what had happened and what he had done to take care of it. Then the memory jumped a few days. Amanda was on the front porch of the Trager house waiting for someone to answer. Stephen did.

_"Hey Mr. Trager, How is he…?" she asked, stepping inside._

_ "The same as yesterday." He frowned. "He's still in his room if you want to see him."_

Amanda went back to my room. It was a mess notes were everywhere trying to prove that what Cassidy had said and what Jessi had seen weren't true. That Grace wasn't my birth mother. But it was useless to prove the truth wrong.

_"Kyle?" _

We could see my eyes dart over to her in acknowledgment then back to nothing as the memory me sat in my tub. She didn't say anything but she climbing into the tub and sat across from me. No words were spoken but her being there let me know she still cared. For the life of me I couldn't understand why. She knew no reasoning for what I had done, not yet anyway.

Then it changed again to something I didn't know Amanda had over heard. She was going out to her car when she heard Jessi and I arguing over the fence.

_"I can't just move on and go about my life as if I did NOTHING!" I shouted._

_ "Kyle, he was going to hurt you, he was going to hurt your family. You did what you had to," Jessi tried to reason._

_ "I did what I had to," I scoffed. "He was my BROTHER!"_

_ "No, he was not your brother. Josh is your brother. Lori is your sister. And Stephen and Nicole they are your parents. They are your family. Grace and Cassidy may have shared your blood but they aren't your family and never have been." _

There weren't any more shouts just the sound of a door slamming.

Amanda didn't know this but this argument between Jessi and I took place about two weeks before she left. I hadn't noticed until now how much emphasis Jessi had put on the Tragers being my family.

Gradually things got better though, the memories seemed to consist of Amanda trying to get through to me and little by little she did. Soon enough Brice was in my life.

_"Is this him?" Amanda asked, taking the seat across from me at the table at the rack. It was a slow day so she could go on her break while Josh took over the register._

_ "Yeah, this is Brice," I smiled. He was sleeping in the stroller while I was reading over the 'help wanted' adds. _

_ "He's adorable Kyle." She smiled. "Have you decided what you're going to do?"_

_ "About adopting him? Yeah, I think I'm going to go through with it." _

We saw Amanda nod as if to continue.

_"I think if I didn't I would regret it…Beside things in my life are finally getting back to normal…He needs me." I whispered the last part while peering into the stroller where he slept._

The memories to follow were of me telling her everything about my past, the custody trial over Brice, his birthday, us moving to Dartmouth, Foss's heart transplant, her mother's engagement and wedding, our graduation from college, moving back to Seattle, our engagement, our first time together, our announcement of our engagement along with the accident which seemed to be the hardest to relive.

We saw Amanda place Brice in his car seat and her climb into the front seat and start the car. As she pulled away from her mom's house she waved goodbye. She checked the review mirror a few times to make sure Brice was alright, it was pretty late and he had fallen asleep.

_"We're almost home sweetie," she said gently._

They crossed the intersection not two blocks from our apartment and were t-boned from a drunk driver running a red light. We saw Amanda smack her head on the side window, then slump over the wheel. Things started to become pieces. You could hear the sirens of the police and ambulance and every so often she would come to.

_"Where's Brice…? Is he okay?" she would ask every so often. _

Then she blacked out for a while and woke up in the hospital. We didn't need to see any more so the hospital room we were in turned to darkness. We weren't anywhere again.

"That's it Amanda… That's everything in the past six years," I whispered.

She had tears in her eyes but she smiled. "It feels so good to remember." She laughed and I did too wiping away the stray tears. "I can't even….I can't explain it."

I wrapped her in my arms and held her until I began to feel the apartment around us again. We were becoming more aware.

I woke up and she was still in my arms her back leaning into my chest.

"Welcome back." I whispered kissing the top of her head as she began to wake up as well.

**AN: Hey everyone I know it's been a long, **_**LONG**_** time since I've updated and I feel really bad about that, I'm really sorry! I've been doing some climbing and visiting some family and friends in Europe for the past month. I haven't really had that much access to internet so that is why I haven't been able to update. I do have drafts written for the next two chapters so I'll try to get those up in the next week. Well I hope everyone likes this chapter and let me know what you think! **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 32

Bitter Sweet

""-

Kyle (POV)

It had been a little over two weeks since Amanda had recovered her memories. Our families were overjoyed to hear the good news. Everyone was glad that things would be going back to normal and they were happy for Amanda. But this week seemed to be really busy due to Declan and Lori's wedding, which was in the morning. Lori was ecstatic when Amanda agreed to be one of the bridesmaids. I didn't know how and I wasn't about to ask but they had managed to get a dress for Amanda in such a short time.

I was working at the hospital tonight even though my shift started at ten this morning and I wouldn't be going home till around two in the morning, I didn't mind; night shifts were always quieter than day shifts. I finished up the last few notes in my chart then went and got the scans from the lab that Dr. Ford needed. Once I had them I double backed to his office.

"Hello Dr. Ford I picked up those scans for you," I said, placing the folder on his desk.

"Thanks, Kyle." He snatched them up and slipped the scans out of the folder clipping them to the light box behind him.

I peered over his shoulder, the patient had three golf ball sized tumors: One in the frontal lobe, and the other two in the right hemisphere of the brain.

"Damn it…" He sighed.

"Those are Collin's," I concluded.

"Yeah," he tore down the scans and flipped off the light box. "The cancer has spread, his treatment isn't working.

"What do we do now?" I knew the answer but I hoped he would say some thing else.

"Prep him for surgery." This would be Collin's fourth surgery this year.

I followed him out the door, both of us knowing we had to tell his mom.

"Miss. Davidson?" Dr. Ford motioned for her to step outside.

We took her to a more privet room. The whole time we walked down the hall I kept my eyes on the folder in Dr. Ford's hand. This folder changed everything, Collin was just a kid: he didn't deserve this! A child with cancer was unjustified cruelty.

We took her to the conference room and sat down at the big oak table.

"I know this is bad, the only reason you would take me to a different room is if you were telling me something bad. If it were good you would tell me in front of Collin. And I'd want you guys to do that." She rambled, not looking at either of us.

"Miss. Davidson," he took a deep breath, the kind you take when you know you have to say something but you don't know how, and you're stalling. "You're right…This is defiantly not good news."

I saw the glint of hope she had left in her eyes disappear.

"Collin's treatments haven't been working like we had hopped it would." I took out the scans to show Julia. "The cancer has actually spread."

Being a father I could only imagine what she must being thinking. You do everything to protect them but you never see something like this coming.

"Where do we go from here? More chemo? Surgery?"

"We would do another surgery but with the size and proximity of the tumors…. There are risks….60%..." Dr. Fords gave her the statistics.

"Death rate…" she concluded, wiping away her tears.

"Yes."

"Without surgery, how long?" she asked, her eyes focused on the table.

"A few months. Maybe."

We sat in silence for a long time. Dr. Fords and I wanted to stay with her in case she had questions. Eventually she ordered us to leave saying she had to make some phone calls.

"Page us if you need us and when you've made your decision. We know this is difficult." There it was: the distant, unattached voice that somehow came off concerned.

Many doctors used the same voice when they consoled a patient or a family member. I wondered if it helped them deal with things. If they didn't become attached then it would make it easier to do things like tell a person their child is dying.

Once we were out of the room he turned to me. "Go check on other patients, if you finish with that go help out at the clinic. I'll page you when I need you."

When I had finished with the patients on Dr. Ford's schedule I made my way down to the clinic to help out. There really wasn't much to do, I put a cast on a broken arm, I stitched up a few gashes but other than that it was pretty slow. Even through Dr. Ford hadn't paged me I still wondered back up to the surgical wing, after the doctor running the clinic said 'there wasn't a need for me to be down there when it was so quiet.'

I passed Collin's room and saw him lying in his bed looking burnt out. It looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, when that was all he had the energy to do lately.

"Hey, Collin," I said, leaning in the doorway.

"Hello, Dr. Kyle," he whispered, trying to keep his eyes open. "Have you seen my mom?"

"Last time I saw her she was making a few phone calls…She should be here soon though," I added.

"Oh…" he trailed off.

I was about to ask if he needed anything but he had already drifted back to sleep. I crept over to his bed and pulled his blankets closer to him. As I was leaving I almost ran into Julia.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She apologized for almost spilling her coffee on me.

"No, it was my fault."

"How's he doing?" she asked craning her neck to peer over my shoulder. Which didn't really work considering she was about 5'4 and I was a little over six feet.

"He's just really tired…" I replied.

"I don't know what to do…I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him. If he has the surgery he could die, but if he doesn't he'll die either way…" she whispered.

"Julia this is definitely not something I would wish on a family… But as hard as this is Collin should know what is going on with his own body, he's the one going through this." I caringly placed my hand on her arm.

"I should talk to him…" I could barely hear her so I didn't know if I was meant to. I just stepped aside and she walked passed.

It was a little after two in the morning now which meant my shift was over and I could go home. I said a quick goodbye to Dr. Ford before I grabbed my things from my locker and headed out to my car, not bothering to change into my street clothes. The roads were pretty quiet for a Friday night; everyone must have still been out at the bars or asleep at home. When I pulled into my parking space in the parking garage I cut the engine and grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat.

When I unlocked the door to the apartment I quietly set my keys on the table in the hallway and slipped out of my shoes. I checked on Brice before I went and got in my own bed with Amanda. He was sprawled out with his blankets kicked to the end of his bed.

"Good night buddy," I whispered, pulling up his blankets for him and kissed his forehead before I left his room.

I stripped off my scrubs and changed into a pair of black jogging pants, and then I crawled into bed with Amanda.

This was one of the many things I had missed when Amanda was staying at her Mom's house. Just being able to hold her in my arms as we slept, being able to be close to her. Especially after a hard day at work having her close seemed to calm me. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I could hear two voices in the kitchen as I drifted into consciousness. I rubbed my eyes and really started to wake up; I was able to match to voices to Lori and Amanda without a problem. I sat up and swung my legs off the side of the bed, when I caught a glimpse of the clock it was only a little after eight.

"Morning," I greeted as I entered the kitchen.

"Kyle good you're awake! This is for you." She handed me a piece of paper and as I scanned it over I realized it was an itinerary for the day. "I figured that you're the most responsible guy, so you're in charge."

"Do you want any coffee, sweetie?" Amanda asked, getting up to replenish her own cup.

"Yeah, thank you," I said, taking the empty seat at the table.

"So the guys are going to be at your apartment, right?" I asked, looking over all the tasks Lori had broken down into hourly intervals.

"Yes and this apartment is _off limits_ to Declan!" She emphasized 'off limits'.

"The groom isn't allowed to see the bride before the wedding; it's another one of those wedding superstitions," Amanda explained, setting a cup of coffee in front of me.

"Thank you." I leaned forward a little to give her a kiss.

"You're welcome," she replied with another kiss, both of us forgetting Lori was there.

I finished my coffee then hopped in the shower. When I was shaving I could hear Brice wake up and wonder into the kitchen. I rinsed off all the extra shaving cream when I was done and rubbed on some after shave. I grabbed my dark wash jeans and my cream colored waffle shirt from my side of the closet and quickly dressed.

I noticed there was one more person in the kitchen this time when I wondered back in there.

"Hello, Andy." I greeted her with a hug.

"Hey, Kyle," she returned the hug.

"Kyle, Amanda is getting Brice dressed, are you ready?" Lori asked putting her cup in the sink.

I nodded.

"Okay when Brice is ready you need to get over to my apartment and make sure that Declan and Josh are getting ready and not playing G-Force," she harked.

"Yes ma'am," I muttered and Andy laughed but Lori just glared at me.

Before anyone could say anything further there was an impatient knock at the door followed by the door just opening.

"Well hello all who are fabulous!" Hillary dashed in.

"Aunt Hillary!" I heard Brice call from his room then he ran to the hallway.

"Hello little muffin!" I wasn't 'little muffin' anymore, I hadn't been that since high-school.

She joined us in the kitchen with Brice in her arms, Amanda following behind her.

"Hey, Hillary," I welcomed her taking Brice from her. "Buddy we have to get going."

"Why?"

"Because the girls are getting ready here well us boys get ready for the wedding at Uncle Declan's." I explained walking to the hallway, slipping on my jacket then helping him with his.

Amanda made her way into the hallway to say goodbye to us.

"We'll see you at the church," I gave her a quick kiss then put my lips to her ear. "If this is too much for you just tell me."

"Kyle, I'm fine you don't have to worry," she whispered back into my ear.

I scanned her face to find any false tone that would give her away, but it was useless.

"Okay, well we'll see you later," I said and she kneeled down to Brice's level to tell him a quick goodbye.

We left and crossed the hall to Declan and Lori's apartment that they had just moved into a month ago.

Even though Lori would be disappointed we ended up playing xbox for a couple hours before Stephen and Declan's father Vince came and made us start getting ready.

We were all pretty much dressed we were just tying our ties and putting our vests on.

"Hey dad, could you help me?" Declan asked after giving up on his tie.

I looked up from helping Brice with his own tie and smiled. I knew Declan's history with his dad and I knew how happy he was to see his dad had actually shown up.

"We all set?" Stephen asked as I slipped on my tux jacket.

"I think so; we still have half an hour till we have to be at the church though." Declan added.

"Well I think it might be better if we're a little early rather than a little late."

"Besides, our limo is down stairs," Josh piped up, peeking out the window to the traffic on the street outside the building.

We filed out of the apartment and downstairs to the limo that took us to the church. When we arrived most of the guests had already arrived as well.

"Are you okay?" I asked Declan, we were standing in the hall of the church, he had just poked his head outside to the garden were all the guests were seated and were the ceremony would be held.

"Yeah, fine," his answered quickly.

"Nervous?"

"Maybe a little, I'm not nervous about marrying Lori. I love her. It's just I don't want to screw up, I don't want to fail her," he mumbled. "I want to be able to give her everything she's ever wanted."

"Declan," I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Lori loves you; she's marrying you because you are 'everything' to her, you don't have to worry."

"Thanks Kyle," and that's when I understood what people meant about the purpose of a best man were.

"Just doing my job," I smirked and he laughed.

"Declan, you have to escort your mother to her seat. Kyle, you too, you have to escort your mother as well." Vince poked his head into the room we were in.

Declan's parents were divorced so there was a little bit of tension between them when we found them in the hall that over looked the garden.

"I guess I'm your escort," I joked holding out my arm to Nicole.

She laughed and wrapped her arm around mine. We waited for Declan to escort his mother to her seat then I walked Nicole to her seat. Josh escorted their grandmother on Nicole's side. Josh and I went back into the hall and Declan stayed at the front of the garden by Father Jacob.

The girls were all ready to go, Brice would escort Hillary, I would escort Amanda, and Josh would escort Andy. The flower girl, who was Declan's cousin's daughter, would lead in front of Stephen and Lori.

Hillary and Brice went first and the guests 'awed' when they saw Brice leading Hillary down the aisle. Then Amanda and I went and Josh and Andy followed after us. The guests then stood in anticipation of Lori. The flower girl was a few steps ahead of Stephen and Lori tossing her violet peddles on the stone pathway.

We saw Stephen give Lori away to Declan; even he was a little teary eyed. That was nothing compared to Lori though, through out the ceremony Hillary kept giving Lori tissues.

"Lori Marie Trager and Declan Christopher McDonough, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Declan didn't hesitate for a minute to wrap his arms around Lori and kiss her for the first time as husband and wife. Then the guests cheered Lori and Declan back down the aisle.

The reception party was on a boat that docked in downtown Seattle that Lori had rented for the night. The tables had been covered with white cloth and had room for eight guests. The dance floor was lit with strands of lights that hung above. The boat circled the harbor and it gave a beautiful view of the night sky line.

Everyone received their food and was laughing over conversations. Drinks were going around and people seemed to be really enjoying themselves, granted I didn't know half of them.

Soon it was time to cut the cake and we watched Declan and Lori shove vanilla cake into each other's faces. Then came time for the best man and maid of honor to give their toasts, Hillary went first.

"Well Mr. and Mrs. McDonough, all I have to say is _finally_!" The guests laughed and she continued. "Lori we've been best friends since freshman year of high-school and we've been through it all together. Then in our junior year of high-school, Declan, you came along and I knew that there was something different between you and Lori because I knew you weren't like all the other high-school couples that wouldn't even last a month. And I was right because here you guys are married and ready to start your lives together. Just remember though marriage isn't about finding the one person in the world that you can live with it's about finding the one person that you _can't_ live without." She smiled at Lori and Declan for a moment. "I wish you both the best of luck and congratulations."

Everyone applauded and she passed the microphone to me.

"As of right now Lori and Declan, things in your lives are falling into place and it's up to you to decide what falls were, and no matter what happens in your lives everything will be okay because you've found someone to face it all with. Just remember to do things that you would never do before, if you wake up one morning and want to fly to Paris go for because before you know it your life will have passed you by. You should be able to look back on it with the one you love and appreciate it no matter what happened. As Ida Scott Taylor once said 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it beautiful.' So to my sister Lori and my best friend Declan I love you both and I wish you the best."

I hugged Declan and he thanked me.

"You made me cry again," Lori sniffled quietly when I hugged her.

"I'm sorry," I whispered back.

"It was a beautiful toast, thank you Kyle."

Shortly after, the DJ announced Declan and Lori's first dance as husband and wife. Then couples began to join them on the dance floor. Amanda and I swayed together just enjoying one another's company.

"Brice is dancing with Hillary," I chuckled, twirling a little so Amanda could see.

"He's having fun," she laughed, and then I watched her gaze shift to Lori and Declan. "They look so happy."

"It's been a while since I've seen them this happy," I whispered.

"Soon it will be our wedding," she replied.

"Can't wait," I grinned, touching my lips to hers.

After a few songs I was able to steel Lori away for a dance.

"Did you know that Josh isn't that bad of a dancer?" she asked.

"Where do you think I learned to dance?" I laughed a little. "You look beautiful tonight Lori."

"Aww thank you!" She blushed.

After many hours of dancing, and Josh catching the guarder and Andy catching the bouquet the party began to die down around midnight and the boat docked. I carried Brice's limp body to the car after saying goodbye to Lori and Declan. Amanda got into the front seat and I drove us home. I had one hand on the wheel and the other around Amanda's hand.

**AN: Alright everyone here's another update! Tell me what you think, comments, thoughts whatever it's all welcome! Thank you for reading!**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 33

Destiny

"Never Say Never"- The Fray

Kyle (POV)

It had been a little over a month since Lori and Declan's wedding they had just came back from their honeymoon in Jamaica two weeks ago. Today was supposed to be my day off but it was three o'clock in the afternoon and I had been paged for surgery. I was in the middle of playing basketball with Declan at the park when I got the page. But I guess that was all a part of being a doctor though.

I received a '199' for Collin, his tumors were getting worse and now there wasn't any option other than surgery or he wouldn't make it through the night. This was his last chance.

I was making a few notes in his chart while Dr. Ford went over the surgery with Julia.

"Dr. Kyle?" he asked to get my attention. His voice was so weak.

I looked up at him. He looked like a ghost, his skin white as snow with deep, dark purple rings under his eyes.

"Am…Am I…going to die?"

His words stunned me. How was I supposed to answer that, he was only a child. Children weren't supposed to be going through this; they shouldn't have to worry about death. It wasn't right.

"Collin…"

"Please Dr. Kyle; you're the only one who ever tells me how bad things really are…" He was pleading with me.

"Collin… I won't say there isn't a chance that you could die…" He looked away from me and out the small window in his room. "Dr. Ford is a very good surgeon, you-"

"Then why is it back?" he had anger in his voice, it was faint but it was there.

Dr. Ford and Julia came back before I had the chance to say anything.

"Collin if you're ready we'll take you down to the O.R.," Dr. Ford said.

Collin and Julia said 'goodbye' and 'I love you' for the second time then we wheeled him through the halls down to the O.R.

I lifted his frail body onto the operating table: he was too weak to do it himself. When I lifted him up I felt like I was lifting my four year old son not an eight year old child.

The nurses continued getting things ready when Dr. Ford and I went to scrub in.

"This isn't right," he grumbled, scrubbing his hands and forearms vigorously. "He shouldn't be on my table about to have his head cut open; he should be outside running around being a normal kid. Living…"

He was right. We both knew the odds of this surgery being a success, which were minimal. I finished scrubbing my hands and dried them with a paper towel.

"You and I both know the likelihood of him making it through this surgery…But he still has hope, and we can't take that away from him…Because it's all he has left."

He nodded. I felt bad for Dr. Ford; he always invested all he had into his patients. It was his strength but it was also his weakness.

We went back into the O.R and the nurses slipped our gloves on and I took my place at the side of Collin's head.

"Okay Collin, Dr. Emerson is going to give you some medicine that will help you sleep. You won't feel a thing, I promise." I looked down at him on the table, then nodded to Dr. Emerson and slowly Collin began to drift off.

Dr. Fords made his first cut and I held the suction. Everything was going well considering the size and condition of the tumor. With tumors you never really know to what extent they are until the patient was cut open. Collin was no exception.

"This is a mess…" Dr. Ford mumbled, when he cut away at the tumor there was just more underneath.

We had been at it for almost four hours now.

"Damn it!" Dr. Fords said breaking the silence that had filed the O.R. "Dr. Trager, he's losing a large amount of blood, I need you to use more suction."

"B.P's dropping," The head scrub nurse alerted us.

"I can't find the source of this bleeding!" he admitted.

The flat line filled the room and a slight panic arose.

"Get the paddles!" He barked moving from the head of his table to Collin's side. "Charge 200…Clear!"

Collin's body flopped but his heart didn't respond.

"Charge 300… Clear!"

The flat line continued.

"Charge 400… Clear!"

No change.

"Come on… Come ON!" Dr. Ford switched to compressions even though they were useless.

He went on for almost an hour before calling it.

"Time of death 19:42."

I stood there unable to move. Unable to speak. Unable to think. I don't know how long we stood there in silence before Dr. Ford came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder and led me to the scrub room.

"Do you work tomorrow?" he asked once we finished scrubbing out. I nodded. "I don't want to see you here till Monday."

I was about to argue but he stopped me.

"When I lost my first patient that I had become invested in, the way you have with Collin, my attending told me that you can't save everyone. I've found truth in that time and time again." He sighed. "I don't want you to blame yourself because I know that is exactly what you'll do because it's what I did. The guilt almost ate me alive. I don't want that to happen to you Kyle because you're the kind of doctor who has the most to offer."

I was standing in the doorway about to leave when he said that.

"How do you deal with it?" I asked not turning to look at him.

"I'm still trying to figure that out…" I could hear the sadness in his voice, the longing for an answer to a question that shouldn't have to be asked.

We left the scrub room, both knowing what we had to do.

"You don't have to do this." He stopped me right outside Collin's old room. "I can do this alone."

"No, I want to be there," I said opening the door.

"Julia… There were some complications with Collin's surgery," Dr. Ford said calmly as we took our seats in the empty chairs in the room.

"Complications?" Worry coated her voice.

"Collin's body has been through so much it just couldn't handle another surgery…His heart began to fail from the stress…" He didn't go into detail about how he almost bled out on the table. "I'm so sorry…We did all we could."

I noticed how Dr. Ford lingered away from the phrase 'he didn't make it.' Instead he used words that implied that.

She didn't say anything she just cried. I placed a hand on her shoulder and felt the sobs shake through her body.

"I'm sorry…" I would say every so often.

Eventually she asked us to leave saying she wanted to be alone. Dr. Ford told me to go home so I went to the locker room to get my things.

I changed out of my scrubs and into the street clothes I had came here in. Jeans and a white t-shirt under a black sweater.

When I got home Amanda and Brice weren't there. Just a note on the counter saying she was dropping him off at my parents and would be home soon. Brice was staying the night there, and then tomorrow night we were all going to celebrate his fourth birthday together.

I sighed and went out to the balcony. I was a little glad they weren't home; it gave me a chance to be alone with my thoughts.

It was times like this that I wished Adam were still alive. He was the only one who ever really thought the way I did or even viewed the world the way I did. Even Jessi didn't always understand things in the same why I did.

How was I supposed to help people but also keep my family safe? Would I have even been able to save Collin? Or was his cancer too far advanced?

I was torn between saving stranger's lives and protecting my own family. Then again who was I to play god, if it was their time and I had done everything I medically could, wasn't that enough?

"Kyle?" I heard Amanda call but I didn't answer, I knew she would find me.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked but I didn't turn to look at her.

"Kyle, what's wrong?" She placed her hand on my cheek and forced me to look at her.

"Please tell me what's wrong." I noticed the change in her heart beat, it was more anxious now.

"It's nothing."

"Kyle don't do this, we aren't 17 anymore, don't keep things from me." Her voice was stern.

To be honest I didn't really understand why I didn't just tell her. I guess part of me didn't want to mix my work life with my family life.

"I…I lost a patient today…He was only eight…I guess it just got to me." I clenched my jaw a little; my eyes darted away from her.

"I'm sorry…" She had no reason to be sorry but I knew what she meant.

I engulfed her in my arms, having her close seemed to calm me. "If anything were to happen to you or Brice-"

"Nothing will happen to us, we're fine." She mumbled into my chest.

I stretched my neck down to her and touched my lips to hers. She locked her lips to mine and her hands traveled through my hair. Suddenly my thoughts were only focused on her, nothing else mattered. I was able to take myself away from anything that plagued my mind with worry or doubt. The only thing that mattered was what was happening in this very minute.

I pulled her close as we fumbled back into the apartment. We were almost to the bedroom and her legs were locked around my waist. She managed to slip of my sweater and I was working on her blouse. We were at the edge of the bed when I set her down and she pulled me with her.

She laid in my arms after, both our hearts still a flutter.

"Are you okay?" I asked kissing her bare shoulder.

"I'm fine, why?" she asked, twisting in my arms.

"Well it's just the first time since the accident…I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She smiled. "Well than I'm wonderful." She giggled, pressing her lips lightly to mine.

She fell asleep shortly after, she looked so beautiful. I stared up at the ceiling for the longest time. There was a crisp breeze flowing through the window, the cool air glided over my skin and it felt good. Amanda must have felt it too because her shiver and clinging closer to me gave her away. I held her a little closer for a minute and kissed the top of her head.

Soon enough my eyes began to droop and sleep over took me.

I found myself in the reoccurring nightmare I had been having for the past few weeks. But this time it was a little different.

_My hands were firmly clasped around his neck. It was the night I…The night Cassidy…Died. But this time when I realized what I was doing it wasn't Foss's voice that brought me to this realization. _

_ "Dr. Kyle?" My hands dropped and Cassidy's body fell limp just as always._

_ "Collin," I found myself walking toward him, he was standing on the back porch. I knelt down in front of him. "What are doing here, Collin? You shouldn't be out here." _

_ He looked different, the color was back in his face and his eyes were bright again. They didn't have the ominous haze of death in them._

_ "Are you okay, Collin?" I placed my hands on his shoulders._

_ "Look after them, Dr. Kyle." _

_ "Who?" I looked him straight in the eyes._

_ He didn't say anything he just shrugged off my hands and walked away._

_ "Who? Collin?" I called after him but he was gone._

I felt my body jolt and I shot up in bed. I noticed that the bed was empty only a note on Amanda's pillow.

_Meeting my Mom for lunch. Didn't want to wake you!_

_ Love, _

_ Amanda_

I got up and got ready for the day, throwing on a light grey long sleeve waffle shirt and a pair of jeans.

I decided on going to see Nicole, she was my best bet at trying to decipher this dream. I pulled into the driveway and noticed that Stephen's car was gone, but Nicole's was still here.

I found her in her office going over a few papers.

"Do you have a minute?" I asked lingering in the doorway.

"Oh Kyle! I didn't realize you were here." She laughed slightly but her smile faded when she detected a sign of anxiety in my face. "Take a seat."

"I can't seem to shake the dream," I told her.

"Which one?" she asked. There were only two dreams that were ever reoccurring in my life.

"The one with Cassidy," I admitted, my hands nervously clutched my knees.

"I thought that one stopped,"

"It's back, but last night was it was different, a little more cryptic."

"Wait, how long has this dream been back?" she asked, trying to gather everything.

"They started up again a few weeks ago."

"And they were still the same as before, up until last night?" she inquired.

"Yes, yesterday at work I lost a patient, a little boy." I explained. "And in the nightmare he was the one who called out to me, not Foss."

"Did anything else happen that was different?"

"I was asking him if he was okay, and he told me to 'look after them' I have no idea what he was talking about."

"Well usually it isn't as simple as what a person is saying in a dream. Usually the person will represent something in your subconscious that you aren't aware of. Something you're worried about or confused about." She went on, "Dreams are so complex to interpret that sometime we drive ourselves a little crazy trying to figure them out."

"We already figured out why I was having the dream about Cassidy," I said. "But why is my dead patient there?"

"Well Cassidy was just a representation of you're subconscious trying get you to come to terms with what you had done. What was your relationship like with this patient?" She started to make notes; I guess it was out of habit.

"He was an eight year old boy named Collin, he had cancer. His mom was a single mom working two jobs to pay for his medical bills. I paid a little more attention to him because I felt bad for him. His dad wasn't around he was going through chemo treatments and his mom wasn't always able to make it to his treatments." I scanned over my own words trying to find a reason.

"Well Kyle, sometimes dreams are just dreams no matter how complex or irritating they are. Maybe Collin was there because your subconscious was telling you to let go, it sound like you became pretty invested in this case."

"But what could he have meant by 'look after them'?" I asked.

"Who knows—It could have been anything from, your family to his Mom, to the whole world."

The world, is that what he meant? To look after the world? That I was supposed to save everyone?

"What if he did mean the world?" I was a little afraid of the answer.

"You have to remember that you weren't talking to Collin, you were talking to yourself in some sense," She reminded me.

"Like holographic memory…" I thought aloud.

"Right, it's not _actually_ Collin, it's _you_."

"Josh still believes that I cured Andy…What if I did?"

"Kyle what you're inferring is too big for one person to handle…you can't save everyone and even if you could it's not right to play god. Latnok has already tried that and we've seen how that went."

"But what if these people are my patients for a reason? What if they're 'sent' to me and I'm supposed to heal them?"

"Kyle this is all assuming that you can heal people. So let's say you did heal Andy look at the toll it took on your body, you almost shut down completely." Her voice cracked a little.

"What if that's what I'm meant for?" She got a little teary eyed.

"But what about _you_?" she countered. "What about your _family_? I don't believe that is what you're meant for Kyle, not healing in that sense. Not to the point were you are the one who needs to be saved. If you were meant for healing in that sense I think it would be a waist of an extraordinary man." She had moved to the seat next to me and placed one hand on my cheek forcing me to look at her.

"I think that you're supposed to touch lives and lead them in a better direction. With your mind, your intelligence you could find cures to cancer or AIDS, you could end world hunger." she smiled weakly. "When you came here you brought our family closer together, Kyle that is how you've 'healed' our lives. You brought friendship into Declan's life, something he had never truly experienced. You brought love into Amanda's life, something she will never be able to give up. And you became a father to a boy who was left with no one." I hugged Nicole for a long time, hoping she was right.

**AN: So I feel like this chapter deserves a little explaining, especially about the end conversation with Nicole. The other day I was reading an interview with the writer/co-producer of Kyle XY, Julie Plec. She addressed many unanswered questions about Kyle XY the last one she address was 'how does it end?' from the answer she gave I created this conversation with Nicole. Basically she said that Kyle was to be in some sense the next Gandhi, Mother Teresa or even Bill Clinton. In that he would salve conflicts, end hunger problems, create energy sources that wouldn't harm the environment. But over all he would let his pureness, or goodness affect those around him.**

** From this I have interpreted that Kyle is supposed to use his gifts and his intelligence to help people all over the world by being somewhat of a spiritual leader or someone that humanity could aspire to be.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 34

Night Out

"Meet Me on the Equinox"- Death Cab for Cutie

Kyle (POV)

Amanda and I had put Brice to bed and we decided to watch a movie. I couldn't even begin to explain the movie's plot because I hadn't been watching, and neither had Amanda. It started with me playing with a piece of her hair which led to her straddling my lap. Her hands were knotting through my hair, and my hands lingered on her hips as my lips explored hers. I could feel her lips form a smile, and I couldn't help but smile as well.

"I've been thinking," she said as my lips trailed along her jaw line.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled through kisses.

"We should have an outdoor wedding," she suggested, sitting back a little on my lap.

I pulled back for a moment; we hadn't talked much about the wedding. We still have yet to pick a date.

"We could do that, but come late November it will be too cold. We would have to wait till spring." It was already mid September, and I really didn't want to have to wait till spring.

"I've always wanted a fall wedding," she shrugged biting her lower lip.

I chuckled. "Would that be enough time to plan everything?"

"Well, you and I both want somewhat of a small wedding. It shouldn't be too hard to plan," she pointed out, re-lacing her hands behind my neck.

"So when are we looking at? Late October? Or early November?" I questioned.

"We should probably go with early November, that will give us some time to plan and hopefully our mom's won't kill us," she giggled.

"Do you think we can wait that long?" I chuckled; we both knew how badly we wanted to be married.

"I don't know…" she teased resting her forehead on mine. "It's such a long time not to be Mrs. Trager."

I laughed a little re-locking my lips to hers. "Well Mrs. Soon- to- be –Trager," I mumbled through kisses. "How does November tenth sound?"

"Perfect!" she grinned.

I could tell the movie was over by the credit music playing. "We should probably get to bed," I suggested "We both have to work tomorrow."

"Uhhhh…I don't want to go to work…" she groaned

"Well its Friday," I reminded her, "And I'm not on call tomorrow night."

"I forgot about that!" she smirked, "oh by the way, Lori wants us to go out with her and Declan for drinks."

"Who's going to watch Brice?" I asked.

"I asked my mom and she said it wouldn't be a problem."

"Well than I guess we're going out tomorrow night!" I smiled. "Where are we going anyway?"

"It some new club Lori wanted to go to," she shrugged.

"Are Josh and Andy going?"

"Yep, you only have to be 18 to get in so they won't have a problem. They just won't be able to drink," she added.

"Like that's going to stop Josh," I laughed. "He'll be bugging me to buy him a beer all night."

She just laughed. "Well I'm ready for bed!"

I stopped her from scooting off my lap and kissed her a few time before standing up with her in my arms and our lips still locked as I carried her to our room.

It felt so good to get a full night's sleep, the past couple of nights I had been working all night at the hospital. The night mares were becoming less frequent, for a while I was worrying Amanda.

Amanda had to leave for work before I did, so it was my morning to get Brice ready for pre-school.

"Brice you have to eat two more bites of your cereal, come on," I told him. Usually he wasn't picky about eating but this morning he was.

He shook his head.

"Just two bites buddy; you've already eaten most of it," I tried to persuade him.

He looked at me, then at the bowl and sighed eating the last two bites of his fruit loops.

"See that wasn't so bad!" I ruffled his hair. "Now go brush your teeth and put your shoes on, we're running late."

He hopped off the chair and ran off into the bathroom. I cleaned up his dishes and grabbed things that I needed for work. I lingered in the doorway of the bedroom for a moment; from the doorway I had a direct view of the bathroom. I could see Brice perched on the wooden step stool, using water to try and style his hair like mine. The water wasn't strong enough to hold his sandy blond hair.

"Need some help Brice?" I asked leaning in the doorway of the bathroom.

"I wanted my hair like yours Daddy," he explained, looking up at me.

I snatched the jar of styling cream off of the shelf above the sink.

"Here," I dabbed some of the cream on my fingers. "Water isn't strong enough to hold your hair up Buddy, it's too thick."

I worked the cream into his hair and styled it the same way I did mine.

"There, now shake your head." I shook my head as I said it and he imitated me.

"Alright Buddy you are all set." I chuckled; his hair really did look like mine. The only difference was the color.

"Thank you Daddy!" He hopped off the step stool and hugged my leg before running off into the hallway.

I drove him to pre-school and walked him into school. His teacher, Mrs. Flint, couldn't hide her smile when she saw Brice's hair.

"Alright Buddy, Mommy will pick you up after pre-school okay?" I reminded him, kneeling down to his level.

"Okay, bye Daddy!" He hugged me and ran off to play with his friends.

I went to work and spent most of my time in the pit. There was a fight that had broken out at some school and a couple of kids ended up needing stitches and x-rays to make sure nothing was broken. I was helping a fellow intern, Dr. Walker, with one of the high school kids that were involved in the fight. The kids had been fighting in the stair well and our patient, Avery, had actually fallen down them. We had been asking him questions to make sure he didn't have any signs of a head trauma, but also to get a patient history.

"How old are you, Avery?" I asked, hooking him up to a few monitors.

"16, just like I told the paramedic." He sounded a bit annoyed.

"We're going to have to call your parents, so we'll need a phone number to contact them," Dr. Walker explained.

He gave her his Mom and Dad's cell phone numbers and she left to call them.

"I'm going to have to stitch the cut on your forehead, so I'll use a local anesthetic for the pain," I explained, getting the things I needed ready.

He nodded.

"Can I ask what happened?" As doctors we were told to pry a little, so we could get the full story.

He sighed; he seemed a little reluctant to say anything. "There were a few guys…being…well guys, to my little sister."

His story made me think of Lori. I was lucky she was married to my best friend; I never really had to deal with things like that. But I probably would have reacted in a similar way.

"How old is your sister?" I asked to keep him talking.

"She's 14 and she's a freshman." He paused. "I'm her big brother; it's my job to protect her."

He reminded me of Josh, when he found out that Jessi had been the one to attack Lori.

"I have a sister myself, I know you feel like you have to protect her, but that doesn't mean beating up every guy that so much as glances at her." I had finished his stitches and put a bandage over the cut.

"She's my baby sister," he looked down at his feet that were dangling off the edge of the bed.

"I know, and you can still look out for her. You just have to back off a little…" I paused looking at his nose, there were some pretty nice bruises forming. "Has the bleeding from your nose stopped?"

"Yeah, how bad does it look?" he asked

"Let's just say you'll have a few stories to tell," I chuckled.

"Do you think I'll get more girls?" he joked.

"You never know," I chuckled. "When your parents get here I'll explain what we're going to do with your nose."

With perfect timing Dr. Walker came back with, who I assumed was Avery's Dad.

"Avery, what the hell happened?" the man with dark brown hair and grey flecks asked once he saw Avery's face.

"Dad, it was just a fight."

Dr. Walker had our resident, Dr. O'Shea, join us and we explained that Avery's nose would need surgery. Dr. O'Shea also had the orthopedics doctor, Dr. Robinson, do a consult since she would be the one to perform the surgery.

Dr. O'Shea, Dr. Walker and I were able to scrub in with Dr. Robinson. We watched as she repaired Avery's nose with perfect precision. The surgery took most up most of my shift; once it was over and we scrubbed out I spent the rest of my shift charting.

Once 4:30 rolled around it was time for me to go home. I changed out of my light blue scrubs and into my light grey sweater and jeans that I had come here in. The drive home was quiet. I ran into Declan on my way through the lobby to the elevator.

"Hey man," he said, matching his pace to mine.

"Hey, are you just getting back from class?" I asked as we stepped onto the elevator.

"Yep, just getting back from work?" he questioned, pushing the button of our floor.

"Yeah, so you know Lori wants us all to go out for drinks right?"

"Crap, I almost forgot about that," he sighed. "Thanks for reminding me."

"You're welcome." We walked off the elevator and down the hall to our apartments.

We departed to our own apartments. I found Amanda sitting at the kitchen table with wedding magazines scattered across it. I took the seat next to her, causing her to look up at me.

"I didn't even hear you come in." She smiled before giving me a kiss.

"I can see that, what is all this?" I asked, eying the magazines.

"Oh! Lori just brought over these after I told her that we had picked a date." She paused, sifting through the magazines. "What do you think of these for our invitations?"

I looked at the example she had given me it was a thick white card stock with an ocean blue and silver border. The lettering was a black generic cursive type. It was simple, but I did like it.

"I like this one," I said kissing her on the forehead and getting up to get myself a glass of water.

"Okay, that was easy," she beamed. "Now, who are we inviting to the ceremony? I've come up with my list. There's my Mom, David, my grandparents, and my uncle."

"Well there are my parents, Lori and Declan, Josh and Andy, Foss and his sister, and Hillary, Paul of course" As I listed them off she wrote them down. "Oh and people from work, Dr. Walker, Dr. Laflour, Dr. Barns, Dr. Foster the inters. Dr. O'Shea my resident and Dr. Ford."

"I forgot about people from work," she mumbled, adding a few more people from her work.

"Now…What about…Jessi?" she asked.

"You want Jessi at our wedding? You guys never really got along," I reminded her.

"Kyle, she was a big part of your life, just because we didn't get along doesn't mean she shouldn't come to our wedding." This was one of the things that always amazed me about Amanda: she was able to over look the past.

"I wouldn't even know where to send the invite."

"Now you're making excuses, Kyle, you were able to track down Sarah. Tracking down Jessi shouldn't be a problem for you."

Maybe she was right, maybe I was making excuses. The last time I had actually spoken to Jessi we weren't on the best of terms.

"Alright I'll see if I can find and address," I finally said. "I guess it won't hurt to send an invitation to her."

"I'm going to go check on Brice, he's in his room right?" I knew he was but I wanted to change the subject.

"Yeah, my mom and David are going to pick him up at six," she said. "By the way, what did you do to his hair?"

"He was trying to style it like mine this morning, I just helped," I chuckled.

She just smiled and shook her head going back to her wedding stuff. I went to find Brice; he was happily playing in his room. I lingered in the doorway of his room for a minute. I couldn't believe how fast he was growing up already. We had just celebrated his fourth birthday a week ago. I still remember when he was a baby and he would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I would rock him till he fell back asleep.

"Daddy!" his voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Hey Buddy," I smiled, walking over to him and plopping down next to him on the floor.

He showed me his city that he was building out of Legos. He had it all planned out, everyone that lived in the city was smart, they all had jobs, he had thought of everything. We both became very invested in the city he had created because we didn't even notice that Carol and David had arrived.

"Brice, Grandma and Grandpa and here," Amanda called.

"But Mommy, Daddy and I are still playing!" he called back and I couldn't help but smile.

"Come on Buddy we've got to go," I said, standing up and plucking him up from the floor. "We can play more tomorrow."

After we said goodbye to Brice we got ready for the night. I just put on a new white button up shirt, sprayed on some colon, and brushed my teeth and I was ready to go. Amanda took a little longer. I didn't mind though, I turned on a basketball game to occupy myself.

I was able to watch until the third quarter before Amanda was ready to go. When she came out of our bedroom I really didn't mind that I had to wait because she looked stunning. She was wearing a purple strapless cocktail dress that was tight to her skin and had on silver heals and her hair was in loose curls.

"Amanda you look…" I trailed off. "Beautiful."

If I were to use words from Josh's vocabulary, she looked down right hot. I didn't mind if we skipped going for drinks and just had fun here.

"Thank you," she blushed.

We met Lori and Declan in the lobby and decided to walk to the club. It wasn't that far and it was unusually warm for a September night. The whole walk there the girls talked about the wedding, Declan and I stayed quite letting them talk. When we got there Declan and I got drinks for ourselves and the girls. While they ran off to find Josh and Andy. Once we got our drinks we found everyone, they had taken over a booth near the dance floor.

"Here you go," I smiled, setting down and apple tiny in front of Amanda.

"Thank you!" She kissed me on the cheek as I sat down next to her.

"Hey Kyle, Buddy, you want to buy me a drink?" Josh asked.

"You're not 21 Josh; I'm not buying you a drink," I stated and he pouted.

"Hey Declan do you want to buy-"

"Not a chance little Trager," Declan cut him off, taking a sip of his beer.

"Oh my god, I love this song!" Lori squealed.

"Me too!" Amanda and Andy almost screamed back.

The three of them got up and ran onto the dance floor. I chuckled a little watching them dance.

"So I hear you've finally picked a date to join the married man's club." Declan voice was a little louder than usual. I guessed so he would be able to hear himself speak over the music.

"Yeah, November 10th," I said matching my tone to his.

"That's like what two months from now?" Josh questioned.

I nodded drinking my beer.

Andy came over and dragged Josh onto the dance floor. Not long after did Amanda do the same to me. Then finally with a great amount of persuasion Lori was able to get Delcan to join her on the dance floor. Amanda and I danced together; our movements were in synch with each other and the beat of the music.

We were all able to let go of everything and just have fun. There weren't any worries of work or wedding planning or anything. For this night Amanda and I were able to be 21, we were able to let go of it all and just have fun. I bent my neck down and planted my lips to hers, savoring the moment.

**AN: Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Comments are always appreciated!**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 35

Flower shop

""-

Kyle (POV)

I awoke early that morning, before Amanda would have even thought about getting up on a Saturday. I threw on my black basketball shorts, a gray t-shirt, and my faded blue zip up. I jogged from the apartment to the pier, it was about 12 miles. That was my warm up.

I met Foss by the shore and he had me run suicides on the sand. The drill was commonly used to condition athletes. In basketball players would start at the baseline then sprint to the foul line, back to the baseline, then to half court, then back to the baseline, then to the opposite foul line, then back to the baseline again, then full court and end at the baseline. We did this for 10 minutes and I was able to complete 357 full suicides. Foss had set up my 'baseline', 'foul line', 'half court', 'foul line', and my 'full court line' in the sand. Each was about 20 yards apart, and one full suicide was 400 yards, or four football fields.

"You're getting faster," Foss said when I jogged in from the last suicide.

"By how much?" I asked taking the water bottle from him.

"Last time we did this drill, you could only do 302 full suicides. This time you did-"

"357," I finished.

"We should probably go work on strength, at the warehouse. Do you want to ride with me? Or do you want to run?" he asked

"Running's faster," I smirked.

"Alright I'll meet you there," he said, patting me on the shoulder.

I kept an even pace as I jogged to the warehouse. From the pier it was another seven miles. I was able to get there in 9 minutes and 27 seconds. Foss pulled up a few minutes later.

"There was traffic," he joked, climbing out of the truck.

I just laughed, following him into the warehouse. Over the years we had renovated it a little, we had added real work out equipment. Instead of using cinder blocks we were using actual weights. We had also added a few mats when I started martial arts training. The climbing wall had fewer and fewer rocks on them, making the routes harder and harder. We trained for another hour, lifting weights.

"You would think with all the training you do, your arms would be the size of watermelons and you wouldn't be able to touch your face," he joked as I cleaned up the weights.

"I'm kind of glad I'm not," I laughed.

"Is your schedule next week the same as this past week?" he asked, referring to when I work.

"Yeah."

"So we'll keep the same training schedule then," he added.

"Alright, Amanda might need me for wedding things but other than that-"

"You guys picked a date?"

"November 10th," I grinned.

"That's soon, but congratulations," he said, placing one hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks, I should get going though," I said, slipping my zip up back on.

He nodded and I left, jogging back to the apartment.

It was nearing nine o'clock when I got home. Amanda was still asleep so I decided to take a shower. The hot water felt nice on my stiff muscles. I could hear her begin to stir, until finally she got out of bed. I finished up in the shower got out shaking my hair out like a wet dog and wrapping a towel around my waist. I snatched the pile of dirty clothes off of the floor and left the bathroom. I tossed the clothes into the laundry basket in our room.

"Good morning," I smiled as I passed behind her wrapping my arms around her.

"Good morning!" she said.

I released her from my arms and grabbed my blue and white plaid shirt from the closet.

"I love it when you work out," she giggled, eying my bellybutton-less abs and chest.

I just laughed and continued getting dressed.

"When do we have to pick up Brice from your mom's?" I asked.

"She said around lunch time was fine." She slipped on a gray sweater that clung perfectly to her. "Why don't we go to that bakery for breakfast?"

"We can do that; we haven't done that in a while." I smiled.

She scurried off into the bathroom to finish getting ready. We left the apartment and walked to the bakery that was two blocks away from the apartment. We ordered our breakfasts and sat at a table outside the bakery.

"It's so nice out," she commented, taking a bite of her bagel.

"It is," I agreed sipping my coffee.

We began talking about the wedding; I didn't mind that it had become the primary topic of our conversations. Once we had finished eating we walked around the city. We passed a floral shop and decided to take a look around. We looked at the white roses since she had decided our colors would be royal blue, green apple and white.

"Hello," the shop owner greeted. "May I help you?"

"We're just getting a few idea's," I smiled politely.

"Planning a wedding?" he asked.

"Yes, actually. How did you know?" Amanda questioned.

"I've seen many couples come into this shop over the years, you can always spot the ones who are planning a wedding," he smiled kindly.

We talked with him for a while. He showed us different arrangements we could use.

"You two remind me of my late wife and I," there was a little bit of sadness in his voice. "Let me make you a deal. No matter the amount of flowers, it will be four dollars for boutonnieres, seven dollars for bouquets, and twelve dollars for center pieces, any other flowers that you need will be an additional twenty-five dollars."

I calculated the total in my head. "That would only total about $225 for our wedding."

"We can't let you do that," Amanda said. "Flowers for a wedding usually cost $300 to $400 dollars."

"Please, let me do this for you guys. Let it be my wedding gift to you," he said kindly.

Amanda and I exchanged a couple glances.

"We can't let-"

"Do you not like the flowers?" he asked.

"No, the flowers are beautiful, that's not the problem!" Amanda assured him. "We just want to pay you the right amount."

"Well the amount I gave you is the _right_ amount," he retorted.

I look at Amanda and sighed, he really wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Alright," I said. Amanda and I both felt guilty.

"Wonderful! When is the big day?" he asked, opening his black leather bound notebook.

"November 10th," Amanda smiled.

After Amanda scheduled the appointment to pick flowers, we thanked the old man, whose name happened to be Henry, and left. We walked back to the apartment to get the car and drive to pick up Brice.

On the way to pick up Brice from Carol's house we stopped at Lancaster Park. I parallel parked by the curb overlooking the park. I let Amanda go ahead saying I had to make a work call. I knew Amanda wanted to be alone for a little while; all the talk about our wedding had been a reminder to her that her father wouldn't be able to walk her down the aisle.

I had let about four songs play on the radio before I decided to get out of the car and meet her. I found her at the bench that overlooked the fountain. Sitting down next to her, I didn't say anything; I just wrapped my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. The trees had just barely begun to change, they had little patches of yellow but the majority were still green. The flowers were still in full bloom creating a ray of colors, and the fountain sprayed water creating a calming sound.

"You know it's been almost _seven_ years since he died," she finally mumbled. "I wish he was here…"

"I know you do…" I mumbled. "But he's still here, in a way."

"What do you mean?" she asked, not lifting her head from my shoulder.

"Well you still have memories of him; this place will always remind you of him. I know it's not the same as seeing or talking to him, but it's something that you'll always have," I explained, rubbing her arm slightly.

We were quite for a little while, neither of us saying anything because there really wasn't anything to say. I looked around at the garden again; it really was a beautiful place.

"I have an idea," I finally said. "What if we have the wedding here? That way even though your dad won't physically be here, in a way he still will be."

Even though I couldn't see her smiling I knew she was.

"That's perfect, Kyle! I'm sure he would love it." She twisted her head up and kissed my cheek.

She was quiet again, but this time she was busy thinking of what our wedding would look like. I let her wonder in her thoughts for a while before I stood up holding my hand out to her and leading her back to the car.

"Oh my god…" Amanda trailed off when we pulled up in front of her Mom's house.

"What's wrong?" I asked cutting the engine and unbuckling myself.

"He can't be here…" she trailed off, ignoring my question, and getting out of the car.

"Amanda what's wrong?" I called after her, noticing the unfamiliar silver Porsche parked in the drive way.

She was at the steps of the porch when I caught up to her, before she flew through the front door.

"Uncle Jack!" she bellowed.

"Amanda, Baby girl!" A man in his late 40's early 50's came in to the hall from the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was muffled; because of the bear hug this man- who I assumed to be 'Uncle Jack'- held her in.

"I'm just visiting for a little while; I drove down from Vancouver last night," he explained, releasing her from his hug. "How's my little girl doing?"

"I'm doing fine, I don't know if Mom told you but…" She trailed off, linking her arm around mine. "I'm engaged."

"She mentioned something about that." He seemed a little annoyed. "And I assume that this is your _fiancé?"_

"Hello, sir. My name is Kyle," I introduced myself and stuck out my hand. "And yes I am her fiancé."

"It's nice to meet you Kyle." He shook my hand and looked me in the eye, his eyes were protective. "I'm Amanda's Uncle Jack."

Carol wondered into the hall with Brice in her arms.

"Mommy! Daddy!" he squealed, and I could see Jack wince a little.

"Hey sweetie!" Amanda said taking Brice from Carol. "Were you a good boy for Grandma? Huh?"

"We went to the park! And Grandpa David, bought me ice cream!" he beamed.

My pager beeped and vibrated on my waist belt, were it was firmly clasped.

"You have to go," Amanda stated. I could tell she wasn't too happy about it. "I thought it was your day off?"

"I know. I'm sorry, they must need me," I said stepping a little closer to her. "I'm _really_ sorry…" I whispered.

"Are you a doctor?" Jack interrupted.

"Yeah, second year surgical intern," I explained. "It was nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too," He mumbled.

I turned to Amanda. "I'll be back in a little while." I kissed her forehead and said goodbye to her and Brice.

Amanda (POV)

I was a little upset that Kyle had to go to work, but I also knew that it was his job and he had to go. It just seemed like he was always called away at the most inconvenient times. I kissed him goodbye and watched him walk out the door. I knew he felt bad about leaving so I did my best to mask being upset. Even though it was useless to try and hide something from him, I still tried.

David took Brice for a while and kept him occupied while I talked to Uncle Jack. I knew this wasn't going to be the most pleasant conversation but it also had to be done.

"I'm here less than 24 hours and I not only meet your _fiancé_ but I also get to meet your _son_!" His tone was a little raised as he paced in the living room.

I felt like I was 6 years old again being scolded for scratching his car with my bike.

"Uncle Jack I'm sorry, I should have introduced you sooner." I tried to keep my voice level.

"You're damn right you should have!" he wasn't yelling but he wasn't quiet either. "I don't even know this guy! It's my job to look out for you and your Mom. And you two can't help but marry these random guys!" He was my dad's brother and ever since my dad died, he felt this need to look out for my mom and I.

"Again Uncle Jack, I'm sorry, but don't you have to sort of be around for me to introduce you to people?" I wasn't trying to be bratty or anything. "The last time you visited was the Christmas before I graduated high-school, then Mom and I visited you after I graduated."

He was quiet for a while pacing back and forth, occasionally he would sigh or grunt. He clearly knew I was right.

"He's a doctor?" he huffed, still pacing.

"Yes, he'll be a surgical resident in the spring," I explained.

"How old is he?"

"He's a few months older than me."

"And he's already a doctor?" This caused him to stop mid pace.

"He's _very_ intelligent and was able to skip a few years of college." He didn't say anything but I knew he was a little surprised.

"And he's a dad?" he asked as he continued to pace.

"He adopted Brice when he was eighteen." This one caused him to stop pacing again.

"Adopted?"

"Yes," I smiled; he was really trying to find a flaw in Kyle.

He sighed again then finally sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of me.

"You know I'm going to have to have a talk with him, right?" He looked me straight in the eye.

"I know," I couldn't help but chuckle.

"What am I going to do with you 'Bloom women'?" he joked.

"I don't know, Uncle Jack, I don't know," I giggled.

A few hours had passed since Kyle had left to go to work. Uncle Jack and I had taken Brice to the park so he could run around and play. When we came back we helped cook dinner. Brice always loved doing this with Kyle and me at the apartment.

We had eaten dinner and Kyle still wasn't back yet. I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated that he wasn't here the whole day, again. I slipped away from the family and into the living room. I sat at the piano and played a few songs.

"Mommy?" Brice called from the doorway.

"Hey sweetie," I smiled turning to him.

"Where's Daddy?" He asked making his way to me and hopping up on the bench next to me.

"Daddy's at work," I reminded him.

"What are you playing?" he asked changing the subject.

"Just an old song," I smiled, as he tapped a few keys.

"Will you teach me how to play?" He looked up at me with his big green blue eyes and a smile that could only match him and his blond hair styled just like Kyle's. Even though Brice wasn't biologically related to Kyle he still acted so much like him.

"Sure sweetie," I smiled showing him the basics of piano.

Kyle (POV)

I could hear Amanda playing the piano from the minute I turned into the subdivision. It was nice to hear, since we lived in the apartment there wasn't room for a piano. I hopped up the porch steps and lingered in front of the front door for a minute just listening to her play. She stopped for a while to talk to Brice but then she began to play again.

I quietly walked through to door. I hovered in the doorway of the living room watching Amanda teach Brice how to play. I always loved watching her interact with Brice, she was a phenomenal mother. I didn't get to watch for too long because Jack tapped me on the shoulder and motioned me to follow him. He led me into the den and sat down in the black leather arm chair and I sat down across from him on the couch.

"You know that Amanda lost her father when she was very young," he stated and I nodded. "It almost tore her apart."

I only knew a little about the emotional toll it had taken on her. She didn't like to talk about it often.

"She's told me a little about that," I explained.

"I took care of her for a long time after his death. She was _very _close to her father," he told me. "Ever since then I've been taking care of them."

He looked down at his hands for a minute, as if to gather his thoughts.

"Kyle, I want to be able to trust that you will be able to take care of her." He looked me in the eye.

"I love Amanda," I said. "If I weren't able to take care of her and love her in the way that she deserves to be, then I don't deserve to be with her. She's compassionate, she's stubborn, and she amazes me every day."

"From what I've heard from Amanda and Carol you've won them over." He chuckled. "I just need you to promise me one thing."

I nodded for him to continue.

"Promise me that you will always care for her and protect her and love her."

"I will." It was such a simple yet complicated promise to make. I knew that in that very moment I could guarantee those requests. But I didn't know what the future held; I could only hope it would be good to Amanda and I.

"I know I've gone about things a little un-traditionally, I should have asked you for your approval to marry Amanda." He nodded. "So I'm asking for you blessing instead."

"As long as you keep that promise, Kyle, then you have my blessing." He stood up from his chair and I did the same.

"Thank you," I replied shaking his hand.

Jack and I left the den and made our way to the living room, where Amanda was still teaching Brice.

"Hello," I smiled leaning down to give her a quick kiss.

"I didn't even hear you come it!" she said, kissing me back.

"Daddy!" Brice cheered and I went over and scooped him up.

"I stole him away before he had a chance to say 'hi'," Jack shrugged.

"He didn't torture you too bad, did he?"

"Not at all," I chuckled. "He's just doing his job."

She stared at me a little wearily.

"I think a little boy is about fall asleep," Jack pointed out, changing the subject.

"We should probably get going," Amanda said. "It is way past his bedtime."

We said our goodbyes and left.

When we arrived home Brice groggily changed into his pajamas and climbed in bed. Before I could even tuck the blanket around him he was asleep.

"Good night buddy," I kissed his forehead and left his room.

Amanda had decided to hop in the shower when we got home. I hadn't eaten much all day so I wondered into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. When I was done I set the sandwich on the table and went to grab my laptop from my backpack in the family room. I came back and sat down at the table turning on my laptop.

I had been thinking a lot about what Amanda had said the night before about Jessi. I had been speculating all day if it was a good idea for her to come to the wedding. I hadn't heard from her in years. I remembered all that we had been though with Latnock and Madacorp, it all seemed like a life time had passed since then. Things were so different now. The Jessi I knew wasn't happy, she was bitter and after everything she had been though she had every right to be.

I searched through the inbox of my old email address that I had, had in high-school. I found the email from Jessi asking for my forgiveness. I re-read the words again.

_Kyle,_

_I'm sorry I left the way I did. I know you don't understand why I left but I hope one day you can forgive me._

_-J_

I never replied to that email. But I decided that it was time that I did.

_Jessi,_

_You're right that I wouldn't understand why you left, but a lot has changed since then. I have a son now; I adopted him four years ago. In the spring I'll be a surgical resident. And on November 10__th__ of this year I'll be getting married. I would like you to be there Jessi._

_Kyle_

**AN: Here is another chapter I hope everyone enjoys it! Please feel free to comment with any suggestions, questions, everything is welcome and appreciated! As far as the way I've ended this chapter it looks like Jessi may or may not be making her VERY long awaited appearance. Hopefully in the next chapter or two we'll hear from her! Thanks again for reading! **


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 36

Things from the Past

"Never be Ready"- Mat Kearney

Foss (POV)

I heard the heavy metal door of the warehouse swing open. When I glanced up my eyes met a gray haired man carrying a thin, blue folder with papers neatly stacked inside.

"I never thought I would see you again, Christopher," I said, setting aside one of Adam's books I had been going over.

"Well I thought you and my grandson would like to know what the family business has been up to, Tom." He placed the folder down in front of me on the desk.

I flipped through the papers; they were notes. The text was flooded with scientific terminology that half of the time went right over my head. But most of it seemed to be a plan.

"What are they even trying to do?" From the notes I could gather what was happening: Latnok was at it again. I just couldn't understand why.

"They're trying to do what they've always failed at doing." He smirked. "They want Kyle to join."

"Why now? They haven't bothered Kyle for almost 3 years and now all of a sudden they want to go after him again." Kyle was just starting to have a chance at a normal life. He was getting married in a week!

"They've always been watching him, Tom. You know that," Christopher reminded me, leaning up against the shelf under the window.

"What are they planning to do?"

"They've always known that Adam is one of Kyle's weaknesses. They know my relationship to Adam so they want me to get close to Kyle."

"Then what?" I asked. Their plan seemed to be just like the one they had formulated before with Cassidy.

"I don't know. But what if I do this and I take Kyle under my wing and you and I protect him. We can let Latnok think I'm gaining Kyle's trust and that I'm slowly persuading him to join them." His plan seemed logical.

"When?"

"They want me to start as soon as possible. They know about his wedding-"

"No—not at his wedding. He has a family now, Christopher…And he'll do everything he can to protect his family. You know that."

"Then this is the only way we can protect him and protect his family." He paused. "Look, Tom, I don't like this any more than you do. Adam would have never wanted to put Kyle in this kind of a situation, and neither do I. But to me it seems like it's the only way to keep him safe."

"Why can't we just build him a fort like we did for Adam…?" I halfheartedly joked.

"Because, he's meant to do so much more," he answered, peering over at the photo of Kyle and Adam. It was one of the few we had of them together. "He looks just like Adam."

I saw the pain in his eyes; it was the only kind of pain that could come from the loss of a child.

Kyle (POV)

One week later.

I was done at work and had left to pick Brice up from pre-school. I was a little early so I walked from the apartment to the school, it wasn't that far and it was a nice day out.

As I walked I thought about the email I had sent Jessi, of all the things on my mind that thought seemed to stick. The wedding was tomorrow and I had yet to hear from her. I couldn't help but wonder what she had been doing these past couple of years. I didn't even know if she was still safe. I still don't understand fully what she left; then again I still don't fully understand why I never went after her.

"Hello, Mr. Trager, all the children are outside on the play ground. Would you like me to go get Brice?" one of the teachers, Ms. Anderson, had told as I came in the door.

"Yeah, thank you." I smiled politely as she disappeared outside the back door.

I waited in the front room, there were a few tables with multiply chairs surrounding them, all of which came up to my knees. There were toys and educational tools all throughout the room. The bright yellow walls were covered with posters of ABC's and 123's and various animals.

"Daddy!" I heard Brice call as he ran through the door.

"Hey buddy," I knelt down to hug him. "Ready to go?"

"Yep!" But first he ran off to his cubby to get his back pack and sweatshirt he had on this morning. He came back and handed me his stuff.

"Bye Ms. Anderson!" he said as we walked out the front door.

"Good bye Brice, see you on Monday."

"Daddy? Can we go to the park?" he asked as we walked back to the apartment.

I looked at my watch it was almost four. "No buddy, we don't have time for the park today. Remember Mommy wanted us to get home so we could get ready for the rehearsal tonight."

"Oh yeah, does that mean I have to take a bath?" he asked when we turned the corner onto the street our apartment building was on.

"Yeah, that does mean you have to take a bath," I chuckled.

We entered the lobby and rode the elevator up to our apartment. Amanda wasn't home yet but I started getting Brice ready after he had a snack. We were all supposed to meet at Lancaster Park at seven, and I didn't want Amanda to have to worry about it when she got here. I started his bath water and he climbed in.

"How come you and Mommy weren't married before I was born?" He asked playing with the bubbles.

He had never asked a question like this. We hadn't even told him that he was adopted. We had been waiting for when we felt he was old enough to understand.

"Your Mommy and I weren't ready to get married then," I said simply, hoping he wouldn't ask anything further.

"Oh." I was lucky he didn't ask any more questions about it. But I also knew that this wouldn't be the last time we talked about this.

He finished up in the bath tub and I wrapped him in a blue towel. I led him to his room where I picked out his dress clothes that Amanda had wanted him to wear. A light gray and white pin stripped shirt, black dress pants, black tie and his black dress shoes. I handed him his clothes and he got dressed by himself. I could hear Amanda out in the hall in front of apartment door; she was rummaging through her purse for her keys.

"Hey," I smiled opening the door for her.

"My keys have to be in here somewhere," she mumbled walking past me.

"Did you check the front pocket?" I asked.

She checked and of course they were there. "Thank you…" she said, tossing her stuff on the table then wrapping her arms around my neck.

"How was your day?" I asked, just holding her in my arms.

"Long, stressful. I swear my mother is more stress out about this wedding than I am." She giggled. "She has been calling me nonstop today about everything."

"Well just think, this time tomorrow you and I will be married and enjoying our reception, then we'll be off on a plane to enjoy our honeymoon." I smiled pecking her lips softly.

"Hmmm I can't wait!" she moaned softly.

"Daddy?" Brice called, making his way into the hallway where we were.

He had his tie in a giant knot, Amanda and I both chuckled.

"Need help?" I asked and he nodded.

"There you go, all set," I said after fixing his tie.

"You look very handsome, Brice," Amanda complemented, ruffling his hair.

"Thank you Mommy," he smiled.

"Can I go play with Uncle Declan?" He and I both knew Declan was home because we had run into him on our way home.

"You have to brush your teeth and fix your hair first," Amanda reminded him.

He ran off to the bathroom and did as Amanda had said. He was able to brush his teeth by himself but he still could get the hang of styling his hair so I helped him with that. He put his shoes on then ran off to Lori and Declan's apartment across the hall. I had texted Declan beforehand just to make sure it was alright, which it was.

Amanda had hopped in the shower and once she was finished I took my shower. She did her hair while I shaved, it was a little cramped but we managed.

"So Brice asked me 'why we weren't married before he was born?' today," I said as I applied shaving cream to my face.

"What did you say?" She sounded a little alarmed.

"I just told him that you and I weren't ready to be married, but now we are," I shrugged.

"Did he ask you anything else?" she questioned as she curled a long strand of blond hair.

"Luckily no, but we have to tell him eventually." I paused. "And who knows maybe the fact that I was adopted too might make him feel better about the situation."

"Do you think he's old enough for this though?" She looked at me through the mirror. "I'm not sure he'll understand."

"I don't know, but he's very mature for his age already," I reminded her.

"Well why don't we handle this after we get back from our honeymoon?" she suggested as she curled the last strand of her hair.

"Alright," I agreed, washing off the extra shaving cream.

I left to get dressed as she started putting on her makeup. I grabbed my clothes that had been neatly folded and left out at the end of the bed. It was my dark blue almost green button up shirt and matching tie and my grey dress pants. My black leather belt and shoes also sat there. I threw them on and put on my colon and strapped on my wrist watch. Amanda came into the bedroom to get her dress and I slipped back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my own hair.

"Kyle, will you help me?" I heard her call from the bedroom.

Her back was to me and her hair was pulled over one shoulder. She needed me to zip up her blue dress that clung in all the right places.

"Thank you," she mumbled as I gently zipped her up.

"You're welcome," I smiled, kissing the crook of her neck.

"You smell wonderful," she mused, turning around.

She placed her hands on my chest and brought her lips to mine.

"If only we had time," I groaned and so did she resting her head on my chest. It was already 6:30.

She parted with a peck on my cheek to put on her silver heels. Then we left the apartment and met up with Lori, Declan and Brice.

Each of us had an overnight bag with us since Declan, Brice and I along with Josh were going to be staying at Stephen and Nicole's house. And Lori and Amanda along with Andy and Hillary were staying at Amanda's parent's house. It was all to ensure that I wouldn't be able to see Amanda before the wedding. Especially not in her wedding dress that she and Hillary had been designing together.

We all rode in the same car to Lancaster Park where we met Amanda's parents and uncle along with my parents.

We mingled while we waited for Father Jacob, Josh, Andy and Foss to arrive. I was talking with Nicole when Foss got there.

"Hello Kyle, hello Nicole," he greeted us.

"Hello Tom, how have you been lately?" Nicole politely started a conversation with him.

Declan pulled me aside after a while.

"So Josh and I are taking you out for a drink after this. It's kind of your bachelor party," he explained.

"But aren't bachelor parties for men who are afraid to have their single days passing them by?" I asked. "Besides I'm not keen on getting drunk."

"You don't have to get drunk, just have a couple drinks with Josh and I. Humor us, please?" he begged. "It's my job as best man."

"Alright, fine," I gave in.

"Guys everyone's here, we're going to get started," Lori informed us.

We did the practice run of the wedding. I escorted Nicole to her seat then I took my place in front of the fountain by Father Jacob. Declan escorted Lori down the pretend aisle that would be there tomorrow for the actual wedding once all the white chairs had been set up. Declan took his place beside me and we watched Josh escort Andy followed by Brice escorting Hillary.

Even though it wasn't the real wedding I was anxious to see Amanda walk down the aisle. Her Uncle Jack was the one who would escort her. Jack and her mother would be the ones to give her away to me. They both were practicing the pace but with no music to help them Jack seemed to have a little trouble.

I stepped a little forward and took Amanda's hand as they reached the end of the aisle. Together Amanda and I stepped in front of Father Jacob. The sun was just beginning to set behind the fountain so there was still plenty of light. Father Jacob began his speech and we re-sighted our vows.

Amanda had tears in her eyes as I said my vows to her. Neither of us had wanted to share our vows that we had made for each other until tomorrow. So for now we just practiced the traditional ones. Multiple times throughout our vows I gently squeezed her hand and she would just smile back at me.

"And if this were the real wedding, this would be the part where I say 'I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride'," Father Jacob said with a genuine smile.

I cupped my hands around her jaw line and leaned down to touch my lips to hers. Everyone around us applauded and we parted away with one last kiss. I linked my arm around hers and we walked back down the pretend aisle.

Amanda and I were saying goodbye in the parking lot. Josh and Declan were already in the car ready to go out for a drink. Brice had left with Stephen and Nicole to go home along with Amanda's parents and uncle.

"They want to take me out for drinks," I whispered, still holding her in my arms.

"Well you should go out and enjoy yourself," she whispered back. "Besides the girls are planning some mini bachelorette party as well."

"Why can't we just go home and be left to ourselves?" I joked.

"Because its tradition," she smiled at me.

"Alright well you have fun with the girls. Good night and I love you," I smiled, kissing her gently.

"I love you too," she mumbled between a kiss.

I watched her walk back to the car with the other girls already inside. Then I turned back to my car and climbed into the driver's seat.

We went to one of the bars on the UW campus so Josh could drink as well. It was another one of those bars that didn't check ID's. When we arrived Declan announced that I was getting married the next day and the bar tender gave us a few rounds on the house.

I'd had a few more beers than I had planned on having.

"I'm getting married tomorrow!" I said it as if I had just come to the realization.

Josh and Declan just stared at one another and laughed. They were a little buzzed too.

"Dude, I think…." Then Josh just stopped mid sentence.

I exchanged a glance with Declan and just busted out laughing like he and Josh had done minutes before. I looked around the bar, it was filled with college students, and I didn't know if it was the alcohol reacting with my system or if it was actually true but I had an odd feeling that someone was watching us.

I kept an eye out the rest of the night and didn't have any more beers. I just wanted to be safe, just in case. Within an hour I had metabolized all the alcohol in my system. And by about 11:30 I was able to get Josh and Declan out of there and back into the car. They were both too drunk to even notice they had left the bar, so I had to help them buckle their seat belts.

The drive home was quiet since they had both fallen asleep. I got them inside and Stephen helped me get them up stairs. Josh slept in his old room and Declan slept in Lori's old room.

"Please tell me that those fools didn't get drunk and leave you to be the designated driver at your own bachelor party?" Stephen asked handing me a bottle of water from the fridge once we got back down stairs.

"No, I just metabolized the alcohol faster than they do," I smiled.

"Right," he nodded. "Well, Brice is asleep on the pullout bed in Nicole's office. Oh! And Nicole and I thought you might like to reminisce for a night, so there's a surprise from us in your room."

I looked at him a little wearily but he reassured me that I would like it. He and I said good night then went off to our rooms. I checked on Brice before I went to my old room. He had kicked the blanket to the end of the bed and was sprawled out clutching his green knit blanket that Nicole had made for him when he was a baby. I tugged the comforter back over him and tucked it gently around him. I whispered goodnight to him and left the door a little open before entering my room.

I chuckled when I found the surprise from Stephen and Nicole. They had moved my bed out of the room and replaced it with my old tub. It even had the same green plaid pillow and gray blanket. Nicole had placed my red and white pin stripe pajama pants along with a white t-shirt on the rim on the tub.

It felt good to get out of my dress clothes and into my pajamas. It was also very comforting to sleep in my tub again.

**NA: Hey everyone! I hope you like this new chapter; I should be uploading another new chapter soon. So you guys can look forward to that! I have updated my profile there are a few new pictures up, so check those out and tell me what you think! **

**Anyway in this chapter we saw a little insight into a possible new character (Christopher). Let me know what you think about him. Do you want to see more? Never talk about him again? I'm always open to my reader's opinions! **

**Thanks for reading and look forward to the next one!**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 37

Beginning of Always

"Congratulations"- Blue October

Kyle (POV)

When I woke that morning I felt extremely relaxed and comfortable. I had an odd sense of nostalgia waking up in my old tub. It was calming. I listened to all the noises in the house. There were a few creeks of the floor boards upstairs as Nicole crept around getting ready for the morning. It was around 9:30 which was when Stephen usually got up. But given that he had stayed up late last night to help me with Josh and Declan I couldn't blame him for staying in bed a little longer.

It was a chilly in the house so when I got out from under the warm blanket I threw on a long sleeve shirt. I slowly made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal. As I sat at the counter eating and reading the paper, Nicole came down the stairs.

"Good morning!" she cheerfully greeted, taking her violet mug from the cupboard.

"Morning!" I mused back, taking a spoon full of fruit loops.

"How did you sleep last night?" she asked, hinting at the surprise she and Stephen had come up with.

"Wonderfully, thank you," I smiled.

I watched as she poured milk into her tea and dropped a spoon full of sugar in as well. I couldn't help but feel like I was seventeen again, noticing all of Nicole's morning rituals. Also the fact that I had slept in my tub again made the feeling so much stronger.

Nicole had pulled out her hand written agenda and was going over it.

"Stephen is going to pick up the tuxes at eleven so make sure he's up by then." She had a separate sheet of paper and was making a small list for us guys.

"We're all meeting at the garden at two but the guests aren't going to arrive till around 3:30, four o'clock-ish." It seemed to me that she was just saying her thoughts out loud.

I ate the last spoonful of my cereal then put the dirty bowl into the dishwasher. I could hear Brice start to move around in Nicole's office so I grabbed another bowl from the cupboard for his breakfast. Within a couple of minutes he had made his way out to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Nana," he mumbled as he climbed up onto the chair at the counter. He had started to call Nicole Nana because he felt it was easier to say. Nicole didn't mind because she has always said that Grandma made her feel old.

"Good morning sweetheart," she smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmhmm," he nodded. "Daddy can I have some cereal?"

"Sure buddy, fruit loops?" I asked, grabbing them off the counter.

He nodded and I poured him a bowl. He ate his cereal and listened to Nicole talk about everything we had to do today. I finished my coffee and listened as well. Stephen came down the stairs not long after.

"Those boys are not getting up any time soon," he chuckled, rolling up the sleeves of his red plaid shirt. "Morning," he mumbled as he passed Nicole, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Well they better get up soon because they have stuff to do."

"Declan will be fine once he gets going. I'm not sure about Josh though," I explained.

"Well if they're not up by the time I get back from picking up the tuxes we'll dump water on them," Stephen joked. "What do you say Brice, does that sound like a plan?"

Brice giggled when Stephen ruffled his already messy hair.

"I'm going to go next door and get ready with the girls," Nicole informed us. "I think David and Jack will come over here later to get ready."

Well all nodded or mumbled a "yeah" in agreement.

"Okay, I'll see you later. Try not to let the sleeping beauties up stairs sleep too long." She gave us each a kiss goodbye before leaving.

Stephen poured himself a cup of coffee then looked over the list Nicole had left on the counter.

"Brice do you want to go with me to pick up the tuxes?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sure!" he beamed.

"Go get dressed and get your shoes on and we'll go." Brice hopped off the chair and ran into Nicole's office.

"Do you want to come too?" he asked me.

"No, I've got a few things to do here."

He nodded and went out into the hallway to get his shoes on. A few minutes later he and Brice left and it was quiet again.

I walked back into my room and sat down on the edge of the tub. I remembered the first day I came to this house. Everything was such a mystery to me yet life was so simple. It was all so new, so easy. I loved how my life had turned out so far, but it was always nice to remember the simplicities of life.

I stood up and went over to my desk where a velvet box sat next to the vows I had written weeks ago. The vows were my promises to Amanda. But to me it was more than just promising to love her and care for her. It was a vow to keep her safe and protected no matter what. I remembered what I had said to her years ago.

**FLASHBACK: **

"_Kyle,"_

"_Amanda I…I didn't think you'd want to see me," I admitted._

"_I don't want to be mad anymore. I feel like that's all I've been lately." She sighed. "I'm so confused about what to think of you…and the only thing I can do to get through it is to follow my heart…My heart says that there's still something there." _

_There was silence until she spoke again._

"_Please say something."_

_"Amanda…This person I am…This life I lead it's…Its different than anyone else's…I'm different." _

_"I know that."_

_"You know some of it…But there are things that I can never tell you…And people who want things from me who know that the way to get to me is through the people I love."_

_"What does that mean 'get to you'?" She seemed so frustrated._

_"It means that as much as I want us to be together, we can't."_

_"Why does that get to be your choice?" _

_"Because my choice is to protect you…Always." _

_"You don't need to protect me…What you need to do is explain," she pleaded._

_"I'm sorry…But I can't…"_

**END FLASHBACK:**

For now everything with Latnok seemed to be at ease. The thing with Latnok is they're always planning something. For a while I thought it was naive of me to think I could be with Amanda and keep her safe. I thought being away from her was doing what was best for her. Then I realized she would always be in danger because of the emotional attachment we shared for one another. It didn't matter if we were together or apart, Latnok knew that the way to get to me was through the people I loved. And I've never stopped loving her.

When I came to that realization I thought about running away and not having ties to anyone. It was after… after Cassidy's death that I contemplated that. I had gotten so far as to having a bag of clothes packed and sneaking out at three o'clock in the morning. I had gone to Foss thinking he would understand and that he would help me.

**FLASHBACK:**

_ I had run all the way to the warehouse from the Trager's home._

"_Foss," I called as I walked through the door._

"_Kyle?" I heard him call back from the makeshift office. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I'm leaving," I said simply. "It's the only way to keep everyone safe." _

"_Kyle," he paused, placing his hand on my shoulder. "You're not leaving."_

"_I have to! I'm the reason everyone is in danger, why everyone has the burden of keeping my secret." I had been thinking about this for a while but I had never spoken to anyone about it._

_ I had become a little emotional. It had been the first time since Cassidy's death that I had really had a conversation with anyone. He looked at me and I saw a hint of pain in his eyes, it was gone just a quickly as it had came._

"_That's not what Adam would have wanted," he finally said._

"_So Adam would have wanted innocent people to be in danger?" I shot back._

"_Kyle, you know that that's not true. Adam wanted you to touch the world. To Adam you were 'a light in a world full of darkness'," he quoted Adam. "Wasn't it you who told me you couldn't touch the world unless you were part of it? _

"_How are you planning on doing that if you run out on your family? You will cause them more pain than Latnok ever could, Kyle," he continued. "You've become a part of a family, and you can't just tare yourself away. Believe me when I say, losing a family member is one of the most painful things in the world."_

"_I just want them to be safe…" I pleaded._

"_They will be safe…if you stay. But if you leave think of what that will do to them. Think about what that will do to Nicole, Kyle. You're her son, and if you take that away from her…." He trailed off but I knew what he meant. _

**END FLASHBACK:**

I knew then that the only way to protect the people I loved the most was to be a part of their lives. It wasn't fair to them to make it my choice to leave without their input. Even with all the people who wanted to hurt me, they couldn't do half the damage to my family that I could do by leaving.

I heard movement upstairs and realized Declan was awake. I glanced at the clock on the corner of the desk, it was already noon. I left my old room and climbed up the stairs.

"Hey," I said as I leaned in the doorway of Lori's old room.

"Hey." He was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully clothed in the same clothes he had on yesterday and that he had fallen asleep in. "How much did I drink?"

"A fair amount, but not so much that a shower and a cup of coffee won't fix," I chuckled.

"Yeah." He stood up slowly and stretched.

"First we have to wake up Josh," I said as he passed me in the doorway.

He just nodded and I followed him into Josh's old room.

"Josh, come on get up," I said, gently nudging him.

"That's not going to work," Declan said, reaching for the blanket and tore it off of Josh's body.

He didn't even move. I looked around the room for something that would make a lot of noise. Declan caught on to what I was doing and found an air horn in the piles of junk on Josh's desk.

"1,2,3," Declan counted before pressing down on the horn.

Josh shot out of bed like a rocket.

"Josh, it's time to start getting ready…" I patted him on the back as I turned to leave the room.

Declan just laughed as we left the room and I could hear Josh grumbling as he got himself together.

I hopped in the shower and Declan went down to the kitchen to get himself some coffee. While I was in the middle of rinsing my hair I could hear Stephen and Brice come home. I finished up in the shower then proceeded to shave and brush my teeth. The last thing I did before leaving the bath room was fix my hair.

"Your tux is in your room," Stephen called when I walked past the kitchen with just a towel around my waist.

I snatched the clean pair of black boxer briefs that I had pack in my bag and slipped them on. I put on my black dress socks and a white tank top. I unzipped the bag that my tux was in and took the contents of it out. I slipped on the white shirt with black buttons, then slipped on the black pants and tucked the shirt into them.

"Josh and Declan have showered, Declan is helping Brice shower. David and Jack are here, they are getting dressed in Nicole's office. And I accidentally put my tux in here," Stephen poked his head into the room and informed me.

"Alright," I said simply, standing in the mirror fixing my black bow tie.

"Do you need help with that?" Stephen asked.

I remembered the Nicole telling me to let Stephen help me with my tie; it was another father/son ritual.

"Yeah," I said quickly screwing up the knot; I had already started, without him noticing. "I can't get the bow to form right."

"Here, bow ties can be a little tricky." He smiled.

"Thank you," I mumbled when he finished.

I clipped the cummerbund around my hips and slipped on the jacket.

"How do I look?" I asked.

"Well you might want to put on your shoes," he chuckled, looking down at my feet. "Oh, and don't forget the flower."

He grabbed the white rose from the plastic container and pinned it to my jacket. I slipped on the shiny black lace less dress shoes. Then I snatched the velvet box that held Amanda's wedding band and the vows I had written off of the desk and slipped then in the pocket inside my jacket.

"You look great Kyle," he beamed. "You'll make a great husband."

"Thank you, Dad." Tears were filling the brim of his eyes when he hugged me.

"Right, I'm going to go get ready. Congratulations." He tried his best to hide the tears in his eyes as he patted my shoulders and left grabbing his tux off of the door.

I walked out into the living room and found Foss all ready in his tux. He almost reminded me of James bond.

"Wow Foss, I don't think I've ever seen you in something that you couldn't roll your sleeves up," I joked, giving him a hug.

"I'll just take that as a complement," he joked back. "You look great, Kyle."

"Thank you."

"I actually wanted to give you something." He dug in his jacket pockets. "These were Adam's; I think he'd want you to have them."

He opened a small box and inside were two small silver cuff links. His initials had been engraved in cursive on the inner part of the links. I took them from the box and shrugged off my jacket and clasped them to my white shirt.

"Thanks, Foss that means a lot," I smiled as I put my jacket back on.

"Yeah, well… it's what Adam would have wanted," he shrugged.

"Daddy look!" Brice called running into the living room and sliding in his dress shoes. He almost fell but I steadied him by grabbing his jacket.

"You have to scuff your shoes, Bri, or else you're going to fall," I explained, kneeling down to his level.

"But it's fun to slide!" he cheered.

"He's already fallen twice upstairs," Declan told us.

"Just be careful," I warned him. "By the way Declan, I think you're supposed to hold onto this."

I tossed him the velvet box, that had been in my jacket pocket.

"Alright, I'm all ready to go!" Josh announced when he joined us.

"We're still waiting for Stephen, Jack and David," Declan explained to him.

"Make that just Stephen and David," Jack corrected when he joined us as well.

"We still have forty-five minutes till we need to be at the garden, we have time," I said.

It wasn't long before David and Stephen were ready. I was the only one of the guys who wore a black bow tie and a matching cummerbund; the rests were a dark royal blue to match the bride's maid's dresses. We drove in two cars to the garden: Declan, Josh, Brice and I in my car, and the others in Stephen's car.

I stood behind the last row of the white chairs that had been set up by the rental service. The garden was beautiful, the flowers were in full bloom and the trees had changed color to a lovely ray of reds and yellows. We had been lucky with the weather it was a comfortable 70 degrees with a slight breeze and not a cloud in the sky. The stone path aisle had been covered by white rose petals.

One by one the guests started to arrive, people from work, a few of Amanda's relatives along with some friends from college. There were two tents set up, one for the girls to reside in and one for the guys. It was all a way to ensure Amanda and I didn't see each other.

It was getting closer and closer to when I was supposed to walk down the aisle when I heard a voice that belonged to none other than Paul.

"Kyle Trager! Man, get your ass out here!" I shook my head, I was lucky that I was alone in the tent and the others had busied themselves.

"Paul! I didn't think you would make it!" I said, stepping outside the tent.

"You really think I would miss your wedding?" he joked, giving me a hug.

"It's good to see you," I smiled.

"Yeah you too, man," he muttered.

"Kyle we're ready to start," Nicole interrupted us.

"I better go find my seat; I'll talk to at the reception." Paul patted my shoulder. "Good luck, Kyle."

"Are you ready for this?" Nicole asked as I linked my arm to hers.

"Of course," I smiled. "You look beautiful, by the way."

"You look pretty handsome yourself." She patted my arm.

We walked pasted the tall shrubs that circled the garden and also the view from the makeshift altar. There were two photographers that ran around snapping pictures of everything. When Nicole and I reached the opening of the aisle everyone turned their attention to us. We glided down the aisle and kissed Nicole on the cheek as I left her at her seat and joined Father Jacob in front of the fountain.

David escorted Carol to her seat and he sat down with her. Declan and Lori were next to make their way down the aisle. They parted and he came and stood at my side. Josh and Andy followed them until Josh joined Declan and I, and Andy joined Lori. Hillary and Brice were next to follow and they did the same.

Everyone stood in anticipation of Amanda and Jack when 'Pachelbel canon d' began to play. I felt my heart beat a little faster and I could hear Amanda's do the same. When they reached the opening of the aisle I saw her and she was beautiful—more than that; she was stunning beyond words. I was smiling before but now I was beaming, I could feel the grin stretch across my face. Her dress flowed elegantly as they strode down the aisle. Her hair fell in loose golden curls across her shoulders.

I had to remember to step forward to take Amanda's hand from Jack and step back in front of Father Jacobs.

"You look stunning," I whispered in her ear as I took her hand.

"Thank you," she whispered back.

"Who gives this woman to marry this man?" Father Jacob's asked.

"Her mother and I do." Jack and Carol stood.

"And who give's this man to marry this woman?"

"His mother and I do," Stephen announced as he stood with Nicole.

I held both of Amanda's hands as listened to Father Jacob's instructions.

"Now the Bride and Groom have also written their own vows to share with each other," Father Jacob explained to everyone.

"Kyle Adam Trager," Amanda beamed. "You and I have been through _so_ much together. No matter how lost I felt at times, you've been the one right there beside me. Holding me and telling me 'everything will be alright.' You've always been there to save me, Kyle. You're the one I want to have thirty kids with, and grow old watching those kids grow as well. You are the one I want to be with, when it's all said and done. You're the one I love, Kyle, forever and always."

The girls were all sharing tissues and had passed a couple Amanda as well. I could even feel the tears sitting in the brim of my eyes.

"I love you," I whispered so that only she could hear.

"Amanda, I want to remember today, for it is the beginning of always. A celebration of a chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. Together we will always be stronger than apart. And love will always be what binds us together. A bond that can never be severed no matter what obstacle is thrown our way. Today though, is mere formality, only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Amanda Kathryn Bloom I promise to love you, always."

The tears that were sitting on the brims of my eyes had fallen and Father Jacob continued.

"Do you Amanda Kathryn Bloom take this man, Kyle Adam Trager, to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," she beamed with tears trickling down her cheeks as she slipped my golden band on my finger.

"And do you Kyle Adam Trager take this woman, Amanda Kathryn Bloom, to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," I grinned and gently slid her wedding band onto her delicate finger.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

I leaned forward and cupped my hands around her soft cheeks and brought my lips to hers. She laced her hands around my neck and the guests applauded. The photographers went crazy with the pictures. I pulled back after a moment leaving a soft kiss on her lips and the guests applauded for a second time. I linked my arm to hers and took Brice's hand and the three of us walked back down the aisle as a complete family.

**AN: I've posted a few pictures on my profile (Amanda's dress, Kyle's tux, the flowers, etc…) let me know what you think of those. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. Please, feel free to comment! I have some free time coming up so I plan on getting some writing done. Thank you for reading and keep an eye out for the next one!**

**Happy Holidays **


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 38

Mr. & Mrs. Kyle Trager

"Photograph"- Nickelback

I spun Amanda around, under the gleaming lights that had been strung above us on the roof top of our apartment building where the party was held. This was our official first dance as husband and wife. Being here, dancing with my wife, felt right. In many ways it felt like this was our beginning of our lives. We twirled effortlessly as the song '18 floor balcony' by blue October played.

"I love you, Mrs. Trager." I grinned just saying her name.

"I love you too, Mr. Trager." She stretched up to reach her lips to mine. Even with my eyes closed I could still see the flashes of light produced by the photographers.

Brice ran onto the dance floor wanting to join us half way through the song. We held him between us and continued dancing.

"Having fun, buddy?" I asked

"Uh huh, Mommy you look beautiful," he complimented.

Amanda chuckled and blushed slightly. "Thank you, Bri, you look pretty handsome yourself."

The song ended and Hillary took Brice as Amanda danced with Jack to what would have been the father/ daughter dance, and I danced with Nicole.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Nicole had tears in her eyes.

"You grew up." She tried to smile with the tears still there. "I'm happy that you're married though, Amanda is a _very_ lucky girl."

"Thank you, Mom, for everything you've done for me," I whispered, causing her to tear up even more.

I danced with Amanda after the song ended and a new one began. From there I danced with Lori, and then Hillary. I was finally able to dance with Amanda again after that. We danced together for a couple songs and Brice joined us for a few of them. I took off my tux jacket after dancing for so long; it was too hot to wear.

Then it was time to cut the cake and everyone assembled around watched us feed cake to each other. When I saw Lori and Declan do this at their wedding I couldn't seem to understand why they made such a mess. Later Amanda had explained that it was another wedding tradition.

The guests ate desert and drank and danced well into the night. While Amanda was mingling with a few of the guest I stepped out to have a minute to myself. I walked to the part of the roof where none of the guests seemed to gather. I clasped my hands on the rail and gazed over the city, it was a wonderful sight at night.

"Congratulations." Immediately I recognized that voice and spun around.

I was shocked that she was actually here. "Jessi….What…What are you doing here?"

"You invited me." She raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't hear anything from you… I didn't think you were coming…I'm glad you're here though." I smiled giving her a hug; she stiffened as if I wasn't supposed to hug her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…it's just…. Nothing." She tried to smile to hide her lie. "I'm sorry I didn't go to the ceremony… It would have been-"

"It's alright, I understand. I'm just glad you're here now."

She nodded and was quiet for a moment as if she was contemplating what to say.

"I'm glad that you're happy, Kyle," she finally spoke.

I realized the last time she saw me I was a mess.

"Jessi, how could you leave?" The question seemed to fall out of my mouth effortlessly, before my mind had time to think. But it was something that had bothered me for a long time.

"I figured you'd want to talk about that." She paused. "Kyle… I knew that… With the way your life was going, with the way our life was going. We could never truly be happy."

"But how could you leave when it was you that I needed the most?" My voice was a little sterner than I had planned on it being.

"I was trying to do what was best; I was trying to think logically and not with my emotions." She looked me dead in the eye.

I was about to speak but she spoke first.

"Kyle, do you realized how big of a target we were to Latnok, when we were a part of each other's lives?" It was more of a rhetorical question because we both knew the answer.

"But why did leaving get to be your choice?" I couldn't help but feel a role reversal, I had, had this same conversation with Amanda years ago. Only I was able to come to the realization of how wrong I was.

"I spent a lot of my time wondering why you left, Jessi…I could never wrap my mind around it. I also could never come up with a reason that sufficed. There were many nights that I spent questioning your safety, where you were, even if you were still alive, Jessi." I kept my focus on the nightlife before me as I clutched the railing.

"Do you even realize how hard it was for me to leave you Kyle? I loved you! But I couldn't live in your shadow anymore..." Her tone was raised but not to the point of yelling.

"What does that even mean, Jessi?" I almost spat back.

"It means that as much as I loved you, I was losing myself," she said, a little more calmly. "It's always been your friends, your family, your past, and your life, Kyle.

"Knowing that Madacorp programmed my entire life, how I felt, the memories I had. I couldn't even trust my own thoughts anymore. I had to do what was best, I had to leave." She looked so vulnerable in that moment.

"Jessi…. I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"Daddy?" Brice called and I glance over my shoulder and saw him standing there. The sight of him completely changed my mood.

He hesitantly took steps toward me and hid behind my pant leg. I knelt down and picked him up.

"Brice, this is your Aunt Jessi." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jessi quickly hid a shocked expression. "Jessi this is my son-"

"Brice Kyle Trager," he spoke softly and held out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you Brice," Jessi smiled kindly and took his hand.

"Daddy, Aunt Lori wanted me to come get you," he whispered to me.

"Alright, let's figure out what your Aunt Lori wants," I chuckled. "Jessi, would you like to join us?" I asked.

She nodded cautiously then followed us back to the party. Lori only needed me to tell me it was almost time for Amanda to toss her bouquet, and for me to remove her garter. Nicole and Stephen were first to make their way over to greet Jessi. I let them talk while I found Amanda.

"May I cut in?" I asked politely, she was dancing with her grandfather.

"Oh, of course." He smiled and I took Amanda's hands.

"Thank you," I said, placing my hands around her hips.

"Enjoying yourself, Mrs. Trager?" I grinned.

"Very much," she beamed. "When did Jessi get here?" She questioned peering over my shoulder.

"Not long ago…Are you okay with that?" I wanted to make sure.

"Kyle, of course it's alright that she's here."

After the song ended, Amanda wanted to go greet Jessi. They were very cordial with one another. Jessi even had gone so far as to hug Amanda and congratulate her. They both had matured very much since the last time I saw them interact.

"Thank you, for being here for him," I heard Amanda whisper very softly into Jessi's ear when they hugged.

"Promise to be good to him," Jessi whispered back and Amanda just nodded.

Within moments we all could hear Hillary using the DJ's mike to call everyone's attention.

"Alright, lady's and gentlemen! It's time for the fabulous newlyweds to participate in the traditional tossing of the bouquet and removing of the garter!" Her voice was very energetic.

I led Amanda to the dance floor and all the single women gathered around. Amanda turned her back to the crowed and tossed her bouquet of flowers behind her. I watched as the flowers glided through the air and right into Hillary's hands. Of course she had to jump in front of two other women to catch the flowers.

A chair was brought out for Amanda, who took her seat gracefully. I knelt down before her; I lifted the bottom of her dress up and removed the garter with my teeth, and Amanda's heart rate increased ever so slightly. It was yet another wedding tradition that I didn't understand and probably never would. I stood up, after removing the garter, and leaned down to give Amanda a soft kiss. All the single men had lined up before me and I shot it straight at Paul.

Hillary and Paul caught glances at one another before the DJ announced that it was customary for them to dance at least once. I had caught the two of them stealing glances at one another all night; finally this was an ice breaker for them.

I watched as everyone interacted amongst one another, Jessi had surprised me by making conversation with Foss, who was also engaging in a conversation with an older man I didn't recognize. I tried to tune into their conversation but Andy came over and asked me to dance.

"Well congratulations, Kyle," Andy beamed as we danced.

"Thank you Andy." I tried to discreetly keep an eye on Foss and the mystery man, something about their demeanor was off. "So does this mean you and Josh are next?"

"Well, the boy has to man up first and ask," she joked.

"He will, don't worry," I chuckled slightly.

"Well I hope so, or else I've been wasting a pretty long time with this boy," she laughed.

It was nearing the end of the party when Amanda shared one last dance before having to say a quick thank you and goodbye to our guests before rushing down to our apartment. We changed our clothes into something a little more casual for the plane. I had to gently help Amanda out of her wedding gown. We had packed all our things the night before the rehearsal. I had to quickly print off the boarding passes this morning before the ceremony.

"This will be our first time leaving him." Amanda was nervous about leaving Brice while we went on our honeymoon.

"He'll be fine; Lori and Declan are going to be taking care of him. If they need any help they have my parents here. Brice is going to be alright," I reassured her as we threw last minute things into our carry-on bags.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Declan asked, poking his head into our room.

"Yeah, just two minutes," I said, and he nodded.

"He'll be okay," I said wrapping my arms around her. Truth be told I was a little nervous too.

I grabbed our bags and took Amanda's hand and we followed Declan down to the lobby. Our family was there to say goodbye. It was hard for Amanda and I to say goodbye to Brice; Lori and Declan made it a little easier for him by telling him about all the fun he'd have with them. We loaded up the back of the car with our two suitcases and kept our carry-on bags up front with us. I sat in back with Amanda as Stephen drove us to the airport.

We checked in our bags and said goodbye to Stephen before going through security and finding our gate.

"Now boarding flight 815 non-stop to Paris," one of the flight attendants called over the P.A not long after we sat down.

Once we boarded and found our seats we were able to sit down and relax. Amanda took the seat by the window and I took the one by the aisle. The plane took off when all the passengers were all settled. Amanda pushed the arm rest between us up so that she could lean on me while she slept. I had one arm around her and balanced a New England Medical journal on my lap. I dosed off myself not long after, resting my cheek on top of her head.

Jessi (POV)

Foss was right when he had said Kyle wasn't the same person he used to be. He had changed, for the better. When I had left him he wasn't Kyle, he didn't have the pure soul that he had once had. Reality had changed him: he was troubled. Seeing him dance with his wife, I knew I had made the right choice. Seeing him smile and laugh, I saw glimpses of the man he used to be… before Cassidy. She brought that out of him. She made him happy.

"How are you holding up?" It was Foss who pulled me from my thoughts.

"I'm fine," I paused watching Kyle again. "You were right."

"About what?" he questioned, slipping his hands into his pockets, he looked very uncomfortable in a tux.

"He's changed."

"Isn't that what we've wanted for him?" He asked. "Isn't that part of the reason why you left?"

"One of them…" I trailed off.

"Jessi…Do you… still love him?"

"A part of me will always love him, Foss, but I've been able to move on. I've been able to let myself be happy as well."

"Good," he mumbled. "Has Latnok made any contact with you?"

"I've been able to stay under the radar, thanks to your help," I smiled gratefully.

"Good," he muttered again.

"Jessi, now that you've made an appearance in his life again. Are you planning on staying?" I had been wondering the same question myself.

"I don't know Foss. I left to protect him, and now that he has a family, I don't want to put them in danger."

"Jessi, he's already in danger."

Kyle (POV)

Amanda and I were very tired from the flight; we had lost almost a whole day with the time change. Once we landed in Paris a cab took us to our hotel where we learned that we had been upgraded to the honeymoon suit.

"I'm going to take a bath," Amanda announced once we were alone in our room.

I nodded and began to unpack my bag. The honeymoon suit was really just a pent house suit. There was a large dark oak framed bed with white sheets and blanket, a brown throw blanket draped across the end of the bed. There was a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower from the long windows that over looked the city.

"Kyle?" Amanda called from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" I called back walking toward the door of the bathroom.

"Join me?" She smiled seductively when I stood in the doorway. The bubbles just barely covered her chest.

"Oh, I don't know Mrs. Trager," I joked, folding my arms over my chest as I leaned in the doorway. She had lit candles around the tub.

"Please?" she pouted, and I chuckled causing her to as well.

"Alright," I smiled unbuttoning my shirt and undoing my pants.

She moved so I would be able to sit with my back leaning against the end of the tub. She straddled my lap and immediately our lips were locked together. She tangled her hands through my hair and pressed herself closer to me. I knew exactly where this was going to go.

"I love you," I whispered looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I love you too," she replied and we continued on.

**AN: So this is the chapter that everyone has been waiting for, Jessi has finally made her appearance! I know it was long overdue but I'm glad that I have brought her in at a point where it fit well. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter, I know it's been a while since my last update. And I feel like I say that in every authors note that I write but I just feel bad when I take forever to update. I've just been dealing with final exams and papers, but now that that's over I hope to be able to update more often.**

**Thank you for reading! And I look forward to reading your comments, they are always welcome!**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 39

Bliss

"Sweet Dream"- Greg Laswell

Kyle (POV)

Amanda and I had spent most of the day touring the city. Being able to share this experience with her was amazing, it was wonderful to be able to see her so happy. We came back to the hotel room to relax a little before we went out for dinner.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, climbing onto the bed with her.

"Oh, the photographers sent us the digital prints from the wedding. They want us to pick which ones we want hard copies of," she explained as I slipped my arm around her.

"That's a good one," I said, pointing to the candid shot of Amanda and I dancing with Brice.

"I didn't even see that one." She smiled, clicking on it to enlarge the image. "This one goes to the 'yes file.'"

"Which ones are in the 'yes file'?" I asked.

"Just the few I've looked at from the reception. I haven't even looked at the ones from the ceremony yet," she admitted, clicking through the ones she had chosen.

"That's a good one of you and Declan," she said, pointing out the one of us grinning, his arm slung around my shoulders and mine around his.

We went through most of the photos. There were the traditional ones of Amanda and I in the garden, after we kissed, as we said our vows, Jack leading her down the aisle. A few ones of the grooms men and I, then ones of her and the bridesmaids. We seemed to pick a lot of the candid shots of the wedding, some were posed but that didn't really matter.

"It's almost 6 o'clock; we should get ready for dinner," I said, glancing at my watch.

"I still can't believe that you were able to call this morning and get a reservation at the restaurant in the Eiffel tower," she said, closing her laptop and setting it on the night stand, about to get up from the bed.

"Well I guess I just have a way with French words," I smirked, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her back down to the bed.

"Kyle!" she giggled as I rested on my forearm hovering over her.

She rested her hand on my side as I caressed her check with my thumb and stared into her eyes. I pecked her lips ever so softly before delving into a deeper kiss. I moved my hand along her side until I reached her thy, and hitched it around my hip. I moved my lips from hers, along her jaw line and down her neck as she worked to lift my black t-shirt off of me. She arched and caused us to roll so that she was on top of me, unbuckling my belt. I had been able to remove her tank top and throw it to the floor. I flipped us back over so that I was on top of her again, and tore off her jeans, seeing as how she had already removed mine.

Declan (POV)

It was starting to get really cold out at night as November grew on. I came out of my last class for the night wishing I had remembered to bring my jacket. I pulled the hood of my white hoodie closer to my face as I walked home to the apartment.

"It is freezing outside," I said, dumping my backpack on floor in the hallway and kicked off my shoes.

"You forgot you jacket again…" Lori gathered, looking up from playing on the floor with Brice. "Your Uncle Declan isn't always the smartest man, Brice."

"That really hurts, Trager," I said, plopping down on the floor to join them. "How's your day been?"

"It was great; I spent a few hours in the studio and met with my agent for lunch. She wants me to start producing for new artists. We even talked about starting a record label."

Whenever she talked about her music she always seemed so passionate about it. "That's wonderful, Lori. When would all this start?" I asked, taking the ball the Brice had handed me.

"That's what I'm not sure of; I don't think I would want to go into this completely blind. I thought about talking to Amanda when she and Kyle get back; since she's been working with the Street Records she would know where to start," she rambled a little

"Wow, this is great! I'm really proud of you, Lori." I leaned over and kissed her.

"Thank you, I just feel like things are finally starting to fall into place," she grinned.

"Well that's because it finally is." I smiled, tossing the ball back to Brice. "Have you guys eaten yet?"

"Yeah, we did, there's leftovers in the fridge though," she said

I hopped up and made my way to the kitchen. As I re-heated the chicken and macaroni and cheese, I could hear Lori tell Brice it was time to take a bath and get ready for bed. I took my food back to the living room and pulled out a few my books from class, our final exams were coming up and I needed to start studying.

"He wants you to read him a bed time story," Lori said, plopping down next to me on the couch. "If you're busy I can do it."

"No, it's not a problem, I'll do it." I set aside my books and went down the hall to his temporary room.

"Hey, little man, what book is it tonight?" I asked, moving the chair to his bed side.

"This one, Uncle Declan," he said, handing me the same book I read him last night.

I started the book and was able to get halfway through it before he asked me when Kyle and Amanda would be home.

"They'll be home on Saturday. Just two more days, okay?" I reminded him.

"But I don't understand why they left in the first place." He was having a hard time with this.

"Well every once in a while, mommy's and daddy's need to have their alone time." I tried to keep it simple. "You'll understand when you're older. Now how about we finish this book and you get to sleep."

He nodded reluctantly and I continued on with the book. His eyes were drooping by the last page, so I tucked him in and said goodnight before leaving the room to get back to my work.

Kyle (POV)

Amanda curled up on my lap, as we lounged on the sofa by the window. It was our last night here, and due to the fact that it was pouring outside we made the decision to stay in. We ordered room service and just relaxed enjoying the view of the city we had.

"Do we have to leave?" she mused, sipping her wine.

"We have family to get back to," I chuckled, tightening my arm around her for a moment.

"I wonder how our little boy is doing," she smiled.

"Hopefully he's having fun with his aunt and uncle."

"Was it weird to see Jessi at the wedding?" she asked, completely changing the subject.

"She seems different. I didn't really get to talk to her that much but…" I trailed of taking a sip of my own glass of wine.

"But?" she asked, waiting for me to finish.

"She told me that she left because she felt if she stayed she would lose herself." I finished.

"What did she mean by, 'lose herself'?" she questioned.

"Jessi, never truly knew a life other than what Madacorp had programmed her to know. And anything other than that has been related to me. Her exact words were 'It's always been your family, your friends, your past, _your_ life.' I guess she left to find herself."

"Is she back to stay now?"

"I honestly don't know. If Jessi is anything like Sarah was, I doubt she'll be here for long."

"Do you _want_ her to stay?" I knew I had to be careful answering this question.

"I love the life I have now, with you and Brice and the rest of the family. That doesn't mean that I don't worry about her from time to time. She's the only one left that knows what its like-"

"To be you," she finished. I couldn't help but feel I had hurt her by saying that.

"Amanda, I'm sor-"

"No, Kyle, I understand that there is a part of your life that Jessi will always understand more than I can. You guys have a past, its fine, everyone has their baggage. It's not like we're seventeen anymore." She was definitely right, and this was a mature side of Amanda that I loved to see.

"I love you Mrs. Trager," I smiled

"Besides, I've already won: We're married," she joked, shifting to straddle my lap.

"Oh really? What does that mean?" I grinned.

"Well it means I get to do this…" she mumbled, kissing my lips. "And this…" She began to unbutton my shirt.

"Well than by all means…" I chuckled, standing up with her locked around my waist.

**AN: Hey everyone! This chapter was pretty much fluff but it was fun to write. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this new chapter! And I hope to hear from you guys with any feedback; ideas, things you want to see happen, everything is welcome and appreciated! **


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 40

Trust

"I'd be lying"- Greg Laswell

Kyle (POV)

*4 months later*

"So this was Adam's?" I questioned, taking in the beauty of the land.

"Yeah, Adam left this to you when he died." Foss paused. "I'm not exactly sure what his intentions were for this land. I came across a few of his blue prints; I think he was planning on building a safe house closer to Seattle."

We had taken a ferry boat to get here and it over looked the bay that coasted downtown Seattle. The tree line dipped down perfectly causing an outstanding view of the water and skyline. I look around the clearing where we stood; I could only imagine what Adam had planned.

"And now this land is mine?" I asked, slipping my hands into the pockets of my coat.

"Yeah, yeah I guess it is…" he smirked.

"You said he had blueprints?" I questioned.

"They're back at the warehouse," he paused. "I just wanted to let you know about this land, as to what you do with it, that's up to you."

I nodded, but before I could speak my pager beeped.

"Thought it was your day off?"

"I thought so too…I've got to go; I'll stop by the warehouse on my way home if it isn't too late," I sighed reluctantly, wishing I wasn't on call today.

"I'm going to stay out here, see if I can find anything." I nodded.

I took the ferry boat back to the city and drove my car to the hospital. Once I was there I quickly changed into my scrubs and checked who paged me.

"I received a page," I told one of the nurses at the desk.

"A young lady told me to page you. She said you were her brother. She's sitting over there," she pointed over my shoulder to the waiting area, where I spotted Lori sitting by herself.

"Is everything alright Lori?" I asked making my way over to her.

"Yeah… I need your help with something, and you _cannot_ tell Declan. At least not now anyway." She seemed a little on edge.

"Lori, why don't we go to another room?" I placed my hand on the small of her back leading her to one of the empty exam rooms.

"What's going on?" I asked once we were alone.

"You have to promise me that you won't tell Declan." She demanded.

"Lori…"

"Kyle," she warned.

"Alright, I won't tell him, now what is going on?" I insisted.

She paced for a moment. "I think I might be pregnant," she finally blurted out.

"Are you sure?" I could understand why she was nervous but I couldn't help but be happy for her as well.

"Well, I peed on a stick and a pink little plus sign magically appeared. As far as having it confirmed: you're the first doctor I've seen," she ranted.

"We'll do a blood test then, and go from there." I placed my hand on her shoulder. "But I really think you should tell Declan."

"We weren't planning on this, Kyle; it's just something that happened. And he has so much to worry about right now with finishing up med school; I don't want to tell him until I'm sure that I'm pregnant."

"Okay, okay… If that's what you want, I won't say anything," I promised, pulling her into a hug. "It's going to be okay Lori."

"Thank you, Kyle." She calmed down a little.

I left to get an I.V. kit from the supply room and came back.

"You'll feel a pinch," I warned sticking the needle into one of her veins.

I got the blood I needed and sent it down to the lab.

"How long until we get the results back?" she asked.

"About an hour," I paused. "We can go get coffee if you want."

"Alright," she smiled.

I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Come on," I smiled leading her to the cafeteria.

"One Calomel tea," I said, handing her the cup and taking a seat on the bench next to her outside.

"Thank you…" she mumbled. "Kyle? You and Amanda haven't had a…"

"A pregnancy scare?" I finished.

She nodded, sipping her tea.

"No, we've always been very careful," I chuckled softly, putting my arm around her. "It will be okay Lori. Besides, didn't you guys plan on this happening eventually?"

"Yeah, but not now. Declan is still in med-school, I'm trying to get a label going…it's just… bad timing."

"Well there is always the chance that the test you took was wrong. You may not be pregnant," I reminded her, but there was also the same possibility that she was. And it would be too early in the pregnancy for me to detect a heartbeat, even with my hearing.

"I've thrown up every morning for the past week. On top of that I'm late." So the chances of her being pregnant were higher than I thought.

"You'll make this work. Don't worry," I reassured her, squeezing my arm around her shoulders. "Let go see if your blood test is ready."

I checked with the lab for her results and read them as I walked back to the room I had left her in. According to the blood test, there was no doubt that she was indeed pregnant.

"Well?" she questioned as I slipped through the door.

"You're pregnant," I smiled.

"Okay, okay. We weren't planning on this but Declan and I can make this work… We'll be okay" she tried to assure herself as she paced.

"We should really do an ultrasound, and I think you should call Declan," I said calmly, causing her to stop mid pace.

"I have to tell Declan…" She paused and turned to me. "I'm not ready to tell him."

"Lori, I think he'd want to be here for his baby's _first_ ultrasound," I reminded her.

She turned away from me looking out the window, lost in thought.

"I know if it were Amanda in your situation, I would want to be here," I spoke after a moment.

"You're right…" she said over her shoulder. "I'll call him."

"Okay, I'm going to go get another doctor for the ultrasound," I said before leaving.

I went to the nurse's desk to page Dr. Robins, the OB/GYN. She was helping out in the pit today and I knew she would appreciate getting out of there. One of the nurse's, Todd, needed help setting an IV on a patient so before I could go back into Lori's room I had to help him. I ran into Declan as I was leaving the patient's room.

"Kyle, where's Lori? Is she okay?" Panic covered his face.

"She's fine Declan," I calmed his nerves. "She needs to talk to you though; she's in there."

"What's going on?" he questioned, and I urged him to go into the room.

I waited outside the door for a moment, and was joined by an average height, skinny, woman, with straight brown hair: Dr. Robins.

"Called in on your day off, Trager? Who'd you piss off?" she joked with a slight smirk playing on her lips.

"My sister."

"And I think it's safe to assume that she is the one in need of an ultrasound, not you," she continued with her teasing as she read over the chart.

"Yeah, she's in there with her husband. He didn't know, and she just found out," I explained ignoring her teasing.

"Ouch… That's tough… Well let's go get this over with," she whispered before knocking on the door and opening it.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Robins; I'll be performing the ultrasound today," she said cheerfully extending her hand to Lori.

"I'm Lori, this is my husband Declan." Declan mumbled a hello, he seemed a little nervous about the whole situation.

Dr. Robins explained the test like I had seen her do multiple times before. Then she got the monitor set up and Lori changed into a gown.

"This will be a little cold," she warned before squirting the gel on Lori's abdomen.

Declan stood quietly beside Lori holding her hand as they watched the monitor tentatively.

"This mass of cells in your uterus is your baby." Declan had already noticed the baby before Dr. Robins pointed it out. I watched as the grin spread across his face, and his eyes glistened in joy.

"That's our baby." Lori mused; all her nerves washed away replaced with a grin that matched Declan's.

"That's our baby!" she cheered, tearing her eyes away from the screen to look at Declan.

They shared a simple kiss, and Dr. Robins began to explain the next nine months to them. I wished them my congratulations before slipping out of the room, not wanting to intrude on their moment any longer. I went back to the locker room to change into my street clothes. My light grey sweater and dark wash jeans.

On my way out of the hospital I sent a text to Foss saying I was on my way over to the warehouse. On the drive over I thought of Lori and Declan becoming parents. I was happy for them; they have always been great with Brice, so I wasn't worried for them at all. I knew that it would be tough for them to adjust to the needs of their child, but I knew they would be fine.

The tires crunched on the gravel as I pulled up to the warehouse. I slipped out of my jacket and threw it onto the passenger seat, noticing the warmer temperature as I got out of the car.

"Foss?" I called out, opening the metal door.

"Back here," he called back.

I followed the sound of his voice and found him hovering over a table with the blueprints spread out across it.

"The blueprints," I concluded.

"Yeah, take a look," he replied, taking a slight step to the side.

The layout was fairly simple; it was smaller than his last house, a lot more open. I noticed more windows, and a porch that wrapped around the northern and eastern walls of the house until it connected with the front porch. With the layout of the house I knew the windows that covered most of the back and right side walls were meant for the view from the property.

"He always felt that the old house was a dungeon, kept him trapped from the world," Foss finally spoke. "That's why he spent most of his time in the garden…"

The first level of the house had a kitchen, there wasn't a formal dining room but there was a table that would have been placed just off of the kitchen, in the corn of the room overlooking the view. From there, there weren't any barriers connecting the family room it all flowed together. The stair case to the second level was to the left of the front door, with a slight hallway in between it too flowed with the rest of the first level. There was a spare bedroom off of the kitchen as well as a small bathroom.

My eyes scanned the second level of the house; they stopped for a moment when I noticed Adam's hand writing. He had written 'Kyle's room' on the bedroom that had the best view. He planned on building this after I came to live with him. There was a loft that connected the other room to what would have been mine. I assumed that room was supposed to Adam's and that the loft would have been used as a study.

"He thought of everything…" I spoke not looking away from the blueprints.

"That was Adam for you." Foss said softly. "But this land is yours now, you can leave it like it is, you can build a house for your family, you can do whatever you want with it."

"I know," I said finally looking up at him.

Before I could say anymore we heard the metal doors open.

"Tom, I hope you know-" The man stopped mid-sentence when he came into view with us.

"Christopher, what—what are you doing here?" Foss stumbled on his words.

"I came by to drop this off…" he answered, handing Foss a thin envelope without breaking eye contact with me.

"Kyle, this isn't the way I wanted you to meet, but…" He paused. "This is Christopher Baylin. Adam's father, your grandfather…"

The man looked to be in his late 60's early 70's. I could see the resemblance between him and Adam. He had the same blue green eyes that Adam had and that I had inherited as well. Even the way he stood resembled Adam's demeanor.

"I've waited a long time to meet you Kyle," he said while holding out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you too," I said, taking his hand. That was when I noticed the Latnok ring. "Latnok?"

Instantly my heart rate increased and I dropped his hand.

"Kyle, it's okay," Foss tried to assure me. "He's on our side, we can trust him."

"Kyle…I'm not here to hurt you…" His voice reminded me of Adam's.

"With everything Latnok has done, I hope you can understand, my hesitation." The sternness in my voice was something I hadn't heard in a long time.

"Of course I can, Kyle, if I could take back every wrongful action Latnok has taken against you, believe me I would."

"His only intentions are to help you, Kyle," Foss said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I know with my involvement with Latnok, I don't deserve this, but would you mind taking a walk with me? So I can explain things…" He smiled faintly.

I looked to Foss; there was no doubt that he could see my hesitation. He nodded in encouragement letting me know it was okay.

"If you're a part of Latnok, why would you be on my side?" I asked, matching my pace to his when we were outside.

"You're my grandson," he said simply.

"Cassidy was my half brother, and his only intentions were to harm myself and my family," I retorted.

He stopped abruptly on the pier and turned to me. "There is nothing I can say to take back his actions, or the emotional toll it has taken on you. But just know this, I am sorry. Cassidy was only searching for the approval of his mother and he took matters into his own hands. I haven't approved of many of the measures Latnok has taken against you, Kyle"

"Kyle, I'm going to be honest with you, my relationship with Adam wasn't always the best. In my younger days I was a very career oriented man and I've always regretted that. Adam was the first to notice the changed in Latnok's intentions from the beginning of our experiments with you. He tried to get me to see them as well, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. It's one of the many decisions that I'm not proud of." He was being truthful another quality that Adam and he shared.

"Christopher, I would like to say that I can fully trust you, but I then I would be the one being dishonest." I sighed, wishing my words weren't true.

"I understand Kyle; I have to earn your trust. That's to be expected." He placed his hand on my shoulder as we walked back in the direction of the warehouse. "You know, you look identical to Adam…" He chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile as well.

**AN: So another appearance from Christopher. Liking the character? Hating the character? Let me know! Also I want to know where you the readers would like to see this go. It doesn't have to be related to Christopher at all, it can be whatever you guys have ideas about. Anyway just leave a comment with your thoughts; I hope you enjoyed this new chapter!**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 41

""-

Brothers

Kyle (POV)

*Four months later (Again…)*

I sat at the kitchen table in the kitchen of the home where I had grown up. Before me was a boy that resembled my past. He was physically 17 years old but mentally the equivalent of a new born. The boy watched me with great curiosity, mimicking my posture and every movement. He still had yet to speak a word since Foss and I had brought him here this morning. With everything that had happened today, Foss, Christopher and Jessi were hunkered down in my old room working on damage control.

I was trying to make things as simple as I could for the boy who sat with me, knowing exactly what he was going through. I placed a banana in front of him and took one for myself, I peeled my own having him watch and within a few seconds he picked up on what to do and began to peel his own banana. Then he analyzed my movements as I began to eat it, he picked up on that skill too, and mimicked my actions.

I could hear Foss arguing with Christopher about what was the next best thing to do. Not long after I heard Jessi slip out of the room and make her way to the kitchen. I instructed the boy to finish the banana and he seemed to understand because when I stood up he didn't. I went to the coffee maker to pour myself a cup of coffee.

"Want a cup?" I asked, sensing Jessi's presence in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Please?" Her voice sounded hopeful.

I chuckled and handed her my mug before pouring another. She took a seat on one of the stools at the counter and nursed her coffee.

"Jessi, I just wanted to thank you. We wouldn't have been able to do half of what we've done today without your help," I spoke in a soft tone as I grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured it into my coffee.

"I wouldn't have missed being a part of this for a minute Kyle. You of all people know how I feel about Latnok," she slightly mumbled the last bit.

"I remember your reaction when I called and told you our plan four months ago…" I chuckled slightly taking a sip of my coffee.

"I still can't believe it's taken us four months to do all this," she laughed slightly.

"I had to make them believe I was one of them…that took time."

"Has he said anything yet?" she asked, peering over her shoulder at him.

"No…but he's only been out of the pod for a few hours…I think it will take some time." He must have picked up on us talking about him, because after a moment he looked up at me and smiled slightly.

"What do we call him?" Jessi asked shifting in her seat so she could look at the both of us.

That stumped me for a second. "I've never had to name anyone."

"Well he needs a name, Kyle." She pointed out. "And he is your brother so…"

"I can only imagine what Adam would have wanted to name him if he were alive, if he even knew about him." I trailed off a little.

"He kind of looks like an Owen or a Wyatt…" She trailed off a little.

"Nathan," I said, and for some reason he responded slightly: there was a change in his eyes.

"Why Nathan?" Jessi pondered.

"It was Adam's younger brother's name…" Christopher finished for me as he joined us. "Kyle, I didn't know that you knew about Nathan, Adam didn't like to talk about him after he died."

"When I was living with Adam, I came across a photo of them. He was a little hesitant to tell me but eventually he did," I shrugged.

"Oh…Foss wants to go over things with you, so Jessi and I will keep an eye on him."

I nodded and left but stopped in the doorway for a moment.

"Christopher, did Adam know about…Nathan?" I turned slightly when I asked him.

"I didn't even know about him until a few months before Latnok had me contact you," he admitted. "I assume that Adam was left in the dark about it as well. Grace must have made a point to save DNA from Adam as a backup in case you weren't up to her standards."

"I really would like to meet this woman one day," my voice was stern.

I found Foss hunched over a map that he had spread out across my desk in my old room.

"What's all this?" I mumbled, peering over his shoulder at the map.

"We have to get you guys out of here for a while," Foss muttered.

"How long?" I asked, thinking about my family and my job.

"Long enough for me to take care of things here. With everything we've done there's no doubt that the board members are seeking help from another Latnok chapter."

I nodded. "What about my family?"

"They'll be safe; Amanda and Brice are going to continue with their plan to fly to New York. Lori and Declan will go with them so Declan can keep them safe for you." He paused. "Your parents are going to stay here it would look to suspicious if they were to leave unexpectedly, I'll have someone looking in on them. Josh and Andy are going to do the same.

"This was for the best Kyle; with what Latnok was planning on doing…We didn't have a choice." He must have picked up on the concern and regret I was feeling. "With the plans they had for that boy out there and all the clones they were planning on creating…"

"I know, I know, but it doesn't make leaving my family any easier."

"Believe me, I know," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Everything will work out though."

Foss's compassionate side was something that I didn't get to see too often, but it was always nice when I did.

"So what's the plan?" I asked, turning my attention back to the maps and papers.

"You and Jessi are going to take the boy-"

"Nathan," I provided his new name for Foss.

"You're going to take Nathan, to a cabin in Vancouver and hide out there for a little while. Christopher will stay back here for a few days and try and get in contact with other board members and see what their next move is. They still think he's on their side." I couldn't help but notice the smirk on Foss's face. "I'll stay back too until I'm sure things here have calmed down, then I'll make my way up to you guys."

I nodded and he continued.

"This backpack has everything you'll need," he said, picking up a faded dark blue backpack from the floor and opening it on the desk. "There's enough cash to last you guys about a month or two if you're careful. I'll have Nathan's passport ready before you leave tonight. There's an untraceable laptop and three cell phones in here, even though their untraceable try not to use them too much. Amanda and your parents each have a cell phone just like these, just in case. Here's the map and directions and the keys to the place. I also switched the plates on the car to California plates just as a precaution."

"I'm going to go by your apartment to pack you a bag of clothes…it's too risky for you to leave. Is there anything that you need?"

I shook my head no and he was gone.

I looked around the room; my tub was still here from my wedding. I sat on the edge for a moment gathering my thoughts. Just two days ago I was saying goodbye to Amanda and Brice, sending them off to New York. She and Lori had been working with a few contacts out in New York to start getting their record label going. We were just lucky it gave her and Brice an excuse to get out of Seattle for a while. I turned on the phone Foss had given me and dialed Amanda's number, I knew it was nearing midnight for her but I just needed to talk to her. To hear her voice.

"Hey…" I whispered softly when I heard her pick up.

"_Kyle,"_ she spoke quietly as well.

"I hope I didn't wake you, I know it's late."

"_No, its fine. The truth is I haven't been able to sleep much. I'm just so glad to finally hear from you. Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine, we're all fine. We just have to stay low for a while…"

"_How long?"_

"We're not sure yet…Foss is planning things for a month or two…" She was quiet, and I could understand why. "I'm sorry," I finally spoke.

"_We knew that this was a likely outcome."_ I could tell she was upset, not angry—but sad.

"I really wish it wasn't, I wish I could be there for you and Brice. I should be there to protect you guys."

"_You're doing the best you can, but right now you have to protect your brother. He needs you right now. Brice and I will be fine."_

"I love you, Amanda…" I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes.

"_I love you too…always. Please be safe though."_ Her voice was wavering a little and all I wanted to do was be there holding her in my arms.

"I will, and I'll be back as soon as it's safe," I tried to reassure her. "I'll try to contact you as soon as I can. Please, tell Brice that I love him and that I'll be home soon."

"_I will…"_ she choked out.

"I love you…" I said once more.

"_I love you too…"_ And that was the last thing she said before we ended the phone call.

I closed the phone and rested my elbows on my knees, holding my head in my hands. Before I even had time to register that Foss was back and it was time for us to go.

"It looks like that's everything," Foss said as he and I loaded up the last bag into the back of the Jeep. One bag for me, one for Jessi, and Foss had grabbed some of my clothes and packed a bag for Nathan as well.

"Try your best not to make too many stops along the way," Foss warned. "I'll start making my way up there in a couple of days."

"Thank you, Foss. Be safe," I said as I climbed into the passenger seat.

"You too, Kyle," he said through the open window.

Jessi took the first shift driving and I slept, while Nathan sat in the back seat of the Jeep. She was able to drive all the way to the boarder before I made her pull over so we could switch and I would drive the rest of the way. Once we had cleared through the boarder check without any problems, Jessi took the opportunity to sleep.

I glanced in the rear-view mirror at Nathan; he just sat quietly and watched the few cars go by his window. He had barely even shifted his posture from when we first left Seattle.

"This all has to be very…confusing, for you Nathan," I spoke and I wasn't one hundred percent sure that he was listening but I thought he was somewhat when he turned his head in my direction. "Just know that everything is going to be okay, Nathan, I'm your brother, and I'm going to take care of you... I promise."

He was quiet for the longest time, not making a single sound. I had almost lost hope that he was listening before he finally made a notion that he was.

"…Brothers…" This was the first time I had heard a word out of him since he had come out of the pod.

"Brothers," I said back, looking directly into his eye's through the mirror and he mine.

**AN: Okay everyone I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it brings up a LOT of questions, and it's a bit of a time jump. I've been working on the next chapter so hopefully that will be up soon and it will answer a few questions. Anyway, please comment with your thoughts, as always they are greatly appreciated! **


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 42

Cabin life

"You Found Me"- The Fray

Kyle (POV)

We arrived at the cabin in the early hours of the morning. Jessi immediately started organizing and setting up whatever was in the backpack Foss gave us. Nathan stood off to the side observing Jessi and trying his best to stay out of her way. I stepped outside onto the porch of the cabin to get a little fresh air and a moment to myself.

I sat on the old warn down wooden bench and gazed up at the sky. It was still pretty dark out: the sun wouldn't be making an appearance for another hour or so. We were in the middle of nowhere so the stars were quiet visible without the light pollution that the city provided. This was my favorite time of day, the stillness of my surroundings and the peace it brought, created a sense of optimism as the beginning of a new day lingered in the morning air. This was the time of day where I felt that everything that plagued my mind simply didn't matter anymore. Even just for a moment I was able to escape from it all.

I rested my eyes for a moment, and listened to the sounds of the woods that engulfed the cabin. I slowed my breathing letting everything go, all the worries that had built up over the last four months didn't matter in that instant. And just as quickly as that simplicity had come it was interrupted.

"Kyle," Jessi whispered from the doorway off of the kitchen to the porch where I sat.

"Hmm?" I mumbled without opening my eyes.

"Everything is all set up; I figured you and Nathan could bunk together, there are only two bedrooms. I'll move up to the loft when Foss gets here. Nathan found some books that seem to be holding his interest... Why don't you go lay down for a couple of hours?" she suggested.

"I'm fine; I just needed some fresh air." To be honest I wouldn't mind stretching out in a bed, but I didn't want to leave Jessi to have to look after Nathan.

"Kyle, your senses are down, which usually only happens if you've gone days without sleeping." The bad part about Jessi was that she could not only see through my white lies but she also sensed my body's needs. Being apart for so long it was weird to get used to again. "At least go and rest, you don't have to sleep but rest will do you good."

It was also strange having to get used to this side of Jessi—a more rational and in some sense caring side of her.

"Only for an hour," I gave in, standing up and walking past her through the kitchen and down the small hall to the bedroom on the right.

I saw that my black duffle bag had been tossed onto the bottom bunk, while Nathan's sat on the top bunk. I moved the bag to the floor and stretched out on the bed, not bothering to move the blankets. I folded my arms across my chest, and stared at the bunk above me. The bed was cramped compared to the bed I shared with Amanda; it felt odd lying in a bed without her next to me. As I lay there, my thoughts wandered to the events that had played out in the last four months.

FLASHBACK:

"When…How did…How did you find all this out?" Amanda asked, a loss for words, after I had explained to her that Latnok had started the experiments again, and had used Adam and Grace's DNA.

"Christopher came to me with the information a few months ago, just before the wedding. I wasn't able to tell Kyle until recently," Foss told her as I shifted in my seat at the kitchen table in our apartment.

"And how was Latnok planning on involving you it this?" she asked me as she stirred her tea.

"Christopher said that they already have one child created. They were planning on me teaching him everything I know how to do, then eventually becoming his competition, until they felt he knew enough for them to begin experimenting with cloning him," I explained.

"And they just expected you to do this willingly?" I could hear the frustration in her voice.

"That's why they've wanted Christopher to get close to me. That's also why for the last month we've been making it look like their plan is working." I turned in my chair, so that I could face her more properly and took her hand in mine.

"So what are we going to do?" She was somewhat calmer.

I look over at Foss, across the table, and he took the subtle hint that he should explain. "We're going to wait a few months before we start anything. In the mean time, Kyle and I feel that you and Declan should train with me, at least learn basic self defense maneuvers, just in case. Once the time comes that Kyle and I make any move to take down Latnok, everyone will have to stay low for a while after."

"What exactly are you two planning on doing?"

I stood up from the table and leaned on the counter. This was the part of the plan that I resented the most.

"Once we've extracted the child and he is safe… Kyle will take care of wiping all information that they have stored on their data base. I'll have no choice but to take care of the facility. It's the only way to ensure Kyle's and the rest of the family's safety."

END OF FLASHBACK:

I found the fatigue of my body being to overpower my mind, before I knew it I had drifted off to sleep. When I awoke I waited for a moment to open my eyes, I let my body slowly wake up first. Eventually when I brought myself to open my eyes, the sun was pouring in through the shades over the single window in the bedroom. It must have been late in the afternoon given the sun's position. I sat up and stretched, careful not to hit my head on the bunk above me. My joints popped and my muscles felt like rubber bands that had been stretched a little too far.

When I left the bedroom I found that Nathan was still in the living room, where Jessi had set everything up. He had made it through half of the books that covered the wall to floor book shelves.

"Hello, Nathan," I acknowledged as I sat beside him on the couch.

He glanced up at me from his book carefully. "Hello…Ky-le." I guess reading these books had helped him a little with his conversational skills. He was getting the hang of it faster than I had.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, rubbing my stomach, hoping it would help him understand.

His eye brows knit together in confusion.

"Do you want to eat food?" I tried, but he still didn't understand.

I took his book and set it on the coffee table amongst all that other books and stood up and motioned for him to follow me into the kitchen. Before we made the trip out to the cabin we stopped in town for food to stock the kitchen. Jessi was sitting at the table, working on some project.

I opened the fridge and took out two vanilla yogurts. I handed him one and showed him how to open it before snatching two spoons from the drawer. I began to eat my yogurt and soon enough he understood what I was doing.

"This is eating," I explained. "People usually eat food three times a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner." I was trying my best to keep things really simple.

He finished the yogurt and seemed to understand the concept of food, for the most part at least. I took him back to his books and let him continue reading the encyclopedia he was working on before I had interrupted him.

"What are you working on?" I questioned, sitting down across from Jessi at the table.

"Foss wanted me to make sure that we're keeping up with our training schedules. He also wants us to start training Nathan," she explained, peering up from her laptop.

"Shouldn't Nathan work on basic social and behavioral concepts?" I pointed out, not wanting to push Nathan too fast.

"He's already read through four of the five volumes of the encyclopedia in the last 3 hours. At this rate he'll have read through all the 175 books in that living room by tomorrow afternoon. He's picking up on things at an alarming rate. Way faster than you or I did," she reminded me.

"Have you had a chance to go through any of the information we were able to copy from Latnok about the experiment," I asked out of curiosity.

"I've only glanced at it, from what I've gathered they altered the fluid a little to help expand his intelligence level. I can only imagine what he will be capable of."

As she spoke I peered into the living room where Nathan was busy at work reading. I didn't think any of us really knew what we were getting ourselves into. I could only hope that our influence would make him better off than the influence Latnok was planning on providing.

ONE WEEK LATER:

Nathan was now able to make conversation, though his grammar was that of a ten year old. The fact that he was picking up on things so quickly intrigued both Jessi and I. The concept of daily patterns was starting to sink in for him. Things like sleeping, eating, bathing he seemed to understand the necessity of.

It was 7:30 in the morning and Jessi had already had us out on a ten mile run. As we were finishing the last quarter mile, I noticed Foss's truck parked behind the Jeep.

"Glad to see you're keeping up with training," he greeted as he grabbed his backpack from the truck.

"Nathan, you remember that this is Tom Foss, right?" I wanted to clarify which people were for Nathan's benefit.

"Foss," he repeated, nodding slightly.

"Right, it's good to see you're making progress," Foss noted as we all found our way inside.

We fell into our morning routine that consisted of Jessi and me making breakfast while Nathan showered, than Nathan would set the table while Jessi showered, than it was finally my turn to shower after breakfast. Most of our physical training took place before breakfast. Between breakfast and lunch Jessi and I worked on teaching Nathan our 'special' talents. The rest of the day was spent doing whatever we felt like doing. Usually Nathan and I would spend time together while Jessi researched.

As I sat three full mugs of coffee down on the table and Jessi joined the rest of us for breakfast. I asked Foss what he was able to find out after I had taken a few bites.

"Christopher is still trying to get some more information. I think the board members may be a little suspicious of him so I think he'll stay in Seattle. I think they're watching him the most and if he comes up here it will blow our cover," he explained, pouring milk into his coffee.

"How long are you expecting us to be out here?" Jessi was the first to ask the question we both were curious about.

"We'll have to plan that out. I'm expecting you both to be here for at least another two to three weeks." That meant that in total we would be here for at least a month.

Nathan sat quietly beside me as we continued talking. After breakfast was over and we had cleaned everything up Jessi and I worked with Nathan. We were trying to get him to manipulate the polarity of water. Foss was inside trying to make sense of the information we were able to collect from Latnok.

Later that night, after dinner, Foss found me on the porch. I must have had an "Amanda look" or else he wouldn't have brought it up.

"You should call her to check in," he said, handing me a beer. "You look like you could use one."

"It's too dangerous to call too often," I said taking the beer and popping the cap off the bottle.

"Last time you called her was in Seattle. I don't think a short phone call will hurt. It will give you both some peace of mind." He left the untraceable phone on the ledge of the railing before heading back into the cabin.

There were two rings before she answered. "Kyle!" It was a half whisper, half excited. Hearing her voice made me smile.

"Hey, I miss you," I admitted right away.

"I miss you too; it's so good to finally hear from you. Is everything okay?" she rambled a little.

"Everyone is fine, we got here…" I paused, I wasn't supposed to say where exactly we where. Not even to Amanda. "We made it here safe."

"That's good," she added.

"How are you guys? How's Brice handling everything?" I asked, knowing I wouldn't like the answer.

"Brice is doing alright; he's been spending a lot of time with Declan while Lori and I work. Lori seems to be getting bigger every day; I'm starting to wonder if she's carrying triplets or something," she joked, trying to keep things light.

We talked for another five minutes before having to go. It was pretty late for her and she had meetings the next morning. I sat down on that old bench again and was alone for a moment until Jessi came out and joined me.

"How is Amanda?" she asked, sitting beside me.

"She's hanging in there," I said.

"You hate being apart from her." It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"She's my wife; of course I hate having to be away from her." It came off harsher than I had intended. "I'm sorry Jessi, it's just everything is so screwed up. Right when things seem to be normal in my life, Latnok swoops right in."

"This is our life Kyle; this has always been our life." I was pacing a little while she stayed calm.

"But what happens when Amanda and I start to have more kids? Or when you settle down with…_Elliot_? We just uproot our families every time Latnok decides to toy with our lives." This was the first chance I really had to show how I truly felt about all this.

"Kyle, we're doing the best we can. I know it's frustrating but you just have to deal with it."

"I think I'm just going to go to be," I mumbled, taking a swig of my beer. "There's no use getting all worked up over this."

Nathan was already asleep in the top bunk when I came into the room. I took off my jeans and my tan waffle shirt, and crawled under the blanket in my white t-shirt and black boxer briefs. I stared up at the bunk above mine, wedging a photo of Amanda and Brice and I between a slat and the mattress. It was one that had been taken of us at the lake: Amanda and I had rolled up our pant legs and were walking along the shore. Brice was trying to do the same but thought the water was too cold so he made me hold him. Nicole had snapped the picture while we weren't paying any attention. We were all just smiling and enjoying ourselves.

**AN: Hey everyone, hope you all enjoyed this chapter and it answered a few more questions. Just wanted to let you know that I posted a picture of what I think Nathan would look like. Check it out and let me know what you think! Can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts on the new chapter so comment away, it's always welcome!**

**Quick question though, would Nathan's last name be Balin or Trager?**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 43

Family Ties

"All I Need"- Mat Kearney

Kyle (POV)

It had been two weeks since Foss had arrived at the cabin, which meant Jessi, Nathan and I had been here for a total of three weeks. It was an unusually warm night which kept me from getting any sleep not that I had been getting much sleep anyway. I just laid on top of the blanket on the bottom bunk and stared at Nathan's bunk above me. I knew that he wasn't having any trouble sleeping because his heart rate had dropped to the point of a deep sleep. I decided fresh air may do some good. I grabbed my jogging shorts off of the wooden bench under the window and tugged them on before quietly slipping out of the room.

The green glow of the digital clock on the microwave and stove read 3:37AM. I silently unlatched the lock on the back door after lacing up my jogging shoes. I jogged along the river were the ground was relatively flat. The reflection of the moonlight danced across the river and provided just enough light to see where I was going.

Adam Baylin had been on my mind a lot lately since I had been the primary one to teach Nathan about our past. I couldn't help but feel the role reversal that had taken place in the last month. I was no longer the student eager to learn everything Adam had to offer. Now I was the teacher bringing all of Adam's plans, thoughts, dreams, values and inspirations to Nathan. Up until a few months ago I was led to believe that I was Adam's only son, and now I have a brother who would never have the pleasure of getting to know how truly inspirational Adam was.

When I had made the conscious decision to head back toward the cabin I was 15 miles out. I had already been running for two and a half hours and in that time I had clocked 45 miles. Granted Foss didn't like us to run far from the cabin so a lot was done running the same perimeter over and over again. When I reached the cabin it was nearing six o'clock in the morning and Jessi and Nathan were already out training.

"Here," Foss called, tossing a water bottle to me from the front porch of the cabin. "How long were you out there?"

"Three hours and thirty-two minutes," I called back, gulping down the water.

"Go get cleaned up—you and I have work to do," he ordered.

"What about training?" I asked, making my way up the steps.

"It sounds like you've already taken care of that," Foss smirked.

I jumped in the shower and was out in ten minutes. I made an attempt to shave but do to the dull razor I was only able to clean up the slight beard that had taken over my face. I grabbed me white t-shirt and blue jeans from my room and threw them on.

"So what work did you need help with?" I asked as I pulled the t-shirt over my head, walking into the kitchen.

"We have to make a trip into town; the food supply is getting a little low," he noted.

"So you're expecting us to be here for a while longer?" I sighed, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"We have a slight change of plans," he paused. "We're going to have to split up, having all four of us under one house is…dangerous to say the least."

"So what is the new plan?" I posed, gulping down half of my coffee.

"You and I will make our way out to the east coast, while Jessi takes Nathan further north."

"Foss, we can't do that to Nathan, he's just starting to develop a sense of normality. Besides it would be best if I stayed with him, he's my brother," I reminded him.

"Kyle, I've already taken all of that into account and what is best is to divide you and Jessi up. That way she can keep him safe while you keep your family safe." His voice was a little sterner.

By this point we both had finished our coffee and we were making our way out to his truck. We drove in silence for a moment until we had reached the path that lead to the main road into town.

"Kyle, I understand that you want to look out for your brother, but it is my job to make sure that you both are safe. I'm just doing what is best," he reminded me.

"I know that Foss, I just want him to be able to have some stability in his life," I sighed.

He chuckled slightly. "When will you realize that your life isn't normal, Kyle, so being able to have stability is rare, if at all possible."

"I know…" I mumbled.

"The plan is that you and I will fly to New York. Jessi will take Nathan a little further north then head into Alaska and wait out there until I give her the 'all clear' to start making her way back to Seattle. By that point I hope that you and I will have already started heading back west," he explained. "I'm hoping that once in New York it will be safe for you to see Amanda."

"Seriously?" I questioned as he pulled into the parking lot of the store.

"Only if it's safe, it won't be for long either, maybe a day if that," he harked back.

I smiled slightly, putting on the faded blue baseball cap and climbed out of the truck. He was wearing another baseball cap only his was black. There were times when I felt Foss might be a little too cautious. But like he said he was just 'doing his job'.

We stocked up on a rather large supply of everything that we felt Jessi and Nathan would need. Once we had collected the groceries we found our way to the check out. The thing about small towns was people liked to make conversation with everyone they encountered.

"Hello, and how are you boys today?" It was a lady in her mid forties working at the checkout. Her name tag said Helen.

"We're good, thank you," Foss mumbled as he waited for a total so he could pay.

"You must be new; I don't think I've seen you boys around town. Where are you from?"

"Sacramento." He was trying his best to keep the conversation short.

"California? Well what are two boys from California doing all the way out here?" she continued to pester no matter Foss's standoff attitude.

"Just doing some fishing, ma'am," he replied, getting the right amount of cash from his wallet.

"With this much food, there must be enough food here to last you a month." We were just being careful, but she was right about that.

"We eat a lot," Foss played it off. "Have a good day."

I wheeled the cart-full of bags out to the truck and we began loading them into the bed of the truck. I could tell Foss was relieved to get out of there; he wasn't the most social person. Once everything was loaded up we headed back to the cabin.

"I just don't understand why people feel the need to ask so many questions. They just need to mind their own damn business," he complained as he climbed out of the truck and began to carry in bags.

"She was just trying to be nice," I reasoned, following behind him with arms full of bags.

Jessi and Nathan were just finishing up with their training so they took their share of bags in as well. Once everything was unloaded and everyone had eaten and showered Foss gathered us in the den where all of our stuff had been set up.

"I've been talking to Christopher and he's been able to make contact with a few of the board members. Most of them are staying low, spreading out across Washington. He and I both feel that we need to divide up for a little while," he explained until Jessi cut him off.

"How long is a little while, Foss? We've already been hiding out here for almost three weeks now." She let some of her annoyance slip through.

"One or two weeks, depending on how long it takes us," he answered, sitting back in his chair.

"What do you mean, 'how long it takes us'? Takes you to do what?" Jessi was quick to ask.

"You'll take Nathan further north, while Kyle and I throw Latnok off by flying out east," he said simply.

"Won't they be watching to see if you book tickets under your names?" Nathan questioned and I smiled slightly already knowing Foss had taken care of that.

"That's why I made these," he grinned, holding up the two passports he'd had made for us years ago with false identities. According to those I was Emmett Riley and he was Robert Mayer.

"Emmett Riley?" Jessi joked looking and my fake passport.

"Foss came up with our names…" I mumbled.

"Actually, I didn't. The lady I had make these did," Foss was quick to correct.

"When does our flight leave?" I asked, stealing my passport from Jessi.

"Early tomorrow morning, so we have to get this place cleaned up then make the drive to Vancouver."

Jessi and Foss began with the den while Nathan and I went to gather our things in our room.

"That's your family," he noticed when I snagged the photo I had wedged above my bed.

"Yeah," I smiled looking down at the photo in my hand. "That's my son, Brice; he would be your nephew. And that's my wife, Amanda, your sister-in-law."

"How old is he?" he questioned, folding one of his shirts and placing it into his bag.

"He is almost five actually; he'll be five in two weeks." Part of me wondered if I would be able to celebrate his birthday with him.

"So you were 18 when he was born," he clarified. "I thought it wasn't common to have children and start a family until you were 24-28 years of age, at least most Americans."

"Well Brice is adopted, but I did adopt him when I was 18. He didn't have the best of a family before I took him in." I tried my best to keep it really simple.

"Where is your family now?" he asked, tossing a few pairs of socks into his bag.

"Right now, they're in New York. Amanda has some work to do there," I explained, folding a sweater. "You'll meet them when we're all back home."

"Home?"

"Yeah, in Seattle, that is where we live. And now that's where you'll live too," I reminded him, zipping up my bag.

By the time we had everything packed and ready the sun was only an hour away from setting. I sat out on the back porch and enjoyed the brief silence. Foss was attempting to cook a frozen pizza in the oven, so we could eat before we all were off. I rested one arm on the back of the bench and ran my other hand threw my hair.

"I could get used to this," Jessi commented, moving her way over to sit next to me. "I could also get used that beard too," she teased.

"We ran out of razors and I didn't think you would want me to use yours," I chuckled, softly.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, it was nice to be able to have a somewhat playful conversation and not have it mean anything.

"So how is Elliot?" I asked, knowing she had just been on the phone with him.

"He's fine." She was short.

"Jessi, this guy…Do you…Love him?" I finally asked.

"He's good for me, he's helped me heal, and he's helped me figure out who I am," she rambled a little.

"But do you love him?" I asked again, noticing that she was avoiding the question.

"Dinner!" Foss called, giving Jessi the perfect escape.

Amanda (POV)

It had been close to four weeks sense we left Seattle. Lori and I had been meeting with, up and coming artists so we could create a client base. Today had been another crazy day of meeting with artists and lawyers but things were really starting to come together. I had one group left to meet with before I could go home, well not really home so much as Declan's dad's pent house we were staying at for the time being.

"Amanda! There's the woman of my dreams!" the band _Resonance Void's_ lead singer, Joseph, called as he and two other men found their way to the table I was seated at in the restaurant.

"How are you doing Joseph?" I asked politely, standing to give them each a hug.

"I'll be fantastic once I can get a drink and we can get this deal squared away," he joked, plopping down at the table. "Where's your lovely business partner?"

"She had an appointment," I said, simply. "Why don't we get started?"

"As you wish." The thing about Joe was he was a big flirt.

"Lori and I were thinking that we test the water with your song 'Finding Her'. We would release it as a single then see how people react then go from there," I suggested, taking a sip of my water.

"And what if the reaction isn't what we expected?" the guitarist, Liam, spoke up.

"Well then we can do a few things, we can try another song just to try and get your name out there or we can continue on with the album," I explained their options.

"So how would we go about this?" It was Liam again who asked.

"Well we were hoping that you guys would be able to come in on Monday to record and if all goes well then by the end of next week we hope to have it playing on a few radio stations."

"That fast?" Joseph chimed in.

"Our company wants to move fast to not only get our clients known, but us as well," I smiled.

"Alternative motives, you tricky girl you," Joseph joked, with a chuckle.

"So we'll see you in the studio Monday morning?" I asked, making sure it was okay.

"Sounds fantastic, we will see you there darling."

Seeing as the meeting was over I took that opportunity to leave before they were begging me to stay longer to drink with them. I hailed a cab and had the driver take me back to the pent house.

"Hello, Ms. Amanda!" George, the door man to the building greeted me holding one of the glass doors open for me.

"Thank you, George," I smiled.

I rode the elevator up to the top floor and strolled to the right apartment door. I found Declan and Brice wrestling around on the floor in the living room.

"I win!" Brice cheered, jumping onto Declan's back.

"Oh really?" Declan challenged, pulling him off his back and tickling him.

Brice was laughing and carrying on, I was glad Declan was here to keep his mind off of Kyle's absence.

"Mom!" Brice cheered, and Declan released him and he came flying at me.

"Hey sweetie, did you have fun with Uncle Declan today?" I scooped him up.

"Uh huh, we got ice cream after we played basketball at the park," he told me.

"Really? You didn't get me any?" I joked.

"It would have melted before you got home, silly," he retorted.

"That's true," I said, kissing his nose. "Have you had a bath yet?"

"No…But I don't need one," he complained.

"Well I think you do, stinky boy." I teased. "Come on."

"I can give him a bath, if you want," Declan offered.

"No, that's alright, thank you though," I smiled, carrying Brice off to the bathroom that was in between his room and mine.

I ran the bath water and he got undressed and climbed into the tub.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Bri?" I responded grabbing a towel from the closet for him.

"Did you know that Aunt Lori has a baby in her tummy?" he asked, rubbing the shampoo through his hair.

"Yes, I did. Why?" I was a little leery as to where this conversation was heading.

"Well how is the baby going to get out of there? How did the baby get in there? Did Aunt Lori eat a baby?" He got a little carried away.

"No, sweetie, Aunt Lori did not eat a baby." I could definitely see where this conversation was going and I wasn't one hundred percent sure if or how I should answer his questions.

"Well than where did the baby come from? I asked Uncle Declan but he said to ask you."

I sighed, part of me wished Kyle were here to answer this and the other part of me wished that Declan had just taken care of it.

"Usually when a Mommy and Daddy really love each other…" I couldn't believe I was going with the when two people love each other speech. "And when they are old enough, they decided to have a baby. That baby will spend a very long time growing in a mommy's tummy until the baby is ready to come out."

"But how does the baby get out?" he asked as I helped him out of the tub and wrapped a towel around him.

"Well there are special baby doctors that help babies to get out of their mommy's tummies," I tried to keep it as simple as possible.

"But how do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" he continued to question as I helped him with his pajamas.

"The baby doctor can use a special scanner to see the baby while it's still in the mommy's tummy and they can get a picture that will tell them if it's a boy or a girl," I explained as we walked to his room.

"Is Aunt Lori having a boy or a girl?" He asked, hopping up into bed.

"I don't know, sweetie, I don't know if the doctor has told her yet." Lori was about five months along so the appointment she had today would have been the one that they told her at.

"Oh, can boys have babies?" he asked as I tucked the blanket around him.

"No, boys can't have babies," I smiled.

"Why not?"

"Well, because boys don't have the right kind of tummy to hold a baby," I explained. "Does that answer all your questions?"

He nodded and I was relieved.

"Alright, goodnight, Bri, I love you!"

"Love you too," he mumbled and I kissed his forehead before leaving the room.

"You couldn't have given me any warning could you?" I glared at Declan as I sat down in the arm chair in the living room.

"I thought it would be more fun as a surprise," he grinned.

"Oh you just wait until you have to explain the same thing to your kids," I smirked, and his face became very serious.

"Crap…"

"So where is Lori, anyway?" I asked, noticing her lack of presence.

"Her back was hurting so she went to lay down," he said sitting up from the couch.

"So are you guys having a boy or a girl?"

"Two girls," he smiled softly.

"Twins! That's great!" I congratulated.

"I'm going to be a father of two little girls." He seemed a little shocked.

"You'll be a great dad," I reassured. "You're already wonderful with Brice."

"Brice is easy, he's a boy," he chuckled gently.

"Well you'll do just fine. I had no idea what kind of mother I would be, but Brice seems to be turning out just fine. You learn as you go."

"Thank you, Amanda." He stood up. "I think I'm going to go to bed though, that kid wears me out more that I do him."

"Goodnight Declan," I laughed slightly as he disappeared down the hall to his and Lori's room.

I went back to my room and changed into something a little more comfortable. I grabbed Kyle's old Dartmouth sweat shirt from the closet and a pair of girl's boxer shorts from the drawer. I hadn't eaten yet so I settled for a bowl of fruit and a cup of tea.

I was waiting for the water to boil and I began to think about Kyle. I couldn't help but worry about his safety, I had no idea where he was and I barely had a way to contact him. It had been almost a week since he last called; I carried that untraceable phone with me everywhere waiting for a call. It was hard to imagine that he had a blood related brother; I could only wonder what he looked like.

The tea kettle whistle blew and pulled me from my thoughts. I poured the hot water into a mug and stirred the tea a little. I turned grabbing the mug and bowl of fruit about to head back to the living room when I stopped.

There he stood, Kyle, my husband. I had to set the mug and bowl down for fear that I would drop it.

"You're here!" I had to remember to whisper so I wouldn't wake the others.

"I'm here," he smiled and that when I practically leaped toward him wrapping my arms around him and holding on as tight as I could.

**AN: Hey everyone! Sorry I have really been lacking in my updates… I've been really busy this summer, I just got back from vacationing in Europe about a week ago and haven't really had much time. Anyway here is the new chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it, please comment and let me know what you think! I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I did post a picture of what I think Nathan would look like on my profile, let me know what you think!**


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 44

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

"In My Place"- Coldplay

Kyle (POV)

I slid the visor up on the window to pear out of the plane and at the New York sky line. It was the first time I had seen it all lit up like that at night. Foss was sitting four rows in front of me and we made sure not to acknowledge one another once we arrive at the airport in Vancouver. When the plane landed and the buckle seatbelt sign went off I stood up grabbing my bag from the overhead compartment. Foss and I had only packed carry on, since we weren't planning on staying long.

Since we were coming from Canada we had to clear customs once we were off the plane. As I stood in line waiting to show my pass port and be cleared through, I took note that Foss was two lines over and three people behind me.

"Next!" the middle aged man called me up to his booth.

"Mr. Riley, what business did you have in Vancouver?" he asked, not even bothering to look at me.

"Medical conference," I answered simply.

"What brings you to New York?" he asked, scanning over my passport.

"Visiting family," I answered, again keeping it short.

"How long will you be staying in New York?"

That I wasn't sure about so I lied saying till the following Monday, given it was Friday night.

"Have a nice stay," he mumbled, handing me back my passport and waving me through.

Foss had given me instructions to catch a cab from the airport to a hotel in the city then to check in under _Emmett Riley. _Then to wander the city for an hour before heading to the pent house that Amanda was staying in.

After following his instructions it was nearing eleven o'clock in the evening. I found my way to the building that Amanda was staying at. Luckily I was able to talk to Declan before I'd left to let him know I was going to surprise Amanda so I didn't have any trouble being aloud up to the pent house.

Before the elevator doors even had time to open I could hear her heart beat steadily. Declan had also made sure to leave a key for me at the front desk. I quietly unlocked the door and set my bag down on the floor, once I was inside and found my way to the kitchen where I could hear Amanda softly rummaging around.

I leaned against the doorway just waiting for her to notice my presence.

"You're here!" She jumped.

"I'm here," I mumbled, holding my arms out for an embrace that she leaped at.

Before she or I had a chance to say another word, our physical needs got the best of us and her lips were on mine.

"I'm so glad you're here," she moaned through kisses.

"Me too," I huffed back, lifting her up onto the counter top.

Her hands knotted through my hair, as her legs locked tightly around my hips. There was a sense of urgency between us. The need between us was evident and I knew where things were going, so I hoisted her to me and stumbled into the bed room. She quietly giggled, as I plopped her down on the bed and climbed on top of her, my hands roaming across her body. I had already managed to get her sweat shirt off before we had even reached the bedroom.

"I missed you _so_ much," I grunted as she undid my belt buckle and tore my jeans off.

"You have no idea," she sighed as my lips traveled down her neck.

Afterward she lie naked in my arms, the feeling was so familiar and had been greatly missed. I listened to her even breathing and steady heart beat. I had missed this, just being able to hold her in my arms. It calmed me to know that she was safe, that I could keep her safe. I kissed her forehead gently and she sighed clinging closer to me.

"How long are you here for?" she whispered, tracing small circles onto my chest with her fingers.

"Not very long, probably till tomorrow night…" I really didn't want to leave her.

"That fast…" I could hear the disappointment in her voice; I didn't need to see her face.

"I'm sorry," I sighed kissing the top of her head. "I wish I had more time with you. Foss wants us to start heading back to Seattle."

"If you're going back to Seattle, does that mean it's safe again?" she asked, turning her head slightly to gaze up at me.

"That's what we're going to find out. Foss wants me to get back into a normal routine again. He has been in contact with Christopher who seems to think it's settled down. But the Latnok members know that Jessi and I took all the information on anything that Latnok was ever studying."

"Why did you guys take it?" she mumbled slightly.

"Adam had once told me that Latnok was a group of visionaries. He truly believed that they were all about the greater good. In some sense they still are but their idea of what the greater good really is, has been clouded. I took the information, because part of me wants to believe that with all the studies they were working on, some of them had to be useful." I explained.

"Always looking for the good in people." There was a hint of playfulness in her voice.

"Something like that," I smiled.

"When do you think Brice and I will be able to come home?"

"How much work do you have left here?" I asked.

"We just have to get a few bands recorded, anything after that can be done from Seattle. Lori and Declan both want to fly back before Lori is too pregnant to fly. They want to start getting ready for the babies."

"Babies?" I questioned.

"They found out today that they're having twins, two girls," she informed me.

"Wow, how's Declan taking it? I know he was nervous about having just _one_ baby."

"I don't know if he's been able to wrap his mind around the idea yet, but he'll be fine," she assured me.

"Brice's birthday is in two weeks, things should be okay by then. Why don't we plan on you guys coming home then?" I suggested, changing the subject back to our original conversation.

"You mean that?"

"Yeah, but let's not tell Brice about it. I don't want to get his hopes up, just in case. We can surprise him."

"He'd love that," she said, leaning up and kissing my cheek. "You know, today I had to explain where babies come from, to him."

"You what?" He was only four—well practically five, but still.

"Yeah, he was wondering how a baby was growing inside of Lori. It was kind of cute, he was really worried that Lori had eaten a baby and that was how it was growing in her stomach."

"So, what did you end up telling him?" I chuckled slightly.

"I went with the 'when two people love each other' story," she sighed.

"Did it work?" I asked.

"It seemed to, for now, I kept it simple. He wanted to know how the baby would get out and I explained that a doctor would help the baby out. I was a little shocked that he was already wondering about where babies come from but it makes sense with Lori being pregnant and all. He actually had asked Declan first earlier in the day, while I was at work," she explained to me.

"And Declan told him to ask you?" I guessed.

"Yeah, he did, but that was fine." She slightly yawned; I could tell she was getting tired.

I let the conversation die out until she was too tired to talk and gave into sleep. I stared up at the ceiling above us, and listened to the cars on the street below us. I didn't know if it was the moon light or the light pollution the city provided that was pouring in through the glass door to the balcony. Part of me wondered if I would be able to get any sleep, ever since what had happened at Latnok, I hadn't been sleeping much. I would only get a couple of hours, if that, at night. This didn't go uninterrupted and was anything but restful.

I focused my attention on Amanda's heart beating softly and breathed into that letting my own heart rate fall in the hopes of sleep. I let a sense of calm wash over me as I relaxed every muscle in my body. They were tighter than I had expected. Eventually I was able to sleep.

I woke up before Amanda did that morning; I gently squeezed my arm around her before slipping my arm out from around her. I silently rummaged for my clothes that had been scattered across the floor during last night's festivities. The only thing I didn't manage to find was my t-shirt that I had been wearing, and my bag with a change of clothes was still sitting in the hallway.

Lori and Declan seemed to still be in their room, just beginning to wake up themselves. Given the hour, Brice wasn't any were close to waking up. I decided to chance heading out into the hall shirtless to retrieve a clean one. I fumbled through my bag, and of course the t-shirts I had packed were at the bottom.

"Kyle!" Lori caught me crouched down in front of my bag, shirtless. "What are you doing here?"

"Surprise?" I shrugged, standing up slightly, holding a dark grey t-shirt in my hands.

"When did you get here? Why aren't you wearing a shirt? How long-." But then she stopped herself putting things together, and becoming bright red.

"I just got in last night, Declan was the only one who knew and from the looks of it he didn't tell you," I clarified, completely avoiding her realization.

"Oh!" she said. "I'm so glad you're here, I'm so glad you're okay," she said, giving me a hug.

"I'm happy to see you too, Lori. I hear you're having twins?" I smiled.

"Two girls!" she beamed, holding one hand on each side of her stomach.

"Congratulations." I grinned, and she turned to head into the kitchen.

"I was on my way to eat breakfast, but you sir are more that welcome to join me," she said over her shoulder.

I slipped my t-shirt of and followed behind her.

"Declan's still asleep?" I guessed, pouring myself a cup of coffee and a cup of tea for Lori.

"Yeah, I think Brice had been wearing him out," she joked, taking the mug from me as I joined her at the table.

"How has Brice been?" I asked, not really sure of the answer.

"You mean since you left?" she asked, sipping her tea and I nodded. "At first he was really sad that you didn't come with us. He kept asking Amanda why, and she just told him you had to work. But after a while, he kind of accepted that you had to work and that's why you weren't with him. He seemed okay with that once he understood."

"That's good, I just… I feel bad. First it was Amanda who was absent, and she had every reason to, don't get me wrong. I just sometimes I wonder what he is thinking about all of this, I know he hates it when Amanda or I aren't home," I explained, looking down into my coffee cup as I spoke.

"Kyle, you're doing the best you can. As he gets older, and you're able to explain to him more about your life, he'll understand more. And it's not like he's alone, he's been with Amanda and he has Declan and I. He's okay, don't worry," she said, reaching across the table to take my hand.

"Thanks, Lori." It was nice to be able to have a one on one conversation with Lori. It didn't happen too often. "How has everything been going with the babies?"

"Things have been great. The morning sickness, which actually lasts _all _day, has stopped now. The doctor says both babies are healthy and growing well," she rambled on slightly.

"Have you told mom and dad you're having twins?" I asked.

"No not yet, I was hoping to be able to tell them in person," she hinted. "Oh!"

"What? What's wrong?" I jumped, sitting forward slightly.

"Nothing, nothing. They're just kicking again; I'm still not quiet used to it." She smiled, rubbing small circles across her stomach. "Want to feel?"

Before I could say anything she had reached out and taken my hand and placed it on her stomach. It took a moment, but then I felt it, a slight kick. It was the first time I had ever felt something like that it was a strange feeling.

"That's so…" I was at a loss for words.

"Extraordinary?" she provided.

"I see the babies are kicking again," Declan took note, entering the kitchen and leaning over to kiss Lori.

"It's good to see you man," he said as he found his way over to me to give me a hug.

"You too, and congratulations."

"Thanks," he mumbled, getting himself some coffee.

Lori and Declan started into a conversation about the day ahead of them and what their plans were. I listened for Amanda and could hear the she was just starting to wake up. After a few minutes she had wondered into the kitchen to join us.

"Good morning," I beamed, stopping her as she passed for a kiss.

"Morning." She shared the same dopey grin that I must have had.

"We're right here," Declan coughed.

"Sorry…" Amanda blushed, somewhat taking the empty seat beside me.

"They just missed each other, Declan, I'm sure if you and I didn't see each other for almost four weeks we would act the same way," Lori pointed out, opening the yogurt she had gotten from the fridge.

The small talk and catching up continued. Lori and Amanda told me about how things were going with their record label. From what they had said it sounded like they had built quite the client base. Declan and I started to talk about which hospitals he had applied to do his internship with. Once he was down with the fall semester, he would start his internship in the spring.

I noticed that it was nearing nine o'clock and Brice still hadn't woken up yet.

"I think I'm going to go wake up Brice," I smirked, getting up from my seat and heading down the hall to his room.

I crept softly across the room to the edge of the big bed. I assumed that Brice was somewhere under the mound of blankets and pillows in the center of the queen sized bed. I shook the lump gently and it soon began to move. It took a minute but eventually, Brice's head did poke out from under the blankets.

"Mmmmm," he grumbled, not really paying attention to who was waking him up.

"It's time to get up buddy," I whispered.

"Dad!" It was as if all the morning groggy-ness had drained from him. "You're here."

He jumped up, wrapping his tiny arms around my neck. It wasn't until that moment that I realized how much I had truly missed him.

"I missed you, Dad!" He mumbled into my shoulder.

"I missed you too, Buddy." I felt Amanda's presence behind me, lingering in the doorway.

"Mom! Dad's here!" He cheered, and she joined us on the bed. "When did you get here?"

"While you were sleeping," I smiled.

"Can I get a dog?" he asked out of nowhere.

"A dog?" I questioned, sharing a glance with Amanda.

"Yeah, mom said she would think about it, but that we really didn't have room for one." He was practically bouncing in his seat.

"She did?" I cocked an eyebrow and she shrugged innocently.

"Yeah, so can I get one?" He gave me a puppy dog look.

"I don't know buddy, you're mom's right we really don't have the room for one…" I trailed off, if we didn't have room for a dog, how would we have room for Nathan?

"Pleeeeeease?" he begged.

"How about this: your dad and I will talk about it," Amanda interjected.

"Okay!" he cheered, hopping off of the bed and running into the kitchen.

"Hey, Uncle Declan! Guess what?" We could hear him call.

"What, Bri?"

"I'm getting a dog!" Amanda groaned when we heard that.

I chuckled and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"What are we going to do with that boy?" she sighed.

"I have no idea," I laughed and she joined in.

This was something I had missed dearly, just being able to observe the daily occurrences of my family. I loved being able to tuck Brice in at night, or wake him in the morning. I cherished the rainy days we spent indoors, Amanda and I lounging on the couch while we watched Brice play with his toys on the living room floor. Or the nights we took him to the park before bed, to wear off energy. Being away from my family just left me longing to be with them even more. It made me notice how much they truly mean to me and just how much Latnok would be able to exploit them in order to get to me.

**AN: Hello everyone! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, there wasn't much to it but it was a nice fluff chapter. I've actually been thinking a lot about where I would like to see this story go and I have hundreds of ideas. My only problem is I don't want to run this story into the ground by dragging it out too long. So I guess my question for all readers is, has this story become too long and drawn out? Or would you like me to continue going in the direction that I'm heading? Or do you have some idea's as to what you would like to see? Let me know what you all think, input is greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading! **


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 45

One of the Family

""-

Kyle (POV)

I silently closed the bedroom door behind me and crept away from the door and down the hall. I paused for a moment, seeing Amanda out on the balcony, two glasses of wine on the table beside her. She was beautiful. I couldn't see myself with any other person, and that is what made leaving that much harder. Ever since I made the decision to adopt Brice as my son and let myself love Amanda again, I've worried about the danger I've exposed both of them to.

I stepped out onto the balcony and wrapped my arms around her waist, the back of her head leaned into my chest and she sighed.

"He finally fell asleep?" she said.

"Yeah," I whispered softly.

We stayed quiet for a moment, just enjoying the view of the New York sky line. Moments like these are what I missed, holding her in my arms, the comfortable silence, enjoying one another's presence. She had placed her hand over mine, her delicate fingers played with my wedding band.

"I missed you," I finally spoke. "I missed this."

"I did too," she said. "Are things going to start getting back to…Normal?"

"I hope so, Amanda. I'm sorry that these past…_six _months, have been so crazy. I just, with everything Latnok have done, and everything they were planning to do, it needed to stop." I moved to sit on the bench.

"What exactly where they planning on doing?" she asked, sitting beside me.

"When Jessi and I went in to break, Nathan, out. We found that they had plans for cloning Nathan, for an army." I didn't have to see her face to know the expression she had.

"An army?" she was finally able to form the words.

"I don't know what for, but it makes sense. They wanted to do the same thing with my DNA but after I destroyed the formula, years ago, I guess they didn't want to take the chance of creating disobedient soldiers."

"But how do you know that they won't try again?" she questioned.

"I don't." That was the truth. "But, once we were able to get Nathan out safely, I went back in. Latnok's plan for creating an army was just one of the many programs they were working on, some of it was…noble. I was able to copy all the information that had ever been recorded there, just like I had done at Zzyzx, but they will never know I did it. Because after I did that and was out safely, Foss took over."

She placed her hand on my shoulder, and I took a rather large sip of my wine.

"Kyle," I knew that she knew what happened and I also knew it didn't need to be said.

"I know… we did what we had to do," I muttered. "One of the things I was able to record was a list of board members, along with that was a list of members that the board collectively found untrustworthy."

"This list would be of people you _can_ trust?" She caught on, and I nodded. "What does that mean for you?"

"It means that I have the upper hand," I said.

I couldn't help but think of a conversation I had with Nicole, many years ago. She was the first one to realize how much I had changed just by being associated with Latnok. _'It's just not you, it's not who you used to be…'_ Were her exact words.

"I just hope that now my connection with Latnok is over, and I can finally start to move on with my life." I sighed, not really wanting to talk about it any longer.

"Me too," she agreed.

"What are Lori and Declan up to?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Lori went to take a bath, and Declan is doing some work," she provided. "When do you have to be at the airport?"

"I should probably leave in the next hour," I sighed. "My flight leaves at 11."

"That soon?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, kissing her temple.

"Once you're back in Seattle, what then?" she questioned.

"I'm hoping to get back to some sort of constant. I have a meeting with the Chef of surgery on Monday so I can start back with the program, continue my internship. I have to work with Nathan, to help him get adjusted and sorted out. Then just wait for you and Brice to get home," I enlightened with a trivial smile.

"Nathan is going to be staying with us, right?" I was kind of glad that she brought the subject up.

"I was planning on that, I don't really know where he'll sleep but we can figure that out later. Who knows, maybe we'll have to buy a new house," I smirked.

"A new house?" She raised an eye brow at me.

"I've thought about it once or twice," I admitted. "It probably wouldn't be a bad idea."

"No, it wouldn't. But, can we afford that right now?"

"I'll look into it, when I get back," I said, sitting back and wrapping my arm around her shoulders. "But for now, let's just enjoy this."

She smiled slightly and rested her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her hair and rested my chin on her head.

**MONDAY MORNING**

It felt wonderful to be back in Seattle, it was like things were finally falling back into place. I had woken up at seven that morning so I would have had time to get ready for my meeting with the Chef of Surgery. After I got out of the shower I wrapped a fluffy blue towel around my waist. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my skin showed the exposure to the sun I had gotten from all the training outside we did at the cabin. I opened the cabinet to the left of the mirror and snatched my razor from the third shelf. With Brice, Amanda and I had made a habit of leaving our razors out of his reach.

I had to trim down the growth of hair that had taken over my face, before I was able to actually shave it off. Once I had managed to clear it all, I ran my hand across my cheek and felt the smoothness of my skin. I put on some after shave and brushed my teeth and left the bathroom to get dressed. I decided that it would be best to dress well, considering I was meeting with the Chef. I grabbed my kakis, white dress shirt, light grey sweeter and a blue and white striped tie. Once I was clothed and slipped my watch on, I fixed my hair and left the apartment.

I had a sense of familiarity as I drove to the hospital, it had been a few weeks since I had last made this drive and nothing about it had changed. I entered the hospital and had the same feeling, sure the patients had changed, but the cases and the people that worked on them were still the same. I found my way to the third floor and the Chef's secretary, Cindy, let me right into his office. I sat in one of the two leather chairs that faced his desk and waited for the Chef.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Dr. Trager, I was caught up in a board meeting." Chef Stone was an older man, tall, early fifties; his dark brown hair had flecks of grey.

"It's not a problem, sir, I understand." I stood to shake his hand.

"Now, what can I do for you?" he asked, sitting down behind his desk.

"I wanted to talk to you about letting me back into the program," I proposed the idea, sitting forward slightly.

"Done," he simply said.

"What?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Kyle, your absence was a shock at best but my hospital can't afford to lose doctors like you," he explained making a few notes on a piece of paper. "I'll get all the right paper work taken care of and you can start here again on Thursday."

"Thank you, Chef Stone," I stood up again to shake his hand in gratitude.

"You'll have to work slightly harder to catch up, but I really don't think that will be a problem for you," he added.

"I'll do whatever it takes," I smiled. "I'll see you Thursday morning."

The meeting was shorter than I had expected so when I left the hospital I decided to take a trip out to the land Adam had left me. It was a pretty cloudy day but the sun still poked out from time to time. I walked across the land, just taking it all in.

My thoughts were on Nathan and how he would adjust to the family, I knew that the Tragers wouldn't have any problems with him, but he might be a little over whelmed. Once he was here I would have to take him to the high school to enroll him for the new school year. Hopefully Nicole would make the trip with us: she was really good at dealing with principle Hooper.

I peered over the land and tried to imagine the house that Adam had planned to build here. I tried to imagine myself living in this house, but I couldn't bring myself to imagine a life with Adam that was more difficult because of his death. Instead I thought of Nathan and me living here, along with Amanda and Brice. That's when I knew I didn't want to buy a house; I wanted to build a house. Here on this land, and I wanted to build it like Adam would have wanted. I knew I would have to change the layout slightly in order to accommodate for the family that Amanda and I would soon have.

I left the land and went back to the apartment to begin drawing up plans for a new house. I had the original blue prints spread out in front of me and a separate, rather large piece of paper to make new additions.

After a few hours, a house that I could see myself raising a family in began to form. The first floor was relatively the same as the one Adam had planned. I had added a few more rooms off of the hallway from the kitchen. I had also created a new hallway entirely, to the right of the front door, from that hallway there would be an office for myself, a bedroom for Nathan, along with an additional bathroom for him as well.

The upstairs still had a loft that over looked the first floor, mainly the family room, dining area and part of the kitchen. The master bedroom was still the same with a personal bathroom along with the two bedrooms that where connected by a bathroom. The only addition I made there was another bedroom with its own bathroom. The floor plan was really starting to come together, and it was forming into a home that I could see myself living in.

It was nearing two o'clock in the afternoon when I remembered I was supposed to meet Foss at the warehouse before I went to have dinner with Stephen and Nicole. I rolled up the plans I had created along with Adam's old ones and slid them into the tube that protected them. I decided to take the plans with me, to show to Foss.

When I drove to the warehouse I noticed that the clouds had cleared up a little and the sun was more visible. The tires of the car crunched as I proceeded along the gravel that led to the warehouse. I climbed out of the Jeep and snatched the plans from the passenger seat.

"Foss!" I called as I continued through the heavy metal door.

"Back here!" he called back.

"I just talked to Jessi, and they've made it passed the border into the U.S.," he informed me, peering up from the computer. "What do have there?"

"You know that land Adam left me?" He nodded. "I figured out what I want to do with it."

"And what's that?"

"Well, the apartment is becoming too small. Eventually, Amanda and I will start having more kids, and with Nathan moving in with us, a two bedroom apartment just isn't going to work," I explained as a smile began to form on my lips.

"You want to build a house," he concluded.

"Yeah," I grinned, showing him my plans.

"These look great, Kyle. What does Amanda think about all this?" he asked, glancing over the prints.

"I just started putting this together today; Amanda and I have barely even talked about a new house. I doubt I could even afford this right now," I said with a heavy a sigh.

He was quiet for a moment looking over all the plans and he turned to me.

"What if I told you that you could?" he proposed.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Before Adam died, he put me in charge of all of his finances. He wanted me to look after them when he died. There is an account in your name, that he wanted me to give to you when I felt you were ready. I've just been waiting for the right time, I was going to give it to you after your wedding but things got a little crazy," he trailed off.

"He left me money?" I confirmed.

"Yeah, enough to last you a life time. You could build this house, send your kids to college, pay off your own student loans, and retire comfortably."

"That sounds like a lot of money; he's already given me so much, Foss." I felt slightly guilty.

"Adam wanted you to have this money. It's written in his will. He wanted to know that after he died, you would be taken care of." He paused, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Kyle, I can see how excited you are about this house, he would want you to have this."

"What about Nathan?" I pointed out.

"That's up to you," he countered.

"Nathan is Adam's son too, even though Adam didn't know about him, Nathan should get half," I explained. It was only fair.

"That's fine; you'll still have more than enough money. But if you're planning on giving Nathan half I hope that you'll wait until you feel he is old enough to handle that kind of responsibility."

"The way you did with me," I concluded, resting my knuckles on the table. "You said I would have more than enough money, how much did he leave me exactly?"

Foss chuckled. "The last time I checked, it was around 16.3 million, it may have accumulated some interest since then," He smirked.

"16.3 million. _16.3 million_?" my jaw dropped. "Where did he get that kind of money? Foss you have to take a share."

"Adam has already taken care of me," he confirmed. "When Adam was younger he had inherited a lot from his grandfather, who was one of the founders of Latnok."

"Why didn't that money go to Christopher?" I asked.

"It was his grandfather on his mother's side…" he trailed off.

"He used his own daughter in the experiment?" I already knew the answer, but Foss nodded anyway.

"Adam felt that was why his grandfather left him _so _much money. He felt bad about what he had gotten his daughter into," he scuffed.

"Wow…" was all I could say. There was so much I didn't know about Adam's family, in some sense my family as well.

Before I left the warehouse, Foss gave me a number to a contractor that he knew very well. Apparently Foss had worked with this guy on one of the many hide outs he had built for Adam. He also said that if I didn't call he would and that he would head to the bank in the morning and make all the arrangements for me to take over the account.

I pulled up in front of the Trager home and saw Josh's car parked outside. I climbed out of the car and proceeded into the house.

"Hello?" I called.

"Kyle!" Nicole made her way to the hall to greet me. "You're home. It's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too, mom." By then Stephen, Josh and Andy had also gathered in the hall.

"Good to have you back, bro." Josh greeted with a hug. "Lookin' snazzy, by the way," he laughed.

"I had a meeting with the Chef this morning," I explained as I hugged everyone else.

We migrated into the kitchen and I caught them up on _everything_. Nicole wanted to make it clear that Nathan was to feel as welcome as anyone else in the family, just like they had done with myself and Jessi.

"So…when are Jessi and Nathan coming home?" Nicole was first to ask.

"They should be here tonight," I provided.

"They're welcome to stay here, if they want to," Stephen offered. "I don't think you have enough room at your apartment."

I smiled and continued to explain to them what I had just found out from Foss.

"Half of the money would go to Nathan, of course. But I want to give some of the money to you guys as well," I explained.

"Kyle, we can't let you do that," Stephen was first to oppose.

"Of course we can _dad_," Josh jumped in, and Andy slapped him on the arm.

"My share of the money is roughly 8.15 million dollars. Mom and dad, I want you to have a million, Josh and Andy you would get a million and so would Lori and Declan."

"Kyle-" Nicole started.

"I want to take care of you guys," I interrupted.

"Kyle, this is your money, I want you to be absolutely sure about this." Stephen looked me directly in the eye.

"I'd feel bad if I didn't," I said simply.

"Why would you feel bad?" Andy chimed in.

"He's Kyle," Josh grinned.

Everyone had resided in the living room after dinner, and Josh had been probing me about all the experiments Latnok had conducted. Prior to Josh asking yet another question, there was a soft nervous nock at the door. Before Nicole even had a chance to get up to answer the door I knew it was Jessi and Nathan.

"Hi," Nathan greeted nervously once inside.

"I'm Nicole," she introduced with a welcoming hug that took Nathan by surprise.

"Stephen," he too welcomed him with a hug.

"I'm Josh," he paused. "Since you're Kyle's brother, I guess that makes you my brother too?"

"I…I don't…Know what to say," he admitted, looking to me for help.

"Nathan, this is my family, well part at least. But you are my family as well, so by relation they're your family and you're part of their family as well. If you are comfortable with that?" I explained knowing that the Trager's had wanted to make him feel as welcome as I was, to make him feel a part of the family.

"We're a pretty crazy bunch, but we would love it if you would consider yourself a part of the family," Nicole added.

"I…I would…love that…" He smiled in gratitude and I could see tears pooling in his eyes. "Thank you!"

Nicole just pulled him into one of her motherly hugs and just like that he was one of the family.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 46

Grounded

"My Never"- Blue October

Kyle (POV)

It had only been a week since Amanda, Brice, Lori and Declan came home from New York and Brice was starting his first day of kindergarten this morning. It was also Nathan's first day of high school, after he took his placement tests the school felt it was best to place him in his junior year of high school.

When I awoke, my arm was protectively slung around Amanda's petite waist. I laid there for a moment allowing myself to really wake up, gently stretching out my legs. It wasn't long before Amanda began to stir as well.

"Good morning," I chuckled softly.

"Hmmm do we have to get up?" she moaned.

"I'm afraid so; we have to get Brice to school," I reminded her, and she rolled over to face me.

"We can home school him," she mumbled, cuddling closer to me. "I don't want to get out of bed."

"I know, but we have too. Besides, who would teach him if we home schooled him?" I pointed out.

"My mom is retired now," she suggested jokingly.

"I don't think that's the best idea…" I said carefully.

"Yeah, probably not," she giggled, finally enabling herself to get out of bed.

I managed to pull myself from the warmth of the bed as well. Brice was already awake when I went into his room to wake him and get him ready for the day.

"Morning buddy," I spoke softly. "Time to get up for school."

He practically leaped out of his bed: the first day of school was something he had been talking about since the day he got home. He started getting ready and I found my way to the kitchen where Amanda was.

"I still can't believe he's starting kindergarten," Amanda sighed, handing me a mug of coffee.

"I still remember the first week he was living with me and my family. Time flies," I added.

"Aww, are you feeling old," she playfully teased, sitting down at the table with a bowl of fruit and her coffee.

I grabbed Brice's cereal box down from the top shelf of the pantry and placed it on the counter. After a few moments he was making his way to the kitchen dressed in the clothes Amanda had laid out for him the night before—His jeans and a white polo.

"Are you excited for the first day of school?" Amanda asked as I placed the bowl in front of him and sat down at the table.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Uncle Josh told me that in kindergarten you get to take naps all day and drink juice."

"Well you have to remember it's been a while since Uncle Josh was in kindergarten, he may be a little off," I explained.

Once we finished eating, I took a quick shower and got dressed myself, a pair of jeans and my black button down shirt. I snatched a clean pair of scrubs and threw them into my work bag.

"Ready to go?" Amanda asked from the door way.

"Just have to brush my teeth," I smiled.

"Brice and I are going to head down to the car," she nodded and disappeared from the doorway.

There was something odd about the way she had been acting since she got home from New York. It was as if she wasn't telling me something. I didn't know if it was something I had done, or if something happened in New York, but there was definitely something bothering her.

I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt and quickly brushed my teeth before meeting them down at the car. The whole car ride, Brice asked about what kindergarten would be like.

We pulled up to the school and we all walked in. There were small children running around everywhere, there was also the occasional child who would be clinging to their parent's pant leg trying to hide themselves. I made sure to grab the camera before leaving the apartment so I would be able to take a few pictures of Brice at the school.

"Hello, welcome to the first day of school. I'm Ms. Mayer, and who are you?" A lady in her late twenties greeted us as we walk through the classroom door.

"Brice Kyle Trager," Brice said, gazing up at the woman.

"Well, Brice, we're very happy to have you here. Why don't you go hang your backpack up on one of those hooks over there," she suggested, pointing to the hooks the held four other small backpacks like Brice's.

"You two must be…?" she trailed off, not wanting to assume.

"I'm Amanda, and this is my husband Kyle. We're Brice's parents." I could already tell Ms. Mayer was taken back a little by our age.

"Well like I said I'm very happy to have Brice in my class this year," she smiled. "Please don't forget to write down your names and phone numbers on that sheet over there. Just so I have record of how to contact either of you if I have to."

She pointed to a sheet that another couple was hovering over. We took a few pictures of Brice interacting with a few of the other kids, then filled out the sheet before we had to say goodbye to Brice.

"Alright buddy, your mom and I have to get going," I said, crouching down in front of him.

"You're leaving?" he asked.

"It's almost time for class to start, sweetie," Amanda explained. "But don't worry Nana Nicole is going to pick you up after school, then you'll go to her house until we're done at work."

"You'll be okay buddy, can I get a hug before we go?" I asked, holding out my arms.

He hugged us both and went back to playing with his friends. I wrapped my arm around Amanda as we walked out of the school and back to the car.

"That went better than I thought it would," I commented. "I honestly thought he'd be upset with us leaving."

"He didn't even seem fazed by it," she added.

"I guess that's better though, it's not as hard to leave him. I remember when I dropped him off at day care for the first time and he cried and cried when I left."

"Aww," she said sympathetically. "I thought I was having a hard time with him turning five, but now that we just dropped him off for his first day…"

"Now who feels old?" I chuckled and she gently slapped me on my chest.

When we got back into the car I asked her if she wanted to come with me to take Nathan to school or if she needed to get home to get her work done.

"Do you think Nathan would want _both_ of us _and_ Nicole to take him to his first day of _high__school_?" Amanda pointed out.

"You're probably right," I acknowledged. "Not that I minded having Nicole with me on my first day."

"I've noticed that Nathan is picking up on social cues a lot faster than you did," she said carefully. "Why is that?"

"Jessi, Foss and I started noticing that too when we were at the cabin. He was speaking in full sentences by the second day we were there."

"But why is that?" she asked.

"When I was in the pod, they ran data input retention tests. They basically would input questions that ranged from mathematical formulas to war strategies. What I think they were doing with Nathan was not only what they did with me but also inputting social ques. Right now, that is one of the many things Foss and Jessi are looking into," I explained as I parallel parked in front of the apartment building.

"Sometimes I wonder if the Latnok board members have any humanity left in them," she replied.

"You're not the only one," I sighed. "After I take Nathan to school I have to head straight to work. I'm done around six tonight, unless I get pulled into surgery. Do you want me to pick up Brice?"

"Sure, just call me if you can't and I'll go get him," she said, leaning forward to give me a kiss goodbye. "I love you."

"Love you too," I said as she climbed out of the car, and I drove off.

Within a few minutes I was pulling into the drive way of the Trager house.

"Ready for your first day?" I smiled at Nathan through the rearview mirror as he climbed into the back and Nicole got into the front with me.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled. He seemed to be adjusting really fast to social cues. He had defiantly picked up on sarcasm. "Did you already take Brice to school?"

"Amanda and I dropped him off this morning," I explained, backing out of the driveway.

"How did that go?" Nicole asked, knowing what it was like to leave your child on the first day of school.

"Surprisingly well, he didn't cry or beg us not to leave. It was an easy process," I explained.

"That's always better than tears and shouting," she laughed gently.

It wasn't long before we arrived at the high school. Nathan got out of the car and peered at the school and all the students interacting in the court yard.

"You'll be fine," I assured as we walked into the school.

"Ah, Mr. Trager, I'm glad to see you came in with Nathan here. I wanted to talk to you," Mr. Baker the new principal greeted as he stepped out of his office when we were preoccupied with one of the assistance printing Nathan's schedule.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No, no, just a few things to clear up, but before we discus that. Nate, I would like to introduce you to Hailey," he said, gesturing to the brown haired girl standing quietly behind us. "She is a student ambassador, she'll be showing you around today, and make sure you don't get lost."

They said an awkward hello.

"Well, why don't you two head off to class, you don't want to be late," Mr. Baker urged.

Nathan said goodbye to me and the two of them slipped out of the office.

"Why don't you two step into my office," he said, heading back into his office.

"What is all this about?" I asked as Nicole and I took our seats.

"Well you are Nate's brother, but according to our records he's only been in your custody for a few months now. And before that, our recodes are very…limited," he noted, folding his hands on his desk.

I glanced at Nicole quickly before saying. "Before Nathan was placed in my care, he bounced around from foster home to foster home." The lie just rolled off my tongue. "As far as his education goes, I don't know much, but as you have already seen he's very intelligent."

"Right, but, the family history is what seems to be concerning me more than his education," he clarified. "There doesn't seem to be much of one."

"I understand that, Mr. Baker, we're actually trying to figure out most of it ourselves. I'm working with his social worker now to get most of that straightened out. I can have him call you if you would like," I suggested.

"I would like that very much, if I could hear from him by the end of the week that would be great," he said, making a few notes in what I assumed to be Nathan's file.

Nicole and I excused ourselves and left the school.

"So who is Nathan's social worker?" Nicole asked once back in the car.

I rested my head back on the head rest and sighed closing my eyes. "I'll just have Foss take care of that. He can pretend to be his social worker or something."

"Sometimes I feel like history is repeating itself," she commented.

"In some ways it is," I added. "I have to go meet with my contractor before I go to work, do you want to come with and see the progress on the house?"

"I'd love to," she smiled. "Amanda still has no idea, does she?"

"She's seen the blue prints but she just thinks that it's my 'dream home' to live in one day. She has no idea that I'm actually in the process of building it," I explained as I drove.

"What does she think about the blue prints?" Nicole asked.

"She loves them," I grinned.

"How has it been to work with that contractor? I know you were having a hard time getting in contact with him," Nicole questioned.

"Well once I was able to get a hold of him everything was fine, also mentioning Foss's name didn't hurt," I smirked.

I parked the car in the parking lot by the pier and Nicole and I took the fairy over to Adam's land, well my land now. Once we got off the boat we saw the contractor, Mike, overseeing his crew.

"Mr. Trager! I'm glad you could make it," he greeted after seeing Nicole and I advance his way.

"How's everything coming here?" I asked. Since he and I started this project it's been almost three weeks, and I've been out here on a weekly bases checking the progress.

"Things have been going smoothly. Since you were here last week we've started on building the frame work to the house, as you can see. We hope to be able to get the plumber and electrician out here by the end of the week, so that the guys can start putting up the dry wall early next week," he explained as we walked around the site.

"You guys are moving very fast," Nicole commented.

"That's how we work, ma'am," he smiled kindly.

"So we're still on course with finishing by mid-to-end of October?" I reminded.

"Yes, the house should be done by then," he confirmed.

"Foss was right, you guys work fast," I added, looking at the site.

"I've built a few places for Foss in my years; he always wants his places done fast and well," he explained. "And that's just what we do."

"That's what I like to hear, it looks like everything is under control. I'll be back next week," I said before Nicole and I left. I dropped her back off at the house before heading to work.

Most of my day was spent monitoring a premature baby girl, who we had just operated on the night before. She was born with her heart growing on the outside of her body, rather than on the inside. Cases like hers were very rare, but they did happen. Her name was Elizabeth, but her dad had already begun to call her Lizzy.

I swept my hand into the incubator and stroked her hand. She wasn't breathing on her own yet given that her lungs hadn't been able to develop. She had bright green eyes though, and was extremely tiny given that she was a premature baby.

"How's she doing?" Dr. Robins asked enter the NICU, a mask covering her face and a sterile gown along with gloves.

"She's strong," I commented through my own mask. "Her vitals are good, and she seems more alert today."

Dr. Robins nodded as she ran a check on Elizabeth.

"I have a C-section to do this afternoon, would you like to scrub in?" she asked, making a few notes in her chart.

"Who will watch Elizabeth?" I asked.

"Dr. Collins will," She assumed.

"I'd love to. When's the surgery?"

"Half an hour," she explained, motioning for Dr. Collins to come in from the hall and take over for me and for me to follow her.

As we walked down the hall to the elevator, that would take us to the O.R. Floor, she briefed me on the case. It was just a simple C- section; we would go in and take the baby out, than sew the mom back up.

As we scrubbed in for the surgery, Dr. Robins quizzed me on various aspects of the surgery and asked about certain complications that could arise. I tied the strings of my light blue scrub cap and tied on a surgical mask, before entering the operating room.

The surgery didn't take long, but by the time Dr. Robins was closing up it was time for my shift to be over. I scrubbed out and headed to the locker room to get changed into my street clothes. On my way out of the hospital, Dr. Robins stopped me again.

"Dr. Trager, tomorrow Dr. Thomas and I are repairing a heart valve on a baby in womb. Would you like to scrub in?" she asked, glancing up from her chart at the nurses' station.

"What time is your surgery? Dr. Fords also requested that I scrub in on a craniotomy with him tomorrow. I might be able to do both, though," I explained.

"My surgery begins at eight in the morning," she said, playing with her pen.

"It's about a four hours surgery… Dr. Ford's surgery isn't until three in the afternoon… Yeah, I'd love to help," I confirmed, thinking out loud slightly.

"Great! I'll see you in the morning Dr. Trager, have a good night," she beamed.

"You too, Dr. Robins," I returned, before leaving to head out to my car.

It wasn't long before I was at the Trager house; I spent some time there talking to Nathan about his day and to Nicole and Stephen as well. I wasn't able to stay too long though because I knew Amanda had dinner ready back at the apartment.

On the drive home, Brice fell asleep in the back seat. Once I parked the car, I gently got Brice out of the car and quietly carried him up to the apartment without waking him. His head slumped on my shoulder and my jacket draped around him. I managed to open the apartment door while still holding him.

Amanda came to check who it was and smiled seeing Brice asleep in my arms. I just took him straight to his room and tucked him into bed.

"The first day wore him out?" Amanda chuckled, reheating our dinner.

"I guess so," I smiled, leaning against the counter. "Dinner smells great, by the way."

"Thank you, I hope that it tastes good. I made steak and potatoes," she beamed, taking one of the plates out of the microwave and putting the other one in.

"I'm sure it will," I said, gently pulling her over to me by her waist. "How was your day?"

"Long, I made a lot of conference calls, and booked a lot of gigs and recording times," she said, slipping her hands around my neck. "How was your day?"

"It was good; I spent most of my day monitoring a premature baby who was born with her heart growing on the outside of the chest cavity," I explained, resting my hands on her lower back. "Then before I left I scrubbed in on a c-section."

"Didn't you have a case like that before, with a baby having a heart problem like that?" she questioned. She always loved hearing about my work.

"Yeah, when I was in my first year of my internship I observed a surgery like that," I recalled.

The microwave beeped and she slipped away to grab the plate and we sat down at the table to eat. We continued talking for a while, it had been a long time since we had done this, just the two of us sitting down to dinner.

"This is nice," she commented, both of our plates had been empty for a while; we were just engrossed in our conversation.

"I was just thinking the same thing actually," I smiled slightly, playing with her hand in mine, on the table. "We haven't been able to just sit and talk in a _long_ time."

"I know, before we know it we'll turn into one of those married couples who only talk about their work and family problems," she joked.

"We both promised each other a long time ago that that would never be us," I reminded her, motioning for her to come and sit on my lap, which she accepted.

"I remember that; it was when we were still living in New Hampshire," she recalled, "We had just had a fight about not making time for each other and getting too wrapped up in our school work."

"I remember," I laughed slightly. "That was after we got back from spending the holidays here, Brice had ended up staying here to spend some time with my parents. I also remember that after that argument we ended up having sex."

"Well, with us, that's usually how it goes," she blushed slightly.

After a while, we moved our conversation into the bedroom and continued to talk until we fell asleep. That was one of the many things I loved about our relationship, no matter how crazy things in our lives got, we were still able to keep one another grounded.

** AN: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I felt it was more of a transition chapter, though. I want to get back to a more scifi element soon but I also want to explore Kyle and Amanda's relationship a little. So I guess you guys can look forward to that. Other than that just let me know what you think, what you would like to see, it's always appreciated! Thanks for reading! **


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 47

Mortality

"In My Place"- Coldplay

Kyle (POV)

I flipped through a journal of Adam's. I had been reading one of the personal journals Adam kept from the early stages of the experiment. I had been lucky that the journals I had burned years ago were actually copies that Foss had given me. The ones I had been reading now are the original journals Adam kept. I had been comparing Adam's notes on the experiment with the Latnok notes that had been taken of Nathan. There was a great contrast between Adam's view of the experiment and that of the head scientist, Ethan Pratt, in charge of Nathan. In Adam's notes I was referred to as a child, in Ethan's notes Nathan was a subject or 781230.

I had begun my own journals, just in case something was to happen to me, and Nathan was to need them. I guess I was following in Adam's footsteps by preparing for these things. Foss and I didn't talk about my mortality much, but we both knew it was a concern. That's exactly why we train as often and as hard as we do.

From what Adam had written, his symptoms of system failure became prevalent three years before his death. He experienced frequent headaches, nose bleeds and soon his immune system weakened and it became harder and harder to fight off illnesses.

"What are you doing?" Amanda asked from behind me. She rubbed my shoulders lovingly.

"Just going over Adam's notes," I mumbled, closing the worn brown leather book and setting it on the stack of papers on the coffee table.

"Again? You've been going over them every night this week," she pointed out. "What are you looking for anyway?"

"I'm not quite sure." That was a lie. The truth was I had, had a nose bleed the other day at work and it had been worrying me.

"Kyle, are you okay?" she asked, shifting to sit on the arm of the couch. "You've been kind of distant."

"I've just had a lot on my mind." I knew it was terrible to lie, but I didn't want to worry her if there wasn't anything to worry about.

"You can talk to me," she said, lifting my chin.

"I know," I said back. "Actually there's something I want to show you."

I got up and went to my coat and dug in the pocket for the set of house keys I received from the contractor yesterday afternoon.

"You have to show me something?" she questioned, and I knew she knew I was only trying to avoid telling her something but she didn't push it.

"Yeah, Brice is still at Anthony's house, right?" I called from the hallway.

"Yeah, Anthony's mom just called and offered for Brice to stay the night," she said, kind of confused by my sudden need to show her something. "What do you have to show me?"

"This," I smiled, holding out a single golden key.

"A key?" she questioned, taking it from me. "To what?"

"That's the surprise," I grinned.

"Kyle, you know I don't like surprises," she protested.

"Trust me, you'll love this," I assured her, holding out her coat.

She bit her lower lip as if she was contemplating what I was up to. Then she reluctantly took her coat and slipped on her shoes.

"Okay, don't think that this gets you off the hook though," she warned.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I mumbled to myself as we left the apartment.

I drove the long way to get to the property by car. It was almost an hour outside of the city by car and 20 minutes by the ferry boat. I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw her playing with the key in her hands. I reached over and took one of her hands in mine to ease her nerves.

"You're really not going to tell me where we are going?" she pleaded.

"Nope, I've already given you a big hint," I reminded her.

"A key is hardly a hint," she retorted.

"Well it's the only one you're getting," I teased.

She sighed in frustration, and looked out the window as if she was trying to figure out the surprise by using land marks. It probably wasn't working so well considering all we were passing were trees.

"We're almost there, don't worry," I assured her, kissing her hand.

Once we were about to turn down the road that led to the land I pulled the car over.

"Why are we stopping?" she questioned, scanning around.

"Don't worry; I just need you to put this on," I said, reaching in back for a scarf. "I don't want any peeking."

"Seriously?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

I nodded, holding the black knit scarf out to her.

"Okay," she sighed, wrapping it over her eyes. "You better not be kidnapping me, Mr. Trager."

"We're already married, why would I have to kidnap you?" I joked.

We pulled into the long driveway that led to the house and I parked right out front.

"Okay I'm going to get out; I don't want you to peek so wait until I've come around to get you," I ordered, climbing out of the car.

I hopped around the car and over to her door and opened it for her. I led her to the middle of the yard. It was strange to consider it a yard because of how massive the land was.

"Okay, you can look now," I said, standing directly beside her.

The front of the house had stone steps that led to the wooden doors and giant glass windows on either side. Stone support beams held up part of what would be the second floor. Seeder wood was used to panel most of the house where there weren't windows.

"Kyle…" she trailed off. "It's beautiful…"

"You like it?" I gathered.

"I love it! This is ours?" she questioned, her mouth still dangling open in shock.

"Yep, this whole property is ours," I explained.

"This must have cost a fortune. We can't afford this," she said, turning to me.

"The land was left to me by Adam, I didn't pay for it," I said. "As far as the house goes, building it cost around five hundred thousand."

"Five hundred thousand?" Her eyes bulged.

"That's probably something else I should explain," I smiled sheepishly.

"Please do," she said, folding her arms over her chest.

"Once Foss found out about the blue prints I had made, the ones I showed to you, he informed me that Adam left me 16.3 million dollars," I shrugged.

"_16.3 million dollars_?" she cut me off.

"I've put half away for Nathan, since he is Adam's son too. Even if Adam didn't know about Nathan, it's what he would have wanted." I paused for her to say something but she didn't. "Anyway, I gave one million of my share to Stephen and Nicole and another million each to Josh and Lori."

"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" She said still recovering from the shock.

"If you knew we had that kind of money, than you would have wanted to start looking for a house. I wanted to surprise you with this one," I said, gesturing to the house before us.

"You've certainly accomplished that," she mumbled, gazing up at the house.

"Come on, you haven't even seen the inside," I smiled, wrapping my arm around her and leading her into the house.

"Now, it's not furnished because I thought you would like to do that," I warned as I opened the door.

We stepped into the house and slipped off our shoes, afraid to dirty the wooden floors.

"This would be the family room," I said, taking a step off of the landing. "We'd probably put a couch here and mount the T.V above the fire place here."

I could tell she was a little overwhelmed.

"Then over here is the kitchen slash dining room," I said before walking a few feet from the family room; there weren't any walls to divide these rooms. "I figured we would put the dining table here. I did have to make the decision on what to put in the kitchen and bathrooms so I tried to pick what you would like." I had chosen a darker wood for the cabinets along with a black stone counter top.

If you were to face the kitchen with your back to the front door, glass windows with wooden frames lined the wall you were facing. It made for a spectacular view of the trees and the harbor that over looked the city. I had also made sure that there was a porch built out from this room just for the view, so there was a door off of the kitchen that led out there.

"What do you think?" I asked, hoping she would say something.

"It's…It's all so…I don't even know...but I love it!" she beamed and I laughed. "This is what has been on your mind lately?"

I smiled sheepishly and nodded, just going with it.

"Come on, there's more to see," I said as I walked through the little hall off of the kitchen and into one of the rooms.

"This is just a spare room; I figured we could make it a guest room or something." The room was pretty basic, wood floors, a closet and a window.

The next room we went into was adjacent to this one. "However, I figured you could use this room as your office," I explained opening the door.

She walked in and glanced around, it was pretty empty like the last room. The only difference was that there wasn't a closet and the window in this room was fairly large considering it was on the back wall that gave a really great view.

"My office…" she trailed off.

"Your office," I smiled, "No more having to used the kitchen table."

She looked around for a moment longer before I showed her the bathroom on this level of the house. From there I went to the hall to the right of the front door. The first room I went into had a bathroom of its own as well as a fairly large closet.

"I was planning on this being Nathan's room, he would have his own bathroom. Just so he would have a little more privacy," I explained.

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that," she said and we continued onto the room across the hall from Nathan's.

"This is going to be my office," I said, opening the door. It was similar to Amanda's only hers was more long and narrow as were mine was wider in length. It did, however, have another set of giant windows for the view.

"Well, that's it for down stairs," I announced. "Would you like to see the upstairs?"

"Do you even have to ask?" she grinned.

I led her up the stairs that was to the left of the front door.

"This area here, I figured could be used as a play area or whatever for Brice," I said, gesturing to the open area that over looked the first floor and had four doors leading off of it.

We went into the biggest of the four bedrooms. "This is the master bedroom."

"This is like three times the size of our room at the apartment," she commented.

With the build of the house the ceilings weren't very high but they did come to a very high arch. There were two sky lights on either side of the ceiling for light, and a bathroom as well as a fairly large closet that we would have to share.

From there I showed her Brice's room which was to the left of our room.

"I figured that since there will be a bit of an age difference between Brice and our next child that he should have his own room and bathroom," I clarified as she looked around, then we continued onto the next rooms.

"Now these two rooms have a joining bathroom," I explained as she looked around. "I figured this room could be used for our little girl and the next one over could be our little boy's room."

"We're having a boy and a girl?" she asked.

"I don't know, hopefully someday," I shrugged.

She was quiet and turned to look out the window that, to me, had the best view. Her back was too me, but I could tell she was just processing it all.

"Kyle?" she finally spoke.

"Hmm?" I inquired, slipping my hands into my jean pockets.

"What if I told you, that '_someday'_ was sooner than you thought?" she caught me a little off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked, stepping forward.

She sighed, "What if I told you that we may be using this room sooner than we planned?" she said, turning to me.

I still wasn't one hundred percent sure as to what she meant.

"Kyle, I'm pregnant," she finally clarified.

"You're what?" I wanted to make sure that I had heard her correctly.

"I'm pregnant, Kyle, we're going to have a baby." She had tears in her eyes but she was smiling.

"We're going to have a baby!" I felt the grin spread across my face as I pulled her into my arms and kissed her tenderly.

I pulled back slightly and rested my hand over her stomach, "A baby,"

She placed her hands over mine. "Our baby."

**AN: So here is another chapter, and I hope you all enjoyed it! I have to admit that I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for a while. As an author I'm glad to see Kyle and Amanda's relationship and family mature. I've also begun treading water on the topic of Kyle's mortality. It's something that I've always wanted to explore and I feel that it fits in with what I have planned for the story.**

**One thing that you all can help me with is, (And I know it might be early to ask but…) should they have a boy? Or a girl? And what are your thoughts one names? **


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 48

New Beginnings

"Skinny Love"- Bon Iver

Kyle (POV)

It had been two weeks since I had shown Amanda the new house, and two weeks since she had told me she was pregnant. We had decided to hold off on telling the family about the pregnancy. Part of me couldn't wait to tell the family; however we had agreed to wait until after the first ultrasound to tell them. We wanted to make sure that the baby was healthy.

Yesterday, Amanda and I had fallen asleep on the couch and when I woke up I tried listening very closely and I was able to hear the baby's heart beat. It was faint, just starting to develop and strengthen. I had to leave for my night shift at the hospital before she woke up, so I never had the chance to tell her about it.

I changed out of my scrubs and into my jogging clothes. I was meeting Foss and Nathan for an early morning workout, before Nathan had to go to school. I left the hospital and drove to the warehouse.

"There you are!" Foss called when he heard me come in through the metal doors.

"Sorry, there were some complications with the last surgery," I explained, tossing my bag aside. "What do you have planned for today?"

"Martial arts training," Nathan grinned.

We had been working on defensive training about two times a week. Nathan always enjoyed the challenge of sparring with me; he said that when he trained with Jessi he was too worried about hurting her. When he told me that I couldn't help but laugh, because when I sparred with Jessi she got mad if I held back.

"Okay, I want you to go over the close quarter combat." Foss instructed for me to help demonstrate. "Say I was backed against the wall and Kyle was to come at me, ready to punch me."

I mimicked an attack stance with my hands clenched into fists ready to punch.

"When he comes at me," he motioned for me to strike. "I want to put my arms up and get my right elbow in the crook of the right side of his neck."

We demonstrated the move in slow motion.

"Then I am the one who has the power, what should I do next?" Foss posed the question to Nathan.

"Move for a shoulder dislocation," Nathan answered.

"Right," Foss agreed, mimicking the next move without actually dislocating my shoulder. "Now show me."

Nathan and I ran through the motions slowly allowing him to get a feel for the technique.

"Faster," Foss ordered after the first run through.

We practiced the moves a few more times getting faster with every run through.

"Now Kyle, I want you to actually attack and respond to Nathan's counter attack," Foss harked.

Before Nathan could go for a shoulder dislocation I responded with a side step flipping his body onto my back and sending him to the ground.

"React Nate, come on!" Foss encouraged and the sparring began to pick up.

He bounced back to his feet and lunged at me with a punch to my abdominal section using his entire body. I faltered slightly regaining my footing before attacking back. His arms were up in preparation, I took that to my advantage by circling my arm around his and grabbing his face with my palm and locking his other arm behind his back.

"What now?" I teased.

"This," he taunted back, flipping me to the floor this time.

As I fell I anchored my foot around his shin and kick his thigh with my other foot causing him to crash down after me. The fighting continued on for two hours before Foss brook it up and the session ended.

"Good work," Foss commented. "One thing we need to work on, though, is becoming faster with our responses."

Nathan nodded, wiped off his face with a towel before jugging down some water.

"Kyle, your nose," Nathan pointed out to me. "It's bleeding."

Instinctively I wiped my nose with my hand and sure enough it was. Foss tossed me another towel and I held it to my nose.

"Nate, I didn't see you hit Kyle's face the whole time," he commented.

"I didn't," he shrugged.

"It's probably just dry in here," I tried to wave it off. "We should get going; you need to get ready for school."

"Right," he sighed and began gathering his things.

Foss pulled me aside. "What was that?"

My eyebrows pulled together. "What?"

"The nose bleed, Kyle."

"Just a nose bleed," I shrugged.

"We both know nose bleeds are never_ just_ nose bleeds," he replied in a stern whisper.

"Kyle, come on I'm going to be late!" Nathan called, ready to head out.

"Alright." I took that opportunity to leave.

We drove back to the house with casual conversation about how Nathan was adjusting to school and life in general.

"How's that girl?" I asked

"Hailey? She's nice, she's in a lot of my classes so we talk, I guess." He indifferently played it off and I smiled.

"Have you hung out?" I asked

"We've gotten coffee with friends at that place, the Rack," he said as we pulled into the driveway of the Trager home and made our way into the house.

"Hey guys!" Nicole greeted. "Phew! You stink!"

"Nice to see you too?" I questioned when we were in the kitchen.

"What did Foss have you do? Run a marathon?" she joked. "Both of you, go shower. Kyle you can use our bathroom."

We headed upstairs to shower. Once I was done, I dried off then went downstairs to my old room and grabbed a set of clothes I kept there in case of emergencies. I pulled on the dark wash jeans and buttoned up the black shirt. As I walked back out to the kitchen I rolled up my sleeves.

"Better?" I questioned as I went to hug Nicole.

"Much," she smiled. "Coffee?" she asked, holding up a mug.

"Sure," I said, taking a seat at the counter.

"How was training?" she asked as she fixed my coffee. I always felt like I was a young kid when I visited Stephen and Nicole, because even though I was older Nicole has never stopped acting on her motherly instincts. It was one of the things I loved about visiting; it was also something that I could always count on.

"Fun actually; Foss had Nathan and I practice martial arts," I said, and she handed me the dark green mug of steaming hot coffee. "Thanks."

"You guys seem to be bonding well," she observed as she began preparing her morning tea.

"Yeah, it's been great. It's different though," I mumbled, testing my coffee.

"What do you mean?" she probed.

"Well with Lori and Josh, yes they are my brother and sister but they have a bond with each other that I don't have because we didn't grow up together. However with Nathan, I do have that bond in a way because I've been with him since day one."

"You and Nate are also able to relate to one another, you share the same history as well as parents," she added.

"Right," I smiled.

"I'm just glad that he's been staying with Stephen and me, I kind of miss having you kids living here," she admitted. "But now that Amanda knows about the house, I assume you'll be moving in soon and Nate will be too."

"Yeah, Amanda and I have been packing all week. We took today off because we're having the movers come this afternoon so we have to finish up a few things," I explained.

"Than it will just be Stephen and me in this big empty house," she sighed dramatically.

"Don't worry; Lori is going to be having those twins any day now," I chuckled.

"Wasn't she due yesterday?" Nathan asked after charging down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab something from the fridge.

"Yep, and she's been complaining about it all day," Nicole added.

"It's only 7:30," I pointed out.

"Exactly," she smiled, sipping her coffee. "We need to get you to school!"

"I can drive him if you want me too," I offered, rising from my seat at the counter.

"No, no; you need to go help Amanda pack," she reminded me.

I followed them out and hopped in my Jeep and backed it out of the driveway so I wouldn't block Nicole's car any longer. I drove back to the apartment after that and made my way up to our floor. My hand fumbled in my coat pocket for the keys before I was able to unlock the door. It was odd to think that this would be one of the last times I entered the apartment after today.

"Amanda?" I called, gliding off my shoes and shrugging out of my coat.

"Don't come in here!" a groan came from the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" I asked through the closed door.

"Nothing…it's just morning sickness… you don't need to see this," she cried.

"I'm your husband, 'through sickness and health'," I quoted our vows as I opened the door.

"No don't!" she tried to protest but was overcome by nausea instead and hurled into the toilet.

I held her hair back and rubbed small soothing circles on her back.

"When did this start?" I asked when I knew she was finished. I really hoped that she hadn't been in here all morning.

"After I got back from dropping Brice off at school," she moaned.

I damped a cloth and handed it to her. We sat on the tiled floor of the bathroom for a little while longer. I leaned against the bathtub and she rested her head on my shoulder with my arm slung around her shoulders.

"I think it's over…" she said timidly.

"Are you sure?" I mumbled, kissing her head.

"Yeah," she sighed in relief.

I got to my feet, than extended my hand to her and helped her up.

"Just give me a minute to clean myself up," she said and I nodded.

"Why don't you lie down for a while?" I suggested, cupping her cheek in my hand. "Get some rest?"

"What about packing?" she questioned.

"I'll take care of it, there isn't that much left anyway," I smiled.

"Only if you wake me in an hour," she wagered.

"Alright," I chuckled and gently kissed her forehead.

Within that hour I was able to finish packing up the family room and begin on packing up Brice's toys. I packed some of his action figures and trucks into the cardboard box. When I reached deep into one of the dresser drawers, in the way back I found an old pacifier. It must have been one of the ones he hid from Amanda and me when we were trying to wean him off of them.

I sat down on the edge of his bed and held it between my fingers. It had been years since he had last used on of these. The rubber end had teeth marks in them and the lime green ring was all scratched up and some dirt clung to it from neglect in the drawer. It seemed like only yesterday we were struggling with him to stop using them. Now he was five years old, we were moving into our new house and there is another baby on the way. I shook my head and sighed, tossing it into the box and continuing on.

I glanced at the wall clock that hung on the wall above Brice toy chest; it had already been an hour and a half since Amanda went to lie down. She would probably be upset if I let her sleep all day. I tapped up the box and stacked it among the others in the family room.

"Amanda," I whispered as I gently nudged her shoulder.

"Mmmm…" she moaned, her eyes fluttering a little. "What time is it?"

"Just after eleven," I replied softly.

"Okay," she mumbled as she willed herself to sit up.

"How do you feel?" I asked, brushing a few strands of stray hairs away from her face.

"Better, I really hope this morning sickness doesn't last the entire pregnancy," she said as she rubbed her face with her hands.

"It will get better," I assured.

"Promise?" she questioned, looking up at me through her eye lashes.

"Promise," I chuckled.

Once she had woken up a little more she joined me in finishing up with the packing. There really wasn't much left since we had been working on it little by little all week. The boxes had begun to flow from the family room into part of the hallway by the time everything that was going to the new house was packed.

"That's it," I said, placing the last box with the others. "That's all of them."

"Wow," she mused, taking in how truly empty the apartment was. "Do you remember when we first moved in here?"

"Yeah, it was pouring outside and we were running in and out of the lobby with boxes," I laughed, wrapping my arms around her.

"We had to get everything moved in that day, or else we would have to pay to have the moving company hold our things for the night," she recalled with a slight laugh. "Growing up, my dad would always tell me to slow down, because life would pass me by in a heartbeat. I never truly understood what he meant until the past few years."

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

"Our lives have changed and grown so much in the last few years, I could have sworn it was yesterday that we were seventeen and we would get coffee at the Rack." She smiled faintly. "Now we're married, Lori and Declan are going to be parents any day now and Josh and Andy aren't too far from being engaged."

"Do you feel like things are moving too fast?" I asked, a little concerned.

"No…I mean…Sometimes I just wish that I could slow time down. That I didn't have to feel old when I take Brice to school," she laughed.

"You wish that he didn't have to grow up so fast?" I concluded.

"I wish _we_ didn't have to grow up so fast," she laughed.

"I felt the same way earlier when I found one of his pacifiers when I was packing his things," I added. "I could have sworn that I just signed those adoption papers."

"I know exactly what you mean," she sighed with a smile.

It wasn't long before Amanda left to pick Brice and Nathan up from school. She was going to run by Stephen and Nicole's before she and the boys met me at the house. An hour after she left the movers came and loaded all the boxes and furniture we were planning on taking with us into their truck. And were on their way to the new house.

"One door closes…"I mumbled the cliché to myself in the empty apartment. I glanced around soaking in all of the details we were leaving behind.

There was a brown stain on the carpet where Brice had spilled his apple juice when he was three. There were also fade marks on the white walls where picture frame once hung. There were little quirks about the apartment that part of me would grow to miss. For instance, the temperamental shower and the kitchen drawer that stuck so you had to open it a special way or the musician in the apartment below us that would play guitar late at night.

I placed the single beaten up golden key I had on the ledge by the front door and took one last gaze at the vacant apartment. I smiled faintly as I closed the door. There was the vivid feeling of optimism and fear as I did. Physically I was leaving behind and apartment, however emotionally I was leaving a place that held an abundant amount of memories.

After I drove to the new house and met the movers and I supervised as they unloaded all the boxes into the correct rooms. It wasn't until the movers were finishing up that I received a phone call from Amanda.

"Hey, where are you guys? The movers are just finishing up," I divulged as I paced casually in the kitchen of our new home.

"We're on our way to the hospital, Lori is in labor!" she blurted out.

"I'll—I'll be right there. Let me just lock up and I'll meet everyone there," I stammered and said a quick goodbye as I tried my best to hurry the movers along.

Within twenty minutes I was flying down the road and hopping onto the highway making my way to the hospital. I was in such a hurry I almost forgot to lock up the house, not that anyone lived near us. Once I arrived at the hospital and made my way to the waiting room where I joined the family.

"Hey Kyle," Josh greeted with a casual nod from where he was seated with Andy.

"Hey, have we heard anything? How's Lori?" I asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs by Amanda.

"She's doing fine, your mom and dad are with her, and Declan is on his way he was in class when he got the call," Amanda updated me on the situation.

"So now we get to sit here for forever," Josh complained and Andy smacked the back of his head.

"Your sister is having her babies," she scolded.

"And? I'm not having a baby," he teased, trying to receive a reaction from her.

"I think we'd all be pretty concerned if you were having a baby," Nathan commented.

After that Amanda had asked about the house and the conversation flowed from there. After about two hours Brice was becoming antsy, and when Declan arrived we were informed that they would have to perform a c-section on Lori.

"Dad, when are the babies going to be here?" Brice asked, tugging on my sleeve.

"I don't know, Bri, when they're ready I guess," I replied, it was evident that he was bored. "Why don't we go for a walk? I can show you where I work."

He nodded and I took his hand leading him out of the waiting room. We strolled down to the elevator and rode it up to the surgical floor.

"This is where I spend most of my day," I explained and we leisurely walked around the wing. "This is where I treat sick people and make them feel better."

"You cut people open here?" he asked looking up at me.

"No, not here, we take the patient down to the operating room. Then we give them medicine that helps them sleep and so that they can't feel anything, then we fix them," I explained in simple terms that he wouldn't freak out over it.

"Brice Kyle Trager! Is that you?" It was Dr. Palmer, the PEDS attending. "I haven't seen you in years."

"Bri, this is Dr. Palmer, she was the one who helped you feel better when you kept having those ear infections." When Brice was three Dr. Palmer had placed tubes in his ears to help drain the fluid.

"Hello, Dr. Palmer, it's nice to see you again," he greeted politely.

"Well aren't you just a charmer," she cooed and he smiled boyishly. "And I see you've picked up on your dad's smile."

He just laughed not knowing what else to say.

"I thought it was your day off Kyle?" she inquired, turning her attention to me.

"It is, but my sister went into labor and they're doing a c-section right now," I explained.

"Dr. Robins?" she questioned.

"Yeah,"

"Well then she's in wonderful hands," she assured me. "I've got to run though, and it was great seeing you again Brice."

"Bye, Dr. Palmer," he replied.

"Just like your dad," she mumbled as she walked away.

After a few hours we meandered back to the waiting room where we were informed that Lori was out of surgery and everything went well. Lori and the babies were resting and we would be able to go back and visit in a little while. I spoke with a few of the nurses and was able to allow all of us to go back into the room to visit with Lori.

"Hey guys!" Lori greeted quietly so as to not wake the baby she had in her arms or the baby Declan was holding. "I'd like you to meet, Peyton Margaret McDonough and Lillian Alexandra McDonough."

"There so tiny," Brice commented, I had lifted him into my arms so that he would have a better view. He was the first of us to speak after the 'aw's' and the 'they're so adorable' died down. However he was right, they could probably fit in the palms of my hands. I slipped my free arm around Amanda and pulled her close, knowing that in a few months that would be us.

**AN: Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter, please feel free to comment. I love to hear suggestions of any kind they're always welcome! Happy holidays everyone, I'll try my best to update one last time before the year is over. If I don't get the chance though, I wish you all the best of luck in the New Year! **


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 49

People from the Past

"I'm Only Human"- the Human league

Kyle (POV)

"Dr. Trager?" One of my inters Dr. Lee finally spoke up after a few moments of hovering behind me as I assisted Dr. Fords in closing up the patient, currently on the operating table.

"What can I do for you Dr. Lee?" I asked remaining focused on the sutures I was conducting.

"Um Chief Stone," She spoke nervously. "He wants to see you in his office."

"Did he happen to say what it was about?" Dr. Fords beat me to asking.

"No, sir, just that he would like to see Dr. Trager." She spoke quickly and her heart rate increased. This was something that I had grown used to of Dr. Lee. She was always worried that she would make a mistake.

"Tell him we're just finishing up and that I'll be there once we've scrubbed out." I ordered and Dr. Lee scurried out of the O.R.

"Interns," He chuckled. "Always so squirrely."

"She's just nervous." I commented, finishing my last suture.

"Yeah, well once again Dr. Trager it was wonderful working with you this morning. It looks like we're all done here." He said and I followed him to scrub out.

"What do you think Chief Stone wants?" I contemplated as I dried my hands off.

"Probably wants to fire you," He said blatantly and followed with a laugh. "Don't worry so much, you're his golden boy."

"Thanks," I sighed, "We're still scheduled for the craniotomy tomorrow, right?"

"That was canceled; patient went on life support this morning. It's too risky." He said with a heavy sigh as we left the O.R.

"Well if it isn't the wonder twins." Dr. Robins had been teasing us with that nick name since we spent 16 hours in the O.R. repairing a guy's spine when he came in unconscious after a climbing accident last week.

"How are you doing Dr. Robins?" I asked with a smile as I rested my knuckles on the surface of the nurse's desk.

"I am fabulous as long as _you_ don't get pulled into surgery this afternoon." She was referring to not missing Amanda's doctor's appointment.

"Don't worry I promised my wife I would be there, 3 o'clock sharp." I assured.

"You cut it close last time." She reminded me in a scolding tone.

"Give the guy a break Robins," Dr. Fords chimed in with a chuckle.

"I have to go see Chief Stone," I said. "I'll see you at three."

They nodded and mumbled a 'see you later' before I turned to leave. I strolled down the hall and across the cross walk to the Chief's office in the south wing of the hospital.

"Hello, Cindy." I greeted, "Dr. Lee said the Chief wanted to see me."

"Oh! Yes go right in, darling," She smiled kindly.

"Good morning Chief," I greeted as I shuck his hand.

"Please Dr. Trager have a seat." He replied, taking his own seat at his desk.

"What, ah, did you need to see me about sir?" I questioned, calmly.

"Kyle," He used my first name, that usually wasn't a good sign. "We have a patient in the oncology unit requesting to see you. She's claiming to be your mother."

"What- What is her name, sir?" I stumbled on my words slightly. What would Nicole be doing in the oncology unit?

"She has stage four liver cancers-"

"Sir what is her _name_?" I asked again with a hint of sternness.

He scanned the patient file, "Grace Kingsley, the different last name struck me as odd."

I sat back for a moment; part of me always knew that this would happen. Not under these circumstances but I knew that one day I would have to meet her. But why come to my work place it was too direct for it to be a scheme of Latnok's.

"Grace Kingsley is my biological mother. I was adopted at a young age." I spun the story a little.

"Kyle, you don't have to meet this woman if you don't want to. We can- we can take care of this for you." He was a little taken back. Me being adopted had never come up in conversation.

"Let me sort things out, before I make a decision." I said after a long moment of deliberation.

"I understand," He paused and glanced over the file again. "Do you want to know her diagnoses?"

I thought about it for a second. Legally he was allowed to tell me since we were technically related; however it was an invasion of privacy. Then again she isn't one who seems to understand privacy.

"You said she has stage four liver cancer," I said and he nodded. "What's the chance of survival?"

"She was diagnosed a year ago, only around 3.5% of-"

"Make it to their fifth year." I finished, already knowing the statistic myself.

"I'm sorry Kyle; you can take the rest of the day off. If you decide to see her she's in room 204."

I nodded not really processing what he was saying but mumbled a thank you before leaving. I quickly changed out of my scrubs and made my way out of the hospital and to my car in a zombie state. I sat in the front seat without starting the car. I rested my head back on the head rest and thought about what Chief Stone had just informed me of. Grace Kingsley was in the hospital and wanted to see me and was dying of liver cancer. I thought back to a conversation I had had with Nathan just after Christmas.

**FLASHBACK**

It was late in the evening, Brice was tucked in bed, Amanda was finishing some work in her office and Nathan and I were hunkered down in my office of our new home. We were caught up in talking about Latnok and Grace Kingsley and all of the topics that stemmed from there. I had given him one of Adam's journals recently and he was astonished. I had yet to give him the notes that had been recorded of him.

"Do you ever think the day will come that we will meet Grace?" He asked, lounging on one of the two brown leather chairs that faced my oak desk that I was seated at. On the wall behind me and to the left of me we had installed floor to ceiling bookshelves.

"Are you asking if I _want_ to?" I clarified as I sat up a little in my chair.

He nodded and I thought about it for a moment. I glanced at the pictures Amanda had framed. There was one of her, Brice and me and the other a copy of the first ultrasound of the baby, that were place on my desk. I pondered over the love that I already felt for this child that wasn't even close to being born yet, purely, because the baby was a part of Amanda and me and because it was a living person, a child. I wondered if Grace had ever had those feeling or thoughts about Nathan or me, or if she just saw us in a scientific way.

"I don't know, Nathan. I've always been the one to give people the benefit of the doubt but with Grace, I'm not sure I can." I sighed. "She would have to earn a lot of respect."

"That's understandable. I've just been having a hard time comprehending how someone _so_ cold could even exist." He had been getting a better understanding of Grace from Adam's journals.

"How was it that Adam described her," I recalled. "A stone hearted genus of a lady." I chuckled.

"That's how our _father_ described our _mother_, that- that has to say something." He added with a laugh of his own.

"It's a mystery how Latnok thought to use Grace as our mother. However with Adam we know why, he was the creator of the experiment as well as the result of an experiment himself." I thought out loud for a moment.

"I was actually having a similar conversation with Nicole and she pointed out to me that if Grace hadn't made her contribution to the experiment than you and I probably would be a part of each other's lives let alone brothers. If it wasn't for her reopening the experiment, well, I may not even be here." What he was saying made sense, even if I didn't want to acknowledge that she had been capable of doing _some_ good.

"That's true," I mumbled as I glanced out the windows into the darkness and watched as the snow collected on the window sill. "We should probably get to bed though, it's getting late."

He nodded and we evaded the office and ended our conversation for the night.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

But why just me? Why didn't she want to see Nathan too? Or was seeing me just a way for her to get to Nathan? Nathan was her project and I was Adam's, and as far as I knew, she considered Nathan a success. I needed to think through whether I was going to see Grace or not. If I went straight to Foss he would say it was a bad idea and not want me to see her. However, I have to admit that there is a small part of me who wants to see what she has to say. I decided to call the one person who would be rational about this situation.

"Hey," I said once I heard the line pick up.

"_Hey Kyle,"_ It was Jessi on the other end. _"I thought you were at work."_

"I was given the rest of the day off." I mumbled a little into the phone.

"_Is something wrong?"_ She must have heard something in my voice.

"Is there any way we can meet?" I asked hoping she would have some free time.

"_Yeah, I have some time. Kyle what's wrong?"_ She asked again sounding even more concerned.

"I'll explain when I see you, everything's fine." I tried my best to sound encouraging. "I'll meet you at the usual place."

She agreed and I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading toward the highway. After 27 minutes of driving I came to the exit that led to rout twelve. I parked the car three spaces away from the front entrance of the dinner. I strode in and sat down at the booth with the red leather seats and the carvings on the table. A young waitress couldn't have been more than 17 came over and took my drink order and left saying she would be back in a moment. Before she had the chance to come back Jessi's car appeared in the parking lot. I watched through the window as she got out and made her way inside.

Jessi had moved back to Washington, she didn't live in Seattle but she still lived close enough for easy contact. This dinner was a midpoint between Seattle and the small town she lived in. The communication between us had been strained for years however in the last year we've been working on it. Now, with some time to mature, our feelings for one another have become that of caring siblings or long childhood friends. She had Elliot and I had Amanda, we were happy.

"What's the problem?" She got straight to the point as she joined me at the table.

"Grace Kingsley." I said flatly, staring aimlessly at my hands on the table.

"What about her?" She asked calmly. I could feel her eyes barring into me with concern.

"She's at the hospital," I said.

"Kyle, I know we usually can figure out each other's encrypted messages but I having a really hard time here." She admitted.

Before I had a chance to elaborate the waitress, whose name tag said Lora, came back with my water. She asked for our lunch orders and we turned her away.

"Grace has been admitted to the hospital, she's undergoing treatment for stage four liver cancer." I explained as I peered into my glass of water. "She wants to meet me."

Jessi was quiet for a moment. Her mouth opened slightly then closed, at a loss for words.

"What- What are you going to do?"

"I don't know…" I muttered, sitting back in the booth running my hand through my hair.

"Do you think Latnok is behind this?" She asked.

"It's too direct to be Latnok." I thought out loud. "She's dying."

"You think it's a mother's last attempt to reach out?" She analyzed.

"I have no idea," I sighed. "But even if it is, why would she expect me to agree to meet her? After everything she's done."

"Maybe because she knows you're the kind of person who will do anything for someone." Jessi explained. How could I deny a dying persons request?

We talked for a little while longer before I noticed the time. I left the waitress a tip on the table even though we didn't order anything, I felt bad for using the booth without her receiving anything to gain.

"Let me know what you end up doing." Jessi said as she got into her little gun metal grey car.

I nodded and she drove off. It was 2:20 and I had to get to the hospital to make it back in time for the appointment. I made the drive back and pulled into the parking lot at 2:48, I had twelve minutes to spare.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." I said, kissing Amanda on the cheek as I took the empty seat next to her in the waiting room of Dr. Robin's office. "When did you get here?"

"About ten minutes ago." She said calmly as she closed the magazine she was looking at. "Where were you?" She asked taking note that I wasn't wearing my scrubs.

"I had coffee with Jessi." I didn't see a point in lying about that.

"Is everything okay?" She whispered. There were two other couples in the waiting room with us and two other young girls.

"Everything's fine." I smiled as I took her hand and squeezed it gently. This wasn't the place to talk about Grace.

"Amanda Trager?" One of the nurses, Jenny, called and she showed us to an exam room.

She took Amanda's weight and blood pressure and asked general questions. She also had Amanda change into a gown so that the exam would be easier for Dr. Robins.

"What's really going on?" She asked once we were alone in the room.

She was sitting perched on the exam table with her legs dangling off the edge.

"Grace Kingsley reached out to me." I admitted as I stepped closer to her side and placed one hand on the small of her back and the other rested on her hands folded over her stomach.

"How?" She didn't look at me.

"She's on the third floor, she's a patient." I clarified. "She has stage four liver cancer and she requested to see me."

"Requested to see you?" Amanda was able to say however I was unable to answer because Dr. Robins was knocking at the door.

"Well hello!" She greeted. "How are you feeling today, Amanda?"

"I'm good." She answered swiftly as if our previous conversation never happened. "I'll be happy to know if we're having a boy or girl."

"And you're both sure you want to know?" She double checked as she paused to listen to Amanda's heart.

"Well since Kyle will be able to tell by the ultrasound, I figured I might as well know too." Amanda rationalized.

"Hopefully we'll be able to get a clear enough image." Dr. Robins acknowledged as she prepared the ultra sound machine.

"Like always, this will be a little cold." She warned as she squeezed the gel onto Amanda's very round stomach that had been growing larger these last few months.

She wove the wand around trying to get a good image. The sound of the baby's heart beat was intensified. I watched as Amanda's grin grew larger, it happened every time we were able to hear the baby's heart beat. I laced my fingers with hers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"You're sure you want to know?" She double checked with a sly grin.

Amanda just nodded eagerly.

"Okay," She turned the monitor to us. "Congratulations, you're having a little girl."

"A girl," I grinned even wider.

"A little girl!" She beamed.

My eyes diverted back to the ultrasound as I saw the baby's arms squirming about. I had so much love for this child that wasn't even born yet. This little girl already had claimed a huge space in my heart. She is my daughter, my little girl. She is a part of me and a part of Amanda, our child.

"It looks like you're on track with being around five and a half months along." Dr. Robins explained. "She looks healthy, you're at a normal weight everything looks good. Do you have any concerns?"

"I'm still dealing with some morning sickness but other than that everything is fine." Amanda answered as Dr. Robins cleaned off the gel from Amanda's stomach.

"I'll have one of the nurses get you something for the nausea and you can pick up the copies of the ultrasound when you schedule your next appointment at the front desk." She instructed. "Everything looks great though."

Dr. Robins gave us a minute for Amanda to change back into her regular clothes.

"We're having a girl," Amanda smiled as I helped her off of the table.

"It's amazing." I smiled. "I have to get started on the nursery soon."

"That's right," She agreed as she slipped back into her normal clothes.

We were quiet for a moment and I knew she wanted to go back to our conversation we were having about Grace.

"What are you going to do about Grace?" She finally asked once she had slipped her shoes on.

"She's dying," I sighed. "I think…I think I should at least talk to her."

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" She asked as she placed her hand on my chest stepping closer to me.

"I honestly don't think Latnok is behind this one. I think it's just her trying to reach out." I said resting my hands on the small of her back. "I want you to pick the boys up from school and I'll meet you at my parent's house like we planned."

We were meeting everyone at Stephen and Nicole's for family dinner and to reveal the sex of the baby. I didn't want to ruin that for her.

"I'll meet you at the house." I said.

"Are you sure this is safe?" She asked as she cupped my cheek in her hand.

"Yeah, I'll meet you at my parents. I won't be long; I just want to see what she wants." I assured her.

"Okay," She nodded, her heart rate was slightly elevated and I could tell she was nervous.

"I'll be fine." I smiled.

We left the exam room and she scheduled our next appointment. I walked her out to the car and again assured her that I would be okay. I watched her drive away before I walked back into the hospital.

I paused outside Grace's door; my hand hovered on the handle. I had read her chart and there was no doubt that she was dying. It was only a matter of days at this point. I had a mental battle with myself before I finally opened the door.

"I didn't think you were coming." Her voice was frail and the way she looked was even worse. Her hair had fallen out, I assumed from the chemo treatment, and her bones were very prominent. She couldn't weigh more than a hundred pounds.

"I'm here now." I said, standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed.

"You look just like Adam." She finally said after a moment of silence. "Nathan…He took on most of Adam's qualities as well."

I nodded not really knowing what to say.

"Grace, I really don't know what you expect me to say." I admitted.

"I don't expect you to say anything Kyle." She replied. "I just wanted to apologize."

Again I didn't say anything; I just waited for her to continue.

"I know that I can't make up for everything Latnok has put you and your family through, however I still want to say that I'm sorry."

"Are you asking for my forgiveness?" I asked.

She shook her head very slowly and weakly. "No, I know my apology doesn't mean much but I had to say it."

"Grace, I know that you're dying, and I know it's from liver cancer." I said. "I also know that the cancer is from years of alcohol abuse."

"I spent a lifetime trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by working with Latnok. Alcohol was the only way I could." She replied with an attempt to smile.

"It was your outlet." I nodded.

"There is another reason I wanted to see you." She confessed. "In my bag over there, there is an external hard drive, that I want you to have."

I hesitantly picked up her black leather bag and retrieved the external hard drive.

"You may not like what you find, but I think you… deserve to know what is bound to come."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Kyle, you're body is… ultimately going to… fail itself." She elaborated, "Like Adam's did."

It was what I had feared for months. For someone to actually confirm it was entirely different.

"Grace, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from when I say this but how do I know I can trust you?" I felt guilty having to voice my concerns.

"Have you had any nose bleeds?" She countered.

I stayed quiet.

"When Adam first began… the experiment it was a problem… he had, that was until you of course." She paused taking a long deep breath; I noticed her pulse ox had dropped. "Every time he attempted to extract the sub- the child,"

"The child died." I finished.

"There were…two cases when the….child lived for…a few days." She paused and took a breath every few words. "In both cases…the child… experienced… system failure… that started…with nose bleeds."

She closed her eyes focusing hard on her breathing. She drew each breath in deeper than the one before. Each one more labored than the last. Here she was the woman who I was led to believe was calling all the shots at Latnok in such a vulnerable state. Over the years there has always been a part of me that has feared her and what she was capable of. But now she's feeble and the part of me that feared her now feels sorry for her. I couldn't help but feel guilty that she was here dying and alone. I felt responsible for that. For what I did to Cassidy, to her son.

I moved one of the chairs to her bed side and took a seat. In every sense of the word she wasn't my mother, however she was biologically related to me. The least I could do was sit with her until she fell asleep.

**AN: Hey everyone! I know it's been an extremely long time since I've updated *cough* almost _two months_ *cough* and I could spew lame excuses but the fact of the matter is I haven't had time. Hopefully the fact that this chapter is close to _4,000_ words makes up for the long wait. I know I ask this at the end of every authors note and get very few responses; however I'm still going to ask. What did everyone think? Any thoughts on Grace? Or on the baby being a girl? Please leave a comment and I'll be happy to reply! Thanks as always for reading and I hope you liked it! **


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 50

Bumps in the Road

"Skinny Love"- Bon Iver

Kyle (POV)

I had been working on restoring Amanda's wooden bassinette that her father had hand- crafted for her when she was a baby. When I went to pick up Brice from Carol's house on Monday evening she had shown me the bassinette and asked if I would be interested in fixing it up. She felt that Amanda would greatly appreciate the sentimental value the bassinette held.

After work I headed over to Stephen and Nicole's house to work on the bassinette. Their garage was the only place I could be sure Amanda wouldn't stumble upon what I was working on. Stephen had said I was welcome to any on the tools in the garage. The original white coat of paint had begun to chip and the pinewood had a few nicks that would need to be smoothed out.

As I worked I thought of all the information I had acquired from the hard-drive Grace had given me. It had almost been a month since she died and I still had yet to tell anyone about the information. It took me a while to convince myself to look at the documents on the hard drive. I finally brought myself to look it over early last week. According to the information, I was dying.

"How's it coming?" It was Stephen who spoke after making his way to the garage.

"Good," I smiled as I brushed off the bits of dust from my blue plaid shirt. "I'm almost done sanding off the paint."

"Well it looks great. Amanda's dad made this?" he said as he ran his finger along the floral design that had been carved into the wood. "I knew that he was creative but this must have taken him some time."

"Carol said he started working on it the day they found out they were having a girl," I provided as I filled the nicks in the wood.

"Are you nervous about having a girl?" he asked.

I turned away from my project and leaned against the workbench.

"Should I be?" I questioned with a slight smile.

"She'll definitely drive you crazy, however you'll be wrapped around her finger from the minute you hold her in your arms," he warned with a chuckle in his tone.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"When Lori was born I was…Well, I was afraid that I'd screw up as a dad. I didn't want to let her down; I didn't want to let Nicole down. But once I held her and she calmed down and I looked into her bright green eyes, I knew everything would work out," he explained, taking a seat on a stack of old milk crates.

"I feel like with Brice it's been easy, he's my buddy," I shrugged. "To be honest though I don't really know how to handle a little girl."

"It's really a learning process," he said, "you'll be fine."

I wondered for how long of that learning process would I be around for. Would I be able to see my kids grow up? Would I be able to see my little girl's first steps, hear her first words? Would I live long enough to see Brice play on a peewee basketball league? Teach them how to drive, see them graduate from high school and college? See them get married? Walk my little girl down the aisle?

"You alright Kyle?" he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I clenched my jaw slightly, having a mental battle with myself on whether or not I should tell him what was on my mind.

"Kyle?" he could see the concern in my face.

"When I went and saw Grace before she died, she gave me some information that was kept on the experiments," I explained.

"Well what did you find out?" He stood up and immediately seemed more concerned.

I explained to him about the nosebleeds that I had been experiencing these last few months. I also told him about the two successful children that died a few days after being extracted from the pod. I let him know about the system failure that Adam had begun to show signs of when I was staying with him.

"You and Jessi have to be working on a plan," he panicked a little. "You're going to be fine Kyle, you Jess and Nate will find a way to fix this, you'll be fine."

"Jessi and Nathan don't know, no one does. Well besides you," I mumbled, fixing my eyes on old oil stain on the garage floor.

"You haven't told anyone?" he asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

I shook my head.

"Kyle, why haven't you told anyone? You shouldn't have to go through this by yourself," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"How am I supposed to tell my family that I'm dying? How am I supposed to tell my wife that I might not be around to raise our kids with her?" My voice faltered slightly.

He just pulled me into a hug. I felt like I was 16 again and I was upset about not knowing about my past. Stephen has always been the father figure in my life. He's my dad. Being a father myself I could only imagine what he was thinking. One of his kids was sick.

"You're going to be okay, Kyle," he said, pulling away and resting his hand on my shoulder. "But you have to tell everyone."

"I just need some time…" I mumbled as I nodded. "Please don't tell Mom."

He sighed not liking the idea of keeping something from Nicole. He agreed though understanding I should be the one to tell her.

"So how can I help you finish this?" he asked.

I smile, I was thankful he changed the subject. "The edges could use a little more sanding," I said.

"Just hand me some paper." He smiled, however I saw the glint of pity in his eyes. That's exactly what I didn't want but I shrugged it off.

We were able to finish fixing up the bassinette and layer on two coats of fresh white paint. I made sure it was completely dry before I placed the new bed cushion that Carol had sewn. She had picked a dark blue fabric that she felt would look great with the white paint of the bassinette.

"It looks great you guys!" Nicole praised as she snuck up behind us with Brice.

"Hey honey, you guys just get back?" Stephen asked. They broke off in their own little conversation.

"What do you think buddy?" I asked as I plucked him up to have a better look. "Think your little sister will like sleeping in this?"

"It's kinda small," he commented.

"Well it's not her permanent bed. She'll have a crib in her own room, this is just for the first couple of weeks when she'll sleep in our room," I explained.

"It really does look great Kyle," Nicole commented again. "How has the nursery been coming along?"

"I finished painting it last weekend," I said as I set Brice down on the workbench.

"It's sandy tan, and Dad painted on giraffes and monkeys and a lion!" Brice was really excited.

"So are you ready to be a big brother, Bri?" Stephen asked as he ruffled Brice's hair.

"Uh huh," he grinned.

"Did you tell Nana and Grandpa what you want to name her?" I chuckled.

"Gertrude," he answered.

"Gertrude, really? For a baby?"

Nicole and I shared a knowing glance. I shook my head once and she had a look of relief and I smiled.

"And what have you and Amanda come up with?" Stephen asked.

"We have a few ideas but we're still deciding." I shrugged. "We should get going though buddy, it's getting late and you have to take a bath before bed."

Nicole said her goodbyes and escaped back into the house. Stephen walked with us to the Jeep and got Brice in his car seat while I loaded the bassinette into the back.

"Kyle," he stopped me before I opened the front door. "Remember what we talked about."

I nodded and climbed into the car. The whole car ride home Brice talked about his day at school and going to the grocery store with Nicole. When we pulled up to the house I had Brice go inside first and distract Amanda while I got the bassinette out of the car.

"Amanda!" I called out as I walked through the front door.

"In the kitchen!" she called back.

I found my way into the kitchen and set the bassinette on the counter top and waited for her to turn away from the salad she was fixing.

"So how were your-" she stopped mid sentence. "Is that?"

"Your mom asked me to clean it up, but yeah, it's the same bassinette your dad made for you," I explained slipping my hands into my jean pockets.

"Kyle, oh my god!" She brought her hand to her mouth and tears pooled in her eyes.

"No, no don't cry." I quickly moved over to her and engulfed her in a hug.

"These are happy tears." She mumbled. "Its beautiful, really, I love it."

She dipped out of my arms and over to the bassinette. I watched as she ran her fingers over the carvings. Her were eyes still slightly glossy.

"I had completely forgotten about this," she whispered.

"Hey Bri, why don't you go get Nathan and get washed up for dinner?" I suggested and he scurried off.

"So you really like it?" I asked as I slipped my arms back around her.

"Yes, I do. Thank you so much Kyle." She craned her neck and gave me a kiss. "By the way the all the furniture for the nursery was delivered today."

"It did? How does it look?" I asked as I grabbed the dinner plates and began setting the table.

"Well that's the thing…it's not put together yet," she nibbled her lower lip, helping me set the table.

"I know what I'm doing with my weekend off," I smiled.

"You know I love you," she laughed.

The boys joined us for dinner and we all caught up on the events of each other's day. Once everyone was finished Nathan and I cleaned up the table and began washing the dishes. Amanda took Brice upstairs and gave him a bath and got him ready for bed. As Nathan dried off the dishes I noticed that he was moving a little stiff.

"You and Foss increase your training regiment?" I asked as I scrubbed one of the dishes.

"Yeah, with the weather being so nice he and I have been training a lot out on the trials near Victor Falls."

"Just remember to take it easy a little, give your body a chance to heal," I warned him, handing him the last plate.

He nodded and dried off the plate before he grabbed his cup from dinner and filled it with milk, than he grabbed two chocolate chip cookies off of the plate from the counter.

"I'm just going to work on the bike," he explained as he ducked into the hall that led to the garage.

"Have fun!" I called after him. He and Foss had come across an old motorcycle that someone tried to dump at the warehouse. Foss and I agreed that if he took the time to repair the bike than Foss would teach him how to ride.

I stood at the counter and rested my hands on the edge. My eyes focused on the bassinette still sitting on the counter top. I let myself imagine waking up at four in the morning to check on our little girl that would be here in a few months. I tried my best to picture what she would look like, Amanda's blond hair with a slight curl to it. I thought of a few years down the road when she and Brice were a little bit older. I knew that Brice would be a protective older brother. No one would be able to hurt her.

I heard Amanda's footsteps patter down the stairs and soon she appeared before me in the kitchen.

"Hey beautiful," I smirked. "How about we go for a walk?"

"That sounds nice." She smiled, however I knew she was skeptical.

I poked my head into the garage and let Nathan know we were going for a walk and asked him to keep an eye on Brice.

It was fairly warm out still; there was a nice breeze. We strolled hand in hand down to the shoreline in a comfortable silence. We sat down on the rocks that since we had move in had become our little spot. She sat between my legs and I wrapped my arms around her and rested my hands on her stomach.

"Have you thought of anymore names?" I whispered and she leaned her head back on my chest.

"I did," I could hear the smile in her voice. "What do you think about Kasey?"

"Kasey?" I repeated, "I don't know about that."

"Okay, how about Brook?" She suggested.

I crinkled my nose.

"Alright well what about you? What have you come up with?" she laughed.

"Madelyn?" I proposed

"I don't think so…" she said gently.

I was quiet for a moment thinking about various names. I wanted to pick a name that was had class however wasn't too old fashion. I ran through all the names I had came across over the years.

"What about Sophia?" I finally said.

"Sophia?" she questioned. "Why Sophia?"

"I'm not sure, I just like it for a little girl," I shrugged.

"Little baby Sophia," she tested the name out. "I like it."

"Did we just agree on a name?" I asked with a chuckle.

"I think we did," she said and kissed my cheek. "Now we just have to come up with a middle name."

"It's taken us this long to agree on a first name," I groaned.

She just giggled and laced her fingers with mine resting them on her stomach. The closer and closer it got to her due date the more real it felt. We were really going to have another kid, a little girl. Now she has a name and it just adds to the feeling. The conversation I had with Stephen earlier this afternoon replayed in my mind and it wasn't fair of me to continue to hide this from Amanda.

"Amanda, there's something that we need to talk about." I started, lamely. "I haven't wanted to tell you because I don't want to stress you or the baby out-"

"Kyle what is it?" she said, cutting off my rambling.

"Before Grace died she gave me a hard drive, and on there was a lot of information on the experiments." I paused and continued to tell her everything that I had told Stephen earlier this afternoon.

"You're…dying?" Her voice was just above a whisper. "You can't be,"

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled.

She was quiet possessing everything I had told her. I know if the roles were reversed I would be devastated. She's my wife, the love of my life, and mother of my kids. She's everything to me.

"What about the formula?" She asked. "It helped Nicole."

"When I tell Foss, Christopher and Jessi, it's one of the things we're going to look into. I've already started looking into options." I explained trying to reassure her the best I could.

"How is your body failing you, though?" she asked, trying to straighten it out in her head.

"My mind is expanding and so are my abilities however the rest of my body is having a hard time keeping up with everything," I elaborated. "Everything will work out though, I'm going to be fine."

"I can't lose you Kyle," she finally spoke.

"You won't, I'm not going anywhere," I assured her, tightening my arms around her. "I'm not going anywhere."

**AN: Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoyed this new chapter. I know it was kind of short compared to my other chapters. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 51

Loss for Words

"Run Away"- Blue Hamilton

Kyle (POV)

Beads of sweat trickled down my brow as my feet pulsed on the conveyer belt of the treadmill. Foss stood at my side analyzing the data that streamed across the three monitors we had set up.

"Increasing incline and speed, five percent," he noted as the intensity picked up and I acclimated.

Another increase like that and the treadmill would be maxed out. I ran for thirty minutes at that pace until Foss picked up the incline and speed again. I continued on for another hour before Foss began decreasing the intensity until I came to a stop. He handed me a bottle of water and towel, I blotted my face off and took a swig of the water.

"How does it look?" I asked, peeling off the electrodes that had been stuck to my bare chest to monitor my heart.

"You're heart is consistent with what it was last week," he mumbled, plugging in the new set of data to the catalog of data he kept. "This time last year your performance was on an upward curve, now its hit a Plato."

"At least it's not decreasing," I sighed, trying my best to stay positive. "Did the blood result that we had Jessi run come back?"

"Your white blood cell count was slightly elevated, which in a normal person would be explained by something like seasonal allergies, however with you-"

"It means that my immune system is declining," I sighed. "By how much was it elevated?" I pondered as I tugged on one of my old Dartmouth T-shirts.

He swiveled around in his chair to the table behind him covered in stacks of papers and books.

"Uhm .0002%." He rattled off.

I sighed again and ran my hand through my hair as I slumped down on one of the chairs.

"Look, Kyle, this is good, all things considered," he said, getting up from his seat. "When Adam was going through this, his levels were dropping way faster than yours currently are. Now, have you been able to replicate the formula?"

"Jessi and I are working on trying to get the right balance of electrolytes without offsetting something else," I explained, "We're close though."

He nodded riffling through the piles of books and papers.

"Well I should head out; I promised Amanda that I would set up the furniture in the nursery today," I said as I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the doors.

"Kyle!" he called out.

"Yeah," I called over my shoulder.

"You're, ah...you're going to be okay," he shuffled.

I nodded, "Thanks, Foss." I pushed the door open and made my way to the Jeep.

The drive home was fairly fast. I pulled into the garage and before I made it into the house I grabbed the tool kit from the work area where Nathan had his motorcycle parts spread out. I smiled; the motorcycle was really coming along. I made my way through the downstairs and up to the nursery.

All the boxes were randomly placed through out the room. I looked at all the labels on the boxes in search of the crib specifically. I tore open the box, once I came across it, and laid out all the parts. The crib was a dark stained wood that was very straight lined. I quickly glanced over the instruction booklet and gathered the tools that I would need.

I was halfway through assembling the crib when I heard Amanda and the boys walk in. I glanced at my watch; it was three in the afternoon already this furniture was taking a little longer to assemble than I had expected.

"Kyle!" I heard Amanda call out as she climbed up the stairs. "Kyle?"

"In here!" I called back, half mumbling as I held a screw between my teeth.

"Oh! You're putting the crib together!" she beamed.

"Yep, I think I may have to recruit Nate's help, though, this is taking longer than I thought it would," I mumbled as I got up from the floor and screwed in a few nuts.

Before either of us could say anymore I heard Nathan making his way up the stairs.

"And there's my guy," I laughed, knowing he had overheard my conversation with Amanda.

"Just remember the family is coming over at seven," she reminded us. "I'm going to finish up some work than I'll start dinner, Kyle you're in charge of the grill."

"I'm all over it," I chuckled before she disappeared back downstairs.

What I loved about Amanda was that since I had told her about my body showing signs of failure, she didn't give me that look of pity. She would have her moments were her thoughts of 'what if?' would get the best of her, however she didn't let that cloud how she saw me. I was still Kyle, her husband; I wasn't someone with death marked on their forehead.

"How can I help?" Nathan asked, looking around the room at all the boxes.

"I need you to hold the side of the crib to keep it steady while I tighten the screws," I instructed as I maneuvered around the crib. "There, now that, that's all set we can start on the changing table."

We worked our way through assembling all the furniture and adjusting where to place it in the room. Once we finally had a layout that we felt was the best, I went downstairs to get Amanda. I led her back up to the nursery.

"Alright," I mumbled, from behind her. "What do you think?"

She glanced around, taking in the whole room all put together. The crib was up against the wall that shared a door to connecting bathroom. I had hung wooden letters that spelled out 'Sophia' above the crib. The changing table was on the opposing wall along with the rocking chair we had picked out, tucked in the corner. The tan and brown rug with monkeys printed on it was rolled out on the center of the wood floor.

"Its perfect," she whispered, tears were in her eyes. "We're really doing this."

"Having another baby?" I questioned as I stepped closer to her.

She nodded. "This just makes it all feel…real?" she tried her best to explain.

"I completely understand," I smiled, pulling her into my arms. "Just think, in less than a month, she'll be here."

"I can't wait," she whispered into my chest.

I was able to take a quick shower and get cleaned off before; Declan, Lori and their girls arrived. Declan joined me on grill duty while Brice and Nathan played catch in the back yard.

"Nate seems to be fitting into this dysfunctional family well," Declan joked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, I guess he is," I chuckled, "Brice idolizes him, it's kind of cute. How has everything with the girls been?"

"They're awesome, Lily is working on crawling and Peyton isn't far behind," he boasted. "We're going to have to find a bigger place soon. The girls things are flooding the apartment."

"Have you guys looked into anything?" I asked, turning a few of the chicken and shuffling the vegetables.

"Lori has kept an eye out, she's found a couple places online," he shrugged.

I could hear Josh's car followed by Stephen's car pulling into the driveway and within a couple of minutes I heard four sets of footsteps make their way through the front door.

"Why don't you guys look at the condos that are being built by the hospital?" I suggested as a shifted the food that was done onto a plate.

"There's new condos by the hospital?" he probed, his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"You haven't seen them?" I asked. "The development is right off of Hudson Street. You've been working at the hospital for four months now and you haven't seen them?"

"I guess I never noticed," he laughed.

"You guys should take a look at them," I chuckled. "Well these look like their done."

I handed Declan the plate of vegetables and I took in the chicken. I called out to the boys as I followed behind Declan back into the house. Since it was such a nice day I kept the glass doors open to let the fresh air in. I set the plate of chicken down on the table amongst the place settings and the other food Lori had help Amanda prepare. Everyone was making small talk as we fell into our places at the table.

"Hey Kyle, you think you'd be able to take a look at the breaks on my car this weekend?" Josh asked me as he passed the bowl of salad on to Andy.

"I can do that, didn't we just put new ones on though?" I was a little confused; those breaks shouldn't be giving him trouble already.

"I think you guys have put all the band aids you can on that car," Andy piped in, "I think its time for Josh to say goodbye and get a new one."

"I love that car, why would I get rid of it?" You could hear he was slightly offended, from his tone.

"The car is 15 years old, Josh, it's seen its better days," Lori chimed in at this point.

"Its my baby," he mumbled.

The conversation rolled from there to work, school, the twins, and various other topics. It wasn't until we had finished desert that I began to feel nervous. The weight of the real reason for a family dinner began to feel heavier on my shoulders. I glanced around the table as everyone laughed and carried on with a trivial conversation. I was seated at the head of the table with Stephen seated at the opposite end from me. Amanda was seated at my right and Nathan was at my left. The only ones that new about what I was going to reveal to everyone tonight were Amanda, Stephen and Nathan.

Earlier in the day I had asked Nathan if he would keep Brice occupied. I didn't want him to know just yet, at this point there was no need to worry him with the possibility of death. Nathan took Brice outside to play basketball in the driveway that usually kept him busy for a few hours.

I shared a knowing glance with Stephen and he nodded every so slightly. I reached for Amanda's hand under the table and gave her a small smile.

"There's a reason why we invited everyone here tonight," I spoke up and the conversation quickly died off and all seven pairs of eyes shifted toward me. "I don't know how else to say this other than to just come straight out and say it… My body is showing signs of failure."

There were 19.4 seconds of pure silence; only the sound of a basketball hitting the pavement and Brice's laughter from outside was audible. It wasn't until Stephen spoke that the silence broke.

"Kyle has been working with Jessi and Foss to figure out a way to combat this," he tried his best to ease the tension.

"You knew about this?" Lori questioned a little too sharply.

"What do you mean, your body is failing you?" Josh's voice faltered slightly.

"We're not sure how exactly but it has to do with… my mind and abilities expanding faster than my organs can keep up with. It was one of the _flaws_ that the scientists at Zzyzx and Latnok thought they had fixed with my experiment by altering the formula, however it wasn't completely fixed until Jessi was created," I explained the best I could, ignoring Lori's accusation.

"How could that be, I thought you were created the same way?" Andy questioned, she had been brought in on the secret a few years ago.

"The scientists made _improvements _to the formula with each experiment," I provided. "There were multiple experiments before mine and Jessi's at Zzyzx."

"So because Jessi was created after you, this won't happen to her or Nate?" Declan wanted to clarify.

I nodded.

"What have you guys been working on with the formula?" Josh piped in, "Can't you just used it like mom did and everything will be fine?"

"That's what we're hoping for, right now we're just working on creating the formula," I explained. "Once we do that I'll start with weekly injections and see if it helps."

I tried my best to keep up with all the questions as they came up. The whole time Nicole never said a word. Eventually it began getting dark out and the boys came back inside. Amanda excused herself and went to get Brice to take a bath. Declan had gotten up to sooth Lily who had started fussing, shortly after Peyton started up as well, Andy offered to help and excused herself.

"Nicole?" Stephen spoke as he shifted toward her taking her hand. "Nicole, you haven't said a word all night."

"I don't… I…" She was at a loss for words in complete shock.

I got up from my chair and slowly made my way to the other end of the table. I crouched down between her and Stephen and placed my hand on her arm.

"Mom, I'm going to be alright," I assured her.

She turned in her chair and palmed my cheek in her hand; I could see the tears in the brims of her blue eyes. She was the strongest woman I knew and I could tell she was fighting against her emotions right now, trying her best not to break.

"Everything is going to be okay," I whispered and I felt Stephen place his hand firmly on my shoulder. Josh and Lori hesitantly made their way over to us and I rose to my feet again. Lori pulled me into one of her famous sisterly hugs.

"You're Kyle, of course you're going to be okay," Josh said trying his best to lighten the mood. "You were born in a pod for Pete's sake."

"Josh," Lori couldn't help but smile as she punched him lightly in the arm.

"What?" he chuckled, "It's true, if anyone can get through this it you Kyle. You saved Andy from cancer this should be a piece of cake."

I saw a smile form on Nicole's face and a chuckle came from Stephen as they both stood from their seats as well.

"Josh is right," I said, resting my one arm on Lori's shoulders and my other arm on Nicole's shoulders. "I'll get through this."

Shortly after all the tears subsided and everyone calmed down. Declan, Andy, Nathan and Amanda rejoined us, we hovered around the living room, no one really knew what to say. Peyton and Lily were sprawled out on a blanket that had been spread out on the floor. I laced my arm around Amanda's waist and kissed her temple.

"Hey look!" Nathan called pointing to the girls, breaking the silence.

Lily was crawling about and Peyton was as well. Everyone laughed and the mood of the room completely shifted. Those little girls were crawling for the first time and Lori and Declan couldn't have looked happier. Declan was crouched on the floor coursing them to him. In one moment those little girls were able to take the awkward petty looks that my family had been giving me and turn those looks into smiles and grins.

I looked down to my side and caught Amanda smiling up at me, 'I love you' she mouthed. I gave her a peck on the lips and whispered the same back.

**AN: Hey everyone! Hope you all like this new chapter! Let me know what you think, questions, comments, thoughts, it's all welcome! Thanks for reading.**


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 52

Our Little Family

"Blue Does"- Blue October

Kyle (POV)

I tossed and turned in my sleep until I gave up and awoke to an empty bed. It was an unusually warm night and I hadn't slept well at all. I glanced at the alarm clock that read 4:17 in the morning. I felt the sheets beside me and found that they were cold and damp.

"Amanda?" I whispered into the darkness of the bedroom.

"In here," she mumbled from the bathroom.

I got up from the bed and stumbled towards her.

"What are you doing?" I yawned as I rubbed my eyes and leaned on the door frame.

"My water broke, I was just getting cleaned up," she said simply as she finished drying off her hair with a towel.

"Your water broke?" I questioned, folding my arms across my chest. "Why aren't we going to the hospital? Why didn't you wake me?"

"My contractions are still far apart, we have time," she shrugged as she passed me and made her way to the closet.

I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. "How far apart exactly?"

"Well the first one came around two just after my water broke. Than there wasn't one until after I had gotten out of the shower, just before you woke up," she explained as she came out of the closet in a pair of yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt.

"I would feel a lot better if we went to the hospital," I said calmly.

"You might want to get dressed first," she joked, causing me to look down at myself. All I had on was a pair of black jogging shorts.

I sighed and snatched a clean pair of dark blue jeans and a gray t-shirt from the dresser. As I dressed, Amanda busied herself by taking the sheets off of the bed and tossing them in the hamper. Then she double-checked what she had packed in her overnight bag for the hospital.

"Did you put the car seat in the car?" she asked as I crept with her down the stairs.

"Yes," I nodded.

"What about the camera?" she asked.

"Its in the bag," I assured her. "I'm just going to let Nathan know we're going to the hospital, than we can go."

I gently knocked on his door before I entered. He was in a deep sleep sprawled out on his bed with the blanket kicked to the end of the bed.

"Nathan," I whispered as I shook his shoulder. "Nate, wake up."

"Hmmm?" he grumbled as he flipped onto his back.

"Amanda's water broke, I'm taking her to the hospital. I'll call you a little later and give you an update."

"Okay, congratulations," he mumbled still half asleep.

I chuckled as I left his room. I made sure to leave the keys to Amanda's car on the counter in the kitchen along with a note.

"Ready to go?" I asked, still amazed by how calm she was.

"Yep!" she smiled as she screwed on the cap to her to-go mug that she had filled with hot tea.

I helped her into the car and tossed her bag in the back seat next to the car seat. As I drove I held one hand on the wheel and the other hand was holding hers.

"Oww," she groaned, sitting forward slightly as she rubbed small soothing circles on her stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked, stroking my thumb across her hand.

"Yeah, just a contraction," she said, sitting back as the pain subsided.

I made a mental note of the time, 5:22. The contractions were still pretty far apart. We pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and I was able to park fairly close. I helped her out of the car and led her into the hospital. Once inside I snagged a wheel chair for her and wheeled her up to the maternity ward. I stopped by the nurse's station and explained to them what was happening.

"Hello, Dr. Trager, you're here early," Nurse Kasey greeted.

"Well, my wife here is having our baby," I smiled

"Oh, Oh!" she squeaked realizing the seriousness of the situation. "Jason, will you get Dr. Trager and Mrs. Trager into a private room?"

He nodded and took over the wheel chair for me and strolled her away to a room around the corner. I stayed behind to fill out a few registration papers.

"Dr. Trager, which doctor should I page for your wife?" Nurse Kasey questioned.

"Dr. Robins," I said peering up from the papers I was filling out.

She nodded. I finished the paper work and handed them too her before I slipped away and down the hall to Amanda's room.

"How are you holding up?" I asked, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"I'm fine," she smiled.

"Amanda, I'm just going to place an IV and start some fluids," Nurse Jason explained as he gathered an IV kit.

"Her veins roll," I warned, knowing all too well how hard of a time it was for her to have her blood drawn. I also knew she didn't like needles so I held her free hand in both of mine.

"Just a pinch," he warned and she winced as the needle pricked her skin. "There you go, all set."

He had already set up all the monitors and made sure she was comfortable before he left the room.

"Do you need anything?" I checked, brushing away a few stray hairs.

"I think I'm just going to rest," she mumbled

I shifted to the empty chair beside her bed and occupied myself by reading a few articles on my phone. An hour passed before she had another contraction. I made note of the time again, 6:37.

"Are you okay?" I asked, sitting forward to rub her back.

"Yeah, yeah just a little worse than the last one," she sighed, leaning back into the bed.

She was able to drift back to sleep once the pain waned away. I went back to looking at articles on my phone. I couldn't help but let my thoughts drift. I thought about how in a few hours Sophia would be here, we would have our first daughter. I smiled to myself, I would not only have a son but after today I would have a daughter too. I leaned my head back onto the headrest and slowly sleep over came me. I awoke a little while later to the sound of Amanda talking with Dr. Robins.

"Well look who decided to join us," Dr. Robins teased as I stretched the sleep out of my muscles. "Amanda it looks like you're only about three centimeters dilated so we do have some time."

I glanced at the clock that hung in every room; it was a little after nine in the morning.

"Your contractions are still a little over an hour apart," she noted in the chart.

"An hour and fifteen minutes," I clarified with a smirk.

"Right," she rolled her eyes at me, knowing all to well how detailed my charts were when I was on her service.

"I should go make the phone calls," I excused myself and found my way down to the nearest waiting area where it was acceptable to make calls.

I first called Nathan and checked in with him. Since today was Saturday he didn't have to go to school however he did have training with Foss. It wasn't a problem for him to bring Brice with him though; Brice seemed pretty keen on the idea of spending the day with Foss and Nathan. I let him know that I would call him when he and Brice should come to the hospital.

The next phone call was to Nicole and Stephen.

"Hello?" Nicole answered.

"Good morning mom," I chuckled. "Amanda and I are at the hospital, her water broke this morning."

I could hear her tell Stephen the news and than telling me they would be there in the next hour. I explained to her that it was going to be a while however she didn't care. After that I called Carol.

"Good morning Carol," I greeted

"Oh hello, Kyle, how are you today?" she asked politely

"I'm great, it looks like Sophia is making her arrival today," I grinned and she did the same thing Nicole had: she immediately told David the news and said they were on their way.

I decided it would be best to wait to call the rest of them considering that Nicole and Carol jumped to come spend the day at the hospital. I knew that we still had at least five hours before Sophia would be here. I didn't want the entire family here to just sit in the waiting room.

"My parents, your mom and David are all on their way," I said as I entered Amanda's room again.

"They do know that it's going to be a while, right?" she inquired.

"Yeah, but you know how they are," I chuckled, sitting down in my chair again. "I stopped by the gift shop and picked up a few magazines."

"Oh really? Let me see!"

We spent a few hours looking at the magazines and watching a little TV. In that time Amanda had four contractions, which meant that they were coming closer together. Still not close enough for concern but closer. Stephen and Nicole arrived first and not long after David and Carol came by. We were able to all reside in the room for a little while until Dr. Robins came back for another check and made the Grandparents evade the room.

"How far are we now?" I asked

"Well, about five centimeters now," she announced.

"So you're about half way there," I explained to Amanda.

"How are you feeling now?" Dr. Robins inquired.

"Just a little uncomfortable," she paused, "The contractions are still manageable though."

"As you know, we can't have the epidural administered until you're seven centimeters," she reminded. "But we're close, so I'd say in the next couple of hours you'll be ready to push."

She left saying she would be back to check again in an hour.

"Ahh!" she groaned, placing her hand on her stomach. "Oooww!"

"Contraction?" I guessed as she squeezed my free hand and nodded vigorously. "Deep breaths,"

"They're getting worse," she moaned.

"Here," I said, motioning her to sit forward as I plopped down behind her and began to rub her back and shoulders.

"That feels good," she sighed, leaning back into me.

It wasn't very long until Dr. Jones the anesthesiologist came by to administer the epidural. By that point I knew it was time to have Nicole call the rest of the family.

"This would be the time when you, Dr. Trager, go get changed into your scrubs," Dr. Robins ordered.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked, making sure her last contraction eased.

She nodded and I left and quickly got changed. I was back just in time for the next contraction. I had given the camera to one of the interns who I knew wasn't allowed to assist in the delivery, only observe.

"Alright, it sure is a beautiful day to deliver a baby, everyone ready?" Dr. Robins announced as she prepared herself for the delivery. "Okay, now Amanda on the next contraction I'm going to need you to push."

Amanda nodded and I stood by her side holding her hand in anticipation for the contraction.

"Here we go. Push!" Dr. Robins ordered. "Keep going, keep going, good."

"You're doing great, Amanda," I encouraged as she fell into me.

"All right Amanda, you have to push again," Dr. Robins harked.

She groaned and grunted through the contraction.

"You're doing fantastic, Amanda, I can see the baby's head," Dr. Robins encouraged. "Alright, just one more, almost there!"

"Aaahhh!" she moaned pushing harder.

"Almost there, Amanda," I cheered.

"I see two beautiful shoulders," Dr. Robins announced. "Just one more push."

After that last push, that was when we heard it, the first cries of Sophia entering the world. She was here; this little child who we had been anticipating for the past nine months was finally here. All the worries of my future didn't matter, what mattered was this little girl. I watched as the nurse swept her off to clean her up.

"You did it!" I was grinning as I kissed her. "You did it! I'm so proud of you!"

"Dad? You want to hold your daughter?" one of the nurses who had cleaned her up asked me.

"Of course," I jumped taking her in my arms.

"Hey there, hey little Sophia," I cooed, soothing her cries as I took her in. She was my daughter, she was part of me and Amanda.

"She's beautiful," Amanda remarked, as I handed her over to her mom. "Hey Sophia,"

I kissed Amanda's temple and gazed down at our daughter. She was indeed beautiful; she had dark brown almost black hair and amazing blue eyes. Amanda looked up at me with a smile and tears in her eyes.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," She replied with a kiss.

After the nurses and doctors were finished and everything was cleaned up, Amanda and I were left to be with Sophia.

"I think we did a pretty great job," I chuckled as I paced around with Sophia in my arms. "You are the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen."

"Looks like someone already has Daddy wrapped around their finger," Amanda teased. "You should go get Brice, I'm sure he's jumping to see his sister."

"Alright," I smiled softly as I handed Sophia back to Amanda. "I'll be right back."

I quietly shut the door on my way out of the room. I stood there for a moment really taking in what had happened I was now a father of two children. When I had gone to bed last night Brice was my only child, however now there is this little girl who is completely reliant on Amanda and myself. I grinned to myself as I strolled to the waiting area, which consisted of my entire family.

"Five pounds four ounces and she's beautiful." If I was grinning before I was beaming now. My family gathered round with several pats on the back and congratulatory hug.

"So what do you say, Brice, want to come see your new sister?" I suggested, crouching down to his level.

"Yeah!" he cheered.

"Then lets go!" I chuckled taking his little hand in mine and leading him to the room. I stopped short just outside the room and knelt down to him. "Now, Bri, you have to be very gentle and quiet with Sophia, okay? She's very delicate."

He nodded.

"Hey sweetie," Amanda greeted softly; I could tell she was pretty worn out. Brice hesitantly made his way over to Amanda.

I plucked him up off of the floor and sat on the edge of the bed with him on my lap. Amanda and I watched as he peered into the bundle of pink blankets that Sophia was swaddled in.

"She's so…_small_" he finally spoke.

"Do you want to hold her?" Amanda asked and he just nodded, trying his best to be calm and quiet.

Amanda eased Sophia over to him and I helped him support her.

"Support her head," I reminded.

"Hi Soph, you've been in Mom's stomach for a pretty long time," he told her and I couldn't help but laugh softly. "Everyone's pretty excited to see you, Soph."

I shared a glance with Amanda; she had tears in her eyes again as she reached out for my hand. This was our family. Her, me, Brice and now Sophia, we were a family. In that moment nothing else mattered but the four of us, our little family.

**AN: Hello everyone! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I don't have much experience with deliveries, other than the story my anatomy teacher retold, to us students, of her own experience. Hopefully though I was able to make it…believable? I guess would be the word. Anyway let me know what your thoughts, comments, suggestions, its all appreciated! Thank you for reading!**


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 53

A Day With Dad

"Holocene"- Bon Iver

Kyle (POV)

I played with my gold wedding band as I hovered over Sophia's crib and watched her as she slept. She would wiggle from time to time, or make a noise every so often. My thoughts wandered back to when I was eighteen and it was Brice's crib that I was hovering over. Now here I am twenty-four years old, married to the love of my life, a wonderful son and a beautiful daughter, and I couldn't be happier.

I knew that my days with my family were numbered, but that didn't mean I wouldn't do everything in my power to keep my body from failing me. Sophia is eight weeks old today, and for the past five weeks I've been doing injections of an altered formula that Jessi and I had created. It was too early to tell if there were any substantial effects, however there hadn't been any further decline in my body's performance.

I sighed softly and bent down to kiss Sophia's forehead, "I love you Soph," I whispered before I left the nursery and crept to my room to join Amanda in bed.

The next morning was Amanda's first day back at work, which meant I began my two weeks off to stay home with Sophia. It was also summer break, so Brice and Nathan were off from school. I woke up early, before anyone else in the house, and went for a run.

I ran down by the shore, there was still that crisp morning feeling in the air as the sun rose and it began to get warmer. I stopped for a moment and looked out over the water. It was completely calm, just the sound of the water hitting the shore. I ran back to the house and was able to shower just as Amanda started to get ready for the day.

I sat down on the edge of the bed as I slipped on my socks after having dried off from my shower. I noticed that my muscles in my legs were tighter than usually. I hadn't increased my work out so it was slightly odd. I would have to remember to tell Foss: he would want to log any changes.

"Good morning," Amanda said as she darted from the bathroom to the closet in just a towel, already running slightly late.

"Morning," I chuckled. "Ready for your first day back?"

"I think so…" she called. "Are you sure you'll be okay with the kids all day?"

"We'll be fine," I said, standing up and leaning in the doorway of the closet.

"Are you sure, because I can call Lori-" she rambled as she clasped her bra.

"We'll be fine, Amanda," I assured, placing both of my hands on her shoulders.

"Okay," she smiled and I leaned down and touched my lips to hers.

As if on cue, Sophia started crying.

"She has perfect timing," she sighed.

"I'll get her, you finish getting ready," I gave her another kiss before I ducked out of the room and crossed the hall to Sophia's room.

Before I even scooped her up I had caught whiff of a dirty diaper.

"Good morning, Miss Sophia," I spoke as I plucked her up, "Smells like someone needs a diaper change."

I set her down gently on the changing table and removed the dirty diaper, and cleaned her up before placing a fresh one on.

"There," I coed, pressing the tabs down. "That's better, huh?"

I snatched a purple t-shirt and light pink leggings for her to wear. Once I had her all dressed I scooped her up in my arms.

"How about we go wake up that brother of yours?" I suggested, and we crossed over to his room and poked my head in. "Time to get up, Buddy,"

He grumbled a little but began getting out of bed. I took Sophia downstairs with me and into the kitchen. I laid her in her baby swing and began preparing breakfast. I started the batter for blueberry pancakes, knowing we hadn't had them in a while. It wasn't long before Brice was making his way into the kitchen in a pair of tan shorts and a blue t-shirt.

"Morning, Bri!" I smiled as I flipped the first set of pancakes.

"Good morning." He peered up onto the counter top. "Are you making blueberry pancakes?"

"Yes, I am," I smiled down at him.

"Really? They're my favorite!" he cheered.

"I know they are," I chuckled.

He climbed onto the stool at the counter and I set a stack of pancakes on a plate for him. Soon after Amanda came down dressed in her business clothes and poured herself some coffee in a to-go mug.

"I guess I'm off," she sighed with a sad smile, not wanting to leave.

"You'll be back before you know it," I tried to console her.

"Okay, I'll see you guys tonight," she said, giving Brice and Sophia a kiss on the forehead. "Be good for your dad."

"I love you," she called with a quick kiss on my cheek before she left.

After I finished the last set of pancakes, I fixed a bottle for Sophia and plucked her up to feed her.

"Don't you have to go to work?" Brice asked, he wasn't used to me being home during the day.

"Nope," I smiled, "I'll be home all day,"

"Can we go to the park?" he asked, getting really excited.

"Yeah, we can do that," I said, setting aside the empty bottle and shifting Sophia to burp her.

I could hear Nathan begin to shuffle around in his room before he made and appearance.

"Morning," I greeted as he sat down at the counter and grabbed himself a stack of pancakes.

"Morning," he returned as he dug into his food.

"Uncle Nate, we're going to the park!" Brice cheered.

"Sounds like fun, Bri" he chuckled.

After breakfast was all cleaned up and I had gotten the kids ready to go, we piled into the Jeep and headed to the park near Stephen and Nicole's. Once we were there, I got Sophia settled into her stroller and we made a few laps around the playground as I kept an eye on Brice.

"So I heard that your guidance counselor from school called Amanda yesterday," I broached the subject. "She wanted to talk about your plans for college after you're finished with your senior year."

"I haven't even started my senior year," he replied, matching his pace to mine.

"No, but you will be in the fall, Nate, and that's when you have to start applying," I reminded him. "Have you thought about where you want to go?"

"I'll probably stay here, go to UW or something," he shrugged.

"You know you're not limited to Washington, right?"

"I know," he nodded, "I don't know if I want to leave home though,"

I could understand why he wouldn't want to leave. We were his family and he didn't want to move hundreds of miles away.

"Well how about later this week, we go take a look at UW?" I suggested. "The kids can spend the day with Nicole."

"Sounds good," he smiled, "Thanks,"

It wasn't long before it started raining and Sophia started fussing.

"Brice!" I called, "We have to get going!"

We piled back into the car and made our way back home. By that point it was really pouring outside. I put Sophia down for her nap, and popped in a movie for Brice while I prepared lunch for us. Nathan chose to work on his bike in the garage.

"Grilled cheese, no crust, green apple sliced and a glass of milk," I announced as I set his plate on the coffee table.

"Thanks, dad" he mumbled, sitting up and eating his food while he kept his eyes on the movie.

I joined Brice on the couch and ate my lunch while we watched the movie. Once the film was over, Sophia needed a diaper change and a bottle. After I had gotten her cleaned up, I brought her back downstairs and fed her a bottle. Brice had kept himself busy by drawing in his coloring book at the coffee table. I sat back down on the couch and Sophia curled up on my chest.

In the time I was gone he had also popped in another movie to watch. It was another movie with talking toys. I placed Sophia in her swing and slipped out into the garage to see if Nathan needed anything.

"Need any help?" I asked.

"Actually, yeah could you tighten this bolt here, while I hold it in place?" he asked, his hands covered in oil.

"This is really coming along," I noted.

"Yeah, Foss is going to have to make due on his promise," he chuckled, sliding his hands out and wiping them off on a rag.

"I guess he will," I laughed slightly.

Amanda came home, as I was helping him fix the breaks. By that time Brice had finished his movie and joined us outside. Considering we were all outside, I brought Sophia and her swing out to the garage.

"How was your first day back?" I asked as she picked Sophia up.

"Long," she sighed, "but it was good to get back."

Shortly after, I made my way back inside and got dinner ready. We all ate together, than it was time for me to take Brice to basketball practice. Since it was summer vacation we had enrolled him on a league to keep him busy. I watched from the sidelines as he ran around with the other kids. The coach was having them run shooting drills. They ended practice by running a mini scrimmage.

Brice and I made our way back home and he hopped in the shower before I got him ready for bed.

"Goodnight buddy," I whispered and he mumbled goodnight back.

Nathan had gone out with some of his friends from school and Amanda was downstairs in her office, probably catching up on some work. I poked my head into Sophia's room and found her sound asleep. I left the door cracked and made my way downstairs.

"What are you working on?" I asked, leaning on the doorframe of Amanda's office. She must have been tired because she had taken out her contacts and was wearing her glasses.

"I was actually just going through the photos I had printed of when Sophia was born," She explained, setting a stack of photos on the coffee table and sitting back into the couch.

"Really?" I said, moving to join her on the couch.

"Oh! Look at this one," she said, handing me a photo.

It was one of me holding Sophia; I was leaning against the window of the hospital room, my focus completely on her.

"I didn't even know you took this," I chuckled. "Look at this one,"

It was a photo of all of us—Amanda, Brice, Sophia and myself—on the hospital bed. It was the first family photo we had of all of us.

"We need to get some picture frames," she whispered softly.

I had wrapped my arm around her and she had rested her legs on my lap. She rested her head back onto my shoulder and peered up at me. I looked down into her deep blue eyes.

"What's that look for?" I smiled softly.

"You're the mind reader," she grinned.

We laughed and I took the photos she had in her hand and tossed them onto the coffee table. I brushed a few stay hairs from her face before tilting her chin up and touching my lips to hers. She pulled at the collar of my shirt, drawing me closer and deepening the kiss.

"I love you," I mumbled between kisses.

"I love you too," she replied, unbuttoning my shirt.

**AN: Hey everyone! I know that in the last author's note I said that I would have more time to write. Turns out I didn't and I'm sorry for that. This chapter was mostly just fluff, however that's good from time to time. I've been thinking a lot about jumping ahead in time a couple of years so I may or may not do that in my next chapter. I have a couple ideas of what I want to do so we'll see what I end up doing. **

** Anyway, I hope you liked this new chapter. Let me know what you thought! Thank you for reading!**


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 54

Reality

""-

Brice (POV)

10 years later

I grabbed my gym bag and backpack from the back of the old Jeep that used to be dad's, and made my way into the house. I found Aunt Lori in the kitchen, drumming her nails on the counter. She must have been waiting on the girls because I could hear their feet pattering upstairs in Soph's room.

"Hey Aunt Lori!" I greeted, tossing my stuff on the floor by the garage door. "Waiting on the girls?"

"Yes, they have to be at gymnastics in twenty minutes and they're taking their sweet time up there." She sighed.

"You should be used to this by now," I chuckled, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "They've only been holding everyone up since they were five."

She glared at me before pacing over to the bottom of the stairs and yelling a five-minute warning up to the girls.

"Where is everyone anyway?" I asked.

"Your mom had a meeting than she was going to pick up your brothers from Uncle Josh's house, I guess they were having a play date with Henry. And your Dad is in his office doing some work," she informed me just before the girls came toddling down the stairs.

The three of them, Soph, Payton and Lily, were dressed identically with their hair up in buns, exercise pants, and matching grey sweatshirts with their gymnastics company logo on it.

"Have fun at gymnastics girls," I called as Aunt Lori marched them out the door and into the car.

I was about to head up to my room to get started on my homework when I heard something fall in dad's office.

"Dad?" I called as I poked my head into his office. "Oh my god, Dad, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just stumbled," he huffed as he tried to stand back up using the arm of a chair for support.

"Here," I said, linking my arms under his arms and around his torso to help him up into the chair.

"Thank you, Bri," he mumbled, catching his breath.

I sat down in the chair opposite of him and waited for him to say something.

"I just tripped on the leg of the desk," he finally said. "No big deal."

"Are you sure?" I asked, this wasn't the first time he had fallen.

"Yeah," he smiled. "How was school?"

I could tell he just wanted to change the subject. "School was fine. I had a test in calculus, which was easier than I thought it would be."

"That's always good, what about hockey practice?" he asked.

"Coach had us skate suicides because a couple of the guys were slacking off," he chuckled. "But that wasn't too bad."

When I was ten I joined my fist hockey team. Uncle Declan was more hurt by it than Dad was. Uncle Declan was set on me playing college basketball ever since I could dribble a ball. I have made it up to him though; I still play pick up games with him and enjoy watching with him too.

"Are you sure your coach isn't related to your uncle Foss?" he joked.

"You never know," I chuckled, "I have some home work to get started on. Are you sure you're okay, dad?"

"I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me," he assured as he stood up. I saw the slight flash of a wince in his eyes that he tried to mask.

"Okay," I shrugged it off as I got up and left the room.

I glanced over my shoulder as I strode away and saw him checking his hip. There was a rather large purple bruise forming already. Deep down I knew that there was something wrong with him, he was just too proud to admit it. I snatched my backpack and climbed the stairs two steps at a time before heading into my room.

I sat down at my desk and turned on some music before I pulled out my AP Biology textbook and began reading the assigned chapters. Within an hour and a half I had all my work done for the night and I could hear mom's car pull into the drive way. About a minute later she had made her way inside, followed by the twin tornados, Wyatt and Mason. As I strode down the stairs I could see that mom had an arm full of groceries.

"Here Mom," I said taking the bag from her, "Let me get that."

"Thank you, sweetie," she smiled in appreciation.

I took the paper bag into the kitchen where dad was already getting started on dinner.

"What are you cooking?" I asked.

"Pasta," he answered, breaking the noodles and tossing them into a boiling pot of water. "Did you finish your homework?"

"Yep, all done," I assured.

"Brice!" I could hear Mason shout from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, buddy?" I called back.

"Come play with us!" Wyatt demanded.

"Alright, I'll coming," I said as I chased them up the stairs.

Kyle (POV)

I chuckled and shook my head as I listened to the boys charge up the stairs.

"I swear one day, they'll tear this house down," Amanda said as she began to fix a salad to go with the pasta.

"Boys will be boys," I teased, knowing how much she hated that expression. "How was your day?"

"Busy as always, Lori and I were able to close a deal with that new band Red Diamond though," she elaborated.

"Really? You guys have been trying to get them to sign a deal for the last month," I said. The band's manager was a difficult lady to please.

"The band actually fired their manager and decided that they would manage themselves," she said, chopping up the lettuce.

"Good for them," I commented as I stirred the sauce.

"How have you been today?" she asked.

"Fine, I went into work today and operated on an older man who had fallen and hit his head," I avoided what she was really asking me.

"I thought you weren't going into work this morning," she said as she tossed the salad.

"I'm an attending, I can't just_ not_ go to work." She felt that my job was putting too much of a strain on my body.

"I understand that, Kyle, but you don't seem to see the toll-"

"I'm a grown man, Amanda," I snapped, "I think I know what I can and can not handle."

"You're so stubborn, you can't even put your pride aside, to listen to your family for once," her tone was sharper, "Foss, Jessi, Nate, your parents, we've all been telling you that you need to slow down and let your body heal."

I didn't say anything; I just took the noodles off of the stove and drained the water into the sink.

"In the last year alone, you've traveled to Germany to help with the army medical center, you've been to Africa to do surgery," she paused, "you've done a lot Kyle."

Again I didn't say anything, I just stood at the sink with my back to her. She was right, and I knew she was. But that didn't mean that I could just stop helping people. It was my job to help people; it's my purpose to help people. Before she had a chance to say anything further, Sophia came home from gymnastics and the boys came down and joined us for dinner.

Amanda and I tried our best to put our argument aside and have a nice meal with our kids. I could tell that Brice had picked up on the slight tension between Amanda and I, but none of the younger kids had. Once dinner was over I cleaned up the kitchen and Amanda helped Sophia with her homework.

By the time I was finished cleaning up I snagged Wyatt and Mason from their game of superhero vs. pirate, to get them ready for bed.

"Dad?" Mason called me from my thoughts as I plucked him from the tub and wrapped him in a towel.

"What's up, buddy?" I asked, as I pulled Wyatt from the tub.

"Were you listening to my story?" He asked, rubbing his nose with his towel.

"Yeah, you were saying something about Brice," I tried my best to recall what he had been saying.

"No…" his face fell.

"I'm sorry buddy, I've just had a lot on my mind, will you tell me again and I promise pay close attention," I said, as I reached for their tooth brushes and began helping them brush their teeth.

"You promise you'll listen this time?" he asked.

"Yes, I promise," I smiled.

"Okay," he grinned and started into his story for the second time. This time I listened and it turned out that when he was at Josh's house today, Josh had made him laugh so hard milk came out his nose.

"Milk came out your nose?" I tried my best to match his enthusiasm.

"Uh huh, it went everywhere," he giggled.

"Then aunt Andy made uncle Josh clean it up!" Wyatt added to Mason's story.

"Well uncle Josh shouldn't have made you laugh so hard," I teased.

I led them into their bedroom that they shared and got them into their pajamas. Then they climbed into their bunk bed, and dove right under the covers. Wyatt was on the bottom bunk and Mason had the top bunk. I craned my neck to see Mason in the top buck so that I could say goodnight to him, then bent down to the bottom bunk to say goodnight to Wyatt.

I hesitated in the doorway for a moment and watched them give into sleep. They were my twin boys, my buddies. I watched Wyatt, the shyer one of the two; he had Amanda's blond hair, and my blue eyes. Than there was Mason, the troublemaker, he had thick dark hair like mine and my eyes as well. I remembered back five years ago when Amanda had told me she was pregnant. I had just gotten back from a trip with a team of doctors to South America. I didn't think I could have been more overjoyed; until we found out they were twins.

I left the door cracked slightly before I poked my head into Sophia's room. She was curled up in bed reading a book.

"Goodnight, Soph," I smiled.

"Night, dad," she said.

Then I crossed the hall to Brice's room. He was at his desk going over his playbook for hockey.

"Don't stay up too late, Bri," I warned.

"I won't, night dad," he said.

"Night," I said softly as I left his room.

As I walked down stairs I thought of my children. They were all growing up too fast. Brice was 16 and would be starting his junior year in the fall. Sophia was 10 and the best gymnast I had ever seen. The twins were four and already in preschool. Amanda was right, I did take on too much, and it was taking a toll on my body. I wasn't healing as fast as I used to, I was constantly tired, and I was growing weaker.

I found Amanda out on the back porch. She was sitting on one of the benches with a glass of wine.

"I'm sorry," I said, drawing her attention to me.

"For what?" she countered.

"I'm running myself into a far earlier grave than expected," I admitted, sitting down beside her, "I'm a fool to think that my body can handle this stress,"

"Kyle, after you had that seizure last spring," she paused, "you promised me that you would slow down,"

"I know," I whispered. "It's a lot easier said than done, though,"

"Its not that I want you to quit you job: you love your job," she sighed. "It's just that I don't want you traveling or working as many hours as you have been,"

"I'll try my best to cut back," I said.

"I don't want what happened to Adam to happen to you," she said, reaching out and pulling my face to look at her.

"I know," I whispered.

Not long after, we made our way up stairs and she changed into her pajamas and climbed right into bed. I decided to take a shower, it had been a long day and I just needed to relax. After about twenty minutes I got out and dried off. I stopped in front of the mirror and caught a glimpse of the deep purple and blue bruise that had grown much larger on my hip. I gently ran my fingers across it and winced. I knew after I fell that it would leave a mark, however I hadn't anticipated it to be this severe.

**AN: Hello everyone! Here is a new chapter. I don't have much to say, other than this story will be coming to a close shortly. I want Fatherhood to have a proper ending and its been something that I have been planning and writing toward for a while. However, I do anticipate a few more chapters before I am ready to say goodbye Fatherhood, so you will all be able to enjoy that! Please feel free to comment and let me know what your thoughts are! Thank you for reading!**


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 55

Elephant in the Room

"Breath in Breath out"- Mat Kearney

Kyle (POV)

I sat at my desk in my office of my home; a stack of freshly printed documents lay before me. I had looked over all the sheets of legal jargon and it all seemed to be in order: My entire life's affairs all complied into this stack of papers.

"All you have to do is sign," Foss said calmly, handing me a pen.

"I'm 37 years old," I sighed, taking the pen, "I shouldn't have to sign a will."

"Adam had his will in order by the time he was 25," Foss joked, trying to lighten the mood.

I chuckled softly and signed the document. It entitled that all the kids trust funds would be granted to them by the age of 25, their college tuition would be paid for in full, and the house and all my belongings and fortune would be left in Amanda's name.

"I'll give these to the layer tomorrow." Foss was referring to Levi Grant, the lawyer who had helped me with the custody trial years ago.

"Thanks Foss," I said, and rose from my seat to walk with him to the door.

"Get some rest, Kyle," he said as he slipped on his coat.

"I'll try. Goodnight Foss," I said, closing the door behind him.

I slowly and steadily climbed up the stairs. I paused at the top to catch my breath—the last thing I needed was to break into a coughing fit and wake the whole house. Once I was sure that I wouldn't cough I crossed the hall to the bedroom. I stopped outside Brice's door and peered into the empty room. Even after a year of him being away at college I still wasn't used to it.

I shook my head and quietly entered the bedroom. I found Amanda asleep in our bed; she looked so peaceful asleep on her side. I stripped down to my boxer briefs and gently pulled back the blanket before crawling in next to her. Amanda stirred slightly but relaxed after she realized it was only me. She instinctively nudged closer to me and I wrapped one arm around her, letting her cuddle up to my chest.

I lay there for a while, taking in the moment. This was one of my favorite times of the day, just holding her in my arms. I memorized the way her hair tickled my chest, the way her cool soft breath felt on my skin, the way her shampoo smelled like coconut and something else I couldn't quite figure out. I craned my neck down and kissed the top of her head before falling asleep.

Amanda awoke around seven to get the kids off to school. Six months ago she had convinced me to at least take a medical leave. I took a three-month medical leave than tried to go back to work, however I began to feel even more drained than usual. Than I decided it would be better for my health to take an extended leave from work.

It wasn't until around nine thirty that she came back to the bedroom to wake me.

"You planning on sleeping all day?" she joked, sitting on the edge of the bed, resting her hand on my leg.

"I was thinking about it," I smiled. "Working from home today?"

"I might make a phone call or two," she winked. "I was thinking we could eat breakfast in bed today,"

"That sounds wonderful," I grinned, noticing the bag of bagels on the nightstand along with two cups of coffee.

She climbed back into bed with me and I handed her one of the Styrofoam cups full of hot coffee along with a blueberry bagel.

"I can't remember the last time we had breakfast in bed, without one of the kids charging in," I chuckled.

"I can't remember the last time we had a meal without the kids," she added with a giggle.

"Have you talked to Brice recently?" I asked, making a mental note that it had been a while since I had talked with him.

"Yeah, we talked on Skype yesterday morning," she said, sipping her coffee.

"How's he doing?" I asked.

"Really well, he's still training with the hockey team, I guess they're still in preseason," she informed me. "It looks like the California sun has been treating him well, too."

"Last time I talked with him I noticed that too," I smiled.

We lounged in bed, our coffee cups long empty, and we just enjoyed each other's company. Eventually I went to stand and head to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed for the day. When I went to stand I was hit by a coughing fit, I tried my best to get a handle on it but failed miserably. I ended up having to sit back down, while Amanda darted to the bathroom to get me a glass of water.

"Here," she said, handing me the glass.

I tried drinking the water and it did help the coughing subside.

"Are you alright?" she asked, running her hand through my hair.

"Yeah," I nodded as I caught my breath again.

"I'll give Declan a call and have him come take a look at you later," she said.

"You don't have to do that," I objected.

"I just want him to listen to you lungs," she said. "Just to ease my worries."

"Okay," I nodded reluctantly. "I'm just going to hop in the shower."

She nodded and hovered in the room until she heard the shower water running and knew that I had made it in the shower safely. Just before I stepped into the shower, I opened the palm of my hand and saw the crimson red blood I had managed to hide from Amanda. Coughing up blood was something new, and I didn't want her to worry even more than she already did. I got into the shower and washed the blood off of my hand.

Once I was all clean and dressed I made my way downstairs to find Amanda seated at the counter in the kitchen with her laptop out.

"Nice shower?" she asked, peering up from the email she was typing.

"Very refreshing," I chuckled.

"Foss was here pretty late last night," she noted.

"Yeah," I nodded. "We were finalizing the will,"

"Oh," she said, her voice just above a whisper.

My mortality was one of the biggest elephants in the room for us. We could never quite figure out how to talk about it. I leaned against the counter, facing her. We were both quiet for the longest moment.

"Amanda," I started, resting my hands on the edge of the counter, "We're going to have to deal with this at some point,"

"I can't lose you Kyle," her voice filled with pain.

"I'm still here," I said.

"But for how long?" Tears filled her eyes.

"For as long as I can be," I whispered as I stepped around the counter, closer to her and wiped away her tears. "I _wish_ that I could tell you that every thing would be okay…but I can't, and I'm sorry for that,"

"There's nothing that can be done?" She looked up at me with pleading eyes.

"We can keep altering the formula, in order to slow the decline of my body's overall health. However-" She cut me off.

"You'll just become immune to the formula," she mumbled.

I nodded and she rose from her seat and collapsed into my arms. I held her tight and felt my shirt began to dampen.

"I'll keep fighting," I whispered, "For as long as I can,"

I rubbed small soothing circles on her back and just let her cry. It was the first time I had really seen Amanda break down about the situation. After a long moment of just holding her in my arms, she pulled back slightly and gazed up at me with flushed cheeks. I cradled her cheek in my palm and wiped away her tears as the trickled down. I tried my best to give her a reassuring smile.

I knew that eventually she would be okay, it would take some time, but she would get through it. She and the kids had a long road ahead of them, but they would be together, and eventually they would all be okay.

"What are we going to tell the kids?" she mumbled.

I hadn't really thought about it.

"Lets wait," I said. "They don't need to know just yet,"

She nodded. "They do _deserve_ to know at some point though," she reminded me.

"I know, and they will," I assured, "I don't want to burden them just yet,"

"Okay," she said.

By that point we had moved to the couch. I had one arm slung over her shoulders and her legs draped over my lap.

"We have to make sure that they understand what will happen," she said. "I didn't understand, when my father was dying and I regret that,"

"You regret it?" I asked, slightly confused.

"I regret not going to the hospital when I should have," she elaborated, "not being there with him."

"They'll be okay," I mumbled.

She shifted so that she could rest her head on my shoulder. Neither one of us said any more. I sat, cradling her in my arms for hours; I would wipe away her tears as they fell, just trying anything to comfort her. We didn't have to worry about the kids coming home and finding Amanda so distraught because Stephen had picked up the twins from school and taken them to a basketball game, and Sophia was staying the night at Lori and Declan's house.

More than anything I wanted to be able to say _something_ that would comfort her, _something_ that would take the pain away. All I could do was hold her while she cried. I had been waiting for this for a while, for her to truly feel these emotions. This is what Amanda did; she would pretend that everything was all right when on the inside she was falling apart. I was the only person she felt comfortable showing her emotions to, it hurt me to know that she would have to deal with them alone after I was gone.

"You'll be okay," I whispered after hours of silence.

"How do you know that?" she mumbled.

"Because, you're one of the strongest people I know," I said softly.

"That doesn't make losing you any better," she said.

"I know," I sighed, "I know,"

Then we went back to silence. Neither one of us knew what to say. After a while I heard her stomach grumble, so I got up without saying a word and went to heat up left over pizza. I came back to the couch and handed her a slice before reclaiming my seat next to her. She curled back to me and began picking at her slice. It was obvious she didn't have much of an apatite. After picking at her slice for a while she gave up and placed the plate on the coffee table. I set my plate aside too, and went back to holding her.

"Are you afraid?" she asked after another stent of silence.

"Afraid?" I asked, not really sure what she meant.

"Of…_dying_?" her voice was barely audible.

I thought about it for a moment. I hadn't really given myself a chance to think about how I felt about the whole situation. I'd been so busy taking into consideration how everyone else felt.

"I haven't really thought too much about it," I finally admitted, "I think…"

"What?" she probed.

"I think…that I'm more afraid of everything that I will miss out on," I whispered, not wanting to upset her.

"With me and the kids?" she clarified.

"Yeah," I nodded.

She was quiet again; I could tell she was contemplating something.

"What are you afraid of?" I asked.

"Not being able to do it without you," she said softly, "Having to go on, _alone_,"

"Amanda," I sighed, choosing my words carefully, "After I'm gone, if…If you find someone who makes you happy,"

"Kyle," she cut me short, "To be honest I can't even…think about that."

"Okay," I smiled slightly and leaned down to kiss the top of her head that was resting on my shoulder.

We fell back into the silence. I just sat with her in my arms. It wasn't until I heard her breathing slow and her heart rate drop that I realized she had dozed off. I continued rubbing small soothing circles on her arm. Usually when she fell asleep on me I would carry her upstairs to our bed, however, I wasn't sure if I had the strength to carry her and climb the stairs.

I snatched the blue knit blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over us. She cuddled closer to me tugging the blanket to her. She had allowed herself to be so vulnerable today, and revealed her true emotion to me. It was something that she didn't do often, and took a lot of strength. It made me even more proud of her. In some ways it was reassuring because I knew that even when the time came that I could no longer be there, she would be okay. Eventually, she would heal.

**AN: Hey everyone! I hope you all like this chapter even though its kind of sad… Let me know what you think! By the way I updated a few of the pictures for the story, they're on my profile so check them out!**


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 56

Blindsided

""-

Brice (POV)

Months later…

It was just around eight o'clock on a Sunday morning when I awoke to my phone vibrating against the nightstand by my bed. I knew it couldn't be my alarm because Sunday was the only day of the week I was able to sleep in on. I rolled over in my bed and groggily answered my cell. After having stayed out pretty late the night before with my hockey buddies celebrating our win, eight o'clock seemed pretty early.

"Hello," I whispered, trying my best not to wake my girlfriend, Lyla.

"Brice," Nathan greeted. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," I admitted as I shuffled in the living room of my apartment in just my boxers.

"Sorry about that." He didn't sound too sincere. "I just flew into Seattle a couple of days ago and…"

"What's wrong?" I probed after he trailed off.

"Look, Bri, your dad, he's…. he's not doing too well," he said carefully, "I think you should come home."

I swallowed hard. I had been waiting for this phone call for a while. I had caught onto Dad being ill long before he and Mom had even thought about telling Sophia or I. I had gone to uncle Nate once I started to suspect something, because I knew he would be honest with me. It was then that I had made him promise to call me when things got bad.

"Bri?" he said after a moment of my silence.

"I'm here," I whispered. "Let me get things settled here. I'll be on a flight by the end of the week."

"Okay," he paused, "I'm sorry that I had to call you Bri, I just-"

"I understand," I cut him off. "Thank you,"

"Call me when you know your flight schedule," he said. "I'll pick you up from the airport,"

"Okay," I mumbled, "I will."

"And Brice?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to call _me_ if you need _anything_," he ordered. "Day or night, okay?"

"I will, Nate," I whispered. "Thanks."

We ended the phone call shortly thereafter. I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. Part of me had been preparing for this for months, but the other part of me felt completely blindsided. I didn't really know what to do with the information I had just been given. My mind began racing with all of the things I had to get done. Spring exams were starting next week so I would have to talk to my professors about taking them early. I would also have to talk to my coach and let him know I would be out from practice for some time.

"Brice?" Lyla called from the doorway of my room, "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," I got up and stalked into my room. "That was just my uncle…things have gotten worse with my dad, I have to fly home,"

I had been dating Lyla for almost a year now. She had actually spent this past Christmas with my family and I in Seattle. She knew all about my dad being ill. She also knew about the promise I had made with uncle Nate and what a phone call like that meant.

"I have to book a flight; I have to call my coach," I rambled as I paced around the room. "I should email my professors."

"Brice, Brice," she stopped me. "Sweetie, slow down."

"I can't, I have to pack my things,"

She stepped in front of me and cradled my face between her palms and looked directly into my eyes with her warm brown ones. I just began to shake my head slowly from side to side as a knot formed in my throat. I tried my best to swallow it away, fighting myself from breaking down.

"It's okay," she whispered ever so slightly.

For as long as I had been preparing for my father to die, she had been preparing to be there for me when I finally broke down. I managed to hold it together as I clenched my jaw.

She just wrapped her arms around me and I buried my head into the crook of her neck. It would have been an interesting sight to see; her petite five foot five stature, holding my six foot four hockey player build.

"You're going to be okay," she murmured.

She had lost her mom to breast cancer two years ago, so she understood what I was going through. I pulled back, composing myself.

"Thank you," I sighed.

"There's no need," she smiled ever so slightly.

"I love you," I whispered. It wasn't the first time I had said it to her.

"I know, and I love you too,"

She hesitantly released me from her embrace making sure that I was truly okay. I gave her a faint smile to give her some reassurance.

"I think I'm going to go for a run," I told her. "Just clear my head,"

"Okay," she nodded, "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"Just be here," I whispered softly.

She smiled, "Of course,"

I slipped on my running shoes after pulling on a pair of shorts, than I made my way downstairs and out of the apartment building. I ran far, farther than I usually would run. I ran up the trail that Lyla and I would usually hike. I ran to the highest point of the cliff that overlooked L.A. At the top I stopped to catch my breath. I doubled over resting my hands on my knees as sweat poured down my face. I stayed there long enough to catch my breath however not long enough to allow myself to think about my father dying. I wasn't prepared to deal with those emotions just yet.

I ran back to the apartment and jumped in the shower. I used cold water to cool off my skin. Once I was finished and dressed in a light grey V-neck t-shirt and dark wash jeans I made my way into the kitchen.

"Hey," Lyla greeted, looking up from her laptop at the small kitchen table.

"Hi," I mumbled giving her a kiss on the cheek as I passed her, and grabbed a mug from the cabinet.

"I just made a fresh pot," she informed me, referring to the coffee.

"Thank you," I said, fixing myself a cup. "Has there been any sign of Jared?"

"Only snores from his room," she responded. Jared was my roommate as well as a teammate of mine.

I nodded, as I grabbed my laptop from the coffee table in the living room and brought it to the kitchen. I sat down across from Lyla and began getting things in order. I emailed my professors as well as my coaches, than began looking into flights.

I didn't hear from my professors until later that evening. They all sent their condolences and said that if I was up to it I would be able to take my exams early. My coaches responded, within the hour of sending the email, sending their condolences as well and to not even worry about practice or hockey.

Before the night was over, I had arranged to take two exams in the morning than the last two exams in the morning on Tuesday. I would than fly out to Seattle on Wednesday morning. I was perfectly okay with taking my exams because I had already been preparing for them for the past couple of weeks.

Monday came and went and so did Tuesday. I wasn't too worried about my exams they seemed fairly easy. My professors said that they would be able to email me my scores by the end of the week, that way it would be one less thing to worry about.

"What time does your flight leave?" Lyla asked.

It was Tuesday night, and she was keeping me company while I packed my bag.

"I have to board the plane at nine," I said as I tossed a few pairs of socks into my bag. "I have to be there an hour early though."

I went to grab my dark grey suit coat and matching dress pants, when I hesitated. I didn't know how long I was going to be there for, and I was packing a suit, for my father's funeral.

"My dad's dying," I whispered, my back to Lyla who was sitting on the bed.

I couldn't feel anything, only numbness as I said the words. They didn't make sense. The words didn't seem to fit together correctly. 'Dad' and 'dying' didn't coincide. Lyla came up behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder letting me know that she was there for me. Than I turned wrapping my arms around her.

I finished packing my things in a robot state, than I went to bed with the same feeling. I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the idea of my dad dying, even though I had known it was coming for months.

The next morning I awoke and took a shower, than dressed in one of my hockey sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Lyla had made me breakfast however I didn't have much of an appetite. She drove me to the airport and I didn't say much. Once we got there she walked me in and waited while I checked in than we stood off to the side so we could have a somewhat private goodbye.

"You'll call me when you get there?" she asked. I had my arms wrapped around her.

"Of course," I said, not wanting to let go.

"I'm only a phone call away," she whispered, "and I can be on a plane if you need me,"

"I know," I smiled. "I love you,"

"I love you too."

I leaned down and kissed her softly on her lips before I parted to go through security. As I made my way though I turned and saw that she was still standing there making sure that I would make it though. I waved to her after I had made it passed the metal detectors, and tried my best to give her a reassuring smile.

I found my gate with ease, and then boarded the plane shortly after. The flight went by fast and before I knew it I was waiting to exit the plane in Seattle. I left the baggage terminal and stood outside craning my neck over the crowed to find uncle Nate. There was a think cover of clouds in the sky; the sun was nowhere to be found.

"Brice!" I heard him call.

"Hey Nate," I smiled, giving him a hug. "Thank you for picking me up,"

"No problem," he said, taking my bag and tossing it in the backseat of the car.

Once we were in the car and had merged onto the high way, I felt it was safe to ask about dad.

"How bad is he?" I asked after having gone through the remedial 'how are you?' questions.

"He's weak, and he's sleeping more and more," he sighed. "He still makes himself get out of bed a couple times a day, however he and you mom have moved to the guest room so he doesn't have to deal with the stairs."

I nodded and mentally prepared myself for what I was going to encounter.

"How are Soph and the twins handling it?" I asked.

"The twins understand that he's sick," he explained. "But I'm not sure they understand that he's…_dying_."

"And Sophia?" I asked.

"She doesn't come out of her room much," he said, carefully. "She's taking it pretty rough,"

I nodded, and before I knew it we were pulling into the driveway. I sighed as I got out of the car and snagged my bag from the back of the car. I made my way into the house and noticed that Nana Nicole and Grandpa Stephen's car was in the driveway as well.

"Hello?" I half whispered, dropping my bag by the door.

"Brice is that you?" It was Nana Nicole who called from the kitchen.

"Yeah," I smiled as I entered the kitchen, "it's me,"

Immediately she came over and pulled me into one of her famous hugs.

"I've missed you so much," she exclaimed as she squeezed me.

"I've missed you too, Nana," I smiled.

"We didn't know you were coming," Grandpa Stephen said as he pulled me into a hug, once Nana Nicole had released me.

"Nate called," I said, nodding to him as he grabbed something from the fridge. "He said… thing were getting worse."

Both of their smiles fell, right then and there, I knew things were bad.

"That bad," I whispered.

None of them replied. I didn't expect them to either. I just turned in the direction of the guest bedroom and headed straight for it.

"Bri, I don't-" Grandpa Stephen called after me.

"Stephen," Nana Nicole stopped him and they both let me go.

I paused just outside the closed door. Nothing could prepare me for what I was about to see, but I still needed a moment. I took a deep breath and nocked softly on the door before entering.

I swallowed hard when I saw him. It was clear that he had dropped a fair amount of weight since I had last seen him. There were think dark purple rings under his eyes and his skin was ghostly pale.

"Brice?" I heard Mom call however I paid no attention to her.

Every fiber of my body was telling me to turn around and walk out that door. But my feet were like cinder blocks and I couldn't move. I was right: there really was nothing I could do to prepare myself for this.

"Dad?" I finally spoke, forcing myself to step closer to his bedside where Mom sat holding his hand.

"Hey buddy," he tried his best to smile and act like everything was okay.

"I'll give you two a minute," Mom said, excusing herself from the room.

I hesitated at the end of the bed, unsure of what to do or what to say.

"Who called you?" he asked. He wasn't mad, just curious.

"Uncle Nate," I said.

He nodded and I slowly stepped forward to take the seat that Mom had been sitting in.

"Will you hand me that sweater?" he asked, eyeing the cream white zip up sweater at the end of the bed.

I nodded as I leaned down and snatched the sweater. He sat forward and I helped him slip on the sweater. My hands brushed his as I help him and I noticed how cold his fingers were. He settled back into the bed once the sweater was adjusted to his liking.

"How are things with you and Lyla?" he asked, trying anything to break the awkward silence that had filled the room.

I chuckled. "We're great," I smiled.

"Ah," he said, knowingly, "I know that look,"

"What look?" I asked, quickly trying to mask any facial expressions.

"Your aunt Lori called it my 'Amanda look'," he explained. "And now I see why,"

"You had an '_Amanda look'_?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Three or four apparently," he smiled. "Now, I see that you have a _Lyla_ _look_."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"Not at all," he said, "It just means that you love her."

"I do love her," I clarified.

He continued talking. Providing any topic other than dying. I sat with him for almost two hours before he began falling asleep and I excused myself from the room. Before I left, I pulled the blanket closer to him and tucked it around him, just like he had done for me when I was a kid.

"I love you, Dad," I whispered before leaving the room.

Mom had gone to pick up the twins from uncle Josh's and to run to the grocery store. Nana Nicole was cooking dinner in the kitchen and Grandpa Stephen was helping her. Uncle Nate was doing some work in Dad's office.

"Soph upstairs?" I asked, as I made my way into the kitchen.

"I think so," Grandpa Stephen answered, looking up from the vegetables he was cutting.

"I'm just going to go say hi, I guess." It was strange that she hadn't already been down to greet me. She usually was the first person to tackle me with a hug when I came home.

"Maybe you'll be able to cheer her up," Grandpa suggested.

I made my way up the stairs and into her room.

"Can I come in?" I asked as I knocked on the door.

"Brice?" she called back.

"Yeah?" I chuckled. "Who else would it be?"

"I didn't know you were coming home," she exclaimed as she flung open the door and leaped at me with a hug.

"I just got here this afternoon," I explained.

"Oh," her face fell and all the excitement dissipated, "because of dad…"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I hear you've been pretty upset?"

"Of course I'm upset," she scuffed, sitting back on her bed, leaning against the headboard. "Aren't you?"

"To be honest?" I said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "I don't know what I feel. None of it feels real."

"It's not fair," she mumbled, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"No, its not," I sighed. "You know Soph, it's not his fault."

"I know that," she whispered sort of harshly.

"Then why won't you go see him?" I asked very calmly and softly.

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"I think you do," I countered. "It's okay to be scared, Soph,"

She was quiet for a while; I could tell she was fighting tears because her face was turning red.

"It's okay, Soph," I whispered, shifting to sit next to her and put one arm around her.

"I don't want him to die, Brice," she finally spoke, her voice close to cracking.

"Neither do I," I whispered. "You want to know something else?"

"What?" She mumbled.

"I'm scared too," I admitted.

**AN: I don't really have too much to say. I hope you all, I don't want to say enjoyed the chapter because it was sad, however I hope that despite the sadness that it was worth reading. Anyway, let me know what you think!**


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 57

Goodbye

"You Found Me"- The Fray

Brice (POV)

I sat down on the porch steps in the back yard. The sun had set almost an hour ago. I had been home for a few days now and things were, hesitant. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells. No one was sure of what to say or how to say anything. I rested my elbows on my knees as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

I listened to the stillness that seemed to surround the house. There wasn't anything like it. It was one of the many things I missed about home since I had been living in L.A. There wasn't any street noise or people shouting. It was just quiet, only the sound of crickets and water from the bay.

I heard the porch door open slightly than the familiar sound of footsteps approaching me.

"Hey mom," I greeted as she took a seat next to me.

"Your dad could do that too," she sighed.

"What?" I asked.

"Recognize a person by their footsteps." She smiled.

"It's just something you grow to recognize," I chuckled. "Is Dad asleep?"

"Yeah, he just fell back asleep about fifteen minutes ago," she informed.

I nodded.

"Sophia seems to be doing better," she noticed.

"Yeah," I nodded, "I talked to her the other day,"

"Really?" She seemed surprised. "None of us have been able to get through to her."

"She's just scared," I whispered. "In her eyes, dad couldn't be touched, and now he's dying,"

"And what about you?" she asked quietly.

"What about me?"

"You don't have to put up this front," she said. "You're allowed to be scared, or upset, or hurt,"

"I know," I mumbled. "And what about you?"

"I'll…" she hesitated, "I'll be okay,"

"You should go get some sleep, Mom," I suggested. "You've been taking care of everyone all day."

"I don't want to leave your dad," she said, biting her lower lip.

"I'll stay downstairs with him," I provided. "You need sleep,"

"So do you," she countered.

"I've had more sleep than you have these past few days," I retorted.

"Okay," she sighed. "Come get me if _anything_ happens."

"I will," I said as we both stood and headed back inside.

She disappeared upstairs and I went to the kitchen and grabbed a drink from the fridge. Sophia had passed out on the couch and aunt Lori had helped me get the twins to bed a little while ago. We were all drained. Just getting by with functioning.

I looked up to see uncle Declan come out of Dad's room. It was clear that he had been checking dad's vitals because of the stethoscope around his neck. He quietly shut the door behind him and almost tiptoed away from it.

"How's he doing?" I asked, taking a sip from my drink.

"He's…. hanging in there," he shrugged.

"Please just tell me the truth," I pleaded.

He sighed, "His breathing is more shallow, and labored,"

"What about his heart?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Given the circumstances it's fairly strong." He paused. "It's working on overload though."

I nodded as I set my drink down on the counter top, fixing my eyes on one of Nana Nicole's yellow note pads. I contemplated whether or not to ask my next question.

"How much longer?" I finally asked, meeting his eyes.

"Within the next few days," he mumbled, I could see the hurt in his eyes.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't think that uncle Declan knew what to say either. I could see aunt Lori studying us from the brown armchair in the family room. She had picked up on our tense conversation and studied us cautiously.

"Okay," I said, not knowing what else to say. What else was there to say?

He watched me carefully as I stalked into the room where dad was sleeping. He didn't follow and neither did aunt Lori. I took a seat in the chair by his bedside and just watched him. His skin was ashier and he looked frailer. I sat forward slightly and took his hand.

I stared at him; a small naïve part of me still had hope that he would recover from this. That he would wake up and he would be healthy again. I watched his chest raise and fall in what looked like slow motion. Every few minutes his breathing would become raspy than even out again.

"Dad," I whispered, knowing he was in too deep of a sleep to hear me, "I… I don't want to see you hurt… anymore,"

I fought the tears that were seeping my eyes.

"You shouldn't have to go through this," I said softly. "It's not right,"

There was no use is fighting the tears anymore. They rolled down my cheeks with ease. I rested my elbows on his bedside and cradled my head in my hands. I tried my best to compose myself.

The whole time I sat there a memory kept playing in my mind. I must have been three or four years old at the time. Dad had taken me down to the docks and we boarded a ferryboat. We spent the entire afternoon on the boat just riding back and forth across the harbor. The other passengers would load and unload, however we stayed on. He held me so that I could see the water bellow the boat.

The only reason we were on the boat was because I enjoyed riding the boat so much. He always did things with me that would make me happy. No matter how tedious the task was he did it, and he did it for me.

I rubbed my eyes and sighed, getting up from my chair. I tucked the blanket around him before I left the room. When I entered the family room, aunt Lori looked up from her laptop and gave me a sad smile.

"I'm going to head to bed," I mumbled.

"Okay," she nodded.

I slowly climbed the stairs to my room. I didn't even bother to change out of my clothes I just collapsed down onto the bed and fell asleep. My body was so exhausted it had begun to feel ache and sleep came with ease.

Days later I stood in front of my mirror in my room fixing my solid black tie around my neck. I thought back to when I was a kid and Dad had taught me how to tie a proper knot for a necktie. It was for uncle Josh and aunt Andy's wedding.

Dad had passed away in his sleep two nights ago, with mom and I sitting at his bedside.

"Your grandparents are downstairs," Mom informed me from the doorway to my room.

"Okay," I nodded, still focused on the tie.

"Here," she offered, coming closer to me and adjusting my tie.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"I have a feeling today is going to be a long day," she noted as she picked invisible lint from my shirt.

"You're probably right about that," I agreed, stepping over to my chair and snatching my dark grey suit coat and slipping it on.

"I'll just be glad when it's over," she sighed.

"Me too," I nodded.

We both evaded my room and she went to help Sophia get ready. I poked my head into the twin's room to check on Lyla, who had flown in last night for the funeral, and was currently helping the twins get ready.

"How's it going in here?" I asked.

"Fine," she smiled over her shoulder, "We're all set,"

Wyatt and Mason both darted off ahead of us and down the stairs. I took Lyla's hand and led her down the stairs. Shortly after mom and Sophia joined us.

"Looks like everyone's ready," Grandpa Stephen mumbled, there was no real emotion in his voice other than sadness.

I watched as he wrapped an arm around Nana Nicole and were the first ones out the door and to the car. Everyone seemed to file out of the house in twos, uncle Foss walked with mom, uncle Nate with Sophia, the twins, and Lyla and I. We made the drive to a secluded cemetery in two cars where we met the rest of the family.

There weren't many gravestones in the cemetery. As I walked with Lyla through the cemetery, I remembered having to be here years ago when Christopher had died. We had buried him next to Adam. We all stood at the foot of the empty grave, Dad's white wooden coffin sat next to it.

"Kyle, I don't even know how to begin to explain someone so truly extraordinary," Nana Nicole smiled sadly with tears in her eyes, "You came into this world as a blank slate, having no idea who you were or who you would become,

"However you were able to touch each of our lives in astonishing ways. You became a son, a brother, a best friend, a father, and a husband. You brought our lives closer together, just by being the kind, gentle, and caring person that you are. I truly believe that you are a light in a world full of darkness. You will forever be in our hearts and always be in our memories."

Uncle Foss and I stepped to the head of the casket and picked up the rope that lay underneath. Than uncle Declan and uncle Nathan took the middle rope, followed by uncle Josh and Grandpa Stephen at the end. We carefully lowered the white casket down into the grave.

I stood at the edge of the grave and peered down. Sophia came up beside me and handed me a single white rose. To her right stood Mason, he too had a rose. That was when I noticed Wyatt to my left standing there with a rose in his hand as well.

I glanced at the white rose in my hand. "I love you Dad," I whispered before I dropped the rose and watched it fall down into the grave.

Sophia, Wyatt and Mason all did the same. I felt Sophia grab my hand and I noticed that she already had ahold of Mason's hand as well. I peered down at Wyatt; his tears stained his cheeks. I placed my hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently. We had all lost our father, and we were all grieving.

I don't know how long we stood there. It felt like seconds however I knew it must have been longer. Eventually we left and went back home. Everyone came over to our house, and right away Nana Nicole busied herself by making dinner. I was exhausted and needed a moment alone so I escaped to my room.

I wasn't sure how or even why, but once I entered my room I found a white envelope sitting on my desk. My name was written on it and I recognized the hand writing immediately, it was from Dad.

I sat down on the edge of my bed with my envelope in my hands. After a long moment of just staring at the envelope I forced myself to open it.

_Dear Brice,_

_ I never expected to have to write a letter like this. I never expected to not be there to see all that you will accomplish in life. I'm sorry for that… I know that it hurts right now, and you're probably angry, that's fine. Be angry, be sad, be hurt: you have every right to be. _

_ Even though I'm not there with you now, I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I'm proud of the way you've been so strong for your mom and siblings. I'm proud of how you've put your family before everything else. I'm proud of the man that you've become. I know I won't be there to see it but I know in my heart that one day you will make a wonderful husband and father. _

_ I want to thank you; for all that you have taught me. In raising you and your siblings, I was able to experience childhood. I was able to learn to cherish the small moments and celebrate the big ones. I've learned what it means to be a father. _

_ And lastly, Bri, I want to say that it will get better. The pain and loss you feel now does get better. You may feel sad from time to time and that's perfectly okay. Just know that I will always be there to listen when you need to talk. I will always be in your heart and I will always be in your memories. I love you son, which will never change._

_ Love,_

_ Dad_

**AN: Well…. That's the last chapter. I do plan on an epilog, however, this is the end. I know it's not what everyone would have liked to have happen, but I have my reasons for ending things the way I did. After I post the epilog I will post an explanation for why wrote the entire story the way I did. **

** Anyway, I just wanted to say, thank you all for reading this entire story! It's been a blast writing Fatherhood. Thank you!**


	59. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

"Your Ghost"- Greg Laswell

Amanda (POV)

It had been five years since he passed away. I still kept his clothes on his side of the closet. His toothbrush still sat next to mine by the bathroom sink. His silver watch I had given him for Christmas still sat on the nightstand next to a picture of us that had been taken when we were on vacation in Alaska one summer. There were reminders of him all over the house, yet I couldn't bring myself to box them up. It was what our kids were used to. His things were a part of what made our house our home.

I flung a stick down the beach and watched as Hank sprinted down the shore. He was a four-year-old German Shepard that I had bought just a year after he had passed away. Hank had been good for the twins and Sophia as well. He had been good for me too; having Hank around gave me something to keep busy with.

"That's a good boy," I cooed as I rubbed his ears and took the stick from him. "I think it's time we head home, Hank,"

When he was a puppy we had trained him to not need a leash. He would just trot at my side, unless of course he was chasing a stick or a ball. Once we made it back to the house and inside I got him a fresh bowl of cold water and set it on his rug for him. He gulped it down instantly without hesitation.

I sat down at the counter and began to do some work on my laptop. It was just after four, which meant Mason, and Wyatt would be coming home from basketball practice soon. It was late in the fall, and Brice and Lyla would be coming home for a long weekend visit. Sophia was planning on coming home from UW as well.

"Mom!" It was Mason who bellowed first.

"Kitchen," I called back.

"When's Brice getting home?" Wyatt asked as they began raiding the fridge.

"He should be here in time for dinner," I informed, looking up from my work. "Which, if you eat those chips, you'll spoil your dinner."

Mason sighed and grabbed an apple from the bowl of fruit on the counter instead.

"That's better," I smiled. "How was practice?"

"Mason had to run suicides," Wyatt snickered.

"What did you do?" I asked. Mason was more of a troublemaker than Wyatt, however they both were notorious for their mischief.

"I was… talking to… someone," he mumbled, not meeting my eyes.

"Emma Riley," Wyatt teased and Mason flushed, glaring at his brother.

"Oh really," I smiled.

"I'm going to go start my home work," Mason stalked off to his room.

Shortly after Wyatt climbed the stairs to their room to get started on his homework as well. About an hour later I began preparing dinner, nothing too special, just pasta and a salad.

"Mom!" It was Sophia this time that called from the front door.

"Kitchen," I simply called back.

"Hey," she greeted as she came over to give me a hug.

"Hey," I greeted back. "How's school going?"

"Great," she replied as she helped me cut up the lettuce. She had decided to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor.

"And how are things with _Ben_?" I asked, nudging her playfully.

"He's wonderful," I could see her smile beaming.

"Yeah?" I said, "Do you think we'll be meeting him soon?"

"You never know," she winked.

"Mom!" This time it was Brice.

I rolled my eyes at how routine my children had become.

"Kitchen," I called back for the third time.

He came into the kitchen with little Owen Kyle Trager in his arms and Lyla following closely in toe.

"There's my favorite grandson," I cooed, stepping around the counter to take him from Brice.

"He's your only grandson, Mom," Sophia pointed out.

"And that's why he's my favorite," I smiled.

Brice and Lyla and gotten married two summer ago and Owen was born sixteen months later. I greeted Lyla with a hug and watched as Brice went to test the pasta sauce that was simmering in a pot on the stove.

Brice had gone down his own career path and become a writer. He played hockey through college and played professionally until he tore his ACL a year ago. Now he was teaching high school English and working on a book. Lyla had become a nurse and worked in pediatrics. They both were very happy with one another and their lives together.

"It looks like this is done," I noted. "Sophia, will you go get your brothers for dinner?"

She darted to the bottom of the stairs and bellowed up to the twins. I handed Owen over to Lyla, then took the dinner plates from the cabinet and Brice took the food over to the table. We all fell into our usual seats at the table and began passing around the food until everyone had been served. There was playful teasing between the kids and a casual conversation of catching up.

After dinner had been cleaned up, the boys took Hank out back and began wrestling around. I sat on the back porch with a glass of wine enjoying the scene before me.

"They're 25 and 17 years old yet they still act like their 5," Sophia commented sitting next to me.

"That will never change," Lyla added as she closed the porch door behind her.

"Owen finally fell asleep?" I asked.

"Yeah," she sighed. "He just started sleeping through the night and it's been wonderful."

"I remember those days," I laughed. "Many sleepless nights spent awake with you kids," I teased Sophia.

"It was worth it," she retorted.

"I can't tell who's wearing who out more," Lyla noted as she watched the boys chase Hank, "Hank or the guys,"

"Oh, Hank's wearing them out," Sophia laughed. "They'll fall asleep easily tonight."

It began getting late and the boys eventually joined us on the porch. They brought their witty banter with them. Hank calmed down and lay at my feet. It was nice having all of my kid's home, even though they could be rowdy, I missed the noise. It was too quiet when it was just Hank, the boys and I at home.

Eventually everyone evaded into their respective rooms and went to bed. I pulled back the covers on my side of the bed, after changing into my pajamas. As I climbed into bed, Hank hopped up and settled at my feet. I laid there for a moment and ran my hand against the empty space beside me. After five years of him being gone, I still had trouble sleeping alone. I couldn't quite get used to the empty feeling. Not having him there to wrap his arms around me. Not feeling his warm presence beside me.

I sighed, and tried my best to push the thoughts out of my mind. I glanced down at Hank at the foot of the bed, his head resting on his paws. I turned over and onto my side, my back toward the empty space.

"I still love you, Kyle," I whispered into the darkness of the room. "Forever."

**AN: I wanted to start off this last Author's Note by explaining a few things. I'll warn you now that this will be a little long…sorry. **

** Kyle XY was a huge part of my life when the show was still on. I still remember when it aired in 2006, to be honest; I wasn't even planning on watching the show. Sure, I had seen the promotions with Matt Dallas hold his shirt up and showing off his belly button-less abs. However I just didn't think to even watch it. Than the night it aired I was just flipping through the channels and I came across the show. As Kyle was welcomed into the Trager family, I fell in love with the show. It was one of the few shows that had a genuine concept and was very original. **

** I remember there being a Kyle XY forum for the fans to post questions or theories about the show. Than people began writing fanfictions about the show and that led me to this site. After reading a few fanfictions I took a shot at writing a few. I wrote Silver Bullet and attempted to write Still Standing. I will admit that those were not my best pieces of writing however everyone starts somewhere. **

** As Kyle XY came to a close and it became official that the show would not be returning for another season, I had the idea to write Fatherhood. I started writing Fatherhood in March of 2009. I feel that with this story, I was able to stay true to the characters of the show, however I was also able to evolve them into something of my own. With this story the characters were able to grow. **

** The intent of Fatherhood, was to have Kyle experience being a father. It started off as Kyle adopting Brice, and it evolved into so much more. I never intended to be writing this story for as long as I have. I never expected for it to receive such great reviews either. **

**With this story Kyle was able to see his kids be born and watch them grow. Through his children he was able to experience a childhood that he never had. There are many milestones that occur during a journey such as fatherhood, having kids, teaching them, and watching them grow. However with any child's life they must experience death at some point in their life. For Kyle's kids, it was unfortunately the death of their father. **

**I hope that there aren't too many hard feelings over the way I chose to end Fatherhood. I hope that you all can understand why I did. Anyway, writing this story has been beyond wonderful and I couldn't ask for better readers. You've all been fantastic and I thank you all for reading and sticking it out for as long as you have! Thank you!**


End file.
